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Tweak says, "I love dogs............"

Sam Winchester (demonboyking) wrote in vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-10-02 08:18:00

Entry tags:

!active, day 25, location: museum, sam winchester, shannon rutherford

Day 25, Evening
Who: Sam Winchester and Shannon Rutherford
What: Coming home to the museum
Where: Museum
When: Early Evening
Rating: PG
Status: Complete

The morning's experiment had been one that Sam wouldn't be forgetting anytime soon. Not only because he'd been able to see that Dean was still alive, some time in the future, but also because coming back to Vas he realized just how much he'd come to depend on the people he'd met since being there. A world without Dean was hard to handle or accept, but one without Shannon or Andy had been empty and lacking as well. He already missed Dean's familiar presence and hoped that he'd get to see his brother again soon but at least he knew he wasn't really dead. It made it easier, being stuck in this place to know that Dean wasn't.

He'd gone back to the theatre to get his things, what little possessions he did have, and then had headed back to the museum. He'd needed time away from Shannon after waking up to find Dean's body beside them and her reaction to his siding with the other Doctor. The truth was he'd needed time away from everyone, but especially Shannon because he couldn't help but feel that he'd let Dean down by getting so wrapped up in her. Right now though he just wanted to see her again. The thought that he wouldn't be able to had pulled at him even through the makeshift Christmas with Dean, casting a bittersweet taint over everything.

As he made his way back to the museum and the room he shared with her he realized that Vas was the longest time he'd spent in one place since Stanford. Even though his presence there was against his will and it was more prison than a home, Sam couldn't deny that there was a small bit of comfort in it's familiar surroundings. He wasn't sure that was a good thing.

He knocked before entering, the sense of familiarity fading as he opened the door and moved inside the room, realizing that coming back also meant talking about some things that he'd been putting off for days. Unless Shannon didn't want to talk about those thing either.

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demonboyking
2009-10-03 06:21 pm UTC (link)

Sam looked around the room, spotting Shannon and giving her a small smile in return. Seeing her handwriting over the journals had been a huge relief, but seeing her here in person made him physically relax. "Hey," he said quietly as she moved towards him and stopped. The awkwardness from the fall out of their fight settled around them and Sam wasn't sure what to say.

"I missed you too," Sam said softly, his smile widening slightly before she said she loved him. Sam stilled, surprised into silence as she wrapped her arms around him and pressed her face against his shoulder. His arms found their way around her and he hugged her close, burying his nose in her hair. He swallowed, trying to work through his own feelings. He'd only said "I love you" to one girl and losing her had been the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. He didn't know if he could go through that again with Shannon, especially when losing her was such a huge possibility in this place.

Except the decision wasn't really his. Finding himself in a world without Shannon in it had made him realize just how much space she'd taken up inside his heart. He'd gone from having a Dean shaped hole in it to having a Shannon shaped one in a space of hours and he knew if given the choice he'd choose the world with his brother in it, but that didn't mean that he wouldn't feel the emptiness of where she should've been.

She apologized and looked up at him and for a moment all he could do was look down at her before Sam's eyebrows moved together and his look softened into one that was almost apologetic.

"I love you too," he said, his voice barely audible. It hurt to say, not only because it meant that somewhere along the way he'd allowed himself to love someone other than Jess, but because it felt like he was inviting the possibility of bad things to happen because of it. He knew it should feel good to know that she loved him the way he loved her, but in reality it was canceled out by the anxiety of knowing that their feelings for each other would be a weakness that would be eventually exploited and undoubtedly used to hurt one another.

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