InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Then shalt thou count to three"

Nymphadora Tonks (nymphadarling) wrote in wished,
@ 2010-02-09 15:25:00

Entry tags:

!1998: 02, !complete, nymphadora tonks, remus lupin

Who: Nymphadora Tonks and Remus Lupin
What: Trying to mend bridges
When: Backdated to Monday afternoon, after classes
Where: Tonks's office in Hogwarts
Rating: Probably mid-level for language

The weekend had been hellish for Tonks. While she wasn't big as a house yet, she was getting uncomfortably large, and sleeping was already becoming an issue. Add in her impending conversation with Remus and the realisation that he had in fact not cheating on Sirius with her, or her with Sirius, and her mind was a mess.

She wanted to forgive him for it, but there had been so much anger behind breaking up that she had a difficult time swallowing it all so quickly. One mulligan, she thought, for kissing George. If he really did value her as a partner and being in the baby's life without the mess of separating--but even if he did say he wanted another go at it, how could she trust that he meant it?

He'd told her. He'd been up front and honest with her about it, and she had to take that into consideration. He could have lied or never mentioned it to her at all, and he hadn't. That meant something, too.

But what if she forgave him and the whole bloody thing happened all over again? What if this was just Remus's way of saying he wanted out, and he was too afraid to tell her now that he knew about the baby?

By the time Monday afternoon came, she was a wreck. She'd been able to hide it for the most part during her classes, and she'd catnapped during lunch, but her nerves were quickly getting the better of her as four o'clock approached. She had no idea how this conversation was going to go, but she did know that the baby's health and welfare came first. Until they had that figured out, there was nothing that was more important.

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wolfylupin
2010-02-09 10:15 pm UTC (link)

Remus wasn't having much of an easier time of it. He filled his days with this and that for the Order, and a few odd jobs. But when the Order was largely made up of a waiting game, there wasn't much for Remus to do. He couldn't hold down a job, and after the fiasco that had happened with Tonks, he had been avoiding people more than normal - and Remus wasn't always the most social of butterflies anyway.

But it left him with nothing to do but think over and over his mistakes, and his actions, and whatever the reasons behind them had been. He was unsure why he'd done it, really. Perhaps he really wasn't ready to commit. Or perhaps he'd just been a coward. He was fairly sure it was a bit of both.

He hadn't come to any solid conclusions other than that he wanted to be able to be a part of his child's life, and to mend fences with Tonks as much as was possible. He wasn't sure how much that would be, yet. But he was hopeful they could, at least, end up civil, if not friendly.

He passed a few students he recognized as he made his way through Hogwarts, nodding a hello to them but not stopping. Finally he reached Tonks' office, and had to nerve himself a bit before he could knock. When Tonks answered, he let himself in hesitantly, giving her a small, uncertain smile. "Hello, Tonks."

Remus had been party to a great many awkward situations over the years, but he thought this might be the worst of them.

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nymphadarling
2010-02-09 10:23 pm UTC (link)

Tonks swallowed nervously as Remus entered, and she managed a weak smile in return. "Wotcher," she said, her voice lacking her usual cheerfulness and enthusiasm. It had been a very long few weeks, and she'd thought over what she would say to him again and again. Now that they were face to face, it all disappeared, leaving her with uncertainty and a vague sense of nausea. How this conversation went might very well define a large portion of the rest of her life, and she didn't think she was ready for that.

"Take a seat," she said, nodding toward one of the chairs on the other side of her desk. For the sake of putting them on an equal level rather than having her sit behind a desk, she stood and made her way around to the other side. Pulling the second chair out, she turned it to face him, giving them some room between them, and she sat down.

She rubbed her hands nervously together and watched him, unsure how to start. There were so many things to say and talk about, but by far the most important was their son. Forcing herself to relax, she said in a soft voice, "Are you still sure you want to be in his life? Once you're there, you can't...you can't take off if it doesn't suit."