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Rose Tyler Will Defend the Earth (plusone) wrote in wariscoming,
@ 2014-01-14 00:18:00

Entry tags:

guy of gisborne, rose tyler

Who: Rose Tyler and Guy of Gisborne
What: Baby steps...hopefully leading into bigger steps
When: Late Monday
Where: Rose's room on the TARDIS
Warnings: Heartbreak. So much heartbreak

She had no idea how long Guy had been sitting there. All she knew was now and then she heard him. Either talking to the Doctor or to Martha or to Jack. Whoever came by to see if she would come out. Which, so far, she hadn't. She barely left her bed except for the bathroom or a shower. One might think she'd give up on hygiene but it was just the opposite. She felt safe in there, somehow. Comfortable. Before Guy had taken up his vigil outside her door, she'd occasionally crack it open and pull in the trays Martha made for her. But it was hard to convince herself to eat it when her friend was a doctor and knew about a million ways to poison a person. She had no idea how she was expected to trust that none of them were going to be the death of her.

But was it worth it? Locking herself away like this? What was the point? If they killed her, how would it be any different from any other time? She'd just get shuffled off to the next level or world or whatever it was Hell was calling the misery it was putting them all through. She'd just have to figure out new ways to kill the people she shared the cage with, or watch everything she loved burn to ash, or feel the burning ache of all over pain. It was a continuing pattern, though there never seemed to be any rhyme or reason to where she ended up. Hell seemed fond of this one, though. Rose had so many friends, so many people she loved in Lawrence. It was like she'd said to Eponine, of course people had missed her. It was why there were so many people were there to be the next to end her life. Even the little French girl herself had a turn.

But what was the point? Hiding away would only buy her what, a year or two? The Doctor could do it, he could get in at any time. Or John. She'd let him in the once, until the concern on his face had made her ignore him entirely until he finally left. She could hide all she wanted. In the end, the TARDIS herself could be the one to kill Rose. If that's what was meant to happen. Maybe it was better. Get out there again. Get it over with.

How could she, though? How could she face them, with no idea which would be the next?

What if they were telling the truth? What if, finally, she really was home? She could finally just hide in that warm place in Guy's arms, joke with the Doctor, tease Jack and Becker... It was so inviting, so appealing. She wanted to cuddle Toby. She wanted to go to dinner with her friends, go out and play lazer tag or do ridiculous karaoke. Something. Anything.

She just desperately wanted to feel alive again.

Pulling herself from her bed, Rose slowly, painfully made her way towards the door. The last several days in all of maybe two positions had taken their toll and she hurt. She should work on that. Her stomach hurt from barely eating, she probably looked shabby at best. None of that made approaching that door any easier.

Sliding down the door, she pulled her knees to her chest and leaned against the wood. She reached out, touching it lightly, as if she could feel human contact through it somehow. God, she wanted to believe it was possible. She was so, so tired of being hurt. For the first time in days, she attempted to use her voice. "Still out there?" she asked, the sound scratchy and quiet to even her own ears. But she was speaking. And it was a start.

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turnedtoashes
2014-01-27 11:14 am UTC (link)

Did he? He didn't quite understand how he'd gotten lucky enough to have someone like her in his life. In spite of the fact she'd loved so deeply before him. In spite of his own, admittidly ridiculous jealousy. She was with him, she loved him and he could not walk away from that. He'd been there for days already and he'd stay there until she was ready to leave. Until she was ready to admit this was real and take steps to get her life back on track.

"So lets take it that you were, that you are my second chance. That means you've saved me, in every concievable way. You made me a better man and because of that I can be there now for you. I can help you in whatever way it takes. I want you to give me just one more chance to be the man you deserve me to be."

He wasn't entirely sure what it would take to keep Rose from falling into herself. To keep her mind focused on what was real, on the people that loved her. On the life she deserved. This place, she felt safe here, he knew that, something so familiar to her. No wonder she'd hidden away here. He still wasn't used to it and still wasn't entirely sure the living ship was particularly fond of him. But she hadn't hindered him now. It seemed she care enough for Rose to see that she needed him here.

"Don't you see, You deserve to feel safe, to feel loved. And I can only imagine what hell stripped away from you but there are so many people here who want to help you recover. People who love you. Do you understand?"

He needed her to understand that. He needed to know there was a chance things would get better.

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plusone
2014-01-28 05:39 am UTC (link)

But maybe she was tired of saving people. Maybe she was tired of always being the strong one, always being the one to put others first. How long did she have to do that for? How many times did she have to be beaten down before she was allowed to just give up?

One more chance... Her fingers reached up to lightly trail the wood of the door. "You have no idea," she said softly. "No idea how badly it hurts each and every time. I give in, I try and accept it, and then you, or someone else..." The memory sent a chill down her back and she had to gasp back a sob. This wasn't a time for crying. She'd done enough of that. Now she was more numb than anything else.

Maybe she did deserve to feel safe and loved. Maybe she was meant to have that security enveloping her. But she didn't and she wasn't sure how she ever could again. "I know you love me," she whispered, despite herself. "I do. I know other people do, too. That's..." There was a moment of hesitation. She hadn't been this upfront with anyone since she'd been pulled into this world. Real or not real. "That's why it's so hard. Don't you see? Loving someone so much just to have them turn on you..." And he hadn't done so right away, no. Not in the level that was like this one. A safe and happy return home just to be denied. There, he'd lure her in with words of love and hope and kindness, and then... God, she could still feel the blade between her ribs.

And the only thing that hurt more than the actual ripping of muscle and tendon and skin as he pulled her heart out was the betrayal she felt on repeat.

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turnedtoashes
2014-01-31 12:14 pm UTC (link)

That's why it was hard. Of course, she imagined them all killing her, over and over again, different each time, and this other creation of him had said all the right things, told her he loved her probably only to turn on her. He hated this, all of this so much, and there was nothing that he could blame for what she had suffered. There was no revenge to take. He supposed that all he could do was give her the love she deserved to have and hope that she would relax around him, she would have to see it was real at some point, wouldn't she?

"I don't know what to say to that Rose, I wish I did, I wish I was better with words and comfort. All I can do is be there for you, be the man that you deserve to have love you. And I know he probably said all this before and then hurt you, and I can promise that I don't, but...what if I prove I've no weapons on me, I just want to see you? Is it so wrong to want to?"

He knew how much this must have been hurting her but how could he make her see that he loved her.

"Look, we do this as you like, at your pace, but I'm going to be here as often as you'll let me. Because I truly do love you Rose Tyler, and I'm going to help you see that you really are back with me, whatever it takes, however long it takes."

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