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Nathaniel Howe ([info]anothermeaning) wrote in [info]welcomenetwork,
@ 2015-02-08 05:01:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:cole, fenris, jane shepard, nathaniel howe, river tam, the warden

Has anyone seen Anders? He didn't come home the other evening, and I didn't think too much of it until but I thought he would make it back some time today, but it's well after midnight, and I still haven't heard anything. Someone please tell me they've heard something. Please. I'd appreciate any information anyone has.


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[info]compassionate
2015-02-08 10:24 am UTC (link)
Cold. Dark. Clothes turned to hands, to mail, weighing and pulling down. So much easier than he knew. Deep and waiting.

But stopped. She's more herself when she saves. It's what she knows. He doesn't know who himself is and now he thinks he knows and it hurts.

I have one with a little stubby tail. He'll like her.

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[info]anothermeaning
2015-02-08 10:27 am UTC (link)
I don't What? Kid, you seem perfectly nice, but I need someone who doesn't speak in metaphors. I'm not entirely sure I understand.

Another cat?

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[info]compassionate
2015-02-08 10:33 am UTC (link)
He didn't remember what he did when he was they. When he did, it hurt too much, and he didn't understand it because he didn't have the memory to understand it. Like someone else's hurts burrowing into his head and hollowing him out.

But someone was there.

Yes. She has spotties.

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[info]anothermeaning
2015-02-08 10:51 am UTC (link)
Yes. I realized that. I tried to help him. I'm trying.

Why didn't he

I'll let you know when he gets home. You can bring her by.

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[info]compassionate
2015-02-08 10:57 am UTC (link)
Sometimes you can't help because they're not ready to be helped.

Yes. Thank you.

His sorry was a hurt too, and for you. For other things, but for you.

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[info]anothermeaning
2015-02-08 11:02 am UTC (link)
He didn't know how to handle everything. And I didn't know what to say.

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[info]compassionate
2015-02-08 11:14 am UTC (link)
You can't know. Sometimes I would make them forget and say it again, but there weren't right words, even when I did. Sometimes there aren't words.

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[info]anothermeaning
2015-02-08 11:20 am UTC (link)
It would be better if words were easier to find.

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[info]littlealbatross
2015-02-08 10:35 am UTC (link)
It was dark. And cold. And wet. And it pulled him down and he let it. What he deserved. Or he thought so. He just wanted it over. He thought it might hurt less than the hurts in his head and in his heart.

But she pulled too. We don't always get what we want.

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[info]compassionate
2015-02-08 10:38 am UTC (link)
Yes. That. I said that.

It's better that he didn't. It just seemed too big to feel.

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[info]littlealbatross
2015-02-08 10:41 am UTC (link)
I know. Sometimes you have to say the words a little different for them. They don't always understand.

Everything is too big sometimes. I remember. Screaming in my head. Secrets that burned. Hope to god it all stops. But it won't. Bullet in the brainpan would make it all quiet. But they won't.

It's better now.

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[info]compassionate
2015-02-08 10:44 am UTC (link)
You do. I like that you do.

Your brain is bigger than his. He doesn't know bullets. It's good that he doesn't. It would have been too fast to help.

Good. I'll find music for you, when you're feeling too much. So you can dance. It's happy, in your head, when you do.

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[info]littlealbatross
2015-02-08 10:48 am UTC (link)
I like that you do too.

Can't pull someone out of that.

I like to dance. I like dancing and painting. And kittens. And you. You make it brighter.

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[info]compassionate
2015-02-08 11:01 am UTC (link)
Can only stand in the way, and then it still goes through someone.

The kitten likes you, too. I found another.

You could teach me to dance?

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[info]littlealbatross
2015-02-08 11:03 am UTC (link)
Yes.

This one can stay.

I'd like that.

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[info]anothermeaning
2015-02-08 10:52 am UTC (link)
Are you What Is this saying what I think it's saying?

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[info]littlealbatross
2015-02-08 10:57 am UTC (link)
You have to say what you think.

Wouldn't want to pry.

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[info]anothermeaning
2015-02-08 11:03 am UTC (link)
That he tried to drown himself.

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[info]littlealbatross
2015-02-08 11:07 am UTC (link)
Tried and failed and now there are other broken bits.

He was very sorry. He thought about you. Sorry Nate. Forgive me Nate. Love you Nate. Sorry, sorry, sorry. So much pain and love. The hurts are bright.

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[info]anothermeaning
2015-02-08 11:12 am UTC (link)
Oh, Anders. You idiot.

Thank you. I'm not...sure what else to say, or do, until he comes home or someone tells me where to find him. But thank you all the same.

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[info]littlealbatross
2015-02-08 11:19 am UTC (link)
Don't be angry with him. He thought it would help. He thought it would make amends. He just wanted to help. And it hurt too. So much hurt.

He'd thought it before. So many times. When it was dark and quiet and the walls were too close. But he was never capable. But there were many things he thought he wasn't capable of. This was just one more.

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[info]anothermeaning
2015-02-08 11:28 am UTC (link)
I'm not angry. I'm not angry. I'm just... I don't know. But I'm not angry.

I just wish there was something I could do.

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[info]evertheheroine
2015-02-10 05:33 am UTC (link)
I owe you an apology for it taking me so long to check in here, but well, I've been a bit busy. Your friend, Anders? He's in my apartment. And seems as though he'll be all right for the relative time being.

He jumped in the ocean

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[info]anothermeaning
2015-02-10 05:38 am UTC (link)
Would it be all right if I came and got him? Does he want to Is there any reason that I shouldn't?

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[info]evertheheroine
2015-02-10 06:01 am UTC (link)
Since you were looking, it's safe to assume you're an associate? Let's start with introductions, if you wouldn't mind? I'm ShepardJane.

Given the case of exposure and subsequent lack of consciousness, would you be terribly offended if I was a bit wary of just handing him over? You're more than welcome to come by but, well, I'm sure you can understand the reservations I might have about turning over an unconscious man to someone I don't know.

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[info]notaslave
2015-02-10 06:34 am UTC (link)
His name is Nathaniel. He knows Anders well. They share a life. There is another who will wish to help. Hawke. She is his friend.

He lost his memories. I supose that he reganed them.

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[info]evertheheroine
2015-02-10 06:59 am UTC (link)
All kinds of people coming out of the woodwork for Anders huh? Makes me wonderLucky guy. I appreciate the information, don't suppose they were living together, or there's any way for me to corroborate what you're telling me? Not that I'm not the trusting type but, like I said, handing over unconscious people isn't exactly high on my list of acceptable behaviors.

Lost his memories and then got 'em all back? That explains the midnight swim

Anything I should know for when he wakes up?

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[info]notaslave
2015-02-10 07:03 am UTC (link)
They live together. Keep him until he wakes, if it will set you at ease.

Yes. Or was told, perhaps. I do not know witch it was.

He is a mage. They are difficult to keep in place if they do not wish to be somewhere.

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[info]evertheheroine
2015-02-10 07:29 am UTC (link)
It would, and I was planning on it, no offense to his friends. You don't pull a guy out of the ocean, just to throw him to the wolves. Amnesia cases especially, that's just a mess nobody needs, and least of all the guy currently taking up all my blankets.

A mage? Well, that's a first. I can get behind the him not wanting to be kept somewhere. Here's hoping we don't end up putting each other through a wallLet's just hope he's a big fan of gratuity over his lack of being dead..

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[info]notaslave
2015-02-10 07:32 am UTC (link)
We are not friends. But we know one another well. But I'm not a wolf, name or no.

Perhaps he will realise it was foolish when he wakes.

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[info]evertheheroine
2015-02-10 08:10 am UTC (link)
I didn't actually think you were a

Okay. So you're not friends, but you know each other? That, I can at least understand. I'm gonna go ahead and guess that Earth isn't anybody's port of call from his little group, since mages and people who think they're being called wolf at the use of an expression aren't exactly common here? Well, normally anyway..

That being said, saying it's foolish when somebody tries to drown themselves? Not a point I can really argue. At the same time, kinda points to a bit of a serious issue that doesn't exactly need someone puttin' them down about, wouldn't you say?

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[info]notaslave
2015-02-10 08:19 am UTC (link)
Yes. And no. Someone used to call me wolf. It is not a plesant nickname.

Posibly. I am not known for a way with words. And he has little care for what I think, when he is himself. But I care that he not throw himself in the ocean.

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[info]evertheheroine
2015-02-10 09:26 am UTC (link)
Well, that explains a few things. And I apologize about the nickname. I wasn't calling you a wolf, it's just an expression we have around here.

My advice, start with that. Usually people who've tried to make an exit could use being told by people that they would rather the person stick around. Sometimes it goes a lot further than you might think, even more so when it's coming from someone who you don't think has a very high opinion of you.

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[info]notaslave
2015-02-11 04:46 am UTC (link)
It is not fault of yours.

You have known such people before? But I will try to remember.

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[info]evertheheroine
2015-02-11 06:18 am UTC (link)
Just because something was a fault of ignorance doesn't mean it shouldn't be apologized for. Trust me, having seen enough races who are better at it than we could ever hope to be has been a pretty good lesson in when we, as humans, could stand to learn to suck it up and apologize when we say something we didn't mean.

Such people? You mean people who've tried to cash out? Or people who don't really like me? Answer's yes to both.

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[info]notaslave
2015-02-11 06:24 am UTC (link)
Humans are somewhat less likely to apologize as a race where I come from. But it is acepted, and I know nothing was meant by it.

I meant the first.

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[info]evertheheroine
2015-02-11 06:51 am UTC (link)
Well, I apologize for that on behalf of all of us. I've saved the Galaxy, pretty sure that qualifies me.

And...a few. Soldiers life isn't easy and War has a rather unique way of breaking people down.

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[info]anothermeaning
2015-02-10 06:36 am UTC (link)
Nathaniel Howe. If Anders were conscious at any point, he likely would have referenced me as Nate.

And it's fine. Your hesitation is perfectly understandable, given what he apparently attempted to do. I just want to know that he's relatively intact.

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[info]evertheheroine
2015-02-10 06:54 am UTC (link)
Good to meet you Nathaniel. Sorry the circumstances aren't the most ideal in the world. But I'm pretty used to that

All ten fingers, all ten toes. Guy's just lucky someone was there. Coffee or tea?

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jane.
[info]halamshivanas
2015-02-11 12:24 am UTC (link)
Might I come see him? Normally, I would trust Anders to heal himself, but now I am not certain he would even if he were able.

I am Neria Surana, commander of the Grey Wardens of Ferelden. Anders was one of my Wardens once and I feel a certain sense of responsibility for him. I am also a mage, with a speciality in healing. I can help him.

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Neria
[info]evertheheroine
2015-02-11 12:29 am UTC (link)
That's an awfully long and rather impressive title you have there Neria.

From one Commander to another...you'll have to forgive me if I request to keep a watchful eye while you're here. I mean no offense, but clearly one of your crewWardens, is not exactly in the most sound of states. If you think you can help mend him up though, well, I understand that need.

Come by. I'll leave the door unlocked.

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jane | neria.
[info]halamshivanas
2015-02-11 12:35 am UTC (link)
I completely understand. I would be rather disappointed if you took me at my words when Anders's health and safety were at risk.

I will be there shortly. I do not know how much I will be able to do, but I will heal him as much as I am able.

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jane | neria.
[info]evertheheroine
2015-02-11 01:05 am UTC (link)
Appreciate the understanding, at least I can say it's been pretty par for the course from his friends.

I've taken him to see the local doctors, and they assure me that with time and some medicine, he should be all right. I'm sure some healing would be more than welcome though.

Honestly? As his Commander, I feel that I should tell you that it's his mental state I'd be much more worried about.

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[Nathaniel]
[info]notaslave
2015-02-10 06:35 am UTC (link)
He is a fool. I will find Hawke and tell her he needs help.

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nate/fenris.
[info]anothermeaning
2015-02-10 06:38 am UTC (link)
Thank you. I don't know how much I can help. I tried to talk to him, but he just didn't understand how I could look at him the same.

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nate/fenris.
[info]notaslave
2015-02-10 06:54 am UTC (link)
Talking to Anders with his mind set is much like talking to a fervent wall.

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nate | neria.
[info]halamshivanas
2015-02-11 12:36 am UTC (link)
How did it come to this?

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