|Elphaba isn't the wicked witch you're looking for (tothewesternsky) wrote in wariscoming,|
@ 2011-06-19 17:27:00
|Entry tags:||elphaba, it's lucifer bitches!|
Who: Elphaba and Lucifer!
What: Time to torture the green girl in her dreams!
Where: Elphie's head, which is sort of a scary place to be on most days.
Warnings: NPC!Nessa getting crushed by Dorothy's house, probably language of some sort, angst to the extreme. Everything else TBA but there's no rainbows and unicorns to be found here! Only doom and gloom!
Elphaba's dreams tended to vary greatly from night to night, though most were unpleasant. Actually, pleasant dreams were extremely rare for her. This night, she was back in Oz, standing in a mostly empty room of the castle Fiyero had told her to hide in. The only piece of furniture within it was the bookstand that held her Grimmerie. She was looking down at the cover, wondering if there was a spell that could transport her backwards in time. Perhaps then she could fix everything that had happened. She could keep her sister from dying, save Fiyero, everything. She wouldn't have to be wicked, she wouldn't have to be hunted. Oh how she longed for that measure of peace again. Setting her hand on the book, Elphaba closed her eyes, feeling the weight of her guilt so heavy on her shoulders. What good were her powers if she couldn't save those she loved?
And what about Galinda? She'd come to love the blonde witch, but she couldn't bring herself to confess her feelings. Well, technically she had uttered the words to Galinda, but the blonde hadn't understood and Elphaba hadn't pressed the issue. After all, she didn't want to run the risk of being rejected. The green skinned witch had had more than enough of that to fill a thousand lifetimes. And there was also the fact Galinda still loved Fiyero, and she wouldn't interfere with that anymore than she all ready had. She'd stolen Fiyero from Galinda once, she wasn't going to do it again. Drawing in a deep breath, she had to do something to fix all the wrongs she had done. She needed to make herself worthy of being loved, even if there was a voice in her head that told her she could never be worthy of it. Pushing the thoughts aside, Elphaba opened the Grimmerie and started paging through it, looking for a spell that could help her achieve what she wanted. There wasn't a spell for everything, but in dreams, what one wants or needs has a tendency to appear, and it wasn't long before she spotted a spell that fit the bill.
Without pausing to think, she cast the spell and instantly was teleported back in time. She found herself in Munchkinland. She glanced around, looking for any sign of life, but there was none to be found. Looking down at the ground, she tried to get her bearings on just where in time she was, and she noticed she suddenly had her broom in her left hand. And she had the appearance of the Wicked Witch of the West. This was definitely not what she'd had on just a moment ago. Confused, Elphaba looked up and she heard a sound. Straining to hear, she made it out to be Nessa, calling for Boq.
"Nessa!" Elphaba cried out and she tried to run towards her sister. But just as she tried to move, she found she couldn't. "What? What's going on?!" Her body would not respond to what she wanted it to do. Before she could do anything further, she found herself chanting a spell. What spell it was, she didn't know, but it wasn't long before the blue sky above turned dark and storm clouds covered the area, effectively blotting out the sun. Then, a twister appeared. Elphaba's eyes flew wide with fear. No, it couldn't be happening again, and certainly not happening at her hands. She finished the spell, but she still didn't have control over her body. The green-skinned witch was little more than a passenger in her own dream now.
The twister grew closer, and Nessa was in a state of anger and distress. She could hear her sister's angry cries, and then, finally, she saw her. Nessa had turned down the road that Elphaba knew all too well. She tried to scream out, to warn her sister, but no sound came from her mouth. All she could do was watch as the twister grew closer, the wind howling. Then she saw it, the house that had killed Nessa. But she was powerless, able to only watch in horror as the house dropped down on her sister. Nessa let out a piercing scream as she was crushed beneath the storm-wrecked farmhouse. And only then did Elphaba finally regain control of herself.
"Nessa!!!" She cried and rushed over to see if there was anything that she could do to help, but it was far too late. Her sister was dead again, by her own hand. "Nessa, oh Nessa I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have left you." She dropped her broom as she fell to her knees. All that was visible of her sister were her legs with the jeweled shoes Elphaba had enchanted for her. "This is all my fault. If I hadn't cast that spell...if I hadn't turned my back." She hung her head and closed her eyes, feeling the tears welling up. "This is all my fault." It was more evident than ever before that her sister's death was her fault. If she'd been slowly dying of guilt before, she was now being quickly crushed by it.
Guilt was a powerful motivator, one that Elphaba knew all too well. It was part of what had finally pushed her over the edge, forcing her into the role of the wicked witch. Was she truly wicked? Perhaps she was. How many times had she given in to the anger she carried? Hadn't she killed a human being in cold blood a couple months earlier? Of course the fact that the person had kidnapped and tortured Bonnie was far from her mind right then. All she could think about were all the horrible things she'd done. Maybe her green skin was a sign that she was wicked. Should she just stop trying to be good and give in? Doing good had cost her everyone she'd ever held dear to her heart.
"No, I'm a good person. I am," she said, trying to pull herself out of the train of thoughts she had. She couldn't lose herself. Not now. But as she looked back at all that remained of her sister, the guilt crushed her even more. She felt everything from Oz. It was all somehow her fault. Her mother's death, her sister's death, stealing Fiyero from Galinda, the flying monkeys, Boq, Fiyero's ultimate fate. She felt it all, carried all of the burdens herself even when people told her it wasn't her fault. Elphaba was trying so hard to hold on to the good in her, to not lose herself again. She'd all ready given in to being the wicked witch once, she refused to do it again. She actually had friends and people that cared about her in this world, she didn't want to let them all down. She refused to let Earth become another Oz.