InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Tweak!"

Jenny Schecter (dont_f_withme) wrote in vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-06-02 11:09:00

Entry tags:

!complete, day 09, jenny schecter, location: library, the doctor (ten)

Day 9: Morningtime Meeting
Who: Jenny & The Doctor
What: Meeting in person
When: 10:30 am or thereabouts
Where: The Library
Rating: PGish (may be raised if Jenny drops an f-bomb or two)
Status: Active

Jenny had not slept well at all. Whether she was going to admit it to herself or not, she had been terrified by that clone or whoever it had been calling himself Captain Jack Harkness. In spite of Shannon's assurance that Jack would never behave that way, she wasn't taking any chances. If she saw that face ever again, she was running. And if she couldn't run, she was going to scream. It had kept her inside the library, barricaded in the special editions archive, curled up under a fire blanket on the floor clutching her journal to her chest and only periodically catching a snatch of sleep when her lids fluttered closed out of pure exhaustion.

She woke with a start as the sun's rays finally crept beneath her lashes and roused her tired brain. Scrambling to her feet, Jenny realized where she was only after she'd rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands and looked around. Breathing in the dust and must of old books, she felt the rumble in her stomach for food. How long had it been since she'd actually eaten?

It didn't take long for her to unbarricade the door, something that registered a pang of fear in her hungry stomach. If it was so easy for her it could have been very easy for anyone else. She wouldn't think about it because her stomach was audible in the empty halls now as she wandered farther into the building in hopes of finding a stash of candy bars of an old vending machine of some sort.

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dont_f_withme
2009-06-12 10:39 am UTC (link)

It was like finding a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Ms. Jennifer Schecter had a small corner of her normal life back with that book in her hands. It might be an alien edition to her but they were her words. It was her life on these pages. She couldn't have begun to express what she was feeling right then with words. Even though words were her existence, sometimes they failed completely to be descriptive enough to capture the human experience in full.

"Very creative." She nodded distractedly. "I guess you could say I'm a proper novelist. I went through my share of the turn downs and struggles that any of the greats experienced. I have a whole forest-worth of rejection letters in my study at home. I wrote a screenplay as well which was being made into a movie that I was directing. Before I got kidnapped to this place."

Jenny looked at the Doctor with a smile in her eyes. "I can't believe, after all of the hell they've put us through, that they would be so nice to me like this." Her face fell suddenly then and she looked down at the book in her hands with less enthusiasm. "Do you think it's - that there might be something wrong with it? Like maybe I shouldn't have picked it up?" She looked a bit forlorn but her fingers still caressed the pages reverently as if it were the works of someone else, someone vastly important.

And what were the odds she'd find her own book among the thousands on the shelves in this library? That seemed foreboding to her too now. Reluctantly, Jenny held slowly closed the beautiful book and carefully, as though it might be a bomb about to explode, she placed it on the nearest shelf, shaking her head slowly. Her eyes held a look of fear now. She'd come full circle in such a short amount of time.

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fromgallifrey
2009-06-12 01:34 pm UTC (link)

"That sounds busy," he said, plucking another volume off of the shelf. He'd never heard of it so he carefully slid it back again. "How do you ever find time to do anything else?" The Doctor had the benefit of having nothing but time; but, he thought often about the way the people he'd met managed to fill theirs. If she spent her life with her nose to the paper, how did she ever find time to live?

He watched as she slid it back, and promptly he reached out and pulled the volume from the shelf, taking in a deep breath. He didn't smell nor taste anything out of the ordinary. The pages were flipping slowly. "It's just a book. A very special book. I'd hold on to it," he held it out to her and waited for her to take it.

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dont_f_withme
2009-06-12 06:28 pm UTC (link)

"It is - um was? - busy. I hardly had time to breathe before I ended up here. It's easier not to think about things if you don't have time. I scheduled my days completely. A year ago I was much more free but now..." she let her voice trail off thoughtfully.

There wasn't anything else except occasional interludes with Nikki and the odd night out with the girls. But those nights out never felt welcoming these days. She'd become too ambitious and focused for them to like her much anymore. It made her feel very insignificant then to realize that she really had nobody and nothing by her own choosing. Except Nikki. But Nikki had probably already moved on. She knew that.

"I lived the story on those pages. I don't think I want to have a reminder of that pain and the other memories around me all the time here. It's bad enough the way it is already. You know?" she said as casually as she could manage. She was starting to feel anxious as if the large room around them was suddenly closing in all around them.

Impulsively and without really thinking about it, Jenny threw her arms around the Doctor and held onto him. "Can you just put your arms around me for a minute? I just need -" She wasn't sure exactly what she needed but throwing herself at a mostly unknown man wasn't her usual MO. In fact, men in general weren't her usual MO so this wasn't an advance or anything. She felt so small and lost suddenly.

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fromgallifrey
2009-06-12 07:17 pm UTC (link)

Ah, so she was a filler. He wondered what had hit her so hard that she had to take her mind away from life outside her work.

There was a change in the girl in front of him. It was like a snowball that grew the longer the book stayed on the shelf and swelled again as he plucked it off again. "This," he breathed, looking to the book. "For all it's pain is a triumph, just look at it. Not another story like it in the universe. I'd call it marvelous." He set the book carefully back on the shelf as the girl in front of him continued to crumble.

Pushing herself unexpectedly forward, the Doctor found himself with a girl wrapping her arms around his middle. He didn't gasp or pull or shrug. No, the Doctor did what came naturally, his arms went around her shoulders and held.

If there was one thing his companions and friends would agree on, at least recently, is that in the whole of time and space the Time Lord gave good hugs. "You're just fine," he said quietly.

He liked hugs, hugs were good.

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dont_f_withme
2009-06-14 07:07 pm UTC (link)

His words didn't fall on deaf ears. Jenny was always open to hearing compliments on her work. It made it all worthwhile to be a writer when someone called anything that came from her fingers and her mind "marvelous." He hadn't even read it but he was so generous that Jenny felt herself drawn to him the way she was always drawn to people who were beacons of decency in the darkness of selfishness in the world. She was part of the selfishness now. She regretted it deeply but how did one change after such conditioning as she'd had?

With his arms around her she felt secure for the first time in so long she could hardly remember. Tim had made her feel like this. Tim had always been the one who had given her unconditional love. The love she'd thrown away for Marina. For a few heartbeats she closed her eyes and pretended that the Doctor's arms were Tim's and that time had been reversed back five years. When she'd still been fresh and doe-eyed and the world had held mysteries beyond her own personal tragedies. When all of what had gone into her book hadn't been at the forefront of her mind in such a self-destructive way.

Jenny would have liked to stay there in that moment for hours and hours until none of this was real anymore and only the fantasy remained. But she'd already slipped deep into it when Sid had helped her get to the gym in the thunderstorm. It hadn't been attractive. She'd be damned if she did it again. She sniffled and wiped at her nose then and pushed away from him looking sheepish.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "Thank you. I didn't mean to just, you know." She indicated him, making reference to just throwing herself at him. "You really are wonderful, you know that?"

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fromgallifrey
2009-06-14 09:50 pm UTC (link)

It was a long moment there, that hug lasting longer than he had perhaps expected. The Doctor wasn't often a comforter to those he didn't know - and sometimes not even then. He was usually too busy trying to move them on and away from what bothered them; or, trying to distract himself from feeling the same.

In this case, the Doctor just wanted to be needed. He'd felt almost impotent for the last week. His work had gone slowly, his attempts at finding Martha had failed, and it seemed like more and more of the people he had charged with his care were turning against him. The Doctor liked being challenged by his foes, not by those he was trying to help. As such, to be needed for something so simple as a hug - something he could so easily provide, it made the Doctor feel useful once more.

Jenny pulled away and the Doctor made no motion to hold tighter - he'd served his purpose and that was fine enough.

"Oh, no, no bother," he responded to her thanks.

When she said he was wonderful his face lit up like a Christmas tree, "I am aren't I?" Oh, yes, the Doctor was still very much in.

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dont_f_withme
2009-06-15 06:49 pm UTC (link)

Jenny hadn't meant to hold on to him so long. It had just felt so good to be close to someone. It had been a very long time since she had just been held with no strings attached. She wished she could script more hugs like that into her life because once she'd had one, she wanted more. She wouldn't subject him to that though.

She smiled at him when he said it wasn't a bother. Then she looked down, playing with the hem of her tea dress before looking up at him again. His expression was so boyish and pleased that she couldn't help mirroring it again. Her smile was a less enthusiastic version but it was a smile nonetheless.

"Yes, you most certainly are," she agreed. "I'm sorry I interrupted your search for a book. Were you looking for something specific? I could um help you look if you wanted. I was hoping for some paperbacks I could stick in my bag and return when I was done but there don't seem to be many of them in here."

She was chattering nervously now. Embarrassed by her very public rollercoaster of emotions and throwing herself at him, she wanted to change the subject and try to establish herself as less of a freak than she'd appeared so far.

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fromgallifrey
2009-06-18 06:10 pm UTC (link)

The Doctor was more than pleased to see her smile again. It was hard to fake a smile well, it was like the languages of Darfoto: something always managed to get lost in the translation. Then again, when a language consists of simultaneous clicks, gestures, blinks and the occasional flatulence it's pretty easy to see why some things could get misinterpreted.

Not often people agreed with his hapless attempts at self promotion, so when Jenny did the Doctor tried very hard not to look even more pleased with himself. "Well, it just seemed a shame that there be a library that I hadn't visited. I was curious what sort of books it might have is all, I wasn't really looking for anything in particular."

"Though, I think you and I both might be best suited with a little fresh air, yes?" He nodded his head toward the way out. "Up for a stroll?"

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dont_f_withme
2009-06-20 08:17 pm UTC (link)

Jenny watched his reaction to her agreement and felt a little confused. She'd never seen someone who was so intelligent, bordering on brilliant probably, who was so pleased with himself in the way the Doctor seemed to be. It was almost like a child who was proud of himself for the frog he'd caught. Pure and warranted self-enjoyment. He knew he was wonderful and enjoyed being told so though he didn't appear to have a large ego over it. Very confusing to Jenny who came from a world of self-important board members and executives who only cared that they were recognized properly for what they'd done.

She tilted her head, taking in a slow and deep breath, looking at the Doctor searchingly. Was he humoring her? Was he really interested in taking a walk and prolonging this meeting? She'd already proved herself to be somewhat neurotic and she knew it. Her mind still flittered between the present and the way things with Tim had been back before she'd been imported to Los Angeles and things had go so terribly awry.

But he wasn't Tim. Though she would not say he was pale by comparison either. There was a peacefulness with the Doctor that she could appreciate. Something that she would love to experience more of. And getting out of this dusty museum of dinosaur tomes sounded perfect.

"A stroll? Yes, I think so. Just what the Doctor ordered, right?" she said and attempted a playful smile. "I haven't felt very safe to walk outside for a while. You'd be doing me a favor, I think." A rare, genuine moment for Jenny, admitted vulnerability. She didn't think it would be abused.

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fromgallifrey
2009-06-20 09:34 pm UTC (link)

Make no mistake, the Doctor has an ego the size of a small galaxy. An ego that was beyond reproach or impingement. More importantly, it was an ego that managed to do quite well hiding out beneath a bubbly, friendly exterior. His ego was like a chameleon that could bend and hide fairly easily but was easy to spot once one knew what to look for.

"Ah, well, the clones are gone and it's bright and sunny outside. I think the fresh air would do you some good, bard." He responded, extending his hand with a wiggle of his fingers and a grin.

"Besides, I haven't even managed to have a proper breakfast yet." The Doctor reached into his pocket with his free hand and pulled out a pair of apples, which he held out for her to take as his slow pace started toward the way out.

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