Gemma Reilly (angelsinangles) wrote in zenithnetwork, @ 2017-02-17 21:47:00 |
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Entry tags: | #day 068, daniel, erran, felix, gemma, georgie |
gemma: 11:07 AM
Fuck this house and fuck whoever's in it that thinks this behavior with the yellow stars is okay. And you know what, that little stunt with the chat print-out in the laundry room is great. I guess I chose the wrong day to wash my goddamn underwear. (I took the transcript down and tossed it.)
Cool to know that our private conversations can be printed out anytime, thanks to our benevolent gods! I'm sending messages by magpie now. If I can find any that are alive.I'm so tired of being angry
Private to Georgie and Daniel
Hey yo, that little chat in the laundry room was cute! Thanks a lot for talking shit behind my back, Georgie!
This is exactly the kind of stuff They wanted you to do, and you're doing it. It was made-up, no matter how real the stuff seemed, and everybody did their best to treat everybody else like a goddamn dignified human being. And just a fucking heads-up: I have passing privilege and it was in my fucking bio that I'm Latina for fuck's... so it's not my fault that I got labeled white and put in some high and mighty position, otherwise I would've been right there with you in the kitchen and on the shit side of town. Frankly, if They were nailing historical accuracy, Cecilia, Pam, and Erran should probably have been second-class citizens too. But hey, somebody clearly corrected that oversight this morning and made them feel like victims, so. How are we supposed to know it wasn't you guys? I want to believe it wasn't. Please tell me it wasn't.
I'm just disappointed as hell, and pissed off, and seeing that broke my heart. Nobody chose this shit; "white" was arbitrary as hell; and nobody I know of was comfortable with it or cool with it or was a shitty person about the setup. We were all doing our best to benefit each other. Georgie, I thought you were my friend, and Daniel, I thought you seemed cool and I was pumped about getting to know you better. I'm not trying to sound like anybody's tía threatening to hit them with a flip-flop, but I'm serious, this broke my heart. I guess I thought I could trust the people in the house if I couldn't trust the people RUNNING the house, you know? Fuck me, I guess.
I get being pissed off about a lifetime of being treated like shit, that's not what I'm castigating you for. I'm coming at you because we didn't choose that situation any more than anybody else did. THEY put us up to it. Being bitter at white people in general is something I fucking support you in, okay, but being pissed at "white people" because we got put in arbitrary positions of power is exactly what They wanted you to do, and now people are going to think this stunt is your fault. And I'm not totally sure I don't think that it wasn't, and that's messing with me pretty hard here.
Private to Erran
So how do you feel about really athletic, exhausting, angry sex?
Private to Felix
Thank you so much, dude. That was so generous of you. You're like, the one amazing sunshine spot right now. I have no idea what to ask for, but just... thank you so, so much.