WHERE: Vallo: Crossed Quills WHEN: November 9th, 2023 (Backdated) WHAT: Zoro fucks up the plumbing in his apartment, so he takes over Sanji's instead of fixing it. WARNINGS: They're stupid, but that's it. STATUS: Complete
Later, when asked, Zoro would say that they didn't really have indoor plumbing back in his world. Which was both true and untrue, but what was true now was that his apartment was flooding because he had been throwing trash down his toilets instead of using the handy trash bins all over the place.
So did he do the responsible thing and call the landlord? No, obviously not. What he did do was take the few precious things he considered valuable to him and moved himself into the apartment next door - Sanji's. Because, to him, that made the most logical sense.
The apartments weren't very big, located above the Crossed Quills. Essentially were glorified bedrooms with a small living area and an attached bathroom. That was about it. Those that tended to live there ate in the tavern below and most were out and about during the daytime anyway. They were, essentially, a warm and safe(ish) place to sleep and shit.
So Zoro wasn't really left with many options to sleep, once he broke into Sanji's place. What passed for a couch would be worse than the floor for his back, so he tossed a couple of pillows down on the ground and made himself at home, around 11 that evening. It would be a few hours before the cook turned in for the night and he was hoping to be asleep before the man showed up with undoubtedly a million questions.
Sanji had his arms full of bags when he headed up to bed. They had day-old bread and pastries inside that were still perfectly good, better than that really, but they wouldn't sell downstairs when there was fresher pastries tomorrow. It was less of a waste if he brought them upstairs to feed to Zoro when he inevitably wandered by with a wad of money or whatever he'd collected in his random daily excursions.
With his arms full, Sanji juggled his keys and slipped inside the pitch black room. It only took a few steps for everything to go wrong. He tripped over something - someone - and the bags went flying. Immediately on the offensive, he wrestled the interloper across the floor.
"Who are you and what are you doing in my…Zoro?" He was embarrassed to realize he recognized the swordsman by how he smelled. How mortifying.
Luckily for them both, Zoro hadn't fallen asleep yet. It wasn't as if he wasn't adept at falling asleep in new places easily. But for whatever reason, it was a little harder to fall asleep that night, thoughts of what Sanji might say or do annoyingly keeping him up. Why did he care?
He didn't have to wait long to find out what Sanji would do though, when he opened the door. Even with the very dim light of the hallway, it was enough of a backlight to see Sanji's distinctive hair and tailored suit. He didn't say anything, eyes barely open a slit, but the sudden darkness when the door shut made it nearly impossible to tell where the other man was.
Up until he tripped over him.
Zoro was quick enough to move so that there were no elbows in faces or any sensitive parts, but the blond was still able to pin him to the floor. "We gotta stop meeting like this," he said dryly.
Sanji rolled off of him and sprawled out on the floor next to him with a loud, aggrieved sigh. "Maybe we would if you would stop being the person that you are."
He forced himself to sit up now that his heart rate had calmed down and he leaned over Zoro to turn on the oil lamp on the side table nearby. If Zoro got an elbow nudge in the ribs in the process, that was just fair payment for trespassing and startling the shit out of Sanji.
There were pastries all over the floor. But more oddly, there was a pillow. Sanji frowned. "Were you sleeping on my floor?"
"You like the person that I am," Zoro shot back, frowning and then narrowing his eyes at the cook when he dug his pointy elbow into his ribs. Ass.
He took the pillow in question and dusted off the flakes of pastry that were everywhere. "I am." No further elaboration because that was who he was as a person and Sanji could scowl about it all he wanted but he did like it. Why else would he annoy him about being friends? And feed him? And let him hang around? "Now are you going to let me sleep or are you going to attack me the second I lay down?"
The lamplight, unfortunately, revealed that Zoro was attractively mussed by whatever sleep he'd managed before he was trampled. Worse, he was shirtless. Sanji was tempted to turn the dial back to off again. Or throw the whole lamp across the room. A fire probably wouldn't help this situation though. Unfortunately.
"I would like you more if you told me why you're sleeping on my floor." Was that the same thing as admitting he did like the person Zoro was? Probably but if he kept talking, maybe that would be less obvious. "What's wrong with your bed? Did you break it?" That didn't seem unlikely at all. A sword accident, a bed cleaved in two. But some ridiculous part of himself worried it was something worse. He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. "Is there a dead body in your room?"
It was a good thing that Zoro was a little bit dumb. Did he pick up on the fact that Sanji admitted to liking him? No. Instead he was focused on what Sanji thought he did wrong. While it wasn't out of the realm of possibilities that he would have a dead body in his room - hello, he was a bounty hunter - he was a little offended that Sanji would jump to that conclusion. Was he trying to show a better side of himself to Sanji? Maybe. Dead bodies were definitely not apart of that good side.
"Don't worry about it," he said coolly as he fluffed his pillow a little aggressively. "Go to bed, you wake up too early to still be up." Then he shoved the pillow behind his head and flopped back, onto the pastries and all, completely ruining the pillow again.
They were definitely going to get ants. But Zoro didn't give a shit, as he turned his scarred back to Sanji.
Sanji sighed. He hadn't meant it as an insult, but he supposed in retrospect that it might have sounded like one. After considering his options for a moment, he shoved aside a few pastries and laid back down on his back next to Zoro, propping one hand under his head like the world's worst pillow.
"Too late. I'm awake and I'm worried." He stared at the ceiling so that he wouldn't stare at Zoro's back. Or worse, try to apologize. "Is the sofa too lumpy? Will you take a blanket at least?" Whatever it was that had driven Zoro from his room could probably be sorted tomorrow. But just in cast it wasn't, he'd have to look into a cot or a maybe a hammock. He could picture Zoro sprawled out in a hammock in the corner too easily.
"I'll take some peace and quiet," Zoro snarked, eyes screwed shut like a petulant toddler. But after a moment, his face softened and he sighed quietly to himself. He flopped back over onto his back and mirrored Sanji's arm behind his head. "I didn't have any other place to go. So I came here."
It was all too honest and a little more than Zoro was comfortable sharing, but he didn't want to lie. He could have potentially gone to the Merry, but as much as he and Robin were coming to trust each other, he still felt more comfortable with the cook. And him admitting to coming here because he felt like it was his only choice basically felt like he was copping to the fact that he considered the blond someone he trusted. And potentially considered a friend.
He felt a little embarrassed by it, so he followed it up with, "I'll clean up and get out of your hair in the morning. It'll be like I was never here."
"Shut up, that's not what I--" Sanji blew a breath out of his nose and tried again. "I'd have been offended if you went somewhere else, Marimo." There, that was honest and not antagonistic. He didn't know why his knee jerk response with Zoro was always to snark and snap. It probably had more to do with his own shitty self-esteem than anything Zoro was doing but he'd be damned if he ever admitted that, even to himself.
"You said it yourself. We're crew." He wasn't brave enough to use the f-word. As much time as they spent together, Sanji still wasn't sure it applied. But he knew he cared, as annoying as it was. And he didn't want Zoro sleeping just anywhere. Who even knew what the swordsman would deem adequate. He'd probably sleep in a coffin and not blink twice. "You're welcome here as long as you want to stay. I was just trying to find out what happened. To see if I could…I don't know. Help."
Turning his head to the side so Zoro could actually consider the man next to him, he took in what he could see of his side profile. It wasn't much because Sanji wasn't looking at him, but from the soft cast of the oil lamp, he could see what looked like a solemn expression.
It also reminded him that the other man was stupidly pretty.
"You actually mean it, don't you?" He asked, shifting so his head was pillowed on his bicep. This felt weirdly intimate, but that was probably just the lighting. "If I said there was a dead body in my room right now, you'd actually help me find a way to get rid of it, wouldn't you?" It felt so close to some kind of revelation, but it was still just out of his grasp, the meaning of it all.
Sanji scowled at the ceiling and then he gestured wildly with his hands. "Yes? Obviously?" He finally turned to look at Zoro. Half of Zoro's face was cast in shadow and it added a mystery to his expression. Was he annoyed by the thought? Was he judging Sanji as too soft? Too easy? Sanji's childhood had left a mark he could never scrub clean and it made him quietly sure everyone looked at him - no matter how well he dressed or spoke or behaved - and found him wanting.
"Would you? I mean, if I had a body in my room and showed up on your doorstep." He couldn't imagine Zoro sending him away. Shutting the door in Sanji's face, climbing out the window to wall climb over to Sanji's room, and breaking in through the window just to prove a point, yes. Sending him away, no.
"In a heartbeat." And he meant it. Sure, Zoro would 100% roll his eyes about it, but he'd find a bag big enough to haul a body and help the cook find a nice piece of land to bury it in. And probably help dig the hole to throw it into, but he didn't need to admit to all the ways he would help.
He was getting soft and he was pretty sure Luffy was to blame. But he didn't find himself annoyed by the thought as much as he thought he would. Maybe this friendship thing wasn't so terrible after all.
"Got anymore dumb questions?" Like Zoro hadn't started this whole line of questioning.
Zoro's answer loosened something in Sanji's chest. There was a chance he only meant it because of Luffy and his loyalty to Luffy's crew, but it didn't matter. Because it also meant he really did think of Sanji as part of an us. He was worthy of that.
"Only at least a dozen," he joked, grinning stupidly wide. He wasn't self-aware enough to realize he was turned towards Zoro in a way that body language experts would have too much joy exploring. All he cared about was that they'd both agreed to help each other if something terrible and inconvenient happened. And that Zoro had come to him first. That was a bit like winning a contest he didn't know he was in.
"How would we get the body out without being seen? Where would we bury it? What if it was someone famou--" A sound caught his attention that reminded him of being on the Merry when it was in its worst condition. He stopped rambling his teasing questions and lifted his head to look towards the door. Water was slowly pouring in from underneath it. A lot of water. He stared at it with a baffled smirk.
"Zoro…do you have any idea why the hall is apparently being turned into a swimming pool?"
Briefly, Zoro closed his eyes like that would make what was going on behind him go away. He only opened them when Sanji shifted and asked his last question.
Knowing it was futile to prolong the inevitable, he reluctantly explained, "I might have broken something in the bathroom. Don't really understand plumbing enough to tell you what though." He closed his eyes again and pulled Sanji back to the ground. "It's fine. Go to sleep. We can fix it in the morning."
Oh well that was a tempting request. Sanji was momentarily distracted from the situation at hand by the thought of just laying down next to Zoro. Shirtless Zoro. Shirtless sleep-warm Zoro. Eventually, he blinked himself out of that weird paralysis, but not before wondering if Zoro would share his pillow.
"You are…a ridiculous person." He didn't sound like he meant it. "We're on the eighth floor, mosshead. We have to call someone." Grinning smugly, he leaned closer to pat Zoro's cheek, risking the loss of his fingers. "But I'm really proud of you for admitting the truth." To avoid retaliation, he rolled away with a chuckle and went in search of his phone. He couldn't wait to hear what the building maintenance people had to say.
Coming very close to actually biting Sanji's fingers, a frustrated growl escaped the swordsman before he sat up and dragged his pillow with him. "I'm taking your bed. Wake me only if someone tries to kill you." Which…might be a possibility with how badly Zoro suspected he gummed up the plumbing system here.
He didn't wait for a reply, instead swiftly standing and walking the short distance to the bed. He flopped down onto it, belly first, starfishing onto the majority of available space. Now that Sanji was actually there, he was comfortable falling asleep within seconds.
Sanji stood there for a good thirty seconds, watching Zoro get comfortable in his bed, his mouth hanging open idiotically while the person on the other end of the phone line kept saying, "Sir? Are you still there? Sir, where was the emergency?"
His face was hot when he finally turned away and stomped towards the door. "I'm going to wake you up after I fix your mess!"
Probably. Unless Zoro was sleeping especially good, anyway. That would just be mean. And Sanji had slept on worse than a lumpy sofa after all.
Ugh. He was so embarrassing. He shut the door hard behind himself. "There's a plumbing issue on the eighth floor," he said into the phone. "And unfortunately the flooding isn't deep enough to drown myself in, so I'm going to need you to come up and fix it."