InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "YOU STUPID YELLOW BELLY!"

Sam Winchester (demonboyking) wrote in vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-05-27 08:16:00

Entry tags:

!complete, day 08, dean winchester, location: gym, sam winchester, shannon rutherford

Who: Sam Winchester, Dean Winchester and Shannon Rutherford
What: Bad News
Where: Gym
When: Day 8, evening
Rating: R
Status: Active

He wasn't ready.

That much was clear as Sam hesitated outside the gym. Hell, he was practically pacing outside the door, trying to work up the courage needed to do what he needed to do. He found himself thinking a little liquid courage might have made things easier, but he quickly pushed that thought away. Buzzing while breaking the news of their father's death to his brother was not another thing that Sam needed or wanted on his conscience.

He ran a hand through his hair, fighting down a faint feeling of nasuea. He should've told Dean from the start. He should've laid it all out for him, but he'd thought he'd been doing the better thing by trying to shield him from it. Dean was always taking care of him, looking out for him, Sam had just wanted to do the same for him. Technically their father still had another year in Dean's timeline. Technically he was still alive, hadn't even deserted the woman in white job to go after the yellow eyed demon, maybe didn't even know how close he was to closing in on the thing that had ripped their family apart.

Maybe if he did tell Dean everything then when they found a way out of this place and he went back he'd be able to change the way everything had happened. Maybe he'd be able to save their dad. Maybe he'd be able to save Sam from getting stabbed in the back by Jake without having to sell his soul to a Crossroads demon. If anyone could or would, it would be Dean.

But what if he couldn't? What if he was faced with the same heavy weight Sam had been - was, if they ever got out of here - faced with knowing that if he couldn't get Dean out of his deal with the Crossroads demon in a year's time that he was going to loose his brother. His family.

Sam swallowed hard, shutting his eyes for a long moment and shivering. He'd just wanted to buy some time. He'd just wanted Dean to be Dean again without the lines of grief settled at the corners of his eyes and mouth, without the rock hard edge that had come from grief and guilt and had taken Sam a better part of a year to wear down.

He opened his eyes and clenched his jaw. Still, there was no way he was going to let the bastard on the journals tell Dean. No way he was going to let him twist up Sam's intentions so that they put even more space between him and his brother. Maybe this was the thing's way of driving them apart, by forcing Sam to tell him, but it was still better than the alternative of having their dad's death broadcast over the journals - more than it already had been - of Dean having to ask Sam if it was true and Sam not being able to say it wasn't. It'd been hard enough just glossing over details and lying by omission. Sam didn't have it in him to lie to his brother's face. Not about this.

Sam had stopped moving and the outside chill was creeping in through his clothing. He stared at the gym door for a moment longer and then forced his feet to move towards it. Inside the gym, things were eerily quiet and he forced back a sudden feeling of panic that he was too late as he called out his brother's name. "Dean?"

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ballerinadreams
2009-06-03 11:42 am UTC (link)

Taking a deep breath and looking anywhere other than at either of the Winchesters, Shannon hovered in place for a moment. Yeah, they were definitely about to get into it, from the sounds of things, and Shannon didn't want any part of it. That was the last thing she needed to be present for after the day she'd been having. She felt raw enough, still, as it was. No need to compound it knowingly and intentionally.

"Ooookay, so...yeah, I'll just be in the office," she said, finally looking back at Dean and giving him a small smile that didn't quite reach her eyes because she felt too uncomfortable with the situation at hand to put the necessary effort in.

With that, she slunk away from the two of them, tucking her hair behind her ears, and headed back toward the locker rooms, flicking on her lighter as she went to illuminate her path. She hated that all she could see in her mind's eye as she went was Dean under the shower. Dean backing her into the wall. Dean pushing into her and -

"Stop it," she murmured to herself, bypassing the showers and making a beeline for the cabinet where the journals had been. ...only...they weren't there anymore. "Great," she snapped, dropping down into the chair at the desk and taking her head in her hands. Well, the brothers were busy; no one would notice if she had herself another good cry. Maybe this time it'd feel good to get it out.

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demonboyking
2009-06-05 01:32 am UTC (link)

"Really," Sam said, looking away from Dean. He didn't really understand the challenging look his brother was shooting him, but he didn't really feel in the mood to stare him down over it either. He looked back up at him when he said to lay it on him, wondering if he had any idea what he was asking for.

He glanced over at Shannon who obviously felt uncomfortable and suddenly wanted to ask her to stay. He knew it wasn't fair to her to be in the middle of it, that Dean wouldn't understand Sam telling a complete stranger than their father was dead when he hadn't even been able to tell Dean, but a part of him wanted Shannon to stay and tell him he'd done the right thing. He'd thought she'd understood that night when he'd told her the truth that he was just trying to do the right thing.

Instead he said nothing and watched her slip away before looking back at Dean. He stared at his brother for a long moment, feeling his stomach churn with nerves and fear.

"Dean," he said slowly. "I'm sorry, don't really know how to say..." He paused. "You've been reading the journals today, right?"

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hellsboy
2009-06-07 02:08 pm UTC (link)

Dean rolled his eyes as Shannon chickened out and walked away. He kind of wanted her to stick around and tell Sam that Sam wasn't right about him. Of all the people in the equation, Shannon could stand there and say she wasn't being taken advantage of by Dean because she was as much a part of what had happened here in this gym as he had been. It wasn't like he'd forced her or even coerced her. She knew what she was doing at all times.

That she had decided to leave rather than defend him hit home a blow he had known was coming. He hadn't wanted to watch her choose Sam over him even though he knew she cared about Sam more than him. He just hadn't wanted to see it. Now that he had, he knew he could be done. He wouldn't bother trying to chase her anymore. He'd protect her if she needed him but that would be it. Nothing more.

He turned his eyes from Shannon's retreating figure and looked at Sam with a very tolerant expression. "Yeah, I've been reading the journals. Asshole Insider thinks he's cute. Most people think he's saying they're responsible for deaths they weren't a part of, yadda yadda yadda. What about it?"

He'd kept his finger on the pulse of that particular journal as much as he could even if he hadn't really interacted much with it or had time to read a lot today. He wanted to know why his father had been on that list. It made no sense because Dad was fine and if it was an issue in Sam's timeline, Sam would have told him. He was sure of it. So whatever that guy was on, it was just a power trip and nothing more. He'd even mentioned someone that Logan knew nothing about. Guy was an idiot and that was all.

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demonboyking
2009-06-10 12:40 am UTC (link)

Sam's stomach seemed to drop out from underneath him as Dean turned his full attention on him. His jaw tightened as he finally found himself alone with his brother in the expanse of the gym with no more time to put off what he knew was inevitable. Either it came from him or from the Insider.

"He mentioned dad," Sam said, his jaw still taught even as he said it. He might have sounded angry, but the truth was he was just trying to control his voice. He felt a wave of anger move through him that he even had to be doing this to his brother, wondering again if this had been the plan all along. "He's trying to tear us apart, Dean. He's trying to turn us against each other and I'm not going to let that happen."

His eyebrows moved together as he looked down at the gym floor. "I didn't mean to lie to you. I didn't know how to tell you. I tried to, but I just couldn't..." He trailed off before swallowing and looking back up at Dean, guilt stamped across his face. "I was trying to protect you."

His face softened into one of regret. "Dean, I'm sorry."

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hellsboy
2009-06-12 08:41 am UTC (link)

"Yeah, like I said, he's an asshole. He's just messing around. Don't let him get you going, Sam." He made a face, rolling his eyes at the Insider. Guy was seriously a bratty child. Still, maybe there was something to what he'd been spouting. Some of the people responding in the journals had been genuinely upset. And now so was Sam, apparently.

Dean's brows furrowed and canted his head. "What are you talking about?" he asked, looking at Sam confusedly. He wasn't sure he liked this. Why was Sam so serious? Whatever it was, if Sam was as upset about it as all this, it could not be good. He was suddenly reminded of the first conversation he'd had with Sam after arriving here. That had hit hard where it hurt on a few points.

Shifting on his feet, Dean watched his brother for a long minute. Did he want to know the answer to the question bouncing around his mind now? Did he really want to hear what he assumed Sam was going to tell him if he asked it? Sam trying to protect him sounded like it was pretty damned bad news. There didn't seem to be any getting around it though considering Insider was all for dropping bombs and watching them scatter.

Taking a deep breath, Dean unfolded his arms and let them fall to his sides. His voice was low and wary as he asked, "What did you lie about, Sam?"

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demonboyking
2009-06-14 03:59 pm UTC (link)

Sam watched his brother anxiously, the seconds seeming to drag out into hours as Dean's expression shifted along with his body weight. He could almost see his brother figuring things out, the look in his eyes as wary as his tone.

"Dad," Sam said, feeling a chill move through him. He took a deep breath. "I lied about dad."

He took a step nearer to Dean, feeling the tickle of approaching tears behind his eyes. He blinked them back and cleared his throat. "There was an accident. We were hit by a semi, one of his demons. We were all in bad shape, but you..." Sam paused and glanced downwards, as he relieved Dean coding and him being completely unable to do anything to help his brother. "You were in a coma. They didn't think you were going to wake up. You were dying, Dean."

He sniffed and blinked again, looking back up at Dean. "Dad, he...uh..." Sam took a deep breath. "He made a deal with the demon. Him for you." He reached out and gripped the arm of Dean's jacket. "Dean, I didn't know what he was doing. I thought he was going after the Yellow Eyed Demon. I didn't know he was going to make a deal."

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