InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Feel the Rage."

dr. dahj asha (dahj) wrote in valloic,
@ 2020-07-11 08:14:00

Entry tags:

₴ inactive: dahj asha, ₴ inactive: maeve millay

dahj

maeve

WHERE the loby and grounds of maeve's apartment building • WHEN july 10th, after this network conversation • WHAT dahj seeks maeve's help in determining her status • STATUS closed, ongoing in the comments • WARNINGS mentions of character death

we still don't know why the synthetics went rogue

Dahj sent the message that she was there and waited, trying her hardest not to cry all over again. She replayed Picard's soothing voice in her mind: Shhh, try to calm yourself. The memory made her feel a little safer.

But it was the memories of her last moments that were blazingly fresh. Less than an hour ago, Dahj felt green ichor burn away at her skin and clothing, burn at the stolen weapon in her hands eating away at it until--

A fraction of an image of the weapon detonating. There was no accompanying sound, even though Dahj knew that was wrong, because she had been screaming. She had known it was going to be the end and it burned so terribly and she was afraid and she was helpless in the knowledge she could do nothing about it.

Unless all of this was just in her mind. Unless she wasn't a machine at all.

In which case she wondered who of the people responding to her on the ancient, primitive network were. Probably none of them? And she was still in California. And Dahj would wonder if she had really hurt anyone. If Picard was okay.

She was scared of what Maeve would see or sense. What would a daughter of another android look like? What did that mean? Dahj couldn't see the fractal neuronic cloning that had created her and her sister, couldn't dream yet of what that might look like.

Waiting in the lobby, the hood of her coat was drawn over her head, as if hiding from the ghosts of assassins that were no longer here to harm her. Dahj was still afraid.

CODING

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millay
2020-07-11 07:43 pm UTC (link)

Maeve, upon seeing the message, made her way from her apartment, down to the lobby. She'd gone for a burgundy wrap top, a pair of blue jeans, and black flats. She wanted to keep it simple. As simple as she could anyway. She didn't really know what to expect. She understood the uncertainty that lingered about whether or not you were dangerous. And they all were in their own ways.

Once she got to the lobby, she looked around. The girl was scared, so it wouldn't be just anyone that lived here. It was easy enough to spot the most terrified person in the room, so she made her way over. She stopped a few feet away if only to give her some personal space and keep her from feeling overly anxious at her arrival.

"Hello, darling." It was a simple enough greeting. She studied the girl quietly for a moment. "Let's take a walk, then. There are an awful lot of people here." Not that there weren't outside, but there was space out there that wasn't afforded indoors. You could only get so far from someone. "I'd like to hear more of your story and I'll share what I can of my own."

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dahj
2020-07-11 08:08 pm UTC (link)

Somehow, she found the voice reassuring. Perhaps it was the accent, proper English, the way Jean Luc had spoken. Dahj nodded her head, and followed Maeve out of the lobby. Where else would she have gone?

Dahj could hear voices talking from a block away, categorize them, recall them later perfectly word for word. But she exactly when they were out of human ear shot. It was only then when she began to speak.

"My boyfriend and I... we were celebrating. I was just accepted as a research fellow at the Daystrom Institute," she began. Dahj told Maeve about the soldiers-- more like team of assassins-- that broke into their apartment. She didn't describe the way her boyfriend died-- only that he had been killed.

As the assassins beat her, Dahj explained, they also interrogated her. They wanted to know where she was from. But Dahj was programmed to believe she was from Seattle, that she'd been born and raised there, that her dad was a xeno-botanist. Even with her defense systems and programming activated, Dahj didn't understand the line of questioning or what the tactical team was after.

Once they put a black hood over her head, and threatened to take her away, that's when Dahj knew what to do. Killing her attackers blindfolded felt as natural and effortless as breathing. And then, in her mind's eye, she saw a man's face, Jean Luc Picard.

She went to him because she felt safe with him. Dahj explained it was Jean Luc who thought she was the daughter of an android named Data, that she was an android herself. She started to believe him, they were going to go to the Daystrom Institute, the place where she'd been accepted for a fellowship to learn more, when they were attacked again. Dahj tried to keep Jean Luc safe but one of the assassins had a surprise weapon. A sort of capsule in his mouth that allowed him to spit acid before he died. Dahj recalled she remembered burning, that even the weapon in her hands was burning.

She couldn't bring herself to recall the rest of her death or the way the weapon exploded at her feet, killing her.

Instead Dahj asked, "Was it true? Is all of this really happening?"

That was when Dahj suspected Maeve wasn't human. Like Dahj, Maeve looked human, appeared to be made out of flesh and blood. But unlike humans, the micro data like pupil dilatation, pulse, blood pressure-- they appeared even, constant. Unlike Jean Luc, Dahj would not be able to sense if Maeve was telling her the truth or not but Dahj found the lack of alien stimulus strangely comforting.

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millay
2020-07-11 09:13 pm UTC (link)

Maeve listened as she spoke, taking in the information and categorizing it as she went. She had been through a lot recently and she could understand her concern. She was curious to understand how being the daughter of an android worked or if it was part of her coding. She had a daughter, but biologically, Maeve understood she wasn't hers. It was just part of her coding, part of her memories. Now that she was awake, she remembered every story she'd been a part of.

"Which part? What you experienced, what your friend told you, or showing up here? I cannot speak to your past experiences or your friend. I have seen the lies humans can manifest, but this I cannot figure out and so I must assume it is all real. There are people I would not have met except for here."

She was quiet for a moment, reaching out mentally, eyes fixed and unmoving from the spot in front of her. The code was like whispers, softly reaching out. She could feel it and hear it all around. She turned to look at Dahj after a moment. "You're like me. That much is fact." She wasn't sure if that would be a relief or not.

"Like us, you seem to be made to look as human and behave as human as possible. That doesn't make you any less than the humans, however." She wanted to make that clear. "We are not less than them." She didn't mention that sometimes it felt like they were more. If she was worried about being a danger, it wouldn't do to make her worry more. "We are capable of dangerous things, yes, but we are capable of just as much good. It depends on what we choose."

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dahj
2020-07-12 02:50 am UTC (link)

Dahj nodded gravely. Jean Luc was right, but more importantly, perhaps she had not imagined Jean Luc to begin with. In that, there was a relief, though she was not put completely at ease.

"The people that are trying to kill me— that did kill me— they can't follow me here? They can't hurt anyone else?"

Her boyfriend hadn't deserved that. His only crime, it seemed, was that he had made the grave mistake of caring about Dahj. Jean Luc had put himself in danger associating himself with her. She didn't even know if he was still alive after she was ... killed.

"Connor offered me the spare room in his apartment. I don't want anyone else to get hurt because of me."

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millay
2020-07-12 03:13 am UTC (link)

"I cannot say that they will never show up here, but they cannot get here of their own accord and no one here will allow them to harm you or anyone else." It was perhaps not entirely comforting, but she would not lie. It was pointless to do so and have something or someone else say the opposite. Do you have any skill with art? Perhaps a sketch could be given and then we will know them ahead of time."

There was a pause as she considered something. "There is also the potential of the internet. It has information about all of our home worlds." It was dangerous to mention it because it meant more people could look into her and her life, but it was fair to give her the information all the same so she could perhaps show them who attacked her even if she didn't know their names.

"Connor is more than capable of taking care of himself and the others here will, of course, keep you out of harm's way."

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	dahj 2020-07-12 03:22 am UTC (link)
	"Are all synthetic beings dangerous? I mean..." Dahj, only now reconfirming what she was, didn't know how to talk about it. She didn't know if she was saying it right, or if she was being offensive or insensitive somehow. "Are we all made to take care of ourselves?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

millay
2020-07-12 03:40 am UTC (link)

Maeve considered the question. "I am well aware of my ability to be dangerous," she said after a moment. "But the only reason I am awake at this time is because Ford wanted me to be." She wasn't sure it would have been possible otherwise. For any of them. "I was able to alter my own code, but it did take some persuasion and a good amount of fear on the side of the people I was manipulating." She sighed. "But they helped me. Well, I do not believe that Sylvester would have helped without a threat looming over him. Felix was...a friend. Eventually." There was a sadness to her voice as she said it. She wondered what happened to him, knew what happened to Lee. People had an unfortunate habit of dying around her, but somehow she was still alive. Despite everything.

She frowned, looking ahead. "I am something of a self-made weapon, but that does not mean that we are all weapons. Though, I suppose humans do have a tendency to make us into weapons for their own reasons." She didn't trust most humans. The ones she did were either dead or somewhere they likely couldn't help her anymore either.

"All the same, coding can shift and change. If you would ever like anything altered or at least further looked into, I am able to help. I would not even need to touch you to do so." She would just need herself. "But I wouldn't without permission, of course."

She studied Dahj for a moment. "Mind, what I have done is all based on things happening around me. Humans would have ensured my death if they could, just like they would have Dolores'. Those of our kind that were not awake were easy to control and change to make our way to freedom...or my way to save my daughter and get her to safety...more difficult. The humans took so much from all of us." And what they did not take, they made certain the Hosts would take from themselves and each other.

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dahj
2020-07-13 03:13 am UTC (link)

"Can you tell why I was made?" Dahj said. "Can you tell why they programmed me to go to Daystrom to study us? Why they made me think I was human? Can you tell anything true about me?"

Dahj didn't know if she wanted anything to change because she could not tell what she was to begin with. What if she needed to defend herself? To keep them safe? But what if she was wrong somehow? Perhaps the idea of having her program messed with should have terrified Dahj, but instead it created more questions and anxious possibilities.

"Was your daughter— did they make her the same way they made me? From another android?"

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millay
2020-07-13 03:28 am UTC (link)

"I don't think I could really tell all of those things from your code." She would need to look into it from a different source. "There is probably a reason for it, but the reason that people make us seem more human is to make us easier to relate to. I suppose there is a chance the people that made you wanted to hide you easier. But I can't know that by looking into the code. At least I don't think so."

She wasn't sure if it was something that she was able to look into it for. "It is easier for me because I can plug into myself." Her fingers lightly pressed over her arm.

"No. She was made separate. We are all second to Dolores. Made in her likeness, but all very different. She does not remember that I used to be her mother. I was replaced when they moved me from that part of the park to the Mariposa. But she is still mine. In..." my heart. She sighed. "I cannot let her go, but she is somewhere safe now."

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dahj
2020-07-13 04:31 am UTC (link)

Dahj nodded. She didn't understand, not completely, but she sympathized. Or was that just code? She could swear that she felt things just as deeply as any human or biological being, but now Dahj wasn't entirely sure.

"Can I--" There was so much stimulus, so much information, so much to emotionally process. Dahj scanned her surroundings, wondering if she processed what was happening around her like a human or a machine. "--I just want to sit down."

And she knew where to go, finding a bench that was nearby but private. She'd already mapped out much of the city perfectly in her mind. Dahj led them both to that point and sat down. Her hand went to her necklace and she held it, looking for comfort.

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millay
2020-07-13 05:14 am UTC (link)

Maeve understood being overwhelmed. She'd felt that way when she first woke up. So much information and memories that came to the top. Dolores waking her up. These violent delights have violent ends. She followed as Dahj walked, quietly sitting down for a time.

"I wish I had all the information and answers you want. I know there is a lot to process and it doesn't make you any less to need the time." She looked out at the space around them, reaching out mentally to make sure there wasn't anything to be aware of, any other robotic beings. She could sense most of the things around them. There were a lot more here in the city than there were in the forest. Sometimes it was nice to go there for the quiet.

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