You think you can have it both ways, be a child of the light and love the king of Hell? To love humanity and also cherish those who take advantage of their need and their pain? Do you really think you can be at both ends of the balance?
I don't think you're weak. I never could. I think if you follow this path you will, likely soon, be forced to make a choice very much like the one that lead me here and I don't want that for you. You know their nature has a lot in it that goes against what you believe. Your choices seem to be turn a blind eye, stand against it and leave or... join them. All of those have a price.
I worry for you because I love you, or do only they deserve the benefit of your doubt?