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Quibbler: December 28, 1997 [Dec. 28th, 2009|05:54 pm]
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McGonagall Not Leaving Hogwarts
From the editor, Xenophilius Lovegood

Prior to news misrepresented this morning in another established source of information to the Wizarding public, Hogwarts Headmistress Minerva McGonagall stated unequivicolly this morning in an owl to the Quibbler offices that she is in no negotiations to reliquish her position at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and has no intentions of entering into such negotiations.

Vampire Attack in London
Alastair Freeman

Our eyes in the Muggle news world made a grim discovery early yesterday morning in downtown London where the body of a man was found in an alleyway outside of an apartment building. The man had no marks on his body other than several pinprick-sized holes on his inner arm.

Muggle reports stated that the man had simply bled to death. However, there was no evidence of internal bleeding, nor was any blood found on or around the victim. Muggle investigators are puzzled. Our team of reporters can only come to one conclusion by the lack of evidence at hand: There is a rogue vampire loose somewhere in London. We ask that everyone be cautious when traveling about after dark until this creature can be found.
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Quibbler: November 22, 1997 [Nov. 22nd, 2009|01:36 pm]
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Headmistress' Statement

To those it will concern,

The first thoughts of the Hogwarts administration must be, and are always, for the safety of her students. For hundreds of years, Hogwarts has stood not only as the pinnacle of education in the wizarding world, but also as a bastion of hope and a representative of what can be when all magical students, from all families and walks of life, are treated and educated equally.

In order to remain as she has always been, certain steps must now be taken to protect that way of life which Hogwarts represents. The long time refusal of the Ministry of Magic to accept the fact of Voldemort's return was the beginning of a dramatic sequence of events which have brought the Ministry of Magic to this repugnant, reprehensible point. The recent unchecked attack on the Ministry itself, the uninvestigated murders of Ministry employees, the propagation of unfair decrees against Muggleborns, and the recent release and acquittal of Death Eaters can no longer be borne in her overseers if Hogwarts is to remain acting in the best interest of the students herein.

For that reason, Hogwarts now rejects the control and oversight of the Ministry of Magic until such a time when the Ministry of Magic again represents what is noble and just in the wizarding world.

Headmistress Minerva McGonagall
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Quibbler: November 7, 1997 [Nov. 7th, 2009|03:03 pm]
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A Tribute to Albus Dumbledore
Elphias Doge

I met Albus Dumbledore at the age of eleven, on our first day at Hogwarts. Our mutual attraction was undoubtedly due to the fact that we both felt ourselves to be outsiders. I had contracted dragon pox shortly before arriving at school, and while I was no longer contagious, my pockmarked visage and greenish hue did not encourage many to approach me.

For his part, Albus had arrived at Hogwarts under the burden of unwanted notoriety. Scarcely a year previously, his father, Percival, had been convicted of a savage and well-publicised attack upon three young Muggles. Albus never attempted to deny that his father (who was to die in Azkaban) had committed this crime; on the contrary, when I plucked up enough courage to ask him, he assured me that he knew his father to be guilty. Beyond that, Dumbledore refused to speak of the sad business,though many attempted to make him do so. Some, indeed, were disposed to praise his father's action and assumed that Albus, too, was a Muggle-hater. They could not have been more mistaken: as anybody who knew Albus would attest, he never revealed the remotest anti-Muggle tendency. Indeed, his determined support for Muggle rights gained him many enemies in subsequent years. In a matter of months, however, Albus's own fame had begun to eclipse that of his father.By the end of his First year, he would never again be known as the son of a Muggle-hater, but as nothing more or less than the most brilliant student ever seen at the school.

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Aliens Attack Cirencester
Yvonne Iye

Shocking photographs from Cirencester prove that we are not alone in the universe. Submitted by an anonymous citizen, the following photograph clearly documents spaceships full of extra terrestrials flying near the town centre.

"So I looked up and saw this bright bloody light, blinking. Like it was waving hullo! Really!" Our source continues, "So I get out my omioculars and take a look and there's this big silver flying thing. No windows. I think it had a nice flame decal on the side though. I've seen muggle planes before, so it wasn't them. It didn't have proper wings! Must have been something else!"

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