Shannon (ex_slayersha519) wrote in zombieslogs, @ 2013-01-28 12:13:00 |
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Entry tags: | colleen, shannon |
Who: Shannon and C
What: Two slayers in an infirmary
When: now is fine
Where: infirmary
Warnings: Language and angst probably
Days seemed to blur into each other in the infirmary. Shannon was still planted in the infirmary as much as possible. She was surviving on caffeine, cat naps, little breaks here and there with Neal, food from Damon and Neal, and the belief her friends would be okay. She wasn't giving up on Colleen. Zoey was already better, and was helping the doctors by giving them her blood to examine. Shannon knew the older girl could take care of herself, and she trusted the doctors here not to put her through what she'd gone through before. That didn't mean she wasn't keeping an eye out anyway. The way of the slayer was to be on guard.
Her focus was on Colleen though. Between the doctors and the healers, her friend was recovering well physically. Shannon was still worried about her. She'd finally convinced herself to stop comparing Colleen's mental state to what Shannon's would be in the roles were reversed. Shannon and Colleen were as different as night and day, and it wasn't fair to put Shannon's issues on Colleen. This wasn't about Shannon; it was about Colleen.
C was damn tough. Made of the kinds of heart and soul it took to survive in an ugly world. She may not be the exact girl she was before, but she was still here. There would be no trying to force her to go back to who she was. There would be love and acceptance of who she was now. Shannon really did love her too. It had come crashing around her the second she saw how small she looked in that bed. No slayer should look that small, but she realized they all did when they were sleeping or injured. They were girls put in the world to protect to the world from evil. Where was the protection from themselves or freak accidents? Where was the fucking slayer dream to warn Shan, Faith and Cari that their little sister slayer would need them?
It wasn't good to focus on that though. The anger and rage could collide with the frustration later. Rose had already offered to spar with her when she was ready, but Shannon wasn't ready yet. Not ready to leave C's side even if C swore she wanted to be left alone.
Alone.
That was what she kept going back to. Colleen had been alone when she got hurt. How long had she been there, bleeding out, pinned beneath a beam in a building that could have completely crashed around her? How scared had she been? What if Angel hadn't found her? What if Faith and Dr. Yang hadn't gotten there in time? Those were things she addressed during the cat naps. It was probably why she was still fighting not to get deep sleep. She didn't want the full on nightmares of what her friend had gone through, when she hadn't been given a dream to be able to help her.
C slept on and off, and she was more quiet than Shannon was used to when she was awake. Shannon prayed a lot even though she found herself angry with God these days. She prayed another slayer wouldn't die. She prayed that Colleen would find the strength to carry on in a world that was depressing even when you hadn't lost a piece of your physical self. She prayed for Faith, and that her big sister slayer wouldn't let this be the thing that brought her down or made her question her leadership. She prayed for God to take the zombies away, or at the very least, to give them something to hope for. She prayed for understanding.
Sometimes she wondered if those prayers were ever heard at all.
It was that moment of wondering that got broken by the stirring of her friend waking up in the bed next to her. Shannon watched her as she came to from whatever she had been dreaming about. "Hey, C. Do you want something to drink or eat? I got brought a stash of caffeine and stuff." It was a typical greeting. Something mundane to gauge what mood C was in today.