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Tweak says, "toolbelt of love"

Rose Tyler (by_any_other) wrote in we_coexist,
@ 2015-06-22 22:49:00

Entry tags:

matt murdock, rose tyler, zz:status complete

Afterimage (Matt)
There was no excuse for it.

Rose knew better, and was trying to hide it from everyone, even from herself. But today...

The sun was bright, the air was clean, and there was something about the City streets today that made her want to run -- run, the way she used to run, hand clasped in long fingers, laughing all the way (even when there was something chasing them). She missed it. She couldn't bring herself to even think the rest of the thought (she missed him), because missing the running was quite enough.

It could have been the season. The body kept a time all on its own. This would have been around the time of year when she'd last seen The Doctor. Not his copy, and not the older one that came after him, but her Doctor. She didn't want to miss him. She didn't want to even think about him. So she thought about the running, when she admitted to thinking about anything other than the work in front of her at all. She thought about the running.

And that's why she'd frozen between file cabinets, her hands full of hanging manilla folders, as if she'd forgotten why she was standing there at all. How long? She shook herself and opened the file cabinet, riffling through the listings with an elbow.

"One of these days, we should move all these paper files into an electronic format," she said, trying to be cheerful. Her voice was too bright. She screwed on a smile and nudged the first file cabinet closed, then moved to the second to finish filing what was in her arms.

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by_any_other
2015-07-02 02:55 am UTC (link)

Rose kept chewing as he asked, and couldn't help the response that came as soon as she swallowed: "I dunno. Defender of the Earth?"

It was only partially a joke. She'd gotten used to that. Dino Island wasn't much different, only the survival she was helping to assure was done in different ways - and she wasn't quite so alone - and she didn't have to chase down her Doctor. The Meta Crisis had been there at first, as well, and... well, neither of her island relationships with the Doctor, clone or otherwise, had gone smoothly. But they'd certainly distracted her from the question Matt was asking her now.

She still hadn't answered it for herself, much less anyone else.

"I want to help people," she confessed. "I got so used to it, and it... it feels right. After the... Well. There was so much of that, before dino island. It kinda makes everything else you could be doing with your time seem..." She eyed the stack of files on the corner of Matt's desk. "Well, a little flat. Does that make sense?"

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ablinddevil
2015-07-02 04:43 am UTC (link)

Matt chuckled softly at her joke, amused. Defender of Earth. Well, if there was one phrase to sum up Rose Tyler it was that in a nutshell. Finding that in oneself, though, was harder than it appeared. He knew that from experience, not everyone was fortunate to know exactly what path they were supposed to walk, or what the direction was for their life.

He listened to her. Honestly listened.

"I think you should follow your heart, Rose. I think you should do what makes you happy. If its not this, then you shouldn't be here. Not that I don't want you to be here but I want you to be happy with the path that your life is taking. If this isn't the thing, then maybe you should find whatever it is you need."

There was a moment of hesitation at the next part, a small pause in the train of thought he had been coasting on. It wasn't because he was afraid to tell her what was on his mind, he knew he could tell her anything. But he didn't want to seem pushy or crowding either.

Well. There was no time like the present and maybe it would make finding a new job easier for her, "I was thinking that...maybe at some point soon we could talk about moving in together?"

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by_any_other
2015-07-03 02:29 am UTC (link)

It was kind for him to say she should do what would make her happy, especially after she knew what she was saying before basically meant she didn't really want to work here anymore. She wanted to be with him... but... Well. It was a relief to know that he wasn't upset with her. She didn't want him to think she wasn't grateful.

Just as she sucked the dressing off the plastic tines of her fork, he started talking about moving in together. She promptly forgot how to pull air into her lungs.

A second later, and she was trying to talk around the fork. That didn't last long. She speared it back into the lettuce and leaned forward.

"Wot, like... to... You mean... Do you mean talking about it soon, or do you mean doing it soon?"

She didn't want to sound like an idiot. She just wasn't expecting this, at all. It wasn't bad. It was... Wow, it was actually... It was good. It was REALLY good. But she'd never lived with anyone before, not really like what he was suggesting.

She had five million questions all at the same time, and she had to choke them down, because ... really.. was he talking about talking ... or doing?

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ablinddevil
2015-07-03 02:35 am UTC (link)

"Well, I was hoping that we could soon," Matt replied thoughtfully. He figured that was the easiest path to take for the both of them, guaranteeing that they could see each other at the end of the day despite of where the daylight hours had taken them. And since he wasn't on night patrol he figured crawling into their bed instead of his had a warmer feeling to it.

"You know...if you want and all..." Matt had bated the water with his lure tempting her to see how she would respond. He could hear the flutter of her heart but it didn't seem to be beating rapidly with anger or shame. He took that as a good sign.

And it would be easier for her to let go of the firm and move on to something that made her happy, and still have an anchor in her life. He needed her just as much as she needed him.

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by_any_other
2015-07-07 02:17 am UTC (link)

A laugh bubbled out of her before she got it under control. If she wanted to? Rose had weaned herself off the idea of domestic some time ago. That didn't mean that she didn't want it. She did. But the possibility of it... she'd set it aside in her head, and hadn't ever reconsidered. Now Matt was offering it as if he didn't know she...

Well, why would he know? She hadn't told him. There was so much she hadn't told him. That realization sobered her up. She really needed to do better.

"Yes," she said. "I want."

The obvious answer was for her to move in with him. He knew his apartment layout well enough, and it only seemed fair.

"When were you thinking?" she asked, trying to come off as casual, when inside her chest, her heart was doing flipflops.

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ablinddevil
2015-07-07 04:18 am UTC (link)

Her laughter was curious but the tone in which it had left her lips was almost musical in nature. Coupled with the flutter of her heart....Matt knew he had asked the correct question. He didn't want to seem overly eager about in in case she hadn't wanted to, but the outcome was pleasing and he was relieved that she was on the same page.

"I figured we could decide who's moving where and then go from there. That seems like a good first step, right?" Equality was always better.

"Of course, you are more than welcome to move in with me, you already know the layout of the place and incorporating your stuff with mine already sounds delightful. But I'm more than happy to carry my box of stuff to you and work from there..." He would let her pick but he had a feeling she had already decided well before he posed the question to her.

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by_any_other
2015-07-09 12:52 am UTC (link)

"Well," she said, shifting in her chair. It seemed strange to be talking about this as if it were any other day, as if it were a normal conversation. She didn't feel normal. She felt... she didn't know how to name it. Her stomach fluttered and she didn't want to eat anything else because of it. But there was this strange driving urgency, too, a push toward more of whatever this was.

"Well, it might be easier if I..." She swallowed. "I'm a bit of a mess," she said and laughed at herself. "Maybe it'd be better if I left most of my things at my place and just moved the essentials to yours. That way, I won't be able to make that much of a mess at your place."

She paused, then asked because she needed to: "Are you sure you want this?"

She was a mess in many different ways, not just because she forgot to pick up her things. She hadn't told him this, but she knew that he knew at least this much about her. He knew she struggled with feeling... right sometimes. There had always been that hole in her chest, the one that made it hard for her to tell him what she felt, the one that had been eating at her today. He had to know some of this. And he still wanted her to move in? It didn't seem very likely. Matt was a smart man.

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ablinddevil
2015-07-09 02:05 am UTC (link)

Matt smiled warmly at Rose as she stumbled through her words.

The fact that she hesitated, the times she never told him how she was feeling...he picked up on it. It wasn't that she couldn't hide from him, she could and she did; the details all were up to her to divulge when she was ready and for him not to press her about, but he could hear her heart pick up in rhythm during those moments. Something about the way her breath caught in her lungs and throat...

He was a smart man indeed.

"I like that you're messy," Matt replied, turning his hazy eyes on her patiently.

"I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't completely sure." He lifted a hand into the pocket of his coat, and fumbled about for a moment. Licking over his lips, Matt's eyes fell just a touch as he prodded about in his pocket. When he had what he wanted, he smiled and pulled out the spare to his place. He offered it to Rose, "Here. When you're ready to bring the essentials I'll have a place ready for them." She could bring as much or as little as she wanted. He wanted it to be their place, not his and hers.

Maybe after a while they could find a new place that truly could be their own, a co-mingling of both of their things. But that seemed like too much just now. This would work for the time being, and now she was free to persue other things, other opportunities to be happy. And still be able to see him regularly.

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by_any_other
2015-07-13 01:52 am UTC (link)

Her heart staggered and skipped as he extended his hand to give her a key. She remembered the last time someone gave her a key. Then, like now, he'd searched his pocket briefly, eyes cast down as if solving a puzzle, and then the smile as he held out his hand. Only Matt hadn't given it to her as if it were an afterthought. Her heart ached, though she couldn't have said right then if it were a good or a bad thing. Setting her salad aside she half-stood from her chair and reached over his desk to take the key.

When she settled back down into her chair again, both sets of fingertips holding onto the sides of this simple apartment key, she remembered to breathe again. A breath gusted out of her and back in again. "Right," she said. Then, as if to herself, she said the word again.

The next minute, she leaned forward and set the key carefully on the edge of the desk. Ducking her head a little, she pulled the chain from around her neck and unfastened the clasp. There was another key, a key that had stopped growing warm some time ago. She un-threaded it and traded Matt's key into its place. It hurt. It really hurt to do that. Shoving the TARDIS key into her front jeans pocket, she stood from the chair again.

"How about I see you there tonight?" she asked him.

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ablinddevil
2015-07-13 03:20 am UTC (link)

Every palpation of her heart he could hear, each rhythmic pulse and quiver. Matt couldn't place exactly what she was feeling, it could really have gone either way but he knew she wouldn't have accepted the key if she truly hadn't wanted it. So when he felt the if of her fingers against the small scrap of metal, he let it go and settled easily in to the chair.

The shuffle, the rustle of her clothes and the faint clip of the metallic key being pressed against the wood of his desk...

All such strange sounds. He could see every motion of her fingers, and the key that came from beneath the collar of her shirt. The key Matt had noticed before and had never asked about. When she stood, he nodded and smiled, "I'll be waiting patiently." It was a promise he intended to keep.

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by_any_other
2015-07-14 04:02 am UTC (link)

Before she left, she walked around to where he sat and kissed his forehead, threading her fingers in his hair.

"I..."

She took a breath and kissed his forehead quickly. Then the whisper came - a confession, in words too fragile to speak out loud. "I love you."

And without waiting for an answer, she hurried out. A new life was waiting, and she had determined to seize it. To hold on tightly.

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