WHO Vax'ildan and Shaun Gilmore WHERE The Xhorhaus, in the kitchen WHEN Backdated to an evening before Wild Vallo WHAT As Gilmore makes dinner and Vax acts as supervisor, they have a conversation about the future and how quickly it's arriving. ART CREDITHere WARNINGS None
Cooking had never been a skill of Vax's. When he lived in Byroden, meals were prepared by his mother (or were pie-related during festivals, of course). In Syngorn, for better or for worse, his meals were prepared by his father's cook. The years traveling with Vex usually meant rations, something his sister was able to hunt and prepare over a fire, or whatever their handful of coin might be able to buy at a tavern. Much of his time with Vox Machina was the same, save for when they started to spend more time in Scanlan's chicken meal-themed mansion, and so by the time he eased into a slower life in Vallo, he just hadn't had the experience to do much more than pour a bowl of cereal.
That was less so the case for Gilmore, Vax quickly found, but he also wasn't too surprised to learn it. Gilmore, he knew, was an actual adult and not a thrill seeker of an adventurer. Over the course of four years and their relationship, though, some of that had rubbed off on Vax and that was why he actually felt some confidence in the kitchen. He'd gotten pretty good at making pasta and not boiling the water over, for example.
Tonight, though, Vax's assistance in the kitchen was mostly spent handing Gilmore things and sitting on the counter: two things he was particularly good with, especially since the latter was just a subset of leaning. The kids were all somewhere else, potentially doing homework or getting up to some mischief, and the other adults in the home were likewise elsewhere, leaving it just the two of them in the kitchen.
From his perch on the counter, Vax's feet swung back and forth, his heels bouncing off the lower cabinet as he idly passed the pepper grinder back and forth between his hands in a fidget sort of motion. The last couple of months had been weird ones, particularly with the gap in his memory as he had apparently been some sort of extraterrestrial (or just living as such) and the knowledge that something similar could happen at any moment, and it felt good to have this moment of domestic normalcy to share with Gilmore. His partner had been a rock to him even back in Exandria, where their lives had gone a different path, and having him as a soft place to land here, in this topsy-turvy world, was a relief that he couldn't really put into words.
"I want you to know," Vax said, looking over at Gilmore as he worked, "that you are doing a very good job and I am here to support you in all your cooking endeavors." He gave a little smirk at that, apparently having taken up the job of supervisor in this evening's dinner prep.
Cooking had been something Gilmore had fond memories of, dating back to his mother and a menagerie of aunties (everyone even slightly older was an auntie, regardless of actual familial association) sitting around a table mixing and mashing herbs and spices and dough all while commiserating about family woes or gossiping about small village life. When he had left Shandal with barely two coppers to rub together, he had no choice but to cook for himself, making something out of nothing. Now, it was just something that Gilmore liked to do, something he very easily could have delegated to an unseen servant, but much like potion brewing he felt better when he made something on his own. Magic lived in the very marrow of his bones, but he was still very much human, and even for all of his love of luxury, there was something to be said for creating something with nothing more than your own two hands, creativity, and what was available to you.
It also didn't hurt that he had a ridiculously handsome 'helper' nearby.
"How blessed I find myself, bordering on rhapsodic, really, to have your support," Shaun drawled as he leaned over for a kiss. He handed over a spoon holding a sauce fragrant with garlic, cumin, turmeric, and a few dashes of other things he added by what the heart wanted. "What's it missing?"
Vax leaned over, hand resting on Shaun's to both steady the spoon and also be a convenient excuse to touch him (he would always take an excuse to do exactly that, when the situation called for it), and tasted the sauce. It was delicious, of course. He had long since determined that most if not everything that Gilmore whipped up was exactly that, but he nevertheless paused to consider, humoring the situation.
Of course, his lack of cooking skill meant that he was only marginally good at this particular game, so there wasn't a lot of confidence in his voice when he wagered, "Salt?"
A beat, before he added in a much more confident, albeit teasing, tone, "Unless that was a trick question, because it really is delicious already." He really had been serious about his supporting Gilmore and his cooking endeavors, apparently.
Gilmore's eyes narrowed at Vax's…educated assessment although this was entirely an act judging by the laughter that immediately broke through. The rush of love and affection that flooded through him wasn't a surprise by now. Sometimes it felt like champagne, bubbly and effervescent and giddy. Sometimes it felt like a stalwart shield, fierce and protective. And sometimes, like now, it just felt like home, because for all of Gilmore's teasing, with this–laughing while something simmered in a pan and one of the children's giggles echoing from somewhere in the house, he would absolutely call himself blessed.
Gilmore wasn't one to turn to worst case scenarios, in fact he was typically the one who could find the positives in a situation, or find reserves of strength for other people. And in actuality, he wasn't even thinking about worst case scenarios, he was more…reflecting. Their lives in Exandria obviously looked different from their lives in Vallo, but it had been quite some time since either one of them had been in Exandria that the here and now felt more important, more relevant, more real. If the glimpses of the future that they had had were any indication, Vax and Gilmore would continue to be here, for years and years, continuing to build a life and a family. But he would be lying if he said he hadn't been thinking of that other Vax, up in whatever a space station was, living some entirely different life. With how lucky they were, one small tug on the tapestry of life could have everything looking entirely different.
It was that thought that had him cupping Vax's face with his free hand, thumb running across his jaw, before he kissed him again. "A pinch more salt," Gilmore conceded, finally. "Only because you are very cute."
"I am very cute," Vax replied, the smugness that might accompany such a declaration cut by how he pressed his cheek harder into Gilmore's warm hand, how his eyes blinked open after closing during the kiss and showed nothing but clear adoration for the other man. Still, his lips turned up in a bit of a, dare one suggest, roguish smirk as he added, "Thank you for noticing."
Sneaking one more kiss before letting Gilmore get back to it, and carefully observing the obviously necessary pinch of salt, Vax cringed as a sudden high-pitched shriek echoed through the house, immediately followed by a peal of giggles and shouts. He paused, still for a moment before determining that no one was injured or upset, instead just a gaggle of children having fun. Between home with Velora, Kir, and Kiri and the youth center, he had become a bit fluent in such things; quite the thought, given how little experience with children he'd had prior to coming to Vallo and devoting so much of his time to them.
"Can you believe," he said as soon as it became clear that there was no escalation happening outside of the kitchen and deeper in the Xhorhaus, "that we will have a house that has double the kid noise we have now?"
"Good thing I've been perfecting Silence," Gilmore quipped wryly. But just as he'd done before, his true feelings broke through the show because although he could put on a good front, he felt everything deeply. And talking about their family, even though it wasn't in the immediate future combined with this tranquil, domestic scene, it was overwhelming in the best sort of way, that Gilmore for all of his words and eloquence couldn't properly describe all of it.
He gave the pan one more stir, deciding that what it really needed was to just simmer away and let the spices meld together, before leaning next to Vax on the counter–not near as charmingly as his partner made it seem, of course, but Shaun Gilmore made it his own. "No, I can't believe it, I try not to get lost in the future because what we have now is important but I also…don't want to do it wrong," he confessed. Those times the children had appeared, they weren't children at all, they were grown with their own talents and loves and strong personalities, and for as much as he wanted to have a calendar or timeline for them, it had been more important to enjoy the moment, learn who they were as individuals, learn who they were as a family.
Gilmore took Vax's hand, threading their fingers together as easily as breathing. "I don't want to miss them, I want to be living in the present, but I want to be ready and I don't want to miss them."
Despite Vax's penchant for jumping into trouble without a second thought--a drive that had gone down during his time in Vallo thanks to things like age and wisdom and being unable to bear seeing Gilmore's worried face when he woke up after another brush with pain and near death--he had often gotten stuck in the future. Much of his life had been spent wandering, with an undercurrent of aimlessness that left him feeling adrift. His purpose may have often been to stay by Vex's side and keep her safe before they eventually became world saving adventures alongside Vox Machina and a literal deal with Death, but there had been moments of unease, of not knowing where his journey was leading. It had been difficult, at times, to stay in the present when so much was looming and unknown in the future.
Now, though, Gilmore's words resonated within Vax's heart. He knew some of what the future held: a loud, chaotic, and beautiful family that he raised with Shaun through ample heaps of love and support. It was wonderful and he couldn't wait to have them all after the glimpses they had been gifted in the past, but he didn't want to lose sight of the journey. He enjoyed the walk he was on, because it was alongside Gilmore.
"Yes," Vax agreed after a moment, the thoughts in his mind all lovely and sentimental and therefore just a hair shy of overwhelming for a man who would run from rooms to avoid overwhelming. Instead, he let his fingers tighten around Gilmore's, then lifted his free hand to gingerly brush those fingertips along his cheekbone. "I don't want to miss the now, because I can't stop thinking about what comes next, but--yes. I want to be ready, too." He looked thoughtful a moment before adding, "I won't pretend maths was my strongest subject in school, but I've been doing some of it and making some predictions based off what little the kids would hint at. We might have to start soon, if we do want to be ready."
"I've been doing a bit of calculations on my end as well," Gilmore admitted–though, admittedly, his math skills tended to be more financial, he knew every coin that went in and out and those that were hidden under the mattress when Vax thought it was hilarious. It was a holdover from the days when Shaun Gilmore hadn't been a glorious and successful entrepreneur but had been instead a no one from a small dusty town with more magic and dreams than funds. Now it was less because of a lack of funds (or, really, not at all because of a lack of funds) but strictly because they had big goals and dreams to see to fruition.
That, of course, wasn't the math that Vax was speaking of, instead, it was about calendars and timing, and a sunset pink baby who soon, but not soon enough, would become theirs, to be joined shortly thereafter by her siblings. Jai and Via had seemed close in age and had acted as siblings who grew up with each other with shared stories and banter, which indicated that he at least wouldn't be far behind.
He took a page out of Vax's journal and leaned against the counter next to Vax, nudging him with a shoulder. The robe of the night was a rather fetching goldenrod with a mocha paisley print. "What does that look like to you?"
Vax took a moment to think that question over, giving it the time that it deserved. As he did, he leaned over to the side, bumping Gilmore with his own shoulder, before pausing, then straightening to reach out and grab the other man by the paisley printed robe, pulling him in closer. Sitting atop the counter as he was, he was gifted a slight bump in height that he normally wouldn't have had in comparison to his beloved, were he flat-footed on the ground. Vax let his gaze drop to where his fingers were tracing the pattern of the robe, before he raised his arms, circling them around Gilmore's neck and meeting his gaze.
Sometimes he thought about how he struggled with meeting anyone's gaze when talking about emotional, very big and real things. Now, with Gilmore, it was almost always as easy as breathing. What a thought.
"I think," he started, fingers skating around the base of Gilmore's neck, "it looks like us starting to get everything set with paperwork and an agency, in preparation for Via dropping into our lives. We don't know exactly when that will happen, but I like the thought of us not having to scramble but so much in that regard. I know that can all be complicated, so nothing wrong with getting ahead of it." Already, he started thinking about contacts that he had at work, people he could talk to or get references from.
"Talk paperwork to me, darling," Gilmore drawled, low and husky and absolutely over the top–to be clear, he was ridiculously organized and kept detailed records because of the shop and he never shied away from flirting with Vax, however in this specific instance he preferred actually talking about paperwork. Time and time again they agreed there was nothing more important than their family, present and future, and they weren't going to let something like documents get in the way. Already he was coming up with a system to keep track of things, everything in triplicate just in case.
He kissed Vax's cheek, right where the dusting of freckles hit "I was thinking that perhaps we should start considering the notion of a home of our own? Not that I don't love living here," he said, quickly, because it was true, he did. Gilmore liked the routine they had found with Essek and Caleb and the children, there was always an adult around for Kir, Kiri, and Velora, he liked having meals together and sitting around at night with a glass of wine discussing magical theories after the children went to bed. He didn't want to be far from the Widogasts, but judging by some of the stories Jai and Luka had recounted, they in fact wouldn't be. They would raise their kids together, and eventually become the family they already were. It was a truly lovely thing.
"It's simply that I think Caleb and Essek would banish us if we attempted to raise that brood here."
That was an amusing thought, Vax had to admit, but the laugh that he let out felt distant, just as his gaze was. He had been caught up on what Gilmore had just said: a home of our own.
Vax had always known that they would share one eventually. It was clear from the stories that they'd heard from the children they'd been lucky enough to meet and the sheer logistics of it all that eventually they would have their own abode. Knowing this was different than understanding it, though, and it wasn't until this moment that it really sunk in and it seemed to shift the world around Vax.
The last true home of his own that he'd had was a humble house in Byroden, his mother's home where she spent all hours sewing and juggling a pair of precocious twins. After that, he'd had places where he'd lived, but they weren't what he'd call a home of his own. Under his father's roof in Syngorn had been miserable for the vast majority of the time, then after that he had spent most nights out in the woods or sharing the tiniest room in an inn with Vex. From there, he'd had a room in a keep in Emon, a room in a castle in Whitestone, a room in a magnificent mansion, a room shared with Keyleth in Zephrah, and now a room in the Xhorhaus. They had been very good rooms, all of which were surrounded by an abundance of love and family and happiness, but had they been a true home, something to call his own? Zephrah might have one day been that, however fate had interfered--both in being called away to the Raven Queen's side and being swept away to Vallo.
Vax swallowed, his gaze dropping a moment as he let himself feel his feelings as all of these thoughts swept over and through him, before looking back to Gilmore. When he spoke, his voice was soft, thoughtful, maybe even vulnerable. "I've not had a home that felt like my own since I was a child. I'd rather like to make and share one with you."
Gilmore waited, he would always wait for Vax, but especially now when the full spectrum of emotion flashed across his face in seconds. He'd thought he'd gotten fairly good at reading Vax and knowing when he needed to push a little and when he needed to give Vax a moment to collect himself. When he needed to cup the back of Vax's neck and press their foreheads together so Vax had two solid points of contact to ground himself. In contrast, Shaun was never really one to shy away from his emotions, always the loudest laugh in the room, so easily moved to tears he was an expert on waterproof mascara. Like now, the way his heart practically broke for Vax, squeezed so tightly it was like a physical thing, this love of his felt so all-encompassing.
"Then that's what we'll do," Gilmore said, as if it was the easiest thing in the world. Because it was. It didn't really matter the logistics, he could figure those out, paperwork, finances, whatever else, all of that was so small and insignificant in the face of giving Vax something he hadn't had in a very long time. "Whatever you want. I want you to dream as wild as you can, and we'll make it happen."
He kissed Vax then as if to seal the promise, not the first one he'd make, not the last one he'd make, and pulled away to chuckle and carefully wipe under his kohl rimmed eyes. "You can't say things like that and not expect me to not immediately fly into action, darling! Gods, I should be planning right this minute!"
There was something about the fact that Gilmore would fly into action for Vax that just did settled the contentment in Vax's chest all the more. He really was as fate-touched as his goddess had claimed, though perhaps not in the ways she had intended when she'd dubbed him as such. That was all right, though. As far as Vax was concerned, there was no better definition to fate-touched or lucky as this moment, right now, sitting on the counter, kissing Shaun Gilmore, and basking in how emotional he could make the man.
Reaching out, Vax took each of Gilmore's hands in his own, fingers lacing together as he pulled them down just so he could free the path forward just to kiss him yet again. The food would need tending, as there were hungry children and wizards elsewhere in the house, but for this moment, Vax thought it was okay to be a bit greedy and take this.
"Maybe tomorrow we can start planning." Vax punctuated the suggestion with another kiss, then gave Gilmore a smile, wide and sparkling. "If I can dream as wild as I can, I need time to get really out there. This is a challenge, now."
It was a joke, a bit of a light teasing, but Vax couldn't keep silly for long. His face softened as he added, "I love you and am very grateful for you, you know."
"Whatever you want," Shaun repeated, smiling in return because with Vax happy and light and so full of hope it was hard not to be just as happy and impossible to not do everything he could to keep that expression on Vax's face. He could have asked for anything in the world, and Shaun Gilmore would have dumped all of the magic he had flooding through him into it to make it a reality, but building a house? To fill it with their family? That was easy.
They had a few minutes before the family they had now would come around for dinner, the children would set the table because they usually wanted to be helpful, the various cats would be underfoot and so it took no convincing for Gilmore to steal a kiss of his own. "I love you." He pulled away enough to arch an eyebrow, teasingly. "You say that now because you have yet to see the plans I have for a closet."