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Tweak says, "I'm a steam roller baby!"

Lorne (i_host) wrote in we_coexist,
@ 2011-02-03 20:23:00

Entry tags:

caritas, lorne, raven archer

99 problems// grand opening (OPEN TO ALL)
Lorne had looked at the Fangtasia flier, silently loved the pun and hated the name of the place, and sighed aloud. Vampire-friendly? Caritas was totally vampire friendly! Who was this Fangtasia person?

"Well, it doesn't matter," the demon mused. "This place is still gonna happen. Every night and technically twice on Saturdays."

When the opening night crowd rolled in at 9, a kid at the door handed out a special opening night menu with $5 drink specials and happy hour food, including the Best Wings in The City.

There was a good turnout, mostly human, from what Lorne could gather from the singers. The place wasn't packed to the walls, but seats were at a premium. There was a lot of laughing, a lot of singing, and a lot of free-flowing liquor. Lorne was happy; he wished someone from back home could see this. Caritas as it was meant to be.

Also not on fire.

At 9:30, Lorne was onstage, mic in his hand, extra snazzy royal blue suit on, and a big grin on his face.

"Hey there, City dwellers. I'm your Host, and this.... is Caritas." Lorne's eyes sparkled as he said it. The place, in all its incarnations, had always made him so happy. "Caritas is a little different from places you might be used to," he began. He nodded to the piano player off to his right, and a slight, slow strain of accompaniment began.

"Y'see, folks, Caritas is a sanctuary. I'll invite you once again to take a gander at the House Rules over there," he said, gesturing to the large poster on the wall. "...and realize that I'm very serious when I say everyone is welcome here, everyone should get to feel good here, and we do mean business of the seriously fun kind."

The crowd applauded, and Lorne nodded. "I'm so glad to be opening up another set of doors for this purpose, that, well, I just feel like I need to sing about it."

He nodded at the piano player, closed his eyes, and felt completely happy--and an awful lot of happy coming out of his patrons, too. "This is a song I've been loving a lot lately, and tonight it goes out to the guy in the back. In the hat."

"If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son--
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain’t one.

Tip my hat to the sun in the west,
Feel the beat right in my chest.
At the crossroads a second time,
Make the devil change his mind.
It's a pound of flesh, but its really a ton.
99 problems and a bitch ain’t one.

If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son--
I got 99 problems and a bitch ain’t one.
99 problems....
But a bitch ain’t one.

Like broken glass under my feet,
I can lose my mind in the sea.
Looking for prize but I don’t want blood,
All I wanna drink is drink the flood.
You can come inside, but your friends can’t come.
99 problems and a bitch ain’t one.

If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son--
99 problems and a bitch ain’t one.
I got 99...
99....
....99
99.....

The guy in the hat looked stunned.

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i_host
2011-02-05 04:23 am UTC (link)

Well, Lorne had red eyes, too.

Once he was done singing and bowing, he made his way over to the young man he'd been singing to. The guy could not stop blinking.

Lorne clapped a hand on his shoulder. "Listen, kid. I know you think you love this girl, but I'm here to tell you, that way lies badness with an emphasis on the bad. There are things she's not telling you, things you can't imagine, and right now you still have a choice."

"What the fuck? What... how..."

The demon sighed. "I'm sorry. I am. I get vibes and I can run with 'em. You are vibing out to Jersey. And I don't know where we actually are or if you have any idea where Jersey actually is, but that's actually irrelevant. Girlfriend. Badness."

He smiled winningly and walked to the bar to retrieve a fresh drink, and a 40-something housewife took the stage and began singing the them from 'Dirty Dancing.'

Lorne looked around for an open seat, and found one near a young lady with the under-21 glow bracelet. Lorne wanted everyone to enjoy Caritas, and figured if you didn't like a free glow bracelet, you didn't know what you were missing.

He set his drink down and smiled at the girl. "Are you having a good time yet?"

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i_choose
2011-02-05 05:03 am UTC (link)

Though Raven might not have been able to have alcohol, but she'd partaken of the best wings in the City. With a tag line like that, how could you not? She'd been through quite a stack of napkins, which she'd then refolded and stacked neatly on her plate.

She assistant-managed a retail store. Obsessive neatness was something of a career necessity.

When Lorne sat down at her table, Raven straightened up. It was the subconscious straightening of someone newly out of high school; adults were still adults and still commanded a certain amount of respect. Respect and stiffness. Still, she smiled. "Oh! Oh, yeah. I always thought that singing in front of people would be the most mortifying thing ever, but everyone seems to be enjoying themselves. It's not nearly as scary as I imagined."

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i_host
2011-02-07 04:43 am UTC (link)

Lorne grinned.

"It can be, sweetness. But what I'm going for here is a good free-from-judgement vibe. That's the whole reason for the place. That and the wings."

He nodded at the plate in front of the girl, covered in chicken bones. "I swear, I hired Tony on the spot after tasting that buffalo sauce."

He took a drink and watched the housewife take her bow.

"Were you planning on singing tonight?"

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i_choose
2011-02-08 01:36 am UTC (link)

"Well," Raven began, "I hadn't planned to, but since it's not really that scary, probably?" She fought the urge to squirm - instead of fidgeting with one of the folded napkins, she clasped her hands together on the table, her fingers all knotted and immobile.

"I don't know how to say this and I feel like I'm not going to make any sense, but I'll try. I've never seen any place where everyone was welcome. And I've been lucky, 'cause back home I've got a place where I'm welcome, but this is different. Gabe's known me since I was little. You're just inviting us in. Strangers."

The girl paused. "Uhhh. So I came to see. Because that's kind of -- no, not 'kind of.' It's special. Just special. I don't know, I haven't really gotten out much in the City, but for where I'm from? So I came to check it out, not really to sing." Raven smiled and ducked her head. "And I came to eat some wings. Which are really good, by the way."

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i_host
2011-02-12 02:15 am UTC (link)

Lorne laughed.

"It's only scary if you're not into showing off." He gestured to his outfit, which was actually one of the less gaudy things in his closet.

You're just inviting us in.

He nodded.

"That's why I did it. Although there've been some king-sized snafus in the past with it. I know what it's like to be an outsider. I left my home dimension because I was too different, and horrible. I don't like thinking of the world as a place that's so ugly that anyone has to feel that."

He looked again at the table and the napkins and chicken bones.

"Amen, sister. Those little chicken bits really are heavenly."

A long-haired man got up on stage and started singing an Alice In Chains song about a man in a box.

"Well, sugarcube, you enjoy. And if there's anything you wanna sing, there should be a song-stylin' booklet about what the machine can do on your table."

He winked and stood up, smiling and going over to the next table to chat with the people sitting there.

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