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Laurel Lance ([info]i_crylikeabird) wrote in [info]we_coexist,
@ 2011-09-28 22:11:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:dinah lance, harry dresden, karrin murphy

Closure (Open to Murphy and/or Harry)
Dinah hadn't heard from Harry after the storm. She'd left a voicemail, but no answer. She wasn't sure whether to be hurt that he was taking the whole break thing to the extreme of avoiding her this much, or worried that something had happened.

She needed to find a way to move past this. She needed closure, and she needed to just rip off the band-aid, so to speak.

She still had the key to his apartment and the bracelet to get past his wards, though she hadn't been wearing it lately. It was just another reminder of him. She really needed to get that back, as she didn't want to be responsible for it falling into the wrong hands. Wayne Manor might have been relatively safe for the City, but with the types of things that Harry's wards protected against, Dinah doubted the defenses of the manor would help at all with that.

She really hadn't wanted to stop by the apartment. She was a little afraid that dropping by the apartment might just confirm that Murphy was still living there. So she'd tried the office first.

No dice. Apparently it just wasn't her day.

So Dinah steered her car toward Harry's apartment, trying to steel herself against what she might find there.

Maybe it would be better to find Murphy there, she reflected. Maybe it would be better to just confirm that things were really and truly over, instead of the half-waiting for things to somehow work themselves out.

Key and bracelet in hand, Dinah approached the door. She hesitated for just a minute and then knocked.


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[info]i_putontheboots
2011-09-29 06:56 am UTC (link)
Murphy was there, much to her continued... resignation, she supposed, was the overarching theme these days. She didn't even really know why she was still there, anymore. It was only so convenient, sharing such a small space. But she couldn't stay with Dean every night.

She was surprised by the knock again, but it didn't take her long to figure out that it was Dinah. It still puzzled her that the woman didn't use the gifts that Harry had given her, like maybe Dinah didn't want to make herself at home there at all. There were so many things wrong with the picture that it made Murphy's head spin.

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2011-09-29 07:28 am UTC (link)
Even though she had tried to prepare herself for Murphy to answer the door, all the same it was like being kicked in the gut. Dinah did her best to recover quickly and looked Murphy over for a bit.

"So I take it you and Harry made it through the storm all right?"

It was a safe assumption, but it would still be good to hear the words.

Dinah held out the bracelet and key to the other woman.

"I was looking for Harry, but haven't been able to find him. Could you make sure he gets these?"

In slight defense of Harry, it was possible his answering machine or phone had been scrambled and he hadn't gotten the message, as tended to happen around Harry. However, he hadn't exactly seemed to have thought to check on her either.

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[info]i_putontheboots
2011-09-29 03:20 pm UTC (link)
"Yes, fine, unless he's managed to get himself into trouble since..."

Murphy's speculation on what Harry was up to that day trailed off as Dinah pushed the bracelet and key at her. The ex-cop's expression turned from one of puzzlement (at why Dinah still wasn't actually using them), to shock (she hadn't even know the pair were on a break), to realization, and finally back to something that she hoped was vaguely neutral--though it was only years of practice that kept the flash of irritation in check.

Her first impulse was to be angry with Harry, because he was like a big bull's eye. The idiot! He'd orchestrated this situation with his insensitivity, as usual. You idiot, was her second thought, because she had allowed it to happen.

"No, Dinah," she said, stepping back from the door, "I mean, I could, but I really that that would be a blow best delivered in person, don't you?" Even if part of her thought that maybe she should be the one to take the heat for it, since she'd somehow become the wedge between them. "And if this is because of me, then I think I owe you an apology." Because she wasn't so completely lacking in estrogen that she couldn't have seen this coming.

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2011-09-29 10:09 pm UTC (link)
Dinah sighed.

"I agree. I'd rather deliver them in person, which is why I was looking for Harry. But seeing that he hasn't returned my calls, and I haven't seen or heard from him since we decided to take that break a month ago..." she spread her hands out in a gesture of helplessness.

Of course the 'we' was very loosely used. When it came down to it, Dinah had made her feelings clear and walked away. And Harry had let her. He hadn't done anything to apologize or try to make it up to her. He'd just let her go and then practically dropped off the face of the Earth.

"Honestly, I don't know what else to do. I can't keep wearing that bracelet, and I don't want to risk it falling into the hands of, well, any of the things that the wards are meant to keep out."

She wasn't ignoring the apology. She just hadn't been expected it.

"I don't blame you," she offered. "It was Harry's choice to ask you to stay without even asking me how I felt about it, before or after the fact. And it was his choice to bite my head off when I did try to talk to him about it." She bit her lip, realizing this wasn't helping.

"As far as I can tell, the only thing you've done in this situation is the fact that you were in his life first, and you had feelings for him first." She rubbed at her forehead. "I'm pretty sure he thought he'd never see you again when he landed here, so he tried to just fill that void with someone who happened to be here."

Probably the most painful thing was the fact that she and Murphy would probably have gotten along pretty well if they didn't share the same taste in men. She hadn't missed the similarities in everything from personality to looks. It was pretty clear that she'd been the stand-in there.

Dinah waited, hoping that Murphy would just take the key and bracelet so she could leave.

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[info]i_putontheboots
2011-09-29 11:17 pm UTC (link)
Murphy wrestled with herself as Dinah spoke. Should she take it? Should she argue? Should she defend Harry, or empathize with her fellow woman? "I shouldn't have let him talk me into staying," she said finally, "I just...never thought I'd see him again, and I guess part of me wanted to make sure I never let him out of my sight again. To protect him. Harry's an idiot when it comes to women. Always has been. He's got a good heart, and good intentions, but you know what they say about intentions and the road to hell."

She sighed. It was almost like talking to herself in a mirror, right down to the pain she saw in Dinah's eyes. "He chose you, Dinah. I doubt it was his idea to put on the brakes, since he was pretty much oblivious all along, so if he hasn't contacted you, it's because he thinks you want to be left alone, and if you want him to get a clue, you're going to have to smack him upside the head with a road sign. Literally. So you can either sit and wait for him to come back while I go for my job interview; or you can take the easy route, leave those here, and sneak out before either of us get back. Your choice. Just make sure you're not burning any bridges you don't want to burn."

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2011-09-30 12:49 am UTC (link)
Dinah looked at Karrin in surprise. Luckily, she was able to stop herself from voicing that.

She'd been sure that Harry hadn't called because he'd been busy figuring out and acting on his feelings for her. She certainly hadn't expected the other woman to be unaware that they were even on a break, or to insist that Harry had chosen her.

She struggled with the choice. Waiting in his apartment was not something she wanted to do. It felt intrusive, at best. It certainly wasn't something she wanted to do after she'd felt like he'd practically yanked the welcome mat out from under her after Murphy's arrival in the City.

All the same, she wanted to talk. She wanted to at least sort things out so she could have some sense of closure. And if she was being really honest, she'd always been quick to run out when things got rocky in a relationship. She'd done it with Ollie more times than she could count, and it had always hurt when he'd let her. But at the same time, she'd been the one running and it was a bit hypocritical to expect anyone to fight for her when she herself had one foot out the door at the first sign of trouble.

Maybe that was why she'd had such trouble moving on after each break-up. That lack of feeling like she'd tried her damndest to make things work. It was possible that that was why she'd fallen into the pattern of on-again, off-again.

If she stayed and if she at least tried to talk things out, then at least she'd know she tried. She'd know that she gave it a chance. She didn't have all afternoon to wait, but she could certainly wait for a bit she supposed.

She gave the other blond a strained smile.

"Thank you," she said sincerely. She knew that it had to hurt Karrin to see Harry with someone else, and she felt bad putting her in the middle at all. "I think I will wait, if that's all right with you."

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[info]i_putontheboots
2011-09-30 02:49 am UTC (link)
Murphy's just grunted something unintelligible, shrugging off Dinah's thanks. Sure, she'd had the perfect opportunity to let everything fall to pieces and be the one to comfort Harry in the aftermath--but that wasn't the kind of person she was. She loved him, and she didn't want to see him hurt.

"Just...don't mention it," she said, grabbing her purse, and heading toward the door. "You don't need my permission to be here. You've got a key. That makes it just as much your house as mine. He loves you, Dinah. Make yourself at home."

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[info]i_wizard
2011-09-30 09:05 pm UTC (link)
Harry made sure Karrin was out before he went home. It wasn't that he was avoiding anyone, no, he was just keeping irregular hours, and throwing himself into work. Most of his time was spent at the office or in the lab, where he'd put down a few blankets to sleep on.

Mouse was following him constantly. Since that... talk with Jesse, the Foo dog had stuck to Harry's side, complaining loudly if he was left behind - and Mouse could be loud when he wanted to be.

He took down the wards and went inside, not anticipating any company. But when Mouse bounded in, his tail wagging happily, Harry turned and blinked. And then froze, still standing in the threshold, not sure if he was expected to come inside or run away.

He wished he had Molly's skill with veils right now. It would be entirely useful.

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2011-09-30 09:15 pm UTC (link)
Dinah scratched Mouse behind the ears and gave the dog a small smile. She'd missed him.

Once she'd properly greeted Mouse, she stood up and looked at Harry. She didn't miss the deer in headlights look, and she suddenly realized that maybe waiting around to talk to him hadn't been a good idea after all.

"Hi. Um, I stopped by to see you and Murphy said it would be okay if I waited here."

There was a bit of a question in her voice. She would have moved closer to the door, ready to make a hasty exit, but Harry was still hovering, as though he was considering making a quick exit himself.

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[info]i_wizard
2011-09-30 09:20 pm UTC (link)
He blinked again, trying to get a hold of the situation. "Oh. Sure. Uh, yeah, you're welcome here anytime." Then his brain kicked in, and he looked up sharply. "Is everything okay? Is Jake alright?" Damnit, maybe he should have returned a call.

She'd wanted time. He'd been giving it to her. Mostly confused about where it left them now, but if something had happened, he'd go to war in a second.

No use for it. He loved her. He couldn't stand by if something was wrong.

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2011-09-30 09:33 pm UTC (link)
Dinah looked at Harry in surprise when he said she was welcome anything.

"Am I? You made it pretty clear that..." she bit her lip. That wasn't exactly the best thing to lead with.

It did still hurt that she'd considered this place her safe haven, that she'd most likely stepped over the boundaries of their relationship while Jake was missing because she just needed somewhere safe to go that didn't have an empty bedroom. That feeling that he'd pushed her out of that as soon as Murphy had arrived.

"Jake's fine. Everything's..." No, everything was not okay. The shop was a mess, and Jake was still having his bad days and this-this was definitely not okay.

"I was worried about you. I thought the storm-" she sighed. "That's part of the reason I stopped by, to make sure you and Murphy were okay."

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[info]i_wizard
2011-09-30 11:59 pm UTC (link)
Oh. That was still... there. Of course it was.

Harry deflated a bit, stepping inside and shutting the door behind him. He re-lit the candles with a spell. "No," he said, his voice soft. "We're fine. It was nasty out and all, but I had some work to do. Mouse kept me safe."

The dog wagged his tail again, and then trotted over to the fireplace to curl up.

"I take it Wayne Manor held up to the storm alright?"

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2011-10-01 01:29 am UTC (link)
"Of course he did," Dinah said. "Good boy," she told Mouse with a small, if a little sad, smile.

"The Manor's fine. The Sherwood Florist not so much," she answered, even though he hadn't asked about the shop. Her voice was a little raw, but she kept her tone even.

He chose you, Murphy had said. He loves you. She didn't really know what to make of that. She'd honestly assumed that the lack of contact with Harry meant that he and Murphy were together now. She hadn't expected to stop by and have Murphy encourage her to stay and talk to Harry.

And now that she had done that, she wasn't really sure what to say. He wasn't exactly making it easy, but she wasn't really sure what she'd expected. She had been the one to ambush him after all.

"Look, we left things in a weird place. I was hoping that maybe we could talk things out. Maybe get to a point where you might return my phone calls?" she asked gently. "Not that I'm expecting..." she shrugged. "I mean, we were friends once, right?"

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[info]i_wizard
2011-10-01 01:53 am UTC (link)
Harry squeezed his eyes shut for a moment. "I... don't do well with 'space', Dinah. I don't know what the boundaries are. When I got your messages..." It was like my heart breaking all over again. "I didn't know how to respond. So I put it off. And then an hour became a day. A day became a week. I'm..." ...being driven to exhaustion by the effort of running away from this.

He opened his eyes, and looked at her. She was beautiful. So much it hurt. Even looking worn and tired, she was beautiful.

"What happened to the shop?" he asked, concerned while grateful for some change in topic. "Is it fixable?"

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2011-10-01 02:09 am UTC (link)
"Mostly just the windows and some interior damage. And of course, all of the inventory we had in stock," Dinah said with a sigh.

"The building itself is fine. It's just going to need a lot of clean-up. We're already working on it."

She took the subject change as chance to rein in her frustration and figure out how to address his apparent confusion.

"Well, next time there's something like this, maybe you could at least send up a smoke signal or something so I know you're alive?" she bit her lower lip, trying not to let herself cry. Again.

"Apparently I don't do that well with space myself," she admitted, half gesturing to the apartment. "I should probably go. You're fine, and Karrin's still living here and I suppose that's that."

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[info]i_wizard
2011-10-01 02:48 am UTC (link)
"If you want help..." he began, but that became a sigh. "She's looking for a job. Interviews and all. And... Dinah, I screwed up. I'm sorry. It was stupid of me to tell her to stay here without talking it over with you. Damn stupid. I just... couldn't think. I didn't think I was going to see her again. But if I would have known this would happen, I never would have let her stay."

He let out his breath. "Could you send your best friend off to live someplace with these sorts of things on the streets? Vampires, murderers, werewolves, freakish storms? She's looking for a job so she can get a place. I can't kick her out. Not if you and I are... like this. But if you're telling me that nothing will change while she's still here..."

The firelight reflected in his eyes a bit more brightly. "I miss you, Dinah. What do you want me to do? Just tell me. Please."

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2011-10-01 04:02 am UTC (link)
Tears stung at her eyes, and Dinah looked over at him. He missed her?

"I was living in a three bedroom apartment and you didn't even think to ask me if she could stay with me? It had to be with you in your one bedroom apartment? Even though I was staying here whenever I wasn't out searching for Jake because I couldn't go back to that empty apartment and-"

She cut herself off and swallowed the tears that were threatening to fall. She took a slow breath to steady herself.

"I'm sorry. I know she's looking. She said she had an interview. I guess I just really needed to hear that you still wanted me around too, now that you have her here."

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[info]i_wizard
2011-10-01 04:49 am UTC (link)
"From how there were claws and hissing whenever you were near one another? No. I didn't think to ask. I'm an idiot, remember?"

He hesitated for a moment, then took a step closer, reaching for one of her hands. "I love you, Dinah. I... hell's bells, I'm no good at it. I know that. I screw up everything that matters. But I can't let go. I have nothing but the people I care about. I adore Karrin, and she's my best friend, but she's not you. And she never will be. Still want you around? Dinah, I need you around."

He wasn't right like this. He was a mess. At least after Susan had left, Billy and the Alphas had managed to help pull him together somewhat. Harry was avoiding Murphy because he didn't want to resent her for what had happened with Dinah. And because he didn't know what he would do if he found comfort in the wrong arms. Something like that wouldn't be fair to any of them.

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2011-10-01 05:07 am UTC (link)
Dinah stared up at Harry as the words sank in. Slowly, a small smile spread across her face and she gave his hand a squeeze.

"You're not an idiot," she said gently. "But I have to say that if you had just said all this a little earlier it would have saved us both some grief."

She stood up on her tiptoes and ran her free hand down his cheek.

"I love you too. I've really hated not having you around."

She pressed her lips to his, pulling him closer as she did so.

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[info]i_wizard
2011-10-01 05:31 am UTC (link)
He had to lean in to kiss her back, but that wasn't a problem. His legs felt mostly like jelly as it was. And kiss her he did, with relief and reckless abandon. His free arm wrapped around her back, pulling her closer, tightly, as he relished the kiss, for a moment forgetting all the time that had passed between this and the last one.

He didn't draw back until he was out of breath. He'd missed her. stars and stones, hell's bells, and empty night, how he'd missed her. "Dinner?" he said, not ready to let her go just yet. "Maybe tomorrow? You probably want to get back to Jake tonight."

He felt lighter. Freer. His head was spinning a bit with the sheer exultation of having her in his arms again.

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[info]i_crylikeabird
2011-10-01 12:50 pm UTC (link)
Dinah was grinning as the kiss ended, leaving them both catching their breath. She didn't let go but instead rested her head against his chest, her arms holding him tightly.

She nodded against him.

"Dinner would be good. Very good."

She tilted her head back to look up at him, still smiling.

"I love you," she repeated, glad to be able to say those words again.

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