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Andy Gallagher is not the droid you're looking for (brain_ninja) wrote in vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-06-24 03:02:00

Entry tags:

!complete, andy gallagher, day 12, lexie grey, location: gym

Day Twelve - Mid-morning
Who: Andy Gallagher and Lexie Grey
What: Checking in with Doc Lex
When: Day Twelve - mid-morning
Where: In the gym
Rating: PG-13 (to be safe, but it'll probably only be for Andy's language)
Status: Complete

Things had quieted down quite a bit. It seemed like the worst was over; that the threat was gone. Andy knew better than to fully believe that, but he was also willing to allow himself to relax, even if just a little.

He wondered if the happenings in Guthrie and then the ones in Cold Oak had changed him or if he'd always been like this... Andy wondered when he'd become a poor man's Winchester. Somewhere along the way, he'd made it his business to keep tabs on the people he cared about, but mostly the women. While Luna had made it pretty clear to him that she was completely disinterested in having him as a buddy anymore - which didn't mean he couldn't still wonder if she was all right - and Kim seemed to be okay now that she'd found someone she knew from the real world, there was still Elliot. And Doc Lex. Elliot had taken something to the side, but she looked like a fighter; she was hanging in there and doing her thing in spite of it all. He wasn't too worried about her for the time being, because she seemed to be okay. It was Lexie that he was worried about.

It hadn't been lost on him the way she hadn't joined Elliot and Dr. House in their makeshift rounds. If she thought everyone had failed to notice the way she sat alone, staring out at nothing, she was only fooling herself, because Andy had noticed. He'd been noticing for more hours than he cared to count, by now. In fact, it had taken a lot of will power on his part not to invade her personal space by sitting beside her and offering the poor woman a penny for her thoughts, but he had a feeling, judging by her body language and the not-quite-vacant but very far away look on her face, that it wouldn't be appreciated, so he'd kept his distance.

Until today. He couldn't just sit back watching her and wondering if she was all right, anymore. So, finally, he made his way over to her and cringed inwardly as he noticed the lump on her shoulder. Never mind the dried blood on her clothes. Carefully, wincing slightly at the way the new stitches Elliot had been kind enough to put in his leg pulled and shifted when he moved, he sat down beside her. For a long moment, he said nothing, just looking out over the injured the way she seemed to be. "How ya holdin' up, Doc?" he asked quietly. He didn't want to push buttons or upset her; just wanted to make sure she was still okay when she didn't entirely look it. He gave her a sideways glance, then. "You doin' okay? I mean, all things considered...?"

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skipped3rdgrade
2009-06-25 10:56 pm UTC (link)

Lexie's shoulder screamed as involuntary shudders ran their course from the middle of her back and up through the rest of her. Her body screamed 'sob!' but she wouldn't. She couldn't. So, the emotion continued to roll in like the tide, pounding on the beach. Each quiver taking away just another bit of Lexie's resolve.

Andy sweetly pushed the hair back out of her eyes but all she wanted to do was hide behind it. Even with him, yes. It felt like something had broken and that something was hanging around her neck like a neon sign. She imagined that the letters wrote out 'fake.' She was a fake. She wasn't strong like Elliot or House. She wasn't a real doctor.

She was being pulled in. It was a gentle pull but the action felt like a violent undertow that she couldn't resist. Lexie Grey was shaking. 'Just let it out,' he said. She couldn't not at this point. She burrowed her face into his shoulder with her other hand coming up and clutching desperately to the fabric of his shirt at the other. The stitches in her forehead were stinging, but she couldn't even dream to will herself out and away.

Andy was talking, but Lexie was barely listening. She hadn't let herself break since she got here. She'd been running on all cylinders for a week, running away and hiding and masking the fact she was petrified. "I'm just so scared," she whispered quietly into his shoulder. "Scared and tired."

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brain_ninja
2009-06-26 12:22 am UTC (link)

It wasn't until he'd pulled her in for a hug that Andy realized Lexie was shaking like a leaf. The realization was almost alarming, but he pushed it away because he knew that being surprised by it would only mean he was feeding into exactly what she seemed to be having such a hard time with - the facade.

Andy was a bit of an empath; seeing Lexie like this - even though he knew she needed it - was not only a little uncomfortable because he was unfamiliar with seeing it, but it broke his heart. He hated that there was nothing - not a fucking thing - that he could do to make her feel better, safer, or calmer. All he could do was all he was already doing.

When he felt her clutching at his shirt and burying her face against his shoulder, his brow furrowed sympathetically and he moved his hand from her back to the back of her head almost reflexively, stroking her hair exactly the way he'd done for Trace so many times after a rough day at the diner or a fight with her mother. It wasn't conscious and he didn't even realize, for a moment, that he was doing it. His other hand rose slightly from it's place above her hip to pick up the slack, rubbing her back again. And the last of his automatic movements was to tuck her head under his chin and pull her in a little closer, squinting against the dust being kicked up by the wind.

Part of what she whispered into his shoulder was missed, but when put together with the latter statement, a full sentence still formed. I'm just scared and tired, he caught and nodded gently, more to himself than to her. "I'm scared too, Lex. We're all scared. We're all tired. You're not alone," he said almost as quietly as her original sentiment. Mainly because, even though it was a bit hypocritical of him, Andy didn't like the idea of anyone knowing that he was scared shitless.

"Listen to me, though, okay?" he asked, raising his voice just enough to be heard over the wind as it picked up. "You don't have to be scared. Okay? I'm not gonna let anything happen to you." He paused, then, thinking about how he'd seen her, at some point, squished awkwardly onto a cot with Dean. "Dean won't, either," he tacked on and had to make a conscious effort not to grit his teeth. Once again, Dean fucking Winchester coincidentally taking up with another girl Andy cared about. This time he hadn't even bothered to let anyone know he gave a damn about Lexie, so he knew it wasn't Dean just being a dick...that was just Andy's fucking luck, so it seemed.

Taking a deep breath and letting it out in a small sigh, Andy closed his eyes, finally giving up on squinting unsuccessfully against all the dust. "I know it sounds like I'm bullshitting you, right now...but it's gonna be okay. Okay?" Sam got us out of Cold Oak...he can get us out of here; I know it. I'm banking on it, went unsaid. She wouldn't understand why it was significant and it wouldn't make her feel better. It made Andy feel better, though, so the thought was in the back of his mind, all the same.

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skipped3rdgrade
2009-06-26 01:04 am UTC (link)

There wasn't a thought running through Lexie's mind outside of fear. People wrote mean things in the journals. No, mean sounded like she was in grade school. This was not grade school, this was the real world. No, the things they wrote were cruel. Things about the patient she became smitten with who died. Things about her having obligations and being too scared to carry them out. Things about people dying. It all turned into one big crazy ball of mind fuck, and Lexie Grey was starting to crack beneath it.

Andy was enveloping her like a blanket, even though he wasn't much taller than she was. He'd wrapped his arms around her and stroked her hair. There was a visceral reaction in Lexie. The shaking slowed, her breathing became less gasping, and slowly Lexie was becoming able to listen and think.

I'm not going to let anything happen to you.

She'd heard him say that and Lexie was so desperate to believe hi,. That he could keep this place from killing her and keep the people with their mean words and hateful disposition far, far away. That maybe in this fucked up little town she could just breathe for a little while.

Dean won't, either, he'd added belatedly. Lexie didn't realize he'd seen. Or, well, that anyone had noticed. She wasn't sure how she felt about that; because while the gym was a very public place, it had been a very private moment. A few seconds where she'd escaped. Where Dean had managed to take her mind away and fill it up with ridiculous thoughts of the pharmacy and beaches. Though, Lexie hadn't needed to be distracted, she'd needed this. She'd needed to be allowed to cry. She'd needed to be allowed to breathe. With each day she'd been building up her facade, each day it came closer to falling in on itself. Had Andy seen that?

It's going to be okay. Okay? He'd asked this and Lexie didn't know how to respond. She could respond now, because she could breathe and think. "I... I hope so," she managed, her breath coming out shakey.

She was clinging still in that silence, her hand hadn't let go of his shirt and certainly the side she'd pressed her face into was tear stained. Still, she couldn't pull back, not yet. She'd felt so far away with Dean - and that had felt safe because it wasn't here. With Andy's arms around her and his reassuring words, Lexie knew that she could really just be here just for a few more minutes. She didn't have to be flirty or witty or smart. She could just breathe. And it was Okay.

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brain_ninja
2009-06-26 01:23 am UTC (link)

Andy was glad to feel that Lexie was starting to relax, if only a little. She seemed to be calming down slightly, as well; her breathing was less ragged. He stood still and continued his hopefully soothing movements, stroking her hair and rubbing her back and just let her cry. It wasn't long before he could feel his shirt starting to cling to his skin with moisture but he ignored it. She needed this and it didn't bother him.

Her breath was still shakey as she replied and he gave her a small smile. "I promise," he whispered. The words might or might not have been lost in the wind, but he tried. Lexie didn't move and he felt badly all over again for waiting this long to let her get it out. He should've done this two days ago. He should've done it the first time he saw her sitting alone and staring at nothing.

"You wanna really take a walk now? Talk?" he offered. "Or you wanna just stay right here? It's up to you. I'll do whatever you want, peaches," he added.

A long, drawn out pause passed and he smiled slightly. "Hey, check me out with the role reversal. I get to be there for you this time. I say we're even for the K-hole hour, now."

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skipped3rdgrade
2009-06-26 01:40 am UTC (link)

Lexie could feel Andy's movements as if he had said something. but, she didn't catch it in the roaring wind. She imagined it was probably something along the lines of It will be, Andy seemed the sort who would be very reassuring in a time like this.

Slowly her hand started to loosen and the tear stained face of Lexie Grey was pulled back from his shoulder so she could look up at him. She wanted desperately to give him a real smile; though, the best she could manage was a small tug at the corners of her mouth. "Thanks, Andy," her brow knitted a little, a sad look of sincerity hanging on her features. She really was thankful. Truly.

You wanna take a walk now? He'd asked, and Lexie nodded quickly in turn. She felt like she wanted to run away from the scene of the crime. She'd get away with robbery and murder and battery and everything else if she could just get away from the back of the gym. "Yeah," she said, raising the back of her hand to wipe at her cheeks again. The Wind was ridiculous, making her blink rapidly. As if she hadn't cried enough already the wind seemed to be conspiring to get even more tears out of her.

"You're doing a great job, I'll try not to go and jibber jabber on about nonsense to you," she teased, her voice a bit stronger now.

Tentatively, Lexie stepped away. the closeness immediately missed. A protective hug from a friend and all Lexie really wanted to do was curl right back up in there. Instead, she forced back on her brave face before linking her arm back in Andy's. "Did Doctor Reid give you the okay to be out and about with those stitches?" She jabbed. "I mean, I know they're not dental floss or anything..."

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brain_ninja
2009-06-26 02:19 am UTC (link)

Lexie pulled away slightly and looked up at him, tugging on Andy's heartstrings. It took a conscious effort for him not to move to brush her tears away on his own. She's Lexie. She's not Tracy. Just be a friend, Gallagher. Friends don't do that. Boyfriends do that and boyfriend, you ain't, man. He matched her weak smile with one of his own and nodded. "You're welcome, Lexie." His eyes met hers in an effort to let her know that he meant it in such a way that he hoped she felt she could turn to him in the future if she needed something like this. Or, well, anything, really. She'd taken really good care of him when he'd needed it; he wanted to pay the favor back with interest.

Andy was glad that she was agreeing to a walk. To him, that meant Lexie was feeling a little better and he hoped he wasn't wrong about that. "Ha, yeah, well I'll try not to pump you full of hallucinogens and you should be okay," he joked back, smirking at her. Yeah, she must be feeling at least a little better. Mission accomplished.

Just as much as Lexie missed the closeness, Andy did as well. He kept his observation to himself when he saw that the second she moved away, she acted as though she'd never been upset to begin with. That was fair enough. If she felt like she needed to remove herself from it, he wasn't going to stop her. And he was going to keep the whole thing to himself; he wasn't going to tell. Andy hoped that by keeping her secret the way he'd been keeping Sarah's would give her reason to think she could and would want to trust him in the future if she needed another moment like that; a friend she could just be herself around.

Looking over at her, Andy raised his eyebrows. "I didn't ask Elliot cuz Doc Lex is the one who gives me my medical advice," he pointed out, winking. "I felt bad enough cheating on her by letting Elliot re-stitch it to begin with, so I'm kinda glad it wasn't dental floss. That's, like, a signature move and everything. Doc Lex does minty fresh stitches because she's the shit," he added, grinning. "Plus she said she'd save me the red and purple lollipops."

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skipped3rdgrade
2009-06-27 11:38 am UTC (link)

He said she was welcome and out of reflex Lexie looked down at her shoes. She couldn't help it. Again, she was used to being the caregiver, not the one taken care of. Hell, she wouldn't even let Karev take care of her, and it seemed like he really wanted to after he'd found out about her dad. She chalked it up to the whole situation just being something he understood, and not really his wanting to be 'there' for her. That look, though, from Andy made her quite certain that he was really trying to see her. Maybe he really did, despite her best effort at subterfuge.

"Pssssh, you're going to have to do better than Ketamine if you think you're going to get met to babble," OK, so maybe it was a bit of a half assed attempt at teasing. Maybe even a half assed attempt at bravado. Whatever it was Lexie was doing, it felt only half way there. She didn't want to be half baked or half cocked or half whatever. Though, it was probably more sheer exhaustion than anything else that kept the young surgeon from really being able to crank everything up to full speed. She'd get there. She had to.

When Andy started joking about not asking Elliot and calling her Doc Lex, it was hard for her not to laugh a little. His jokes weren't lost on her and as much as the big black cloud she'd been holed up under didn't seem to want to dissipate, the sunshine that was Andy seemed to be knocking that cloud out with a one-two punch.

"You'd think they'd have included some lollipops in the batch of medical supplies they'd sent in, huh? I mean, every hospital I've been in has had them as standard fare..." Her good arm looped back in his again, seeing as he didn't have any crutches and an arbitrary direction was chosen.

"I'm kind of bummed they turned my room into a death trap," she confessed, trying to make light of it all. "And they trashed my clinic," it was her clinic. It may have been started by Martha, but she felt like it was hers. Lexie shook her head. "When we get out of here, I'm going on vacation. Probably to a beach. A beach or maybe a desert. Or maybe on a cruise..." Yes, she was babbling because she was trying to think of places that were the least like the place she was right now. So, it meant she would not be going back to Seattle - because the humidity and the trees and the gloom might be far too easy to recognize there.

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brain_ninja
2009-06-28 12:38 am UTC (link)

Andy's eyebrows rose and his smirk widened. "Oh really? You're stronger than the drug, huh? What's that say about your recreational activities back home, Lex?" he joked. He could tell she was teasing and it would've been better if it sounded to him like her heart was in it, but he figured baby steps would do just fine for now. He could be patient when he needed to be and right now, he thought maybe he did.

It was nice, though, to see her laugh. If there was anything Andy felt confident in his skill in doing, it was making people laugh...or at least break out a smile. Lexie being able to laugh at his lame ass jokes and at the very least fake pretty well the genuine amusement in her eyes was enough to make Andy smile brightly back at her. He never thought the sound of someone's laughter would be music to his ears, but there it was. It was great to hear Doc Lex fucking laugh.

"Yeah, you'd think," he remarked in return as they started walking. "Fuckers. The least they could've done was drop off some damn lollipops." What he didn't add was that he thought for some of the people in the gym, lollipops might be just enough to get a small, weak smile. There were people in there that weren't hurt as badly as others and who were milling around in the gym, at his best guess, because that was where the doctors were and, from what little he'd been able to see last time he'd come out and run into Sarah, it was the only building still standing. It wasn't really because they needed to be there so much as they didn't have anywhere else to go. While he felt stupid thinking it, Andy couldn't help but ponder the positive effects that just a lollipop and a giggle might have on some of the people he'd seen taking up cots.

Nodding sympathetically, Andy sighed. "Yeah, that's pretty shitty. Once people start clearing out, I'll help clean up, Lex. It probably just looks worse than it really is," he said, trying to see the bright side. If there was one, that was... "Oh man, I've always wanted to go on a cruise. I could probably hook us up with some free tickets if you don't mind a stowaway," he offered reflexively before thinking. Not only was he running the risk of her asking how on Earth he was going to manage to get free tickets, but he was also shoving his way into her little impromptu fantasy. Fuck, that wasn't how he'd meant it at all... With a roll of his eyes, and a smirk, Andy shook his head. "Or, you know, I could try," he attempted to save.

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