I feel he meant to show the families what their war had cost them. That sometimes we have to lose what is most important to us in order to return to our proper judgment. Though perhaps that is an incorrect interpretation.
You make an excellent point. You can feel an attraction for a person's physical form but until you know them, until you know their likes and dislikes and the things they enjoy doing and the people they are inside, how can you truly know if you love them? A woman could be beautiful but if I found she looked down on others for being poor or left her clothing all over the floor, I doubt the relationship would be a very satisfying one. If that were the case, we could all just go back to arranged marriages.