InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Breathe, George. Take a moment"

Hino Rei still hates karaoke (fireandpassion) wrote in wariscoming,
@ 2011-12-30 23:33:00

Entry tags:

hino rei/sailor mars, svetlana sergievsky

Who: Rei and OPEN!
What: Attempting to find a place of tranquility in a city she doesn't know.
When: Slightly backdated to late afternoon of Dec. 30th
Where: A church
Rating: TBA depends on who comes!

This whole situation was a little difficult to swallow, but Rei was slowly adjusting. Having been thrown into the middle of a war wasn't bothering her. She was a soldier and was used to fighting. What she was having a harder time adjusting to was the fact she was in America and she was completely out of her element. She'd never really left Tokyo, and on the rare occasion she had, it was to visit a Shinto shrine somewhere in Japan. So to suddenly find herself in America was difficult. Then there was the fact she was able to sense everyone's aura, and it was stifling. There was so much pressing against her mind that it was hard to focus sometimes. It helped that she had her sacred fire, it lessened the burden on her mind. But the room she was in was not Hikawa Shrine any longer. The wards here were different, which should be expected given they were up against a different type of evil. But that wouldn't stop Rei from putting up her own wards and luck charms when she could.

But for now, she needed to get out of the complex and away from some of the more dominant auras around it. Even the good ones were oppressive if she concentrated too long. Inwardly, she wished one of the other priests or priestesses was here to show her some trick to better clear her mind, but none of them had her gift, her heightened sense. This gift had a tendency to be a curse, though. It was the curse of awareness, of always knowing who or what was around her. She could use the sense to track people down, able to pinpoint a location if she focused in on one. However she was not tracking someone now, she was simply searching for a church or a cemetery where she could sit for a while and just focus herself. There was something peaceful about both that she liked. Rei wasn't the type to hang out in cemeteries or even be in one after the sun set, but sometimes she liked to walk through one during the day. In Tokyo, she frequented her mother's grave, taking flowers on the anniversary of her mother's death. Other times she'd simply go there to pray and meditate, able to not feel so alone for a little while.

After clothing herself appropriately for the weather outside, she headed out, glancing at both Minako's and Serenity's doors on her way, not wanting to run into either of them right now. She had no patience for Serenity and no doubt Minako would freak out at her going somewhere alone. Even though she was only fourteen, Rei could take care of herself, and she could sense if danger was going to approach her, so she could never be truly ambushed. Making her way out of the complex, Rei stood on the sidewalk outside, looking up and down the road, wondering which way she should go. It was a little daunting, but she figured no matter which way she went, sooner or later she'd find what she was looking for. Finally deciding on going right, she walked along, keeping her mind as clear as possible. However, she also kept it sharp to sense any approaching threat while she was walking.

Eventually, she came upon a church. She stopped and looked at the sign, taking a few extra moments to translate it into Japanese. A Christian church of some denomination. Even though she wasn't Christian herself, she always found peace in churches, so she walked up to the door, pulled it open and stepped inside. It was quiet inside, no one else around that she could see. She glanced around, taking in the art and architecture. The Western world had a far different viewpoint in both aspects, but she could respect both. She walked up the main aisle, then walked over to a statue to one side of the main altar. She lit a match, then lit a candle before she knelt down, closed her eyes, and began praying. She started going through her prayer and meditation rituals in hopes of them helping her calm down.

(Read comments) - (Post a new comment)

thegirlisme
2012-01-18 12:11 am UTC (link)

The assessment was accurate enough. Svetlana held on tightly to both her tea and chess as a means to hold onto her lost brothers. Oh, they were part of her, she had grown up with them, had watched and learned. Truthfully, Svetlana didn't know what her life would be without them. Tea was her self medication, it calmed her, soothed her, made her forget. Chess was her focus, her passion, her drive. The strategy and tactics. She didn't care to play it professionally, she never had gotten that grasp. But that was also because she knew it would become more than just about the game once it went to that level and she didn't want to lose what she cherished. Anatoly had and now they were trying to mend their lives because he had let pride get the best of him. Because Molokov had kept Anatoly away because he knew that she and the girls would challenge him and call him out when he got too prideful and thus his perfect machine would be ruined.

Still, Svetlana smiled slightly at the comment about tea master and gave a small nod.

"I suppose you could look at it that way..."

Oh and Jelena. Sweet, innocent, naive Jelena. The second Rei asked if she liked stories, the five year old's eyes lit up and she nodded quickly.

"A lot!" Normally she'd mention about her parents' story, and how Svetlana got sad when she would tell it before but how it seemed to be changing, or was being added to. But with both her parents there, and Fayina shooting her a warning look from over her homework, Jelena managed to curb that particular sentiment. Maybe later when Svetlana wasn't there to overhear and get sad.

But it was true, Rei had sealed her fate in regards to Jelena. The five year old now absolutely adored the miko, and was restraining herself from climbing onto her lap.

And Fayina was trying not to roll her eyes at Jelena. She was so obvious. At least to Fayina. But the five year old was definitely cheered up considerably from how she'd been since coming back to life. She'd been getting better, yes, but a new friend who told stories? That made life infinitely better in her logic. Not that five year old logic ever made sense.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

fireandpassion
2012-01-18 12:24 pm UTC (link)

Obviously, Rei didn't know Svetlana considering they had only just met, but the priestess did understand self-expression and using things to help deal with emotions. It was evident in the way Svetlana made her own teas that she did hold it close to her, perhaps out of a combination of love for her brother and treating herself when she needed it. Rei was aware of the various ways tea could heal people. Whether the ailment was physical or emotional, there seemed to be a tea for nearly everything.

"Tea is a good habit to have. It is healthy." Perhaps habit wasn't quite the right word, but Rei was relaxing, feeling her emotions calm themselves for the time being. It was undoubtedly due to the tea as well as making some new acquaintances. She wasn't so focused on herself right now, which was a good thing.

The instant Rei saw Jelena's eyes light up, she grinned. It was a genuine, happy grin, one that seemed to come so rarely to her.

"You are in luck because I love stories, too." She didn't exactly need to ask if Jelena wanted to hear one considering the girl's reaction to the question. "My favorite one is actually a Japanese legend about a girl named Princess Kaguya." And yet again, poor unsuspecting Rei was completely oblivious to what the word "princess" would trigger in Jelena. But onwards she went. "A long time ago, there was an old couple who cut and sold bamboo for a living. They had no children, but had always longed for one. One day, a girl was born from a piece of bamboo. She lived with the couple, but in reality, she was a princess from the Moon and would have to return when she became an adult." Inwardly, Rei couldn't help but think that this legend was actually true. Only the real princess' name wasn't Kaguya, but Serenity. But, of course, Rei wouldn't be admitting that part. Not yet anyway. She'd told Svetlana she was a soldier, but she wasn't about to give away the fact that Minako, Usagi and she were senshi from the Moon Kingdom, princesses of their respective homes.

Looking at Jelena, she smiled, getting into the story as she always did when she told it or read it. Or drew it, as she once had done. "So you see, there was a kingdom on the Moon, and everyone who lived there were gifted with long lives, longer than normal people who lived on Earth. Princess Kaguya was one of the people from the Moon Kingdom. Before she returned to the Moon, she provided something called Fuji, which is what would grant the people of Earth eternal life. But once she returned, the people she had left the Fuji with ordered it burned on top of a mountain. That mountain is now called Mount Fuji." Of course, Rei had good suspicion that Jelena had no idea what Mount Fuji actually was, but there it was. Leaning in close to Jelena, Rei made as though she were telling a secret, though she could still be heard by everyone in the room. "It is also part of the story that when someone dies, their soul goes to the Moon. And when we die, we will be reunited with them. My mama's on the Moon." It was a sad confession, but this time it came without the emotional baggage. Rei also purposely didn't tell the whole story, leaving room for Jelena to ask questions and such. Sometimes stories were more fun when the listener was able to guide it.

Anatoly was smiling as he saw the way Jelena lit up. Oh he knew Rei now had a forever friend in his youngest daughter. And someone who would almost incessantly ask for stories. Sipping his tea, he listened to Rei's story, noting the confession about her mother. He was a little startled by that. Someone so young shouldn't be without one parent. He glanced at Svetlana and sipped his tea. It also was not lost on him that Rei seemed to carry herself in a similar manner to Svetlana. The teenager was no where near as guarded, but he could see the little similarities. Perhaps it would help both Svetlana and Rei to have a relationship.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thegirlisme
2012-01-18 04:42 pm UTC (link)

All Svetlana could do was nod about tea being healthy. That was definitely something she understood well. True, it hadn't saved Dmitri which was when she had started to work more exclusively with it to try and help, but it had at least eased his pain. So there was that. She just knew that it wouldn't solve everything. Even sicknesses could out do tea if they were strong enough, deadly enough. But this wasn't the time to brood on that fact, no matter what day it was in regards to her brother. So nodding it was and then listening to Rei tell Jelena the story of the Moon Princess. Did she know what Anatoly was thinking in regards to her and Rei forming a relationship of sorts? No. Because well, while she was guarded, she didn't necessarily feel it was a bad thing. She knew when to ask for help. Mostly. But she did want to help Rei so she didn't have to carry the world alone.

And Jelena just listened in rapt attention. Of course the word princess caught her attention, she was five. But the story was interesting and vastly different from anything she had heard before. But the comment about the dead caused her to blink and look to Svetlana.

"Are uncle Dmitri and Erik on the Moon now?"

"I do not see why not."

Smile forced a bit more to anyone who knew where to look, Svetlana quickly took a sip of tea to hide it. Were they on the moon? Of course not. They were dead and buried in Russia. But this was Rei's story and it was a better idea for Jelena to believe about the moon right now. Seeing her daughter nod and turn her attention back to Rei, she was about to relax when the five year old asked the teenager another question.

"Do souls get kicked away from the Moon?"

And cue in Fayina speaking up.

"She wants to know what happens when a person dies and then they are not dead but they were."

"Would they remember?"

Great. Just...Svetlana needed more tea. That was all there was to it. Because now this was going back to when the girls had died and she needed her composure for this talk.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

fireandpassion
2012-01-20 02:28 am UTC (link)

When she'd started telling the story, Rei hadn't anticipated there being a serious conversation coming after it. Then again, how was she to anticipate that? She was just telling her favorite story to Jelena who loved stories. Though the question about her uncles being on the Moon didn't phase her, that was expected given the fact of what she'd said. It was the question of people dying then coming back that caught her by surprise. She looked at Fayina as she further explained what Jelena meant, then she looked back to Jelena.

Great. A loaded question, and not one she personally knew the answer to. Well okay so she technically might have been dead in the instant before she ended up here, but all she remembered was the flash of white as Serenity destroyed the world. The next thing she knew she was here. Truth be told, Minako might have a better answer than she did, but the love senshi wasn't here now, so Rei would have to answer herself.

"I cannot say for certain, but from what I believe, people could come back to life." After all, wasn't Minako here now? And Rei herself was here. Truth be told, Minako might have a better answer than she did, but she wasn't about to say anything. She didn't want Jelena bothering Minako with questions of death. Minako didn't need that. "But the gods work in mysterious ways. A person may or may not not remember, but as for why, I cannot say. Your guess would be as good as mine." Rei wished she had the answer, but she didn't. From her own experience, all she'd seen was white, and then a possible sliver of nothing, then she was here. But she wasn't about to tell a five year old there was nothing to remember, nor was she going to out-right say people couldn't remember. Who was she to speak when it might be different for everyone who experienced such a thing? While she was a priestess and had views on the afterlife, she was no diviner and could not speak for what the gods willed. All she could do was speculate. Her thoughts ran deeper on the matter, but they were too complex to explain to a five year old. The look on her face turned deeply thoughtful to reflect her inner thoughts.

Anatoly's full attention was grabbed by this turn in the conversation. He glanced at Svetlana, knowing she was going to have a hard time with where this conversation was now going. He glanced back at Rei as she gave her explanation. He hadn't expected a straight, concrete answer, but he thought what the priestess had to say was a good answer.

"It is hard to know, but there is always a reason for things," Anatoly chimed in when Rei finished and went into thought. He glanced to Svetlana, again wishing that he had been here when the girls had died. That he had been there when Svetlana needed him. It wasn't his fault that he'd been sucked into that alternate world, but he still hated that he hadn't been there for his family.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thegirlisme
2012-01-20 06:29 am UTC (link)

If there was one thing that seemed to be a family trait for the Russians, it was their ability to throw people off guard, be it one another, or those they had just met. But Jelena had been curious. Because she wanted to remember being on the Moon, she wanted to meet her uncles. She never got to meet her uncle Dmitri and she didn't remember Erik as she'd been about two at the time of his death. Fayina said he was grumpy but loved them both. So it would have been nice to remember being on the Moon so that she could have met them. Instead, she was given a vague answer like Svetlana sometimes gave and instead she just nodded thoughtfully.

"Oh..."

Meanwhile, Fayina was concerned. Mostly because she was older and more observant than her sister. She saw what Svetlana hid when she thought no one was looking. It was one of the reasons she wanted Anatoly back. Not just because he was daddy, but because he made Svetlana smile. It was why she'd kicked him all those months before. Because he had hurt Svetlana but he had promised not to anymore and he'd been doing good at it until the mean him came and the dying and after that, her mom had been different but was getting better with Anatoly around. Yet, there were still times, especially recently... times when Svetlana stared at nothing and it usually was when something like this came up. But she needed to keep an eye on Jelena and Rei so it was back to her homework.

"Does the princess have a knight?"

And away from the serious questions because Jelena was indeed five and all stories needed a knight like the one who saved the princess from herself and allowed her to become a queen.

Oh, Anatoly was right in assuming Svetlana was going to have a hard time with this conversation. It was thankfully brief, but mentally she was exhausted. With the break downs following the music explosion because her mind was forcing her to relive things she didn't want to, it was harder to maintain her facade and Jelena more or less mentioning out loud her death? Every time it happened, it broke Svetlana's heart. When the girls woke up crying in confusion. When they said something in passing. But this was so direct... so hopeful and scared. How was she supposed to respond?

Hands shaking, Svetlana kept herself away from view as best she could, thankful at least that the girls and Rei couldn't see her. So she gripped the counter and took a breath. She could get through this. The girls were alive now. That was what mattered. She needed something to drink, something that wasn't tea. But she also didn't like just taking a shot because she was upset but this sort of warranted it. Fine. One shot and then tea. And by the time the tea would be done, she'd be calm. It was as simple as that.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

fireandpassion
2012-01-26 03:41 am UTC (link)

While her answer was vague, it was really the best she could do. Rei herself couldn't really explain her own experience, and she wasn't about to say a definite yes or no when she wasn't certain. False hope was harmful to people, she'd learned that young. So the best she could do was to be vague and hope that Jelena would be satisfied enough with it. Or at the very least use it to draw her own conclusions. Not that a five year old could draw many deep conclusions like that, but one never knew if she'd ever look back on this when she was older or not.

At Jelena's new question, Rei thought of the legend in which there had been suitors, but Princess Kaguya had never had an actual knight. Princess Serenity, on the other hand, did. So Rei was going to deviate from the legend here because while Serenity and Endymion didn't have a happy ending, it made for a better story. While she didn't have many memories from the Silver Millennium, she did know what Luna had revealed to them. And when in doubt, she'd get into Usagi and Mamoru.

"Yes, she does. Actually, her knight is a prince from Earth. Their relationship was forbidden, but they loved each other and would defy the laws of both of their people to be together." Would the five year old catch the slight discrepancy in her story with how Kaguya had been given to a human couple? Who knew, but Rei would cover that base if need be. But she figured Jelena would let it go and be more interested in learning about this new story. As long as Rei kept the bad parts out of it and made up a happy ending, it wouldn't be all bad, would it? Yes it was bad to lie and say the prince and princess were happy in the end when in reality, they both ended up dead. But Jelena didn't need to know that.

Of course Anatoly was keeping a close eye on Svetlana. How could he not? He knew what had happened to the girls, and while it was hard for him to hear Jelena ask about the topic, he knew it was nothing compared to what Svetlana felt. With Jelena sufficiently distracted by Rei and Fayina working on her homework, Anatoly got up from his seat and moved into the kitchen. He saw the way the blonde gripped the counter. Oh this wasn't good, not that he thought it could be good because he knew better. He moved closer, silently lettig her know he was there if she needed anything. But he wouldn't exactly stop her from taking a shot because he knew it helped calm her down. It also wasn't like she was an alcoholic or anything. But he just made his presence known, let her know she wasn't alone in this.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

thegirlisme
2012-01-26 06:08 am UTC (link)

While Jelena was indeed aware of the slight discrepancy in the story, she didn't comment on it as she was more interested in the new story. She had no idea that she was being lied to but what did it really matter? After all, there was a prince and a princess and that was all it needed to keep her full attention. So while Rei told her the story about how the prince and princess fell in love and were able to unite their two kingdoms, the five year old listened with rapt attention, nodding in thought as the story came to an end.

"I know a story!"

"Doesn't mean she wants to hear it."

Sticking her tongue out at her sister who just rolled her eyes, Jelena turned her attention back to Rei.

"There was an Ice Princess who had a hard time of trusting people but there were a lot of... suits who wanted to make her their princess so they tried to win her attention. Princes but she did not care. She knew who they really were because she could see into the souls to know if they were good or bad. She had a locket but it could not be opened because the key was missing. But there was a knight that no body paid attention to. One day, he came across people trying to take the princess and so he fought them off by himself but got hurt. Taking her to where he lived, the knight tried to take care of the princess but she would not let him because he was hurt and she used her powers to heal him. When they went back to the palace, the princess' brother tried to banish the knight because he thought that the knight did something mean but the princess fought her brother, which was shocking because she very rarely said anything. After that, the knight and princess started to be friends. One day, it was raining and the knight got the princess somewhere safe and told her he loved her but knew she did not love him because he was just a knight but he was wrong and when she said she loved him, the locket opened because the key was made of love. After that, the two were married and the princess became a queen. They were happy but then a mean Rat King showed up and he challenged the knight for the queen and set him up on very hard tests to prove himself and the knight was gone but the Queen never lost faith in him even as the Rat King tried to change her heart. He would send people after her but she never stopped loving her knight and he finally came back and she was right."

The shot had calmed Svetlana down slightly but she was still upset. She just wasn't going to drown her issues in vodka. That was Mikhail's way. So as she waited for the water to heat up again, she just leaned against the counter next to Anatoly. She wasn't really sure on what to say, so she said nothing at all. But then Jelena started to tell the story of the two and Svetlana just looked down. It was happier than the truth but it was also true. All that time, Svetlana had held onto hope. It was really Bangkok where it had been destroyed. She had been hurt and betrayed in the years before, yes, but after Anatoly didn't come home? After seeing him with Florence? The arguments about him losing or winning... that was when she realized he was changed, that he would never be hers again. Or so she thought.

When the kettle whistle blew, Svetlana went and quickly made the mixture for the tea she needed this time and let the now full tea bag steep and the water to cool down some, looking at Anatoly curiously to see just how he was handling the story Jelena had just told Rei.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

fireandpassion
2012-01-26 07:38 am UTC (link)

The fire senshi well knew Serenity, as she was right now, would probably berate her, or possibly kill her, for even uttering the story. Love wasn't lost on her, she could see the value in it. And besides, she was the embodiment of passion, a key aspect to love, and Serenity and Endymion as well as Usagi and Mamoru had it. And as long as Jelena liked hearing about it, Rei would tell stories like it. She knew the value of fairytales to a child. Too early she'd had her innocence ripped away from her. She wasn't about to let any child have the same taken away from them if she could help it.

As Jelena stuck her tongue out at Fayina, Rei just had to smile. It was funny to see, but she did want to hear the story. She listened closely as Jelena told it. She didn't even pay any attention to the word swap, she followed the meaning easily enough. Rei had no idea that the story was true, that it was about Jelena's parents, so she just took it as a story. Of course, as much as she loved stories, she was a bit jaded on love and had a pessimistic view of it, for the most part. As much as she wanted to believe that fairytale romance actually existed, she knew better than that. But she wouldn't be popping Jelena's bubble on that, she'd let her believe whatever she wanted to because she had a right to do so. When she got to the end of the story, Rei smiled.

"A happy ending. I like that the princess was proven right. I am certain the knight would make certain the Rat King stayed away after having succeeded in his challenges and proven himself." She was completely oblivious to the fact the story was an allegory about Svetlana and Anatoly because how could she know otherwise? She'd only just met them.

Words weren't something that would make a lot of difference at this moment, mostly as they had company and their girls were within earshot. They didn't need to get into the emotional side of things where their children could overhear. So Anatoly too remained silent. At least until he heard Jelena's story. He froze a bit, of course knowing exactly what the story was about. It wasn't that hard to figure it out. Lowering his head, all he could think about was those years of pain he'd caused his family, how horrible he had been. It had all culminated in Bangkok. He knew that was when Svetlana had truly seen what he'd become, knew he wasn't the man she'd married anymore. He was grateful for this place, for helping him try to rebuild his family and be back where he belonged. But the point was that he had a chance, and he was taking it.

The whistle of the kettle jolted him a bit. After a minute he lifted his head and saw Svetlana was looking at him. Without having to speak, his expression said it all for him. He regretted what he had done, what he had become. He'd let Molokov corrupt him and let his pride take him away from what truly mattered the most; his wife and his family. He really hadn't expected Svetlana to even let him in the door of this apartment, yet she had. And now he was living here with his family again. They were willing to work through everything, and perhaps some day, he could be that knight again, be worthy of that title again.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

(Read comments) -