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Tweak says, "where's Ian?"

Dean Thomas (deanthomas) wrote in wished,
@ 2010-03-14 01:04:00

Entry tags:

!1998: 03, !incomplete, daphne greengrass, dean thomas

Who: Dean Thomas, Daphne Greengrass
When: Sunday afternoon, the 14th
Where: Grounds
What: Run in!
Rating: TBA, probably low.
Open/Closed: Closed

Dean hadn't seen much of Daphne. Not since their little meeting in the library, at least. He'd seen her in the Great Hall, or around classes here and there, but that was all. He wasn't daft, he didn't try to talk to her in public, and if she was staying clear, then it was probably wiser than seeing him anyway. Since him and Seamus' little chat, they'd been seeing more of each other, since Seamus didn't have to worry about hiding where he was going from Dean anymore. So Dean didn't think about her that much. Or less than he had been, at least.

But that didn't mean he didn't think about her. Everything about them spending any time with each other was a completely insane notion. They were nothing alike, she hated all his friends and he hated hers, and she couldn't be seen with him without ostracizing herself. So they made no sense.

Common sense didn't have a lot of sway over the rest of his brain though, once in a while, and though Dean didn't ever TRY to find her, he kept an eye out. And when he was sitting outside, a little ways from the school, reading through his Transfiguration notes while he perched on a large tree root that made a decent enough bench, he caught sight of Daphne from the corner of his eye. He looked up, hesitating a moment and looking around. There was no one around that he saw, and he got up after a moment, walking over and catching her attention, giving her a slight smile. "Hi, Greengrass," he greeted, a little awkwardly. He hadn't the faintest idea what to say, but he wanted to talk to her. He probably should have sussed out something better to say first, though.

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daphne__g
2010-03-25 01:26 pm UTC (link)

Daphne dismissed his comment about making him feel good. It was the truth! Would he rather she lie about what she was thinking? Daphne wasn't really known for sugar coating her honesty, even to her friends, she was blunt and honest and didn't care if it hurt their feelings or not. To be quite honest, Daphne was surprised that Dean put up with her so much, most of the people she spoke to on a regular basis get frustrated with her and walk away. Dean wasn't like that, he kept coming back no matter how annoying, or obnoxious her words were.

"It's hard to ignore it." She said quietly, arms crossing over her chest a bit child-like. Frowning slightly, she was becoming more and more frustrated. "I don't like being told what to do, I don't like being forced to feel things for one person, and then told not to feel things for another person. If Vaisey can snog that bint and not get in trouble, why can't I?" Why, indeed. When Nikolas was caught snogging Lucy, DAPHNE got in trouble. Her parents blamed her for not being the one that was kissing Nikolas in the library. It made no sense. She got along with Nikolas all right, she supposed... but she wasn't about to go off and snog him.

"What we should do is ignore it and forget it ever happened," Taking a step closer to her, her lips curled into a smirk, "but that's not what I want to do, and I always get what I want." A challenging glance was given to Dean. Spoiled brat, much?

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deanthomas
2010-03-26 02:38 am UTC (link)

Dean didn't really mind he blunt attitude, or the tendency toward caustic humor. If he minded that sort of thing really, then he'd never have liked her to start with. Maybe it was him romanticizing a pretty girl - but he liked to think that a lot of how she reacted was a cover for a softer side he saw crop up, now and then.

"Well, you can snog her, if you want. But she might not like birds, since she's snogging Vaisey," Dean answered. He smiled a little and shook his head.

He looked at her as she stepped in. "I don't always get what I want, Greengrass. And you say it now - but what about when your House finds out? Or your family? Your sister? Don't get me wrong, I'm a brilliant bloke. But am I worth the trouble you'd bring on yourself?" And possibly him, but Dean wasn't considering that as much.

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daphne__g
2010-03-26 03:17 am UTC (link)

"Sod," Daphne smacked him lightly as she smiled. "That's not what I meant, and you know it." Biting down on her bottom lip she fell very quiet as he began to reason with her.

Pulling her hand back, fingers laced behind her back. Taking a step back from him, gaze moved to look to the side. Clenching her jaw, she realized he was right. It made her feel down right horrid that he was right. She wasn't so concerned about what her house might say, but more about what her family would say. She was all ready toeing the line with them, they had certain expectations of her, and she wasn't following them.

Swallowing, she made sure to keep her gaze trained on the grass just to the side of them. She didn't know what to say to him, "You're right." What more could she say? Clenching her jaw once more, nails dug into the palm of her hand trying to think of something to say to him. "And all the trouble it would bring on to yourself as well." This wasn't fair!

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deanthomas
2010-03-26 04:08 am UTC (link)

"If she decides she wants to though, think I can watch?" Dean teased again, watching her pull her hands back, shrink away. Dean felt like a wanker for having brought the mood down. But he didn't want to get her hurt. And he could be reasonable. He could. No matter how pretty she was, or how well she snogged, or how often he thought of her.

"Yeah. . . I know I am. I just wish I wasn't," Dean admitted quietly. They could maybe sneak about. For a while. But things like that always got found out at Hogwarts. And Dean was pretty sure he'd get tired of that eventually, and start to resent it. He wasn't a secretive bloke. He could keep secrets when he had to, of course. But he didn't like hiding things. "My family doesn't give a toss who I date, or know what I do here, and my Housemates would think I was daf, but they wouldn't hate me for it. I don't think it's me who'd lose out over it, Daph." He really wanted to wrap an arm around her - she looked sad, and Dean was protective enough that he wanted to keep her from feeling that way. "So. . . where does that leave us, you think?"

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daphne__g
2010-03-26 04:55 am UTC (link)

She felt sad, she kicked herself inside for feeling this bloody upset. This, this was the exact reason why she just kept everyone at arms length. She hated putting herself out there just to end up hurt. Forget that Dean was probably not feeling too good at the moment either. Daphne felt so trapped, and so... confused. She hated this feeling and at the moment she just wanted to crawl back into her bed and forget any of this happened.

Gnawing on her bottom lip, Daphne unlaced her fingers from behind her back, and ran them through her hair. "I don't know." She replied quiet, running her fingers over her ear and just leaning her cheek against her hand. This wasn't fair, it wasn't fair that she was obligated to act a certain way, to date certain people, and pretend that her life was all daffodils and rainbows. She wasn't going to cry, no, Daphne wasn't really a crier. She was more upset and sad that this really couldn't go anywhere... but she wasn't going to cry over it.

"I don't know where it leaves us, Thomas." Dropping her hand from her cheek, she just crossed her arms over her chest once more. "I hate when things get so bloody complicated. This... this is why..." Allowing her voice to trail off, she turned her head to look towards the lake. This is why I don't allow myself to get close to anyone... is what she wanted to say, but even now she was trying to pull herself away from him and try to forget any emotions that she might feel for him. This was going to be hard, especially since she really didn't WANT to stop seeing him.

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deanthomas
2010-03-26 08:50 am UTC (link)

Logically, it left them in their own houses, with their own friends, and not sneaking off to snog or talk.

Logic bloody well sucked though, Dean thought. It wasn't what he wanted. "I'm sorry. . . really bloody sorry. I mean if things were different. . ." Dean sighed. "I'd be begging you for a date, Daph, and praying you said yes, yeah? It's not like I don't want to. It's just everything else." He couldn't resist reaching out to brush her hair back from her face again. "We can still talk and such. In the journals? No one can see then. And maybe we can just. . . say sod it sometimes and skeeve off somewhere, but just be careful and not. . . I don't know. Call it anything." Since they couldn't exactly exclusively date when it was secret, and she was supposed to marry someone and all.

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daphne__g
2010-03-27 11:00 pm UTC (link)

"Why are you sorry? You didn't do anything wrong." Huffing, she kept her gaze on the lake. Without the squid there to disrupt the water, it looked flat and like glass reflecting the sky above it. It looked calm and peaceful, just the way Daphne liked it.

"Yeah..." She said quietly, tilting her head just slightly against his touch. "Sure." She shrugged and took another step back. "I should probably be the one apologizing for allowing this to carry on as it did. I didn't mean to actually start developing feelings for you, and I didn't mean to kiss you in the first place, and I didn't mean to make things so bloody complicated." Crossing her arms over her chest once more, she laced her fingers into her shirt, attempting to comfort herself. She hated this feeling, she hated feeling so helpless and so confused and so useless. This was the exact reason why she avoided people in the first place, and why she guarded her feelings and emotions so heavily. She didn't like this feeling and this would likely force her to keep those emotions in check. It was easier to push everyone away then to deal with these feelings.

It wasn't likely that she would sneak off with him anymore to snog. Snogging led to feelings that she didn't want.

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deanthomas
2010-03-30 05:33 am UTC (link)

Dean cocked his head and smiled wistfully. "I'm sorry because I like you?" He was sorry it didn't work, that they couldn't just snog and hang out or date and see where it went. It wasn't fair. And even if it was the smarter thing to do, he was sorry she was unhappy.

"It wasn't just you. And I think I might have been the first one to kiss you anyway." Dean watched her fidget. It was unlike her, and like those little odd moments of vulnerability she displayed - strangely endearing.

He reached over to squeeze one of her fidgeting hands briefly, and then moved back. "So. . . I'll see you around?" he asked slowly, awkward too. They'd pretty much agreed not to do that, but Dean just. . . said it anyway.

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