After the fourth night of barely managing even two hours of sleep, waking up from nightmares that she couldn’t seem to shake, Sabrina knew she needed to talk to Dan. The dreams were bad enough but it was the waking remnants of them that were throwing Sabrina for the biggest loop. Every so often she would glance at Nick and see him as the stone statue or Roz as nothing but bones. The mortuary would suddenly be covered in vines, an emptiness to it that she couldn’t shake even when she knew it was full of life. Even wandering the forest in Vallo didn’t give her any sort of reprieve. There she thought she’d spot one of the used-to-be-humans scouring the place for blood, flowers where their eyes had used to be.
It wasn’t real, she knew that, but it felt real in those moments and nothing that she had done before when she’d first lived out those memories was helping this time around. Dan had gotten her into therapy shortly after she’d gotten them the first time around, but the methods her therapist had taught her weren’t working anymore. And she really didn’t want to start heading back out into the forest to lay under the moon again. It wasn’t like that had helped much the last time.
So she went to the clinic after school and sat out in the waiting room, giving him a gentle ping that she was there and wanted to talk to him whenever he had a moment.
It had been a relatively busy day at the clinic so far - things tended to come and go in waves, however, depending on what was happening in the forest (it was where any monster mashes tended to take place, and also things like death rings with zombie creatures crawling along the grass and over the tree trunks). The more Outlanders who jumped into battle, the more injuries to treat - some were bad enough to need a hospital right away, others were fine to be treated at the clinic; they had beds here, and capabilities to perform surgery, but in true emergencies the ER was often best. Otherwise, locals came in with the flow of Outlanders just looking for standard medical care - physicals, exams, bloodwork, wash and rinse and repeat.
Dan enjoyed it though - he was steadily working through nursing school, and experience at the clinic was the best kind of hands-on practice. Especially when it came to the science of sleep.
After stopping to take sort of a late lunch break, he was back on his rounds again and had just finished putting on a cast (not on him, a kid who broke their arm - seemed to be a lot of that going around, but this was just during playtime at school) when he felt the familiar nudge attached to that connection he shared with Sabrina. She was nearby - in the waiting room, in fact. So he went out there, in scrubs with a medical supply tool belt slung around his waist - never knew when you needed some extra tape, or various other doodads. Claire had even included that belt, and the scrubs (mostly a blue blob) when she drew Dan wearing a cape as a superhero because he ‘saved all the people’; the drawing was currently hanging in the Snooze Room.
“Hey,” he greeted, approaching Sabrina. “Everything okay?”
Sabrina shook her head, not quite trusting her voice for a moment. Some small part of her wondered if this was a silly idea, which was ridiculous. Helping people with sleep was what Dan did. But sometimes Sabrina wondered if she’d asked too much of him. He’d helped take care of her so much over the last year, been there for her in so many different ways, that at times she wondered if she was a burden. Especially after her aunts had left. It was a ridiculous notion--she knew that--but it didn’t stop it from festering inside of her every so often.
Especially when she had been missing as much sleep as she had. Rolling around with memories that weren’t exactly fresh but weren’t old either of both of her fathers outright rejecting her. But she wasn’t going to focus on that right then, didn’t need to add it to what was already clouding her mind.
“Not really, no. Can we talk? Or do you not have time? I can schedule an appointment?”
“I always have time for you,” Dan replied, and it was a pretty established fact that he’d do just about anything for Sabrina. They’d been together since the beginning for him, for the most part - and after recently passing the year anniversary of time spent in Vallo, she was clearly a significant part of the family he’d built here. For both him and Allison - they wouldn’t continue to stay in the mortuary if they didn’t love her as their own.
Something felt off - overly taut violin strings, the energy and atmosphere vibrating, everything curled up and twisted in a mental Charley horse. He’d noticed, ever since Sabrina returned from the party with all the other kids (he and Allison had stayed home with Claire, naturally - he did an arts and crafts project with Claire, even, so Allison could take a bubble bath or have five minutes to herself to do what she wanted to do) but he didn’t press about it. It seemed to be between the three of them, Sabrina and Nick and Roz.
He led the way back to the Snooze Room, shutting the door behind them - here they were, the lighting warm but the temperature comfortably cool. “Make yourself cozy - let’s talk,” he said, sitting in one of the chairs.
I always have time for you.
That eased some of the tension that was coiled tightly throughout her body and she sat down on the couch, picking up one of the cheerful pillows to hold tightly against her. She sat cross legged, looking around the room and spotted Claire’s drawing of Dan. Seeing it there tugged a small smile from Sabrina before she let her gaze drop, knowing she needed to talk.
“That death circle--you could only enter it if you’ve died before. We didn’t know that at first.” Some people hadn’t been able to cross but Sabrina hadn’t thought much of it until that little tidbit had been figured out. “Nick and Roz went across with me and well, figured out that they had died at some point.”
She sunk back against the couch, remembering their confusion, the looks directed toward her when they had wanted answers and she’d pushed them off. There was the circle and the monsters inside of it to focus on at first, but mostly Sabrina hadn’t wanted to explain, to bring up the memories that she’d worked hard to slowly come to grips with and have them bulldoze over her again.
“It finally came to a head at the party. I told them both what had happened.” She hugged the pillow tighter, her breathing coming out harsher as she remembered those conversations and the pain that had lashed through her at having to recall those events. “The nightmares won’t go away. I see them when I’m awake now, Dan. Everywhere. That didn’t happen last time.”
She felt like she was drowning now, being constantly pulled through some undertow with the waves crashing over top of her, dragging her back down and never quite able to get enough air to keep going. “I can’t get a handle on it now.”
Oh, so that’s what it was - and it seemed to take a toll on all of them, considering Roz had left the mortuary to give Sabrina space and stay someplace else for a few days. Dan remembered when Sabrina struggled with those memories - having to split herself in two, to weave time itself (a dangerous undertaking no matter who you were) in order to fix the world. He’d convinced her to try therapy, just once, and luckily she’d taken to it and it seemed to help; she’d been sleeping better, spending her nights in an actual bed and not laying beneath the glow of a milky moon.
“You can. You will,” he insisted, leaning forward and placing his hands over hers. He believed that - believed she could work through this grief too; it was difficult to mend a heart that kept breaking, but she’d replaced the hurt and the pain with something good before and she could do so again. “We’ll just go about in a different way.”
This was a problem that magic couldn’t fix, but maybe there was a way for him to help that didn’t involve magic at all. What he’d been doing with the others who couldn’t sleep, when they came to him at the clinic. “I’ve been working with Nick on lucid dreaming,” he said. “I could show you too, and once you learn - the next time you have a nightmare you can change it. Learning takes some time but if both of you are doing it - you can support each other too.”
Sabrina nodded at that, wiping at her eyes as they started to water. She would try anything so the memories would stop rushing at her and she trusted Dan, knew his methods had been working with Nick. Talking with her therapist about it hadn’t helped much earlier in the week. She could give this a try.
“What do I have to do?” she asked, only a little disappointed that it couldn’t be a quick fix. But she’d slowly started to learn that the quick fixes never seemed to last. The ones that took longer, that sunk deep into her bones had a great chance of really lasting. “Cause I don’t think I can keep this up for much longer before I just collapse.”
She was so tired, physically and mentally, her body desperate for a reprieve.
“I’ll give you some assignments to get your brain kickstarted so you can start learning to lucid dream - but here, come take a nap first. You need some sleep. No nightmares, I promise - I’ll watch over you.” Dan got up and turned back the bed covers, fluffing the pillows - the sheets had been changed recently, and instead of being printed with clouds they were galaxy sheets, moons printed in various shapes against a soft white background; the pillowcases matched as well.
It wouldn’t be a quick fix, no. There was no spell or magical incantation - just some discipline and marveling at what the brain truly could do if you put some effort in. But a couple of weeks of working on this was well worth the restful nights - if Sabrina wasn’t sleeping soundly it would affect her schoolwork and her social life and pretty much every other aspect. She didn’t deserve that. Vallo was ridiculous enough as it was, giving people plenty to be concerned with besides tossing and turning.
She kicked off her shoes and climbed under the covers. It was weird to be in a room that wasn't her own to try and get some sleep but Sabrina had to admit that the bed was pretty comfortable. And so were the pillows. The thought of actually closing her eyes and trying to get some sleep kind of terrified her though.
It was one thing to wake up shaking and crying in the safety of her home. She wasn't sure she wanted to do that where all of these other people were.
But she trusted Dan.
"What do I do now?"
He dragged a chair over to her bedside - and, admittedly, he’d spent a pretty penny on that mattress and bedframe (especially the mattress) but it was definitely worth the cost and using the clinic’s black card. The mattress tended to mold and shape to whomever was lying in it, practically hugging them and easing any tension or sore spots. Maybe it was magic, maybe it wasn’t - but whatever it was, it definitely worked.
Sabrina looked young like this - she was young, technically, even though she’d live a very long time and aged slowly - and Dan was reminded of the times he sat by Claire’s bedside too, when she wasn’t feeling well. When her tummy hurt or she had a fever and they had to get through it together - at three in the morning, and he’d be up all night watching over her. Just like he would be now.
Though this time it’d be making sure Sabrina didn’t have any nightmares - like tech support remaining on the line when you rebooted, just the psychic version. “Close your eyes and think of something happy - a good memory,” he said, helping to tuck her in nice and snug. Usually he let people pick their own, but he had so many good memories with Sabrina there were plenty he could offer up in suggestion. “Like when I danced with you at the wedding. Or the first musical you were in and I promised to be in the front row and I was. Or breakfast - not the sweet potato pancakes, but chocolate chip kind because I wouldn’t make them for anyone but you,” he grinned, voice that gravelly timbre it always was but warm - a log fire in the winter, warm as any parent’s should be.
She smiled softly at his suggestions, wrapping her arms around the pillow as she curled up on her side. She had so many good memories that involved Dan and none of them would twist into anything hard and unforgiving like so many of her other ones. Or least she hoped they wouldn’t. Breakfast had turned into a horror show while she was still awake earlier that day.
Sabrina settled on one of their frequent trips to the Grease Bucket. She didn’t really remember the conversation the two of them had then, but the laughter echoed freely in her mind as the memory took hold, the taste and smells of their burgers, fries and shakes filling her. It was easy to fall into the safety and normality of that moment and Sabrina allowed it to pull her under, confident that Dan would make sure it didn’t turn into anything awful.
Just going to sleep. His voice was in Sabrina’s mind, his thoughts were hers - that link solidified, the connection sustained; when he spoke, it was like those words were hers too. Nothing to be scared of. Just going to sleep...
His hand smoothed her hair back away from her face as she hugged the pillow - being at the Grease Bucket happened to be filed under some of his favorite Vallo memories too, where laughter felt like sunshine, those happy and contented feelings a boomerang and they came back right to hit you in the feel-good spots, wherever your soul was.
He waited until she was asleep, after he’d nudged her there and she had floated away on a cloud and into a deep slumber - but he stayed with her, loosely linked, just in case. As promised.