Title: First Time Prompt: #3 The AV Life Character: Iwaki Rating: Mild R Warnings: Het mentioned Summary: Professionalism is important to Iwaki, but it is also a mask...
The First Time
The first time, he holds on to his professionalism. He builds an invisible shield from it, to hide his shame behind.
The first time, he gets it up by thinking of how he is now able to pay the rent for his small flat, even next month, and the next.
The first time he fucks a girl on film, he thanks her for her hard work and her guidance. He is grateful she doesn't see his pain.
The first time he is alone after selling out his talent and his body, he cries.
It's funny...for me, some fandoms just come easier and some take ages until I dare to write something. And then I have lots of insecurities about actually writing in that fandom, too. *sigh*
HP for example...quite difficult for me! YnM on the other hand seems to flow rather easy. Youka Nitta or Yamane Ayano...I have no idea if I'll ever manage to write something in those fandoms. Argh!
Ah, but the characters don't talk to me. Don't know how to express it otherwise...I simple don't hear their voices in my head. I feel like some kind of clueless voyeur who wouldn't even be able to tell what s/he has seen without messing up the facts.
I can't imagine anything else either.. usually it begins with thoughts that they can get away from it later, and guys often think it's nice to combine work and pleasure. Later there's big disappointments waiting.
Hehe. Canon actually says it is Katou who has been the one to loosen up so Iwaki is able to cry. *snuggles them* He doesn't seem to me as a person who'd express his feelings like that; and in the beginning, when Katou first gets to know him, he is either violent or angry.
He'd be lost without the professionalism. There are quite a few things he manages to do or not to do, using it as a defence.
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