|Rose Tyler Will Defend the Earth (plusone) wrote in wariscoming,|
@ 2014-01-14 00:18:00
|Entry tags:||guy of gisborne, rose tyler|
Who: Rose Tyler and Guy of Gisborne
What: Baby steps...hopefully leading into bigger steps
When: Late Monday
Where: Rose's room on the TARDIS
Warnings: Heartbreak. So much heartbreak
She had no idea how long Guy had been sitting there. All she knew was now and then she heard him. Either talking to the Doctor or to Martha or to Jack. Whoever came by to see if she would come out. Which, so far, she hadn't. She barely left her bed except for the bathroom or a shower. One might think she'd give up on hygiene but it was just the opposite. She felt safe in there, somehow. Comfortable. Before Guy had taken up his vigil outside her door, she'd occasionally crack it open and pull in the trays Martha made for her. But it was hard to convince herself to eat it when her friend was a doctor and knew about a million ways to poison a person. She had no idea how she was expected to trust that none of them were going to be the death of her.
But was it worth it? Locking herself away like this? What was the point? If they killed her, how would it be any different from any other time? She'd just get shuffled off to the next level or world or whatever it was Hell was calling the misery it was putting them all through. She'd just have to figure out new ways to kill the people she shared the cage with, or watch everything she loved burn to ash, or feel the burning ache of all over pain. It was a continuing pattern, though there never seemed to be any rhyme or reason to where she ended up. Hell seemed fond of this one, though. Rose had so many friends, so many people she loved in Lawrence. It was like she'd said to Eponine, of course people had missed her. It was why there were so many people were there to be the next to end her life. Even the little French girl herself had a turn.
But what was the point? Hiding away would only buy her what, a year or two? The Doctor could do it, he could get in at any time. Or John. She'd let him in the once, until the concern on his face had made her ignore him entirely until he finally left. She could hide all she wanted. In the end, the TARDIS herself could be the one to kill Rose. If that's what was meant to happen. Maybe it was better. Get out there again. Get it over with.
How could she, though? How could she face them, with no idea which would be the next?
What if they were telling the truth? What if, finally, she really was home? She could finally just hide in that warm place in Guy's arms, joke with the Doctor, tease Jack and Becker... It was so inviting, so appealing. She wanted to cuddle Toby. She wanted to go to dinner with her friends, go out and play lazer tag or do ridiculous karaoke. Something. Anything.
She just desperately wanted to feel alive again.
Pulling herself from her bed, Rose slowly, painfully made her way towards the door. The last several days in all of maybe two positions had taken their toll and she hurt. She should work on that. Her stomach hurt from barely eating, she probably looked shabby at best. None of that made approaching that door any easier.
Sliding down the door, she pulled her knees to her chest and leaned against the wood. She reached out, touching it lightly, as if she could feel human contact through it somehow. God, she wanted to believe it was possible. She was so, so tired of being hurt. For the first time in days, she attempted to use her voice. "Still out there?" she asked, the sound scratchy and quiet to even her own ears. But she was speaking. And it was a start.