InsaneJournal

"Please assume the party escort position so that you might enjoy your cake and counseling," was the last thing that GLaDOS recalled echoing from the speakers riddled throughout her beloved Aperture Science Enrichment Center. There had been other things, sure. She had mentioned the ability to donate one or more of ones body parts to the Aperture Science Self-Esteem Program for Girls - and even reminded that Take Your Daughter to Work Day was the perfect time to have them tested. GLaDOS liked Tests. Really, really liked tests.

In fact - as the stern reality that gravity applied to her sank in, GLaDOS was running a test herself. <i>Morality Center 65%, Curiosity Center 99%, Cake Center 99%, and Anger Center 17%; Operating at 70% efficiency.</i>

The phrase 'efficiency compromised' rang into GLaDOS' thoughts. She could not see. Perhaps her cameras had been disabled. Perhaps there had been a power failure? This made no sense, She could not sense her cameras nor her power grid, nor her facility. All that GLaDOS could sense was a distinct sharpness about her casing - the feeling that something was slicing like a razor about her. This, indeed, was a novel sensation.

Then, her eyes opened.

"This is not the Enrichment Center," she remarked from something that buzzed. It was not a bad speaker - bad speakers did not feel that way. Bad speakers did not hum and did not rattle in her head. Her Head. GLaDOS came to realize she had a head. She spied her feet. She spied her hands. She spied her. She spied a body.

"This is not my assigned model," She spoke, again her voice rattling her own ears as she less than gracefully pushed herself to a standing position. Her clothing was soaked but she had to undo the buttons to lower her sleeves and pants. Bare feet burned in the melting snow.


She heard movement. Someone else was there, though without her cameras she was at a loss to see them just yet. "I am not here for counseling or cake."