iaintwildbill (iaintwildbill) wrote in voicesinmyhead, @ 2007-07-30 22:00:00 |
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Current location: | the bunk house |
Current mood: | awake |
Entry tags: | jimmy hickok, prompt #05 |
Prompt #5 - What is your greatest fear?
So much blood. All over the ground and his hands. It should be warm, but his skin is ice cold and so numb, he can't tell.
He's had this nightmare before. That lady in Blue Creek runs in front of him as he turns to fire and she falls to the ground. He's helpess to stop it, just like when it actually happened. But for some reason, he doesn't wake up in a cold sweat this time. Doesn't wake up at all, actually. Instead, he steps towards the lady and turns her over. Suddenly, the world comes to a complete stop around him and he looks around to try and figure out what that wretched sound is. He realizes with horror that it's coming from him. He's screaming her name. His eyes go to his hands, blood red and guilty. And then, her face. Not her... never her... He repeats her name over and over until his voice is raw and his throat bleeds. Louise...
He wakes up, but not in a fervor or cold sweat like he does from most of his nightmares. His eyes slide open and he bites down on his lip incredibly hard. He doesn't want them to hear it. The sob that's tearing itself out of him. He figures they can't see the hot, stinging tears cascading down his temples as he lays in the bunk, but they would hear him if he started sobbing. James Butler Hickok doesn't sob. He doens't cry. He's a man. A strong man... who's desperately trying to lie to himself to stop the tears from falling. He can't look at her, even though all he'd have to do is turn his head. Instead, he closes his eyes and wipes at them with a rough sleeve, knowing sleep isn't going to come anytime soon. And maybe... he should be grateful.