Tweak

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Tweak says, "It’s him! Our teen stalker!"

Rose Tyler (by_any_other) wrote in we_coexist,
@ 2015-06-22 22:49:00

Entry tags:

matt murdock, rose tyler, zz:status complete

Afterimage (Matt)
There was no excuse for it.

Rose knew better, and was trying to hide it from everyone, even from herself. But today...

The sun was bright, the air was clean, and there was something about the City streets today that made her want to run -- run, the way she used to run, hand clasped in long fingers, laughing all the way (even when there was something chasing them). She missed it. She couldn't bring herself to even think the rest of the thought (she missed him), because missing the running was quite enough.

It could have been the season. The body kept a time all on its own. This would have been around the time of year when she'd last seen The Doctor. Not his copy, and not the older one that came after him, but her Doctor. She didn't want to miss him. She didn't want to even think about him. So she thought about the running, when she admitted to thinking about anything other than the work in front of her at all. She thought about the running.

And that's why she'd frozen between file cabinets, her hands full of hanging manilla folders, as if she'd forgotten why she was standing there at all. How long? She shook herself and opened the file cabinet, riffling through the listings with an elbow.

"One of these days, we should move all these paper files into an electronic format," she said, trying to be cheerful. Her voice was too bright. She screwed on a smile and nudged the first file cabinet closed, then moved to the second to finish filing what was in her arms.

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ablinddevil
2015-06-24 03:44 am UTC (link)

Matt nodded at Rose's reply about being able to handle the folders. He continued to hold her long after her forehead had left the skin of his neck, patient while she filed the last of the folders in her arms. She Corel have asked anything from him and he would have given her every word. And yet she seemed so distant. It was strange.

He figured that if it was something big she would tell him, so he left her be. He didn't want to push her, he knew she would come to him if she needed to talk about something. Anything. Listening was one of his better qualities.

His arms stayed around her waist when she turned to face him and he shook his head at her in response. "Nothing more than ordering us some lunch. Sound good to you? Whatever you want." He could have eaten orange chicken every single day if that was what she wanted. He loved her more than she knew.

Matt pressed a kiss against her lips, chaste but sweet, and then released her so she could move if she chose to. He didn't have much work to do, not like before the trial, so his scheduled was unusually flexible as of late.

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by_any_other
2015-06-29 02:51 am UTC (link)

It was easy in moments like this to forget that Matt couldn't see her - not really. His easy confidence around her made her forget, especially when he kissed her so readily. She liked that. It was something she'd never hoped for, with the Doctor; it'd seemed impossible. Even when she came back for him, he still didn't...

Rose jerked her thoughts back and shook her head. "Lunch, yeh, that sounds good. How's a salad sound?" She moved as if to head toward his desk - and the phone - but then stopped and went back to him again. After only a second's hesitation, she stepped between his feet and wrapped her arms around his waist. Her head rested on his chest and she closed her eyes.

Something told her she didn't have to tell him that she wasn't okay. But would he press her? She didn't think he would, and she was grateful for that. There was really nothing to say.

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ablinddevil
2015-06-29 02:57 am UTC (link)

Holding Rose in his arms made him feel more complete than he could ever truly explain to her in words. She drew him, like a moon orbiting its planet due to gravity and he welcomed any opportunity presented in which they could be in such close proximity. Every second he cherished that he could spend together with her, even if they were very small moments.

"Salad is fine. Whatever you want..." Matt replied. The usual was orange chicken, a favorite of hers, and even if they had it every single day he would never tell her no. But it was nice to change it up now and again. "There's a good place not too far from here...I could call something in?"

As she moved away Matt let her, but it wasn't but a few seconds and she was back in his grasp again. Her head made a light pressure against his chest and he smiled as he wrapped her in his arms. Something was bothering her but he wouldn't make her tell him. He couldn't. It would only push her away and so he didn't ask about it. He just let the comfortable silence ebb and he continued to hold her as long as she would let him.

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by_any_other
2015-06-30 02:39 am UTC (link)

Sometimes it felt like the mess in her heart would never get sorted out. Sometimes she felt like she was drowning in it. She couldn't rightly tell Matt without feeling like an utter heel. She was happy with him, and she was pretty sure he was happy with her, too. It should have been perfect. The only reason it wasn't was because of her. That stung. She felt... less. She felt like she was the thing that was wrong with them. It didn't help that she couldn't even blame the Doctor for it. The Doctor had always been clear, when she looked back. He'd always told her they never had a chance. That hadn't stopped her then, and even now, when there was no chance at all, she still did a double-take when she saw someone on the street wearing a long brown coat.

"Yeh," she said, something of an agreement, but she didn't let go of him to let him make the call. After a few minutes, she finally sighed. "Don't suppose we could just go home?" she tried, thinking it was rather irresponsible. But filing and shuffling papers around today made her feel like she was slowly dying. There should've been something else to do, something meaningful.

That was the other thing that life with the Doctor did. Everything was an adrenaline high, everything was life or death, and anything that wasn't just seemed... pale. Insignificant. And, after a while, that's how she began to feel, too.

"Or we could go out instead," she added, her voice somewhat muffled. "How awful would that be?"

The guilt for even suggesting it was beginning to set in. He had an important job. It was only Rose Tyler, shop girl, who didn't.

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ablinddevil
2015-06-30 03:09 am UTC (link)

As Rose made no move to release him to make the call for lunch, Matt didn't let go of her either. She was far too important to allow to move just then, pending whatever might come over the telephone or not. Rose was far above filing paperwork and he knew it. But she had not the licensure of carrying the firm. But she could have the vacant office next door, the one he had so foolishly offered to Laurel in hopes that he wouldn't have to represent the underbelly of the City.

Maybe that was a step forward, at least.

"Mister Murdock," came Paulina over the intercom, "There is a Mister Nashton on the telephone for you."

Matt felt like swearing.

He held Rose instead, as if she had gotten her answer. "Why don't you take over the empty office next door? I can train you to be a lawyer, to pass your Bar Exam. It's hard, but you can do it. I love you."

With that he reluctantly released Rose and turned to head to his desk.

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by_any_other
2015-06-30 03:51 am UTC (link)

Paulina's message to Matt had Rose immediately scowling. It wasn't that Matt stepped away to answer that criminal's call. It was the fact that Nashton was calling at all. Their business had concluded. He had no right to call again. Matt wasn't beholden to him.

Rose nearly sprinted across the office to disconnect the call. She detested Nashton. The man was oily and gave her the willies. And she detested that Matt had been forced to do what he'd done at the trial. And maybe, just a little, she was angry that Nashton had forestalled any hope of sneaking out of the office a little bit early today. Well. A lot early.

It was petty, that last part, and she knew it. With a sigh, she headed out of Matt's office to let him take his call, and to explore the office he offered her moments ago. She wasn't sure if she was cut out to be a lawyer - she was sure she wasn't cut out for studying - but she would think about it.

She'd also order that salad, but only after asking Paulina what she wanted.

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ablinddevil
2015-06-30 03:59 am UTC (link)

She...she hadn't returned it. Well, that was alright he supposed. The heat of the moment had gone as quickly as it had come and so Matt had released Rose to do as she pleased so he could conduct his business. Not that he wanted anything more to do with Nashton. He had been there as his legal representation as a witness in the burial and identification of his daughter. And he had hoped, at that point, he had been done with the whole ordeal.

Apparently he had been wrong.

A sigh and Matt returned to his desk. "Thank you, Paulina," Matt breathed.

He took the call but it wasn't to set an appointment. Which he was grateful for. It was merely to make sure that Nashton's affairs were set in order in the event of his death. That was strange but not odd. He had taken calls like that before.

It wasn't too long before Matt was off of the phone and double-checking the documents on his computer to ensure the things were taken care of. They were, of course.

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by_any_other
2015-06-30 04:46 am UTC (link)

A lawyer.

Rose sat behind the desk of what had once been Laurel Lance's office, and Foggy Nelson's before that - though she hadn't known him but by name. She sat, arranging and rearranging the office supplies left neatly on the desktop, and tried to get used to the idea of being a lawyer.

Perhaps 23 minutes wasn't enough time to decide if the idea fit, but by the time lunch rang in, she still hadn't warmed to the idea. She wanted to be here, yes, but it wasn't because of the work that she did, or even that she might do in the future. It was because she wanted to help Matt. And, more selfishly, she wanted to be around him.

That wasn't bad, in and of itself. It made sense. But it also meant that she was a glorified secretary in an office where there was already a quite capable secretary. Rose left Paulina with her salad and chocolate chip cookie, then took lunch into Matt's office.

When she shut the door, she smiled to see him behind his desk. He looked so... What was the word. He fit here, and he fit well. But she...

She fit well with him, at least she thought so. But she didn't fit so well here.

"Paulina was glad to order a cookie and a salad at the same time," Rose said, and this time, the cheer in her voice wasn't nearly as forced as it had been before. "I think she's a pretty smart woman, Matt. You should hire her."

Rose went about setting lunch out for the two of them, but just before she retreated to her chair, she paused beside him and brushed her lips across his forehead. She'd told him once before that she loved him, but only once. The words came hard for her - through no fault of his.

She needed to change that. More than putting her hands to something other than filing, she needed to change that. The words still clogged up in her throat when she tried this time, but she tried. She almost made it. Instead, she retreated to the other side of his desk and began pulling the lid off her casesar salad.

"I'm not sure I'll be the best lawyer," she admitted, after crunching through a forkful of lettuce.

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ablinddevil
2015-06-30 09:57 pm UTC (link)

Perhaps Matt tried a bit too eagerly to try to expand Rose's ideals that she could be anything she set her mind to be. A lawyer, a glorified secretary, anything she set her mind to and though maybe he did shoot for the stars he hoped she knew it was because he believed in her potential to do great things. She wasn't a pencil pusher, a desk monkey or a secretary. Rose was whatever she wanted to be, Matt had simply offered her the opportunity. If she found something outside of the firm she liked better then Matt wouldn't hesitate to encourage her.

When the door opened and then breezed shut, Matt smiled. He didn't even have to look up to know it was Rose, she had a familiar scent he could catch a mile away.

He did turn to look up at her as she approached him and happily ignored whatever was on his computer in favor of her company. Her lips on his skin was welcome and he breathed out a sigh of relief.

The lunch she had set out smelled wonderful, he caught the bits of kale and the aroma of the dressing. But they had something more to discuss before he would be ready to eat. She was right, she wouldn't be the best lawyer. "What would you like to do? Beyond here?" Matt asked kindly. He figured her interests might lie someplace else and he didn't want to stifle her. There was also another question he had for her but it could wait.

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by_any_other
2015-07-02 02:55 am UTC (link)

Rose kept chewing as he asked, and couldn't help the response that came as soon as she swallowed: "I dunno. Defender of the Earth?"

It was only partially a joke. She'd gotten used to that. Dino Island wasn't much different, only the survival she was helping to assure was done in different ways - and she wasn't quite so alone - and she didn't have to chase down her Doctor. The Meta Crisis had been there at first, as well, and... well, neither of her island relationships with the Doctor, clone or otherwise, had gone smoothly. But they'd certainly distracted her from the question Matt was asking her now.

She still hadn't answered it for herself, much less anyone else.

"I want to help people," she confessed. "I got so used to it, and it... it feels right. After the... Well. There was so much of that, before dino island. It kinda makes everything else you could be doing with your time seem..." She eyed the stack of files on the corner of Matt's desk. "Well, a little flat. Does that make sense?"

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ablinddevil
2015-07-02 04:43 am UTC (link)

Matt chuckled softly at her joke, amused. Defender of Earth. Well, if there was one phrase to sum up Rose Tyler it was that in a nutshell. Finding that in oneself, though, was harder than it appeared. He knew that from experience, not everyone was fortunate to know exactly what path they were supposed to walk, or what the direction was for their life.

He listened to her. Honestly listened.

"I think you should follow your heart, Rose. I think you should do what makes you happy. If its not this, then you shouldn't be here. Not that I don't want you to be here but I want you to be happy with the path that your life is taking. If this isn't the thing, then maybe you should find whatever it is you need."

There was a moment of hesitation at the next part, a small pause in the train of thought he had been coasting on. It wasn't because he was afraid to tell her what was on his mind, he knew he could tell her anything. But he didn't want to seem pushy or crowding either.

Well. There was no time like the present and maybe it would make finding a new job easier for her, "I was thinking that...maybe at some point soon we could talk about moving in together?"

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by_any_other
2015-07-03 02:29 am UTC (link)

It was kind for him to say she should do what would make her happy, especially after she knew what she was saying before basically meant she didn't really want to work here anymore. She wanted to be with him... but... Well. It was a relief to know that he wasn't upset with her. She didn't want him to think she wasn't grateful.

Just as she sucked the dressing off the plastic tines of her fork, he started talking about moving in together. She promptly forgot how to pull air into her lungs.

A second later, and she was trying to talk around the fork. That didn't last long. She speared it back into the lettuce and leaned forward.

"Wot, like... to... You mean... Do you mean talking about it soon, or do you mean doing it soon?"

She didn't want to sound like an idiot. She just wasn't expecting this, at all. It wasn't bad. It was... Wow, it was actually... It was good. It was REALLY good. But she'd never lived with anyone before, not really like what he was suggesting.

She had five million questions all at the same time, and she had to choke them down, because ... really.. was he talking about talking ... or doing?

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ablinddevil
2015-07-03 02:35 am UTC (link)

"Well, I was hoping that we could soon," Matt replied thoughtfully. He figured that was the easiest path to take for the both of them, guaranteeing that they could see each other at the end of the day despite of where the daylight hours had taken them. And since he wasn't on night patrol he figured crawling into their bed instead of his had a warmer feeling to it.

"You know...if you want and all..." Matt had bated the water with his lure tempting her to see how she would respond. He could hear the flutter of her heart but it didn't seem to be beating rapidly with anger or shame. He took that as a good sign.

And it would be easier for her to let go of the firm and move on to something that made her happy, and still have an anchor in her life. He needed her just as much as she needed him.

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by_any_other
2015-07-07 02:17 am UTC (link)

A laugh bubbled out of her before she got it under control. If she wanted to? Rose had weaned herself off the idea of domestic some time ago. That didn't mean that she didn't want it. She did. But the possibility of it... she'd set it aside in her head, and hadn't ever reconsidered. Now Matt was offering it as if he didn't know she...

Well, why would he know? She hadn't told him. There was so much she hadn't told him. That realization sobered her up. She really needed to do better.

"Yes," she said. "I want."

The obvious answer was for her to move in with him. He knew his apartment layout well enough, and it only seemed fair.

"When were you thinking?" she asked, trying to come off as casual, when inside her chest, her heart was doing flipflops.

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ablinddevil
2015-07-07 04:18 am UTC (link)

Her laughter was curious but the tone in which it had left her lips was almost musical in nature. Coupled with the flutter of her heart....Matt knew he had asked the correct question. He didn't want to seem overly eager about in in case she hadn't wanted to, but the outcome was pleasing and he was relieved that she was on the same page.

"I figured we could decide who's moving where and then go from there. That seems like a good first step, right?" Equality was always better.

"Of course, you are more than welcome to move in with me, you already know the layout of the place and incorporating your stuff with mine already sounds delightful. But I'm more than happy to carry my box of stuff to you and work from there..." He would let her pick but he had a feeling she had already decided well before he posed the question to her.

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by_any_other
2015-07-09 12:52 am UTC (link)

"Well," she said, shifting in her chair. It seemed strange to be talking about this as if it were any other day, as if it were a normal conversation. She didn't feel normal. She felt... she didn't know how to name it. Her stomach fluttered and she didn't want to eat anything else because of it. But there was this strange driving urgency, too, a push toward more of whatever this was.

"Well, it might be easier if I..." She swallowed. "I'm a bit of a mess," she said and laughed at herself. "Maybe it'd be better if I left most of my things at my place and just moved the essentials to yours. That way, I won't be able to make that much of a mess at your place."

She paused, then asked because she needed to: "Are you sure you want this?"

She was a mess in many different ways, not just because she forgot to pick up her things. She hadn't told him this, but she knew that he knew at least this much about her. He knew she struggled with feeling... right sometimes. There had always been that hole in her chest, the one that made it hard for her to tell him what she felt, the one that had been eating at her today. He had to know some of this. And he still wanted her to move in? It didn't seem very likely. Matt was a smart man.

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ablinddevil
2015-07-09 02:05 am UTC (link)

Matt smiled warmly at Rose as she stumbled through her words.

The fact that she hesitated, the times she never told him how she was feeling...he picked up on it. It wasn't that she couldn't hide from him, she could and she did; the details all were up to her to divulge when she was ready and for him not to press her about, but he could hear her heart pick up in rhythm during those moments. Something about the way her breath caught in her lungs and throat...

He was a smart man indeed.

"I like that you're messy," Matt replied, turning his hazy eyes on her patiently.

"I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't completely sure." He lifted a hand into the pocket of his coat, and fumbled about for a moment. Licking over his lips, Matt's eyes fell just a touch as he prodded about in his pocket. When he had what he wanted, he smiled and pulled out the spare to his place. He offered it to Rose, "Here. When you're ready to bring the essentials I'll have a place ready for them." She could bring as much or as little as she wanted. He wanted it to be their place, not his and hers.

Maybe after a while they could find a new place that truly could be their own, a co-mingling of both of their things. But that seemed like too much just now. This would work for the time being, and now she was free to persue other things, other opportunities to be happy. And still be able to see him regularly.

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by_any_other
2015-07-13 01:52 am UTC (link)

Her heart staggered and skipped as he extended his hand to give her a key. She remembered the last time someone gave her a key. Then, like now, he'd searched his pocket briefly, eyes cast down as if solving a puzzle, and then the smile as he held out his hand. Only Matt hadn't given it to her as if it were an afterthought. Her heart ached, though she couldn't have said right then if it were a good or a bad thing. Setting her salad aside she half-stood from her chair and reached over his desk to take the key.

When she settled back down into her chair again, both sets of fingertips holding onto the sides of this simple apartment key, she remembered to breathe again. A breath gusted out of her and back in again. "Right," she said. Then, as if to herself, she said the word again.

The next minute, she leaned forward and set the key carefully on the edge of the desk. Ducking her head a little, she pulled the chain from around her neck and unfastened the clasp. There was another key, a key that had stopped growing warm some time ago. She un-threaded it and traded Matt's key into its place. It hurt. It really hurt to do that. Shoving the TARDIS key into her front jeans pocket, she stood from the chair again.

"How about I see you there tonight?" she asked him.

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ablinddevil
2015-07-13 03:20 am UTC (link)

Every palpation of her heart he could hear, each rhythmic pulse and quiver. Matt couldn't place exactly what she was feeling, it could really have gone either way but he knew she wouldn't have accepted the key if she truly hadn't wanted it. So when he felt the if of her fingers against the small scrap of metal, he let it go and settled easily in to the chair.

The shuffle, the rustle of her clothes and the faint clip of the metallic key being pressed against the wood of his desk...

All such strange sounds. He could see every motion of her fingers, and the key that came from beneath the collar of her shirt. The key Matt had noticed before and had never asked about. When she stood, he nodded and smiled, "I'll be waiting patiently." It was a promise he intended to keep.

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by_any_other
2015-07-14 04:02 am UTC (link)

Before she left, she walked around to where he sat and kissed his forehead, threading her fingers in his hair.

"I..."

She took a breath and kissed his forehead quickly. Then the whisper came - a confession, in words too fragile to speak out loud. "I love you."

And without waiting for an answer, she hurried out. A new life was waiting, and she had determined to seize it. To hold on tightly.

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