InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Me siento sola."

Sam Winchester (demonboyking) wrote in vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-05-27 08:16:00

Entry tags:

!complete, day 08, dean winchester, location: gym, sam winchester, shannon rutherford

Who: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester and Shannon Rutherford
What: Bad News
Where: Gym
When: Day 8, evening
Rating: R
Status: Active

He wasn't ready.

That much was clear as Sam hesitated outside the gym. Hell, he was practically pacing outside the door, trying to work up the courage needed to do what he needed to do. He found himself thinking a little liquid courage might have made things easier, but he quickly pushed that thought away. Buzzing while breaking the news of their father's death to his brother was not another thing that Sam needed or wanted on his conscience.

He ran a hand through his hair, fighting down a faint feeling of nasuea. He should've told Dean from the start. He should've laid it all out for him, but he'd thought he'd been doing the better thing by trying to shield him from it. Dean was always taking care of him, looking out for him, Sam had just wanted to do the same for him. Technically their father still had another year in Dean's timeline. Technically he was still alive, hadn't even deserted the woman in white job to go after the yellow eyed demon, maybe didn't even know how close he was to closing in on the thing that had ripped their family apart.

Maybe if he did tell Dean everything then when they found a way out of this place and he went back he'd be able to change the way everything had happened. Maybe he'd be able to save their dad. Maybe he'd be able to save Sam from getting stabbed in the back by Jake without having to sell his soul to a Crossroads demon. If anyone could or would, it would be Dean.

But what if he couldn't? What if he was faced with the same heavy weight Sam had been - was, if they ever got out of here - faced with knowing that if he couldn't get Dean out of his deal with the Crossroads demon in a year's time that he was going to loose his brother. His family.

Sam swallowed hard, shutting his eyes for a long moment and shivering. He'd just wanted to buy some time. He'd just wanted Dean to be Dean again without the lines of grief settled at the corners of his eyes and mouth, without the rock hard edge that had come from grief and guilt and had taken Sam a better part of a year to wear down.

He opened his eyes and clenched his jaw. Still, there was no way he was going to let the bastard on the journals tell Dean. No way he was going to let him twist up Sam's intentions so that they put even more space between him and his brother. Maybe this was the thing's way of driving them apart, by forcing Sam to tell him, but it was still better than the alternative of having their dad's death broadcast over the journals - more than it already had been - of Dean having to ask Sam if it was true and Sam not being able to say it wasn't. It'd been hard enough just glossing over details and lying by omission. Sam didn't have it in him to lie to his brother's face. Not about this.

Sam had stopped moving and the outside chill was creeping in through his clothing. He stared at the gym door for a moment longer and then forced his feet to move towards it. Inside the gym, things were eerily quiet and he forced back a sudden feeling of panic that he was too late as he called out his brother's name. "Dean?"

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demonboyking
2009-06-01 01:10 am UTC (link)

Sam's brow furrowed at Dean's tone, not sure exactly what he meant by saying that Shannon wasn't hurt. He looked over at Shannon and wondered if something had happened that he didn't know about. She wasn't looking at Sam and he was suddenly reminded of the day at the Carnival when she'd seemed to be hiding behind Domeki.

Sam's face softened into one of unhappiness as he realized that Dean thought Sam was there to get onto him about flirting with the girls again. Ordinarily he might have been a little unhappy with the fact that his brother had taken Shannon out of the museum with a clone version of him running around. But he could understand how the real version of his brother would want to keep her safe and might only trust himself to do it, despite the other people at the museum. If anything in that situation he would've been disappointed in the fact that Shannon had trusted a version of Dean so readily without really knowing whether it was the real him or not. Not that Sam was doing much better himself so far. Still, he didn't understand the frustration in Dean's voice. He hadn't been that overbearing had he?

Sam swallowed hard. "That's not why I want to talk to you," he said at the same moment that Shannon said she'd start going through the other journals. He didn't understand that statement either, but considering what he was about to do he didn't really think it mattered. What mattered was telling Dean the truth before the man in the journals did.

He fought the urge to say it would just take a minute, or that he just had to tell him something really quickly because it wasn't exactly the kind of news that could be given and dealt with in the span of a couple of minutes, or days, or weeks, or maybe even years. Sam ran a hand through his hair and shifted on his feet. "Dean, it's important."

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hellsboy
2009-06-01 10:09 pm UTC (link)

Sam couldn't know how many times the words he'd spoken to Dean had haunted him even in the most innocent of situations. He found himself hindered in interacting with girls of any type because Sam's face continually popped into his mind, reminding him that he couldn't just run through this place and break hearts carelessly. He had never thought about doing that before Sam had mentioned it but it occurred to him now that he really was on a quest to do that. First Shannon, then Luna in a way and after her there was Lexie.

Except he felt vindicated with Lexie because Lexie wasn't someone else's girl interest. She had been all his own and she was the one that had stayed in his mind today. Even while he'd been with Shannon, of all people. Still he was torn. He was a cad, a user and he knew it. There had been too much play and not enough care for the girls he was interacting with until today. Which was why he was pissy with Sam. Sam had been right when Dean hadn't wanted to see it.

"Oh really?" he asked his brother in disbelief. He was not going to admit to Sam that he'd been right. He wasn't going to admit to Sam that he was worried now that after all he'd done, he might turn out to be the most dangerous thing there was in this glass bubble of a town.

"Fine, Sam. Lay it on me then." He stood his ground, unhappy that Shannon was going to walk away for any reason. He wanted her here. He wanted to fix whatever it was that had caused her to shrink into herself and look as though she were bucking for the award for most unhappy person here. Dean folded his arms over his chest and waited for the inevitable. He was going to get chewed out and he was going to endure it until it was over and then go away knowing he'd done the right thing in spite of what his brother thought because Shannon would be safe.

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