Matthew Lynch :))))))) (dreamedup) wrote in valloic, @ 2021-01-21 21:20:00 |
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Entry tags: | !: action/thread/log, the raven cycle: matthew lynch |
Who: Matthew Lynch
What: Ruminations on staying awake
Where: Around the Barns
When: Snowglobe Plot Day 1 & 2
When Niall Lynch died, the Barns resonated with that loss. It made sense, after all, Niall had poured himself into the place, he had literally pulled it out of his dreams. And so his loss reflected in the farm, the cows that one day, simply laid down in the fields and fell asleep, the other dreamed animals that slipped into slumber--even the trees themselves seemed to droop, as if they too had fallen under the curse.
On the third day without her dreamer Aurora Lynch closed her eyes and slept, not to be woken until she was taken to Cabeswater, a dreamed place. A dream in a dream.
What did that mean for Matthew?
Matthew missed Ronan. Ronan’s love and dedication to their family farm, and to the people who lived there, was fierce and unshakable. Matthew missed their inside jokes, and the way Ronan would laugh at the terribly corny jokes Matthew found hilarious. Their complicated handshake. Matthew loved his brother with everything in him, he missed him, he worried about him.
But Ronan had dreamed up Matthew, a three year old’s winter solstice wish for a brother and friend. Which meant that Matthew was now a dream without a dreamer. And he was so very scared.
He had watched a tv show once where the main character had been having those dreams where it seemed as if you had woken up and were going about the day, until one tweak proved something foul. So the character had written a sign above her bed, rationalizing with some scientific evidence that Matthew admittedly hadn’t paid any attention to but the crux was that your brain couldn’t read in a dream. If the first thing she saw was the sign, and she could read it, she was awake. On the first day of Ronan and Blue’s mysterious disappearance, Matthew pocketed a Sharpie and a stack of Post-It notes.
The first one note happened after Matthew cleaned barn stalls and fed the chickens. He leaned against a gate post and closed his eyes for a minute, hurting and sad--
You’re awake.
He scribbled it down and handed it to Opal, who had attached herself to Matthew’s side. It was what Ronan would have wanted, and made Adam relieved to know someone had eyes on her, and besides that, Matthew liked her. And maybe like gravitated to like, who knew. “Give this to me when I ask you for it, okay?” he asked Opal, half certain she would...half certain she would eat it.
The second and third note went on the gate posts after Matthew caught himself watching the cows, carefully studying their movements. And when one fell asleep, only to be prodded awake by another, Matthew blinked hard, wiped his eyes, and stuck the Post-Its on.
You’re awake. You’re awake
Number four went on his dresser, after Matthew started getting ready for bed and he could hear bits and pieces of Gansey and Adam’s conversation, enough to know that no one had any answers.
You’re awake.
Five, six, seven, eight, nine, and ten went on his bedroom wall, his alarm clock, his lacrosse trophy, his bedroom door, and under his pillow. Five notes for the five times Matthew woke up in the middle of the night awoken out of fear for Ronan and Blue, but also out of some sense of self-preservation. To make sure he still could.
You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake. You’re awake.
A cereal box after Matthew caught the brightly colored image starting to blur.
You’re awake.
Folded up in his pocket, stained blue from a Gusher from the tree Ronan had dreamed from his birthday.
You’re awake.
Pocket again, after a goat had eaten the first one.
You’re awake.
The cover of a notebook.
You’re awake.
His baseball bat.
You’re awake.
His bedroom ceiling.
You’re awake.
The bathroom mirror.
You’re awake.
“You’re awake,” he told his reflection.
But for how long?