InsaneJournal

WHO: Sam & Ruby
WHAT: Post Felicia's party stuffs.
WHEN: Evening.
WHERE: Their place.
RATING: S for Sam is ridiculous.



He should have went with them. He should have gotten over the headache that was gnawing it's way through the back of his skull, he should have chugged down a bucket of coffee, and he should have climbed into Ruby's car and gone to the stupid holiday event with his family. Instead, Sam stayed home. He sifted through old research, he tried to focus up on digging through hunting materials so that he could get people out on the job again, and he even attempted organizing the mess that his office space had become. None of it stuck. The second that Emily and Ruby went out that front door and crossed their property line without him, anxiety hit him hard. What if something happened? What if Lucifer found out about their celebrations and sent in a horde of demons to attack? What if he attacked them personally? What if some taller, better looking hunter showed up without so much baggage and Ruby decided that he was better than Sam and - and what? What? Sam didn't know. The only thing he was certain of was that it felt like everything was falling apart. He couldn't handle being the go-to guy for people with questions anymore, he couldn't maintain steady relationships with the people that he cared about, and he felt like his home life was falling apart.

He needed Lucifer gone. He needed to be free. He needed his life back.

And as much as he knew that he needed to stop being paranoid, Sam couldn't. So he convinced himself that he had to do something to prove to Ruby that he wasn't all gone. It took some time, especially between all the texts he'd sent out to his wife out of so much uncertainty on her being gone, but Sam was able to rummage up a set of old fireworks that he had bought a few months ago. He had been saving them. He had planned on doing stuff. Being a good husband. Being a good father.

There was a lot that he had planned to do that he never did.

Sam set up shop along the far side of the yard. There was plenty enough space so that the fireworks would be clear of their home and vehicles when he set them off. When that was all good and finished, Sam went out to the back yard and dragged an old picnic table that they'd kept by the porch a solid distance away from his fireworks set up so they'd have somewhere to watch them from. He stripped down from plaid to a t-shirt halfway through the process - dragging picnic tables around was enough to make anyone work up a sweat - and plopped down onto the bench with a bottle of wine (glass included) for Ruby and a pair of cold beers for himself. Sam cracked a beer open and took a long drink, eyes moving up to take in the stars as he waited for his family to return home.

That was, if they even wanted to. Maybe they didn't. Maybe they wouldn't.

Maybe Lucifer had made Sam so paranoid that he didn't know what to expect anymore.