Billy Kaplan (demiurging) wrote in valloic, @ 2023-01-24 19:57:00 |
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Entry tags: | !: action/thread/log, marvel: billy kaplan, ₴ inactive: tommy shepherd |
Who: BK and TimToms, the Wonder Twins
What: A talk! With feels! And milkshakes! And maybe a sort of hug!
When: Eh, yesterday?
Where: The rooftops of Morningside!
Ratings/Warnings: Jade can't code, y'all.
“What’s that, milkshake number nine?” Billy asked, as he watched Tommy down yet another frozen concoction in .2 seconds. “I’d say your brain will freeze, but I mean, at this point I don’t know if it’s all that different than how you live day to day.” He grinned and tried to duck Tommy’s inevitable retaliation, but of course Billy would fall victim to whatever Tommy chose to employ. Speedsters. Milkshakes on the roof of the apartment complex in the middle of January might have seemed an odd choice, but Billy warmed up the air around them enough to make it comfortable, and being outside wouldn’t have killed either one of them, even if they had somehow fallen, Tommy could basically run on air and Billy could fly or teleport or change gravity entirely. Small things.
The past few days of hanging out at Wanda’s cabin had been good for all of them, Billy thought, even if coming up with three straight days of mom related emergencies for Wanda to solve had been a little difficult. Billy feigned helplessness, Tommy ran every single errand Wanda could possibly need and they both hoped it was enough to ease Wanda’s hurt. She was stronger than anyone ever gave her credit for, but Billy and Tommy knew that life had never been fair to Wanda. Losing Vision so soon after getting him back seemed especially cruel. And it was complicated for the twins in a different way, their version of Vision had wanted nothing to do with them, but Jonas had been a version of Vision. That always hurt too.
Billy passed over the container of fries after selecting a few to dip into his milkshake, don’t @ him anyone, the salty-sweet combo was a win. “We can’t tell Wanda we’re undoing all of her good work with actual home cooked meals. Did you eat all of the lasagna?”
While sucking down his eighth (thankyouverymuch!) milkshake, Tommy flipped Billy the bird and then slowly pushed the gesture into his cheek. It was easier to rag on Billy instead of focusing on all the bullshit of the last week. Ignore things like feelings and pretend he was cool, cool, cool. Tommy expected it, hated that he expected it, and then decided it was for the best. Losing Vision was just another notch in the family belt. And the only one that gave an actual damn about him was Wanda so he was in Protect Her at All Costs.
Except he still felt like shit, and talking about it felt weird because this version of their pseudo-birth parent seemed nice. Actually cared about what Tommy and Billy were doing with their lives. He now finally understood how his mom could have fallen in love (ew, gross) with a robot.
But before he could say anything dumb—dumber than usual—he scooped up a handful of offered fries and shoved them in his mouth, somehow at the same time as he was drinking the milkshake. Tommy was, if anything, good at multitasking. "Of course I ate all of the lasagna," Tommy said, after he polished off the fries. "I'm not a fucking asshole who would dare not eat our mother's food then eat crap. I'm an equal-fucking-opportunist or whatever."
The empty gurgle of his milkshake meant he was done and now on to number nine. He tossed the cup into the garbage pile behind him and not over the side of the roof. He didn't want to hear Billy get all complainy about litter. "So now what. You think she's hiding it well or like are we making a big deal out of nothing with him being gone?"
Exhaling, Billy rocked forward with his hands pressed to the ledge of the roof. Vallo looked nothing like New York, with all of its skyscrapers in the distance, the brownstones and corner shops down below, and the sounds were different too. No honking cabs, clattering of trains, no aliens landing in the middle of Times Square–honestly, that wasn’t the weirdest thing that had ever been in Times Square anyway, so maybe the point was moot. And it wasn’t like there weren’t larger buildings in Vallo, Stark Towers was, uh, pretty freaking large, but considering there were mountains and a giant forest and farms not all that far away, the entire place didn’t feel as massive.
And with the weirdness, well, there had just been giant mushrooms running about.
“Little from column A, little from column B is my guess?” he mused, out loud, his face tightening in thought. As a general rule, Billy tried not to tap into the telepathic part of his powers. Sometimes it came in handy, like when they were searching for someone, and sometimes he couldn’t help it with the people he was especially close to: Teddy, Tommy, the rest of their team, and now Wanda, he just knew. But Billy didn’t love doing it, and blah blah blah restraint, blah blah blah don’t solve all of your problems with magic, Billy. Okay, well. “And I think that it’s just–like, Wanda has sort of come to expect it? Which might be worse. I think she’s upset and sad, but also is thinking this is how it is now, she just loses everything.”
Once again Billy was reminded of the unfairness of it all. Time after time after time Wanda was kicked down, the world let her down, her family let her down, her team let her down, and yes she stood up again but come on. After a while the weight of it all would drag anyone down. And Billy and Tommy weren’t looking at her like the Scarlet Witch who may snap at any minute!!!! They were looking at her like Wanda, their mother, who deserved so much more than what she got.
Tommy's whole face twisted up into something awful, like he swallowed 20 sour warheads at once—those things were no fucking joke, wimps!—when Billy said Wanda had probably started to expect it. "Okay but that's like super fucked? No one should be like 'well, this shitty thing is happening to me, it must be Tuesday'. And like shit I know it's Vallo and our lives are pretty much one-shitty-thing after another at home, but like losing people you care about and shit shouldn't be so whatever," Tommy said.
And maybe he was being a teeny tiny hypocritical, because wasn't that what he was doing? Oh, another parent left him? Sure. Nothing to worry about. Definitely not therapy fodder that he was collecting until he exploded with problems. Tommy was keeping it super low key, he was positive Billy couldn't tell.
"But fuck, I also don't want her to be sad forever either. Because that shit sucks too. Nothing I can do except set her up on blind dates or something to get her mind off him, but then I don't want her to move on before she's ready. But what if she is ready? Billy, what the fuck. Like what would you do if Teddy was—"
Tommy stopped, realized what he said, squinted at Billy suspicious, and then back out to the city. "Whatever."
Too late, Billy caught Teddy’s name and exactly where Tommy was going with the question, judging by the involuntary flinch that crossed his face. It was true that as far as his Boy Scout with an 8-pack, Space Prince with an encyclopedic knowledge of Dr. Who went, Billy had tried to shove it all in a box that he didn’t open unless he was feeling particularly masochistic. Teddy was sensitive and kind, sincerely kind in a way that had little old ladies patting his cheek randomly, but a fierce defender of the people he loved. Strong enough for everyone else, but still needed reminders that he didn’t need to shapeshift into anyone else in order to be loved. Billy thought about Teddy every day, and the twins had been in Vallo for a year and a half.
Sometimes when Billy was especially sad, he wanted to flex his will and might against the barrier of Vallo and see if it would give. But again, boundaries. But again, restraint. But again, he had done something similar in trying to bring Teddy’s mother back to life and it only caused an interdimensional parasite who tried to eat Billy’s powers and take over the multiverse. Sigh.
It took Billy a long moment of his hands flexing on the concrete, of downing half of his milkshake in one gulp, before he answered. “I’ll talk about Teddy if you tell me how you’re really feeling about this whole thing.”
"Ew, fuck no," Tommy said almost immediately, out of instinct. He was not the Feeling Guy™ and any thought that he might have to talk about them frankly made him want to shrivel up and die because nope. But Tommy had gotten better about being more open and honest about the problems that bothered him with a very few select people. Fuck, he had even cried at Wanda when he realized what a good freaking life he could have had when he was little.
Tommy then groaned, a big dramatic thing, did a standing push up against the railing of the roof, and stepped back. He threw his arms wide as if to say come at me, feelings. "Nevermind, fine, fine. I will talk about what I'm feeling you fucking cheater," Tommy said, although he knew Billy would never betray his trust and read his mind, but he still liked reminding Billy that he remembered that he could.
"But that means, you have to go first. That's the deal, or we're both gonna sit up here and eat garbage food and not talk at all." Tommy seemed adamant about that stipulation. But he was definitely stalling. And worried Billy would start getting weird about Teddy not being here and if he was doomed like their mom.
"Twin vibes," Billy said in response to the accusation, tapping his finger against his temple like he was recreating a meme, because one of the two of them were usually recreating a meme. Because he wouldn’t intentionally take thoughts from Tommy’s head, it may have been the easier way but he much preferred knowing that through time and effort and work, that he was one of the few people Tommy trusted with his thoughts and feelings.
Even if his face resembled an elephant’s knee.
Billy stared off into the horizon, his gaze going distant. Bringing Teddy out into the open was like stretching an unused muscle, everything hurt. “I miss him,” he started, simply. “I just–it’s been what, almost two years now? And I still can’t think about seeing anyone else. I don’t want to. I think it’s great other people have found happiness, I’m really glad you and Toph are happy together. But for me,” he shrugged. “It’s Teddy. That’s it, endgame, no one else. And I don’t know that he’ll ever be here. So I guess…” he trailed off, shrugging again. “I don’t know. I knew when I met Teddy the first time that if by some miracle he gave me the time of day, I’d marry him.” Which was ridiculous considering how old they were when Billy and Teddy met, but oh well, there you had it. Billy had seen Teddy for the first time and flown into a tree, he had been so gone.
Ughhhh, he was now making Billy sad just talking about his boyfriend-soulmate-uber-nerd-second-half,
At least that was the excuse Tommy was going with, because he didn't want anything or anyone—universe included—to fuck over his twin. If Tommy could, he'd punch it right in its stupid universal face. That would be a future Tommy problem to work on because the universe was pretty goddamn intangible.
He looked at Billy again, couldn't stand that wistful longing look that he had about Teddy and then sighed. Tommy had promised, and talking about his feelings would distract Billy enough to not get all messo-depresso the space prince.
"I think I'm jaded. Like mom," Tommy said, taking his turn to stare out across the skyline to give the maximum effect sad. He was sad, and he hated it. "I don't want to be, I wanted things to be okay, but I think I'm just used to parents peacing out, and I realized I'm kind of the common-fucking-demoninator. And fuck, I hate using math, so you know I mean it."
“I think he would if he could,” Billy agreed. He knew his boyfriend, Teddy was peak ‘looks like a cinnamon roll and is actually a cinnamon roll, but could also kill you’ especially when it came to the people he loved. “I’ve never been patient, so I guess if this is the universe trying to teach me something, lesson learned.” There was no magic to it though, even Billy knew he couldn’t test limits like that. Teddy was worth waiting for, anyway.
It was Billy’s turn to punch Tommy’s arm, just as a reminder that his twin was still there with him. “Your parents weren’t good people, Tommy. They don’t even really deserve to be called your parents because they weren’t there for you, they didn’t support you, they didn’t care for you, and that doesn’t have anything to do with you, it has everything to do with them. Your only job as a kid was to be a kid, you shouldn’t have had to do anything to earn their love, and you didn’t do anything to lose it. And screw them for making you feel that way, or that you deserved anything other than love.” He grabbed Tommy’s shoulders and forcibly turned his twin to look at him as he said again,.”Screw them.”
That last part wasn’t necessarily how Tommy should have felt, Tommy could have felt any way he wanted to about his parents. It was all how Billy felt, even though he had never met Tommy’s parents, it didn’t matter to him. His loyalty was with Tommy and just as Tommy wanted to protect Billy, Billy wanted to protect him. No one else had when he was younger, but now that Billy and Tommy were together, Billy would do whatever it took.to do that. He couldn’t make up for the years and years that Tommy had been holding on to his feelings, but what Billy could do was show up every day proving to Tommy that he had family, that he was worthy of being loved and cared for. “It’s okay to be sad, but you didn’t cause any of it, it’s not your fault. You’re my brother, Toms. You’re my family. There is nothing in this world, or any other world, that will ever change that, and not because of anything you did or didn’t do, but just because of who you are.”
"God, you're so fucking intense sometimes, I don't know how I'm related to you," Tommy said, trying for bluster and that usual watch me not give a shit mode. But he didn't push Billy away. In fact, Tommy let Billy grab him and shake some sense into him. Yes, his parents were shit. Yes, they didn't care about him. Yes, they could go piss up a rope and Tommy wouldn't give two shits. But it was always Tommy's feelings, Tommy's experience, Tommy's anger to misplace into fighting bad guys.
But it was fucking nice to hear Billy say it too without Tommy ever having to have a heart-to-heart and use his Big Boy Words. His twin just knew. Damn twin powers. If Tommy didn't like running his mouth so much, he'd just communicate via weird osmosis.
Eventually, Tommy wiggled a hand up, and pushed Billy's face away so he didn't have to see Billy staring him down and making him feel things. Tommy was already feeling enough and he didn't want to embarass himself by crying in front of Billy. He'd make him just cry it out or something and Tommy was done shedding tears for parents. He was done being sad and shit about being abandoned. Tommy just wanted something normal.
Technically, having a brother was normal. Even if said brother could alter reality where brothers didn't exist. Or everyone had a brother. Or the word brother meant tacos and no one would bat an eye.
"Thanks, dweeb. For getting it," Tommy said, punching back again. He couldn't let Billy go unchecked. "Sometimes I need someone else to tell me this shit so I don't think I'm losing my fucking mind. Which is easy considering we're world-traveling or whatever."
Billy knew he was pushing his luck, but he grabbed Tommy’s extended arm and pulled him in for a hug that was also coupled with a noogie just so Tommy couldn’t complain too much about it. “As someone who permanently lives too much inside their own head, mood. So any time you need me to tell you you’re being an idiot, you just let me know, I’m happy to do it.” The writing on the wall was really that any time Tommy needed a reminder that he had a family who loved him and would do anything for him, but Billy didn’t need to say it for Tommy to understand. Billy knew and Tommy knew and twin vibes filled in the rest for them.
“I would thank you for listening about Teddy, but I know you’ve had a distinct lack of hearing me gush about him so really, you’re welcome,” Billy said, his mouth twisting between a smirk and a smile. Wherever Teddy was, Billy knew he was where he needed to be, doing what needed to be done. Maybe that was defending New York from the Chitauri invasion! Maybe that was joining one of the many fantasy superhero teams they had constructed over the years! Maybe he was finally going to unite the Skrull and the Kree and form intergalactic peace for the first time in….ever! Maybe he was doing it all with his new boyfriend Jaxxon (two x’s of course), who knew about football’s special teams (there were teams INSIDE the teams??) and who could be out in the sun for more than 10 minutes before turning lobster red, and who hadn’t literally fallen out of the bed the first time they made out and–
That was enough of that train of thought for the day.
“You want another milkshake while we’re out here?” Good news, Billy was already pulling one out of the air, literally.
Tommy gave Billy a long, smug sideways look. Sometimes Billy could be neurotic, sure. But that hyperactive force was not to be messed with. Sometimes, Tommy forgot that his brother, underneath all the nerd, was some uber cosmic reality warping being but didn't let the power go to his head. Because he cared, and Tommy was super lucky that Billy cared about him.
"I know you're happy to do it, because you're a dork who is into that stuff. And maybe someday you won't have to bug me into it, I'll just come to you all Billy, I wanna talk about my feelings!—but!" Tommy was quickly holding up a hand, because he could feel Billy getting too excited by the prospect. "If you try to force it, I'm going to dig my heels in extra hard and never come to you about anything."
Kind of a lie. Tommy was already here, wasn't he?
Seeing Billy craft the milkshake out of thin air, Tommy snatched the second it was formed. Probably before Billy even realized he had finished making it. He slurped it down immediately. "You can talk to me about Teddy anytime. I know your miss you boyfriend, and you probably came up with like eight hundred different dudes he probably hooked up with that are better than you, but I'm gonna tell you this once and only once, so listen the fuck up."
He did take a long sip of the milkshake as a pause for dramatic effect. "No one is better than you." A beat passed before he added, "Also, I'll murder him if he did."
Billy tried, honestly, he very much tried to not light up at the prospect of Tommy confiding in him. He even attempted to play it off with a shrug and a “Cool, cool, cool, cool,” which, when you were Billy Kaplan, the number of times you said ‘cool’ was directly proportional to the amount of cool you were not experiencing at that given moment. He would agree to not forcing it though–Tommy tended to be like a cat sometimes, and if you paid too much attention to him, would just balk and protest and the moment would be lost.
He leaned over to nudge Tommy with his shoulder. “Thanks. The universe needs him too much to murder him though, so maybe save that energy for the new super mega hunk, huh?”. And if Teddy were to come to Vallo and then leave, Billy wouldn’t know how he could bear it. So maybe he was hypersensitive to Wanda because of that as well, not just because she was his mother. But Billy knew Teddy, and Teddy wouldn’t want him sulking or not living his life because he wasn’t there to share it. So he packed up Teddy, his giant muscles, his larger heart, the patient way he looked at Billy when Billy was spazzing out about something and needed a reset and put it–no wait, one more, his snort of a laugh at Tommy’s jokes–and put it aside. For now.
In favor of teasing his brother.
“But more importantly, you love me!” Billy crowed. “You think I’m great! You really want to play hours of Tiny Tina’s Wonderland with me and go hunt for a Salazzle and defend my gym! I knew it!” He wrapped his arms around Tommy, squeezing with all of the force his super mega nerd arms could possibly have. “I have so many plans for us. How do you feel about matching cosplay outfits?”
"I will murder him, and his eight hundred other fake boyfriends that don't exist. Billy, I mean it, make the number lower!" Tommy said, pointing a finger right up in Billy's face. Then immediately whacked him on the back of the head for getting cocky about saying Tommy loved him. Of course he did, they were related, souls and all because of magic, but holy fuck. He didn't want Billy giving away his secrets loudly, in a public place.
Tommy could have missed Billy's hug, but he let his twin get one satisfactory second of embrace before he whacked him again and slithered out with inhuman speed. "I'm not playing shit with you. And no costumes. Save that for your space nerd romance that you're probably writing fanfic about—" Tommy was already zipping away, milkshake in hand because he knew better than to irritate the future Sorcerer Supreme for too long. Tommy was positive he might end up a slug, or spaghetti, or in a cosplay after all.