InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Your mother was a hamster"

Zoe Washburne (warrior_woman) wrote in we_coexist,
@ 2016-03-14 18:45:00

Entry tags:

jesse custer, zoe washburne

Baby talk (Jesse)
Zoe found herself setting the table. Since Michonne joined her in the night, Zoe had a little more time. Tonight was something of a test in a way.

"You made sure she was--"

"Yes, madame." Zoe was distracted, so she didn't make the usual correction. It was almost a dance the two played. "Her gear is up-to-date. We've made all adjustments, and her desired mode of transportation has been tuned and gassed."

"Thank you, Alfred."

Zoe wasn't excited. She was nervous. She was aggitated, and she didn't know why she was bothering with this particular conversation. There had been a time she'd wanted to bring a little person into the world; she'd hoped that somehow some part of Wash was with her in the form of a child. There were times she wondered what a wee Cowboy Godling would be like, running around and causing chaos much like his...or better yet, her father. They'd never had the talk; they were ones to think too far into the future. Yet...he needed to know.

Didn't he?

Perhaps Jesse did have some say in the future once he knew. Anything was possible through him, wasn't it?

"Keep an eye on her tonight. If she heads into something ridiculously stupid, lemme know." There was a small part of her that hoped Michonne found something ridiculously stupid to get into. Not knowing how the night would go with Jesse was a toe or two on the scary side.

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cowboy_god
2016-03-21 07:59 pm UTC (link)

The City was quiet lately. Jesse didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing, it was just a thing. It meant a lot of lazy days for him, just roaming around or staying at home to watch movies. Part of him did miss the times with the Winchesters and the Batfamily, blowin shit up and getting into trouble. But the rest of him was quite happy to have dinner on the table for Zoe when she got home, cuddling with her in the evenings.

Though she was still working hard at her job at Wayne, as well as continuing to be the Bat. He just hadn't had to heal her up recently.

It wasn't very often these days that Jesse even felt very godlike. He felt like a regular man. Though he did use his powers to clear out the cigarette smell from the apartment before Zoe got home so that she didn't know he smoked inside.

He was watching the City's version of COPS when he heard Zoe's approach.

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warrior_woman
2016-03-22 08:20 pm UTC (link)

"Dinner is ready. Michonne has tonight's patrol." Zoe'd opted for something a little less business like. The kimono hung loosely at her shoulders, drooping a bit in the back, the front opening dangerously low. Her hands played over the delicately embroidered material.

"Come eat." She rested a hand on the back of the couch. She didn't look down at the cowboy god, her eyes on the tv. She did indeed look as if she was judging the police on the screen. They weren't doing anything at all useful; they looked like one of those grindstone? Lime stone? One of those strange little ridiculous cop chases with happy quirky music.

By now, Jesse probably knew that something was on the warrior woman's mind. Perhaps. Then again, she could simply want to ignore that she had a new soldier out in the world, and she wanted to be there with Michonne. Perhaps that was all it was. It certainly gave Zoe something else to focus on at times.

"Let's eat." The dinner wasn't very fancy. Just noodles with some veg and soup. Quick and simple.

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cowboy_god
2016-03-24 09:19 pm UTC (link)

"She holdin her own out there?" Jesse said, standing up. He was glad that Zoe had a second in the Bat department of her life. Somebody who could take some of that strain off of her and let her have some nights where she got to be a kind-of normal woman. Somebody who could fight by her side if needed. He'd seen a lot of workings of the Batfamily, and he knew that it was better for all with more bodies.

And it was kind of interesting to see Zoe build her family from scratch.

He got to the table and sat down, allowing her to do the same thing before even thinking of opening his mouth. He'd let her answer and talk about Michonne a bit first before he delved into whatever else was going on.

"She learnin fast, too?"

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warrior_woman
2016-03-25 08:03 pm UTC (link)

Zoe settled into her spot. It was strange that she would have a spot at a table with a man that wasn't from the Serenity. Strange yet comforting. She looked down at the food before picking up the chopsticks that were definitely hers. She had a set; he had a set. He also had fork, spoon, knife. The particular beer was went with the dinner, and there was water in a pitcher as well. It was a nice setting.

"Mmm?" She'd been thinking of a third or fourth setting, with smaller plates and chopsticks. They would definitely use chopsticks. "Yes. She came premade, I guess. Just had to refine a little here and there, but she needed purpose, like I did. Guess I still do." Now she had Michonne to share it with, another woman who'd lost and found in weird ways.

"Sorry, dinner's ..." She motioned to the table. She usually didn't care. There were times food was just food, keeping her running. Other times it was home, comfort. Tonight it was a distraction from a reality.

"Maybe next time you'll make chili?" She didn't mind spicy food, and she'd been working on biscuits to go with heartier meals. She'd even thought of making pies. She probably should have made a good country dinner for tonight, that would have been better, made things easier?

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cowboy_god
2016-03-29 07:09 pm UTC (link)

"I'm glad." Jesse ate his food, but mostly kept his gaze on Zoe. She seemed more than a little off tonight, and he felt like it wasn't just work or Bat stuff.

He smiled a little. "Of course I'll make ya some chili." Already, Jesse was planning a whole meal in his head around the chili.

"Alright, Zo. Yer gonna have to spill it, now. What's goin on in that pretty head of yours? Somethin's weighin ya down."

He couldn't wait longer to ask. He'd thought he'd bring it up after the meal, but this seemed too serious to let linger for that long.

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warrior_woman
2016-04-19 09:20 pm UTC (link)

Zoe had eaten her food. She'd been through must worse, or that was what she told herself, so she could eat. She didn't taste whatever she was eating; she just went through the motions. She had to eat; not eating wasn't at all an option, without being the only option.

She blinked, pulled to the moment, the here and now. The warrior hadn't been expecting the direct question. Oddly, she wasn't sure how she would have started without it. She took another sip of water, ignoring alcohol for now.

"I don't know why I've been sitting on this for so long. Surprised the City didn't step in, or maybe it did. Guess I thought if I didn't talk about it..." She sighed. "I know you've got history, Jesse. I know things have happened." She wanted to hit something. She'd rather act than talk, partly because she didn't always have the words she wanted to use.

"When the Joker did what he did to the Bat, back in the asylum." That was when everything clicked; she could have kicked herself. Jesse had healed her, and she didn't want him to think she blamed him for what came next. She wasn't even sure she blamed the Joker. It was simply all collateral damage.

"I can't have children." Zoe didn't feel like a failure. She just felt incomplete at times. Hell, she wasn't even sure she wanted them, not now anyway. She just felt he had to know.

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cowboy_god
2016-04-19 10:53 pm UTC (link)

The sadness in her was more than Jesse could take. He stood up from his seat and moved around the table to where Zoe was, kneeling down by her. He wasn't sure if she even noticed that he wasn't sitting in front of her anymore.

He remembered the incident very clearly, how could he not? It had terrified him and led him down the path to be angry enough to act out. To step in where he'd never stepped in, to interfere in something that he might have normally allowed the City to sort out.

"Oh, Zoe." Jesse sighed. He'd been down this road, not the not being able to have road, but the having. He'd been happy and simultaneously unsure if they should be even having a kid in this place... and that had been taken care of in a way that he hadn't wanted either.

"How'd you find out?"

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warrior_woman
2016-04-20 12:23 am UTC (link)

Zoe's hand lifted on instinct to brush fingers through his hair. Jesse was someone she could touch without feeling like she was letting the world know her biggest secret - she was just a woman who wanted to be looked after sometimes. She looked down at him finally.

"Went in for a check up. Alfred schedules them regularly enough. I might have a cowboy god at my beckon call, but you know Alfred." Her hand rested on Jesse's shoulder and squeezed.

"Something wasn't right. Went in for more tests. I didn't know how I should tell you or if I should. We'd never talked about having children, and I don't know that I'd want to have any here. Not now." She was the Bat after all. The Bat didn't have children; it just didn't work. Or she didn't think it would.

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cowboy_god
2016-04-20 06:11 pm UTC (link)

The hand in his hair felt almost like she was trying to comfort him, and it made him a little sadder. Maybe that wasn't her intent, he didn't know her mind. And had promised, he was sure, that he'd never do that.

"No, we ain't talked about it at all." He shook his head. "But yer right in that thought, now and here might not be right. The City ain't a place I see as fit for raisin' a little one. If we were someplace else, I'd love to have a baby with you, darlin'. Know that as fact. If we were someplace else, maybe we could have a little house, and boring lives, maybe there'd be a weddin chapel and a party. A little family."

Jesse didn't know if he should be saying all of this. He didn't even know if it was something that Zoe would ever want, or had ever thought of. But he was saying it, and unless he was going to erase her memory of the last few moments, there was no taking it back.

"That said, I know it's a mighty difficult thing to have taken away from you. To not have any kind of choice in the matter, no say. I'm here for ya, sweetheart, however you need me to be."

Even if that thing was to heal her up, which he was sure he could do. She'd have to ask though. That was not a thing he was going to step in and do without permission like he'd done for her other healings.

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warrior_woman
2016-04-20 09:06 pm UTC (link)

Zoe wasn't expecting to hear that from him. She did her best to not expect anything from Jesse, not because she thought he'd disappoint her but because they worked better when there were no expectations. Her brows furrowed, and her lips pursed. He didn't have to say those things. He didn't have to say any of it, nor did he have to offer.

"You'd want that?" She didn't ask if he did at that moment. No, it was more a possibility, if they weren't here in this place, at this time, doing what they do. She leaned over and pressed a kiss to his lips.

"I'd want that, too. If things were different." If things were different, she would be somewhere else in some other time. Just at that moment it didn't matter. She was sure that if she was somewhere else, she'd somehow find a guy like Jesse. She'd found a Wash, and oddly Jesse wasn't all that different from the pilot. Just enough to be a different man.

"I just thought...I guess I needed to share it, not to fix it, just tell someone who would care?" She supposed that was it. She needed to share with him.

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cowboy_god
2016-04-21 05:00 pm UTC (link)

His hand went to her hair and brushed it away from her face. He tugged on a stray curl before tucking it behind her ear. This was a woman he loved, and would do anything for. If they got separated now, if the City sent them back home, he'd scour the universe looking for her, extending his powers to the absolute extreme to make sure that they were together.

He didn't say it out loud, though.

"If yer gonna tell anyone, it should be me, darlin. I'm here for ya, I'm yer man. I will always care what's goin on with you. Always."

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