The Dark Slayer (therogueslayer) wrote in zombieslogs, @ 2013-01-30 12:29:00 |
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Entry tags: | emily fields, faith lehane |
Who: Faith and Emily
What: Having the talk
When: This afternoon
Where: Emily's cell
Warnings: I don't think so but I will update if necessary.
Connor really sucked with his stupid sniffing nose. He needed to keep his nose to himself and to show him so she had punched him right in the nose when the two of them had sparred in the gym the day before. The punk was definitely his father's son because Faith could almost hear Angel saying the words to her that Connor was saying. She knew Connor was right that she was just making things worse for herself by not being real with Emily and just waiting around for Emily to figure out she could do better and break up with Faith.
She hadn't meant to screw up and have sex with Stefan. If only he had played along and fought with her. She could have gotten the physical release that way. But that wasn't how her and Stefan worked. They never sparred before and probably weren't going to start any time soon. He had warned her that if she opened that door he would really hurt her. She didn't believe that he could but she didn't want to be tempting fate by opening that door. Not that it was an excuse for what she had done. She had betrayed Emily by fucking around with Stefan and to make matters worse she didn't exactly regret what had happened between her and Stefan. God, he pissed her off so bad and so often but there was just something about him that seemed to stare right through her like she was made of glass.
It was no secret that Faith was attracted to danger. Kenny had seemed like a regular guy but he was anything but with his tulpas. Sometimes Faith wondered what would have happened if she had stuck around instead of just bailing when she found him in bed with his the mirage of his ex-girlfriend. Guy had issues no doubt but he was different, dark and rough around the edges like Faith. That had been a different time and she had been a different girl.
Then there was Angelus who had turned on the bad girl in Faith hard. Really her attraction to Angelus had everything to do with Buffy and taking something that belonged to her sister slayer. That didn't mean that Angelus didn't get Faith's juices flowing in all the wrong directions.
After that was Buffy herself, tiny and blonde and just as deadly as Faith if not more. Getting her hands on the golden girl had been a personal triumph for Faith but she had no delusions about who was on top in that relationship.
Alec was supposed to be different. His sense of humor and devil may care attitude had matched Faith's own but she was fire and he was ice. Fire had to melt ice eventually and Alec hadn't exactly been willing to go along for the ride. When he rebelled against Faith he had rebelled hard leaving her devastated even though she was the one who packed his bags and threw them over the fence.
Stefan was no Angelus but his Ripper side intrigued The Slayer even as she struggled to keep him on the straight and narrow. Stefan was pure darkness plain and simple and Faith could get lost in it if she let herself.
Emily was different from all of them. While she had her own baggage, she was the light in the dark. Faith had thought she could use that light as a guide, follow it all the way to goodness, happiness, whatever it was that Hallmark sold a bunch of crap for. Sure, she had initially just thought Emily was hot as hell and she had been a sexual conquest. But the more time Faith had spent with her, the more she liked the other girl. But there was always that guard up, that fear that Emily would see the ugly monster that lived inside of Faith's skin. She was afraid that Emily would see the dark and turn away from it. Faith had no idea if her fears were unfounded or not but she had to do the right thing like Connor said and let her go. She wasn't sure if she could let Emily completely go but she had to try. It was only fair.
But that was the bitch about life. It was hardly ever fair.
"Hey," she said as she hung back in the doorway of Emily's cell. "What's up?"