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Oliver Pike ([info]notafishie) wrote in [info]wariscoming,
@ 2010-02-17 15:13:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:faith lehane, pike

Who: Faith and Pike
Where: The bus station.
What: Pike tries to get through to Faith.
When: Early morning.
Ratings: NC-17.
Status: Complete

Typing up the message on the boards didn’t take long. He thought about including Buffy on the list, but honestly wasn’t sure if she’d care and didn’t have time to sit there debating it. Andrea, Clark, and Ruby had been the most helpful and interested the whole time, so they were three he let know. Once that was done, he threw on his coat, checked a map of Lawrence quickly on his phone, and then made a beeline for the bus station.

He wasn’t sure what he was going to say to her when he got there. The fear of screwing things up nagged at the back of his mind, but now that he knew where she was, a strange sort of calm had come over him. No time for doubts now. Whatever he was going to do, he needed to get it done before her bus left. Otherwise he’d have to start over in whatever town or city she ended up in. If it came to that, he would do it in a heartbeat, but he would really prefer not to.

He smoked a single cigarette on the way, to keep his nerves in control. Part of him was preparing for the worst. Faith had been trying to push him away when he didn’t even know where she was. Now that he would be staring her in the face, he had a feeling things would get even more intense. He had to keep his cool and steel his resolve for anything that might happen here. The cig helped him do that. He finished it just as he neared the bus station, and tossed the used butt into a trashcan as he passed it by.

The doors didn’t even slow him down. He just shoved through them, took a few steps in, and looked around the station. When he couldn’t immediately spot her, he considered looking, but decided he didn’t want to risk wasting time. So instead he strode purposefully up to the ticket counter and cut in front of the line, currently four people deep. Just as he opened his mouth to say something, the people behind him started snapping.

Pike turned, and fixed them with a glare that would have vaporized them all if looks could kill. It helped that the shiner on his chin, while faded, was still pretty visible and the cut above his left eyebrow was only covered by a tiny band-aid. “I’ll just be a minute,” he replied, his tone glacial. “You can wait.” Without so much as a second glance, he turned back to the ticket clerk, dropping both forearms onto the counter. “Hi. I’m looking for a girl, would’ve come in here a little bit ago.” He briefly described Faith, ignoring the clerk when he tried to speak. “She been here?”

“I really can’t-“ Pike gave the clerk an impatient glare, fished in his pocket, whipped out a $100, and dropped it onto the counter in front of the clerk. “-can’t lie to you, I did she her.” The clerk scooped up the cash and stuffed it into his pocket lightning fast. “Bought a ticket a little while ago.”

“She still here?” The clerk considered it and then nodded his head in the general direction he’d seen Faith go off in. “Good. Gimme one ticket, exact same type and destination.” Yet again, the people behind him complained, but this time Pike just ignored them. They weren’t important right now. The clerk prepared the asked for ticket, Pike forked over the cash, snatched the ticket package, and headed off in the direction the clerk had nodded. He kept his head down, and tried to stay near large groups. He was hoping to spot her before she spotted him, so he could use the element of surprise to his advantage.



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[info]slayersocialwrk
2010-02-18 12:53 am UTC (link)

"You forgot one thing. You can embrace it, let it take over. Keep killing." After that first guy, Finch, she had gone on a downwards spiral, and it hadn't helped, seeing the accusations in everyone's eyes. Finally, she looked over at him again. "It's not the same. You reacted like that out of guilt. You're looking at the real monster now.". She whispered the final words, not noticing that her hands were shaking. "Just let me go, Pike...I...I can't deal with this. I can't stay here." She wasn't strong enough to owe up to her mistakes, and she knew it.

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[info]notafishie
2010-02-18 01:17 am UTC (link)
"The only reason I'm not sitting right where you are now is because I happened to have a lot of booze around. If I hadn't had that, I'd have gone down the same path. I couldn't have fought it off myself." He looked at her, really looked at her. Was he wrong about her? Was he seeing things that weren't there because of his own issues?

No.

"Maybe you feel like you can't fight it off alone, but you're not alone anymore, Faith. Or you don't have to be. You can let me in. I can't promise it'll be easy, but I can promise you that you won't ever have to be alone again." He noticed her hands shaking. He heard the whisper. His heart was breaking for her. He wanted to reach out and take her hands so badly... Fuck it. He reached out to take her hands, keeping his movements slow so as not to spook her.

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[info]slayersocialwrk
2010-02-18 01:51 am UTC (link)
Things were still so fresh for her. It felt like less than a month ago that everything had gone to hell. The coma had really messed with her sense of time. She met his eyes slowly. "Why are you doing this? Why do you even care? You should be telling me to go to the police, to give myself up, or some shit like that." She never would've done that, but the way he was acting confused her.

When he reached out for her hands, she didn't move. Her eyes just fell to them, watching as he took her hands. The PA system crackled and they made the announcement for her bus. Blinking at the interruption, she glanced towards the gate and saw people starting to line up, then looked back to him slowly. "I should go..."

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[info]notafishie
2010-02-18 02:49 am UTC (link)
Some pretty complex questions, there. The cops bit was simultaneously the least and most complex part of her comments. "Prison's not the answer." The truth was, prison by itself wouldn't help. What would help is having someone to lean on, someone to talk to. She might have even found that in prison, but the chances were slim.

"Why am I doing this? Because I want to help you. Because I care. Why do I care?" He brushed his thumbs along her knuckles lightly. "I care because I see you. In a lot of little ways, you've let me see little glimpses of you. The real you. I know you can't see it, but when I look at you, I see someone so amazing. Bad shit's happened to you, and you've made mistakes, but even then you still took care of a total stranger. You could have left me in that alley. You could have, but you didn't. When I hurt, you went out of your way to make me feel better. There was nothing in it for you, but you did it anyway. Those aren't the actions of a monster, Faith."

He gave her hands an affectionate squeeze. "I care because you're the first person that's been able to make me feel something in over a decade. I care because I know what going through this alone is like, and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I care because I think I've fallen for you." He smiled at her, a small but genuine thing. "I care for a lot of reasons."

He glanced over at the gate. "You could go." Then he looked back at her. "Or you could stay." He lifted his eyebrows, hopeful.

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[info]slayersocialwrk
2010-02-18 03:03 am UTC (link)
She let out a soft breath when he said prison wasn't the answer. She'd killed three people. Most people would say that's exactly where Faith belonged.

When he started to tell her why he was still there with her, her eyes slowly met his again. "I have?" Faith frowned, thinking back as he talked about what he could see in her. Maybe..maybe he was right. She couldn't see it yet, but maybe he was.

She shot the gate one last look as they said something about final boarding for the bus, then looked at him once again. "I....I'll stay. For now, anyway." Faith had no idea how she'd get through the next few weeks, days-hell, even hours. But she'd try, for him.

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[info]notafishie
2010-02-18 03:37 am UTC (link)
He let out his own breath when she said she'd stay. He couldn't help it, he smiled in relief. "I'm glad." He squeezed her hands again. "I'll be here for you, Faith. Whatever you need, I'll be here." He'd take care of the tickets later. As long as he got them refunded today, it would probably be fine. There were more important things to handle right now than a little money. "C'mon. Let's go home. We can get some breakfast on the way, if you want."

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[info]slayersocialwrk
2010-02-18 03:44 am UTC (link)
She gave a faint nod. "Yeah...food would be good, I guess." Faith shrugged a bit, then slowly stood, shooting the gate one last look. She then turned to him, and realized her hands were still in his. She was close to breaking down, and really needed to get out of there.

"Can we just...go, now, please?" She suddenly felt a little lost. She'd been so ready to take off that staying behind hadn't even been on her list of options.

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[info]notafishie
2010-02-18 04:10 am UTC (link)
"Absolutely." He let go of one of her hands so they could move, but held onto the other. He would let her decide whether to break that connection or not. That done, he waited for her to retrieve her knapsack, and once she had he led them out. Anyone that got in their way or looked at them funny received stern glares.

He considered getting a cab, but decided against it. Faith clearly didn't want to be around people right now, so getting a cab, with someone as a driver, seemed counterproductive. Instead, he decided to take some alley shortcuts, which would take a little longer but leave them mostly out of sight. If she was going to break down, he figured she'd prefer the privacy.

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[info]slayersocialwrk
2010-02-18 04:19 am UTC (link)
Faith glanced at their hands as she scooped up her knapsack, slowly pulling it onto her shoulder. She felt fragile, like a single wrong word would shatter her into a thousand pieces. Hell, for all she knew, it would.

One last deep breath, before she slowly walked outside with him. She glanced blankly around at the street, not sure exactly how to get back to the motel. "Actually, I'm not that hungry, really." Which meant she was probably really freaked at the moment. Under her clothes, she could still feel the bruises and fresh scratches from her fight with the two chicks the day before, and all of a sudden it just made her very tired.

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[info]notafishie
2010-02-18 04:40 am UTC (link)
Pike knew there was a long road ahead for the both of them. But he was hopeful. He believed in her, even if she couldn't right now. He hadn't been this certain about something in a long time.

He glanced at her when she said she wasn't that hungry and squeezed her hand lightly. "That's fine. We can worry about food later." He was being very careful not to say anything that could even possibly be construed as him going away. Even something as mundane as 'I can run out to grab something later.' Right now, it was important that he stay with her.

He knew the way back to the motel pretty well. It would take a little longer than a cab, but still probably less time than walking back following the actual streets.

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[info]slayersocialwrk
2010-02-18 05:03 am UTC (link)
By the time they made it back to the motel, Faith felt like even more of a wreck. She'd been silent the entire walk. As they walked in, she took her hand from his and walked over to the far wall. She leaned against it slowly, turning back around to him.

"...What now?" She didn't know what to do next. Faith just crossed her arms over herself, her eyes falling again to the floor.

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[info]notafishie
2010-02-18 05:34 am UTC (link)
Pike crossed to the side of the bed across from her and sat down on the edge. "That's the million dollar question." Pike wasn't big on the 'brood a lot' school of thought. All that did was keep you in a loop of never-ending pain, and that wasn't what this was about. "You don't have to do anything right now, if you don't want. Hasn't been an easy couple of days for either of us, I think we both have some R&R time coming to us." Boy, that was an understatement. "But let me ask you this: What do you want to do now?"

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[info]slayersocialwrk
2010-02-18 05:43 am UTC (link)
"I...I don't know." She gave a small shrug, still staring at the floor. "I just...don't know what to do or anything..." God but she felt so lost.

Maybe she should have left anyway.

A part of her wanted to tell him the full story, what had happened...but she didn't know how he'd react. She was afraid to tell him, and hated admitting that to herself.

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[info]notafishie
2010-02-18 06:10 am UTC (link)
"Well." He thought about it, cocking his head to one side. "We could talk." That sparked something off in his mind, and he held up a hand. "Actually, that's something I want to tell you. This," he waved his hand in a general circle, "all this? It means that above all else, you can talk to me. About anything. Everything from the little things to the big things, from the most banal to the life-changing. Doesn't matter how good, bad, silly, or serious it is. I'll listen. And I won't judge. I'm not here to judge you."

Despite how serious the situation was, he wanted to try and cheer her at least a little. "I mean, really, I'd look terrible in a powdered wig and big robe." Then he got back to the serious bits. "I'm here to support you. Not judge. Never that. So at any point, if there's anything you feel like you want to talk about? You do it. I don't care if you decide to wake me up at 4am to talk about something, you'll have my rapt attention."

"So." He patted the spot next to him. "C'mere. Talk to me. 'Bout anything."

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[info]slayersocialwrk
2010-02-18 03:50 pm UTC (link)
She watched him for a long moment before slowly walking over and sitting next to him. She was glad he'd said all that, because she probably wouldn't have been here, otherwise.

She shifted so she was sitting cross-legged, her hands in her lap and her eyes on her hands. She could still see the blood there, even though she'd washed it off a long time ago. As she began to speak, it was in a rush, as if any word from him would shut her up again.

"The first time, B and I were fighting these vamps, kinda getting into it. We dusted them all, when this guy just kind of popped up out of nowhere. I couldn't stop. I thought he was a vampire...I just...staked him. When he didn't dust, B started freaking out and saying things like we had to go to the cops..." She shook her head. She didn't want to go on with that one.

"The second time? I just shot this guy with an arrow. I probably didn't have to. He wasn't attacking me. I was just tryin' to get this thing my boss had ordered, and I...shot him in the back." She refused to look at him while she spoke. "The last time? This professor guy. My boss wanted him dead, had even given me a new blade and everything. So I took care of it. Didn't give a shit."

Her biggest fear was that she still didn't care. She just couldn't dredge up the remorse or guilt she should be feeling.

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[info]notafishie
2010-02-18 08:41 pm UTC (link)
Pike listened silently while Faith talked. He'd been expecting the first one, thanks to his talk with Buffy just after he'd lost the kryptonite-given powers. The second two, while he hadn't really known the details, he'd had some clue were coming thanks to their talk at the bus station.

Not once did his face or eyes change. They still held quiet compassion and empathy. Not pity, he wouldn't feel sorry for her because she didn't need or want that, but he could and did feel for her. He hadn't been lying about not judging her. He just listened, taking it in. Also from his conversation with Buffy, he knew the boss she referred to had been the Mayor of Sunnydale. It hadn't really surprised him that a politician was evil. Just like it hadn't surprised him to find out that there was an evil law firm in his town. Hell, he'd considered that one kind of redundant.

Another piece of the Sunnydale puzzle snapped into place in Pike's head. She'd killed for the Mayor. While Pike didn't doubt that Faith would have killed at that point in time, he doubted very much that she would have killed for someone, without there being some kind of relationship there. Had the Mayor manipulated her? Perhaps.

Then again, perhaps not. Pike was old enough, and had been doing this for long enough, to know that 'good' and 'evil' never quite fully described anything. Not even vampires, although some could be pigeonholed that easily. He'd worked with some hunters who were good, but some of the meanest, scariest sons of bitches a guy could ever meet. He'd also met bad guys who were on the whole not terrible people. Hell, he'd had tea and a pleasant conversation with a vampire who used to be a samurai. Sure, he'd taken off the vamp's head in a duel about an hour later, but the tea was good and the vamp hadn't even tried to poison it. When asked, the vampire had simply responded that he still had a sense of honor.

If a vampire could still hold the honor code of the human it was mimicking to some importance, then any evil person could easily do the same. And Faith, who at the time had probably desperately needed a connection, any connection, could easily have let herself sink to any depths for whoever was on the other end of that connection.

"You might not ever," he told her honestly, gentle. "It's in the past. Giving a shit about them now, honestly, would be kind of pointless. You can't change what you did. You shouldn't dwell. That'll trap you in a loop of self-torment that won't ever end, and that won't help anyone." His voice was soft, but earnest. He wasn't being harsh, and he wasn't trying to just brush two dead innocents under the rug. But guilt wouldn't change the past. If it would, that poor kid in Detroit would not only have never become a werewolf, his parents would've won the lottery and he'd be living some richie-rich, never-want-for-anything life somewhere a hell of a lot nicer than Detroit. "The future is the important thing."

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[info]slayersocialwrk
2010-02-18 08:59 pm UTC (link)

"Not that far in the past." She hesitated, then looked over at him. "I just can't get you. Most people," she was thinking of Buffy here, "would tell me I should be making amends and feeling bad and all that other shit." Faith shook her head a little, looking down again. She breathed a soft sigh of frustration. "I'm not sure what I should be feeling."

"I do kinda miss him." She glanced over at him. "My boss I mean. I know it sounds dumb, but...he...he was kinda mike a dad to me. Closest I can remember, anyway. I found out just before I ended up here that he was dead." A small shrug was given before she met his eyes uncomfortably. She would've done anything for him.

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[info]notafishie
2010-02-18 09:33 pm UTC (link)
"Making amends." Pike couldn't quite contain the sarcasm in his voice when he said that. "Making amends. I really hate that phrase." He shook his head, then looked over at her. "Or maybe I should say I hate the perception of it. People say that phrase and they think it means some kind of karmic balance sheet. Do good deeds, check off the bad things you've done, and you're golden." He made a slicing motion with one hand. "That's not how it works. Not in the real world, anyway. For example, does some guy in New York care that a careless demon hunter shot a kid in Detroit? Nope. They weren't affected by what I did at all, so I don't owe them a damn thing." He shrugged. "The only people still alive that I owe anything to are that kid's family and friends. That's it. I don't owe the human race, or the world, or karma, or whatever. And neither do you."

He also had something to say about that second part. "As far as feeling bad goes..." He shrugged again. "You could. You could feel bad about things you can't change, if you wanted. You'd be miserable, because no matter how bad you felt it wouldn't change anything, and all that misery would do is make it harder for you to move on." He reached out and laid a hand on her shoulder. "You should feel whatever you want to feel. Nobody can tell you the 'right' way to feel about something, 'specially not something as serious as this."

Pike's smile was just a little wistful as she talked about her boss. "Doesn't sound dumb to me. Then again, considering my father figure wasn't really much of one, I could be biased." He gave her shoulder a little squeeze when she said he was dead. "I'm sorry," he told her softly. What surprised even him was that he kind of was. Was he sorry that some guy planning an apocalypse was gone? No. But he was sorry that her surrogate father was. The fact that he was the same guy, well.

Sometimes morality could be so damn confusing.

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[info]slayersocialwrk
2010-02-18 11:52 pm UTC (link)

Faith looked over at him, a little confused. She had thought that was how it was supposed to work-according to Buffy, even Angel, anyway. She knew that she probably wasn’t as smart as Buffy-after all, Buffy had been around for the past ten years. Faith was still stuck in the past, and before the coma, she’d been 18. She hadn’t finished school, or college, or anything like that. The only thing the now-19 year old knew was how to fight. So she wasn’t too clear on how things always worked. When he said something about owing the kid’s family, her eyes fell. She knew nothing about the guys she’d killed, or who they might have been important to.

“I…I want to not hate myself.” The words were spoken quietly, without her looking at him. But she couldn’t help but tilt her cheek a little bit against his hand on her shoulder, needing to feel something, anything.

“I didn’t really have any kind of parents. I mean-my mom was around. And whatever fuck buddy of the week she had. But…remember when I told you about that chick, Diana? My Watcher?” She glanced over, waiting for him to nod, then went on. “She was almost like a mom. She took me in to train me, but...I don’t know. I guess she’s the closest I might’ve had. ‘Til she got killed, anyway.” With Buffy’s help, she’d gotten revenge for Diana. That was one of the few things she could be thankful to Buffy for. When he said he was sorry, she looked over at him, a little confused. “S’not your fault. You didn’t blow him up.”

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[info]notafishie
2010-02-19 02:31 am UTC (link)
Pike would've been amused to find out his philosophies about redemption differed from Buffy's. Not surprised, but amused. They came from two completely different walks of life. Of course, Pike hadn't spoken to her beyond shop talk and discussions about Faith since he'd gotten here, and before then he hadn't spoken to her since leaving Vegas.

When she tilted her cheek against his hand, he lifted his index finger and gently brushed the back of it against her cheek. He reached out with his other hand, lacing his fingers in with hers. "Then you have to let the pain go, Faith. You have to take all those horrible memories and try to put them behind you. Embrace the future." It wasn't the only way, he knew. Despite his dislike of the previously mentioned method of redemption, he did knew it helped some people. But he just didn't get the urge for emotional self-flagellation when it wouldn't change anything. And if Faith didn't want to hate herself, then that wouldn't be the way to go for her.

Yet again, his heart broke for her. God, why were so many of their lives touched by tragedy in some way? He'd heard people back home talking about the Powers That Be. He didn't really buy it, but if they were real? They were the Powers That Be Dicks. And he would not be too afraid to think it, quietly, where they would hopefully not hear it and melt his face off.

He didn't ask how Diana died. He didn't think now was the right time, and besides, he could take a guess. The Slayer/Watcher relationship was dangerous for both, after all. He still remembered Merrick, Buffy's first Watcher, and what happened to him. He didn't need to know the details right now, although he was planning to ask about her later.

Blow him up. Okay. He hadn't expected to hear that one ever. Sure, Pike thought blowing up a demon sounded kind of awesome, but he was kind of surprised Buffy had apparently agreed. "No, I didn't. But I can be sorry anyway."

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