InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "say-whaaaaaat?"

Sam Winchester (demonboyking) wrote in vas_captio_rpg,
@ 2009-10-02 08:18:00

Entry tags:

!active, day 25, location: museum, sam winchester, shannon rutherford

Day 25, Evening
Who: Sam Winchester and Shannon Rutherford
What: Coming home to the museum
Where: Museum
When: Early Evening
Rating: PG
Status: Complete

The morning's experiment had been one that Sam wouldn't be forgetting anytime soon. Not only because he'd been able to see that Dean was still alive, some time in the future, but also because coming back to Vas he realized just how much he'd come to depend on the people he'd met since being there. A world without Dean was hard to handle or accept, but one without Shannon or Andy had been empty and lacking as well. He already missed Dean's familiar presence and hoped that he'd get to see his brother again soon but at least he knew he wasn't really dead. It made it easier, being stuck in this place to know that Dean wasn't.

He'd gone back to the theatre to get his things, what little possessions he did have, and then had headed back to the museum. He'd needed time away from Shannon after waking up to find Dean's body beside them and her reaction to his siding with the other Doctor. The truth was he'd needed time away from everyone, but especially Shannon because he couldn't help but feel that he'd let Dean down by getting so wrapped up in her. Right now though he just wanted to see her again. The thought that he wouldn't be able to had pulled at him even through the makeshift Christmas with Dean, casting a bittersweet taint over everything.

As he made his way back to the museum and the room he shared with her he realized that Vas was the longest time he'd spent in one place since Stanford. Even though his presence there was against his will and it was more prison than a home, Sam couldn't deny that there was a small bit of comfort in it's familiar surroundings. He wasn't sure that was a good thing.

He knocked before entering, the sense of familiarity fading as he opened the door and moved inside the room, realizing that coming back also meant talking about some things that he'd been putting off for days. Unless Shannon didn't want to talk about those thing either.

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ballerinadreams
2009-10-03 04:18 pm UTC (link)

The morning had been the perfect mixture of awful and fantastic. She'd seen Boone again; she'd been given the chance to let him know that she was sorry and that she loved him before she knew she'd never see him again. On the same token, though, she'd been thwarted from her efforts to try to research things from her future. She wanted to find Sam and Dean and know that, wherever - or whoever - they were back then, they were okay. She wanted to look up Torchwood and know that Jack and Ianto were safe. She wanted to look up Domeki and know that somewhere, he was still alive and oblivious to the fact that his days were numbered. She'd wanted to warn them all.

When there was a knock at the door, Shannon started from her zoned out position on the floor and got to her feet just in time to see Sam let himself in. Part of her desperately wanted to be upset with him for not waiting for her to answer, but most of her was just too damn elated to see that he was coming home to bother. She gave him a weak smile as she moved toward him and paused a few steps away, looking up at him. Shannon wasn't sure whether she should come any closer; whether she should stand back or indulge in the desire to hug him. Or kiss him. Or...

"I missed you," she blurted out stupidly. "I love you," she admitted quietly before throwing caution to the wind and deciding if Sam didn't like it, he'd let her know. Her arms wrapped around him and she closed her eyes burying her face against his shoulder. "And I'm sorry." That latter part was added because they hadn't really talked much face to face since burying Dean, if at all, and he deserved to hear it. Shannon pulled away just enough to look up at him. "Really, really sorry," she added sincerely, meeting his eyes so that he'd know she meant it.

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demonboyking
2009-10-03 06:21 pm UTC (link)

Sam looked around the room, spotting Shannon and giving her a small smile in return. Seeing her handwriting over the journals had been a huge relief, but seeing her here in person made him physically relax. "Hey," he said quietly as she moved towards him and stopped. The awkwardness from the fall out of their fight settled around them and Sam wasn't sure what to say.

"I missed you too," Sam said softly, his smile widening slightly before she said she loved him. Sam stilled, surprised into silence as she wrapped her arms around him and pressed her face against his shoulder. His arms found their way around her and he hugged her close, burying his nose in her hair. He swallowed, trying to work through his own feelings. He'd only said "I love you" to one girl and losing her had been the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. He didn't know if he could go through that again with Shannon, especially when losing her was such a huge possibility in this place.

Except the decision wasn't really his. Finding himself in a world without Shannon in it had made him realize just how much space she'd taken up inside his heart. He'd gone from having a Dean shaped hole in it to having a Shannon shaped one in a space of hours and he knew if given the choice he'd choose the world with his brother in it, but that didn't mean that he wouldn't feel the emptiness of where she should've been.

She apologized and looked up at him and for a moment all he could do was look down at her before Sam's eyebrows moved together and his look softened into one that was almost apologetic.

"I love you too," he said, his voice barely audible. It hurt to say, not only because it meant that somewhere along the way he'd allowed himself to love someone other than Jess, but because it felt like he was inviting the possibility of bad things to happen because of it. He knew it should feel good to know that she loved him the way he loved her, but in reality it was canceled out by the anxiety of knowing that their feelings for each other would be a weakness that would be eventually exploited and undoubtedly used to hurt one another.

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ballerinadreams
2009-10-09 01:04 am UTC (link)

Sam's response of hugging her closer and nuzzling into her hair was the opposite of what Shannon expected. She'd been afraid that his response would be more shocked and afraid of what it might mean for them as roommates and friends; as residents in the Glass Cage to take it as a positive admission on her part. The fact that he was taking it for what it was and, not only that but, he was returning the sentiment, however quietly, Shannon's heart swelled. In response to his sentiment, Shannon clung to him. When Sam said it, it felt real. It felt like he really meant it.

"We're gonna be okay, Sam," she said quietly. "I know it. We have to be." She paused and looked up at him. "I've never said that to anybody before. I mean, like, other than family. And it wasn't scary for me to say and I meant it...that has to mean something good, doesn't it?" she asked.

Her eyes searched his then to see if he understood where she was coming from. It didn't matter to her, really, if he agreed with her that things were going to be okay, but it did matter to her whether he at least saw it, even somewhere in his eyes rather than from his lips, that there was even a sliver of a possibility that they would be. For a moment, she just looked at him, chewing her bottom lip uncertainly, waiting for some sort of absolution. And then, a moment later, her lips were on his and she wanted nothing more than to just melt into the moment and forget all else.

"You mean the world to me," she whispered. "I finally see it and...I never thought I'd say anything good about this place, but there it is. I'm at least glad that it brought me to you." A ghost of a smile passed over her lips then and she looked down sheepishly.

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demonboyking
2009-10-14 05:57 am UTC (link)

Sam looked down at Shannon and felt his chest tighten when she said they were going to be okay. He wasn't so sure that they would be. The hope that had been instilled in him at seeing his brother alive had almost been canceled out by the knowledge that Shannon might not exist in time outside of her own or Vas. If there was a way out, it might be the end of this thing that even the act of acknowledging made him feel pulled in a million different directions. Still, looking down at Shannon's face and knowing that the expression of hope there was because of him made him unable to fight the small bit that was rising in him. Maybe they could figure things out. Maybe they'd find a way to make things work. He nodded. "Yeah," he said after licking his lips. "Yeah, that has to mean something."

He shut his eyes when she kissed him, his arms pulling her closer as he tried to drown out all of the what ifs and worries that were trying to crowd his mind and concentrate on the one good thing that had come out of being here. Shannon was here and she said she loved him the way he loved her. That had to count for something. That had to mean that no matter how many terrible things were thrown their way that they could still make something good out of it. She pulled away and whispered exactly what he was thinking. He watched her look down, not used to the shy movement from Shannon and he felt his chest loosen a little at the movement. He did love her.

He reached out for her, pulling her close again as he dipped his mouth to the exposed part of her neck. He didn't trust himself to speak, wasn't sure that he'd be able to say more than had already be said, but he could show her how he felt.

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ballerinadreams
2009-10-18 02:13 am UTC (link)

It was at that moment that Shannon realized she knew next to nothing about Sam. She couldn't read his expression; didn't know what he was thinking at that moment as he looked back at her. Shannon could only tell that there wasn't hope in his eyes, at least...she didn't think so. But, he agreed with her none the less and she hoped that he meant it and wasn't just patronizing her. She hoped it was the former.

Closing her eyes, Shannon let out a soft, airy breath and held Sam close as he kissed her neck. She wet her lips and moved her hands up under the back of his shirt, feeling his skin for, as far as she could remember, the first time. Her nails pressed lightly into his back and raked gently down to the waistband of his jeans again. "Sam," she whispered and pulled back to look him in the eye, searching his eyes. For what, she wasn't entirely sure. After a short pause, she brought her lips to his again, brushing them gently against his and moving one of her hands from his waist up into his hair.

Swallowing thickly, Shannon pulled back slightly. "Please don't ever leave me," she whispered, lips brushing his earlobe. With that, she pulled away a little more and looked back at him with question in her eyes. She wasn't asking him to take care of her anymore or to be her buddy. Shannon just wanted to know that Sam wouldn't leave her behind, whether they were stuck here forever or got out. "Please."

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demonboyking
2009-10-20 05:40 am UTC (link)

Sam felt a thrill run down his spine at the feel of Shannon's fingers moving down his back. He widened his mouth against her skin, kissing her as his hands at her waist moved slightly under her shirt, the pads of his thumbs brushing her stomach underneath.

She pulled back and whispered his name and he thought he understood what she was trying to say. He wished he had the words to say it for them, but there were none. The three most important ones had already been said and Sam wanted nothing more than to believe that was all that mattered. She kissed his lightly and then whispered in his ear.

Sam's face softened and he met her eyes as she pulled back to look at here. There was nothing that was going to take him away from her. Not if he had a say in it. The worst part was he didn't know if he would.

He swallowed. "I promise," he said, his voice low but determined as he moved forward and put his forehead against hers. "I won't ever leave you."

He hoped it was a promise he could keep.

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ballerinadreams
2009-10-22 10:34 pm UTC (link)

The sensation of Sam's thumbs on her stomach made Shannon's breath catch and her heart race. If that wasn't enough, his mouth on her neck was something a little more from Sam than Shannon was used to and she let out a soft hum, chewing her bottom lip.

Something softened in Sam's expression - she thought maybe his eyes - when she asked him to promise not to leave her. As he rested his forehead against hers and said he'd never leave her, Shannon closed her eyes and let out a soft breath. "Thank you," she whispered back. Even if Shannon didn't come out and say it aloud, she knew how hard it was for Sam to promise her something when both of them knew there was no way of knowing whether it was an empty promise or whether it was something he would actually be able to keep.

Slowly, Shannon pulled away and looked into his eyes. Wetting her lips, Shannon swallowed, a very small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "Thank you," she repeated. "You have no idea how much that means. And, Sam if - when - we get out of here, can I...I mean," she paused and looked down, wrinkling her nose as she blushed. "Can I come with you?" she finished, looking back up at him uncertainly.

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demonboyking
2009-11-08 06:43 pm UTC (link)

Shannon thanked him and a small frown crossed his lips. He didn't want her to thank him for staying with her. He wasn't doing her a favor as much as carrying out a necessity. In this place Shannon was one of the few things he still cared about, if he wasn't doing everything he could to protect her, to be with her, he'd be buried under massive guilt. Even when he'd been upset with her for the way she'd reacted to Dean's death he had felt the worry pulling at him at the back of his mind. He should be thanking her for giving him something to fight for, otherwise he wasn't sure he wouldn't have given up more than he already had.

She pulled away and thanked him again. Sam parted his lips to say her name, but she continued, quieting him. He watched her as she looked down, color spreading across her cheeks and felt his chest constrict a little at just how pretty she looked right then.

"Yes," he heard himself whisper as he reached up to rub her cheek lightly with his thumb. Logic told him that might not be possible. She hadn't been in the future he'd been shown. Even if they did get out of this place, he didn't think that being on the road or being with a wanted fugitive was the kind of life that Shannon was asking for right at this moment. He wasn't even sure how much she new about what him and Dean did, though he imagined that Dean had told her something.

Right now though, here in this moment, it didn't really matter. What mattered was that she wanted to be with him, even after this Hell was over, and he wanted to be with her. Sam closed the distance between them and kissed her again. He pulled back and met her eyes for a moment before sliding his hands under her shirt again and pushing it upwards. It wasn't that he was trying to cheapen the moment as much as finally accept that he wanted her. That he loved her and he had for a while.

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