InsaneJournal

Meditating was not something Laurence had much experience with. It was not something he’d even heard of, before arriving in Vallo, except, perhaps, as something mentioned in passing while he was in China, which he’d taken no notice of at all, and while Lan Xichen partook regularly, Laurence had never quite caught the trick of it. There must have been some crucial step that Laurence kept missing, no matter how he tried watching, or how Lan Xichen spoke of trying to clear his mind, because all his attempts resulted in little more than Laurence sitting around, feeling like nothing so dignified as a sack of potatoes.

Still, he’d come tonight so to have an opportunity to speak with Lan Wangji afterward, and he made the attempt, though nothing much came from it except to have the opportunity to watch Lan Xichen meditate, and to stroke those rabbits that would hop up into his lap, and to think of how poorly his outfit – not his best suit, but near enough, with a freshly starched neckcloth – was for sitting, unmoving, on the ground. He surreptitiously moved his head from side to side to attempt to work out some of the stiffness in his neck.

He knew he had little to worry about with the coming conversation. It was difficult to read Lan Wangji, but Laurence was near certain that Lan Xichen’s younger brother approved of him, if he didn’t outright like him, and Lan Xichen, he knew, had already spoken to Lan Wangji about the possibility of their being married, and had reported that Lan Wangji had approved of the whole thing, though that was months ago.

Even still, he found himself worrying, somewhat ridiculously, that perhaps now that Temeraire approved of their marriage, that now Lan Wangji would disapprove. That he'd think his brother deserved better than a man who would leave his son, Lan Xichen's nephew, to face a powerful madman – Laurence would not call him a god, no matter what anyone else claimed – by himself in the Void. Laurence had not wanted to leave the fight, but had needed to talk himself into it: his presence might have immediately infuriated Aleksis, giving no one time to act at all, after he’d punched the man in the face the Loop before, having six people firing weapons at one man was likely to result in friendly fire, his presence had been more sorely needed at the boathouse. But now, with two days' distance between the fight, it had the unfortunate taste of cowardice, as though he’d run like a dog with his tail between his legs, and he was sure anyone watching would arrive at that conclusion before any other.

He reminded himself, forcefully, that Lan Wangji had commended his actions in the Void just that morning, with no prompting at all, and it was unlikely that he’d so completely changed his mind in the intervening hours.

Still, the meditation had given him plenty of time to dwell on all the reasons why Lan Wangji might refuse him, and when he excused himself from Lan Xichen’s side and approached Lan Wangi, he had only a portion of the confidence that he would have liked to have had.

Regardless of whether or not the whole business was doomed, however, Laurence couldn’t walk away from it. He’d spent the day caring for Lan Xichen, and was determined to spend the rest of his life doing so. If he did not have Lan Wangji’s blessing now, then, he would simply have carry on until he did.

“Will you walk with me?” he asked Lan Wangji. He’d originally seen the conversation over a cup of tea, or perhaps coffee – he recalled that Lan Wangji, unlike his brother, was fond of coffee – and some snacks, but after so long sitting still, Laurence was glad for the excuse to have the conversation in motion.

Lan Wangji gave a silent, respectful nod, and fell into graceful stride beside Laurence.

Despite the turmoil in Laurence’s mind, Lan Wangji was calm and present. Meditation came to him easily these days - Wei Ying was so incredibly distracting that it actually had made Lan Wangji even better at meditation than he had been at home. Now very little could actually destroy his focus once he had cleared his mind and mentally arrived at his peace.

He did not speak; he had nothing of interest to say. Lan Wangji didn’t use words when he felt they were unnecessary, and besides, it had been Laurence that had prompted this meeting. Clearly, something was on his mind. And so Lan Wangji gave him space to work up to whatever it was that was bothering him, his expression drawn in calm serenity as they ventured around Cloud Recesses.

There was some comfort, at least, in knowing that Lan Wangji didn’t expect for him to come up with conversation before the matter at hand, would probably prefer it if he cut the niceties altogether. There was, really, only one thing weighing on his mind, and dancing around the subject for ten minutes or more until a natural segway in the conversation presented itself was more than he could bear, at this moment.

Despite that, it was still unfamiliar to jump right in, so he walked in silence for several moments, hands clasped behind his back, before he said, “I would like very much to marry your brother.”

Lan Wangji had somewhat expected this - they had talked, somewhat, about the seriousness of the love that his older brother shared with Will Laurence. And you’d have to be blind to miss the affection in the glances they sent one another’s way. He gave a nod, as if saying “yes, of course, obviously,” but did not vocalize immediately, wishing for his words to have weight.

Finally, his gaze met Laurence’s, and he said with deliberate care: “It will be an honor to consider you family.”

Laurence’s shoulders relaxed at Lan Wangji’s nod, but it wasn’t until he spoke that Laurence smiled, relieved and pleased both. “I feel the same,” he said. No one who’d met him would ever accuse Lan Wangji of being gregarious, but he was honest and forthright, which Laurence valued more.

“I was hoping that perhaps you might advise me,” he added after a moment, feeling a little awkward. “Back home, it is customary for the… for the one who’s proposing to present his intended with a ring.”

Among all the etiquette surrounding a proper proposal back home, the ring was the one that was the most easily forgone, and yet it was the only one that seemed applicable in Vallo; nothing else seemed possible or appropriate here, which left Laurence both excited and disoriented. But he and Lan Xichen had promised one another new traditions, ones that belonged just to the two of them.

“Is there anything similar which you think Lan Huan might like? Some… customary way of going about it in your world, or a gift he might expect?”

Lan Wangji considered the question, his eyes sliding over to the serenity of Cloud Reccess’s trees. “Much of our traditions are not possible,” he cautioned. Without their father present, some of the most important parts of betrothal would have to go undone. But Wei Wuxian had proposed in such a way that it had lessened the sting. Lan Wangji knew the same could be done for his brother.

He added, “The spirit of tradition is more important than its exact replica.” The fact that he of all people now thought as much was probably grounds for checking the skies for flying pigs. But, he felt in his heart that it was true. “After you ask him, and should he accept, I would advise that you ask to spend time with the family altar, and to ask them for their acceptance.” A nod. “And of course choose an auspicious date for your ceremony together.”

Laurence considered; there was an immediate sense of aversion to the idea of kneeling at any altar other than a Christain one, but he quashed it before it had chance to grow legs: praying to his to-be spouse’s ancestors would be scarcely different than speaking to his parents beforehand, and would certainly not be on any sort of level of taking another god.

After a moment, he dipped his head. “Thank you,” he said. “I will take it under advisement. I’m sure Lan Huan will be better equipped to choose the date than I in anycase.” Laurence had no particular preference in that regard; his one consideration would be the weather, as the wedding would need take place outdoors for Temeraire’s sake, but in Vallo that mattered very little: there were people with magic enough that sleet or rain, a wedding could go ahead unmolested by the weather.

“Is there any sort of gift, or a symbol of my regard that he might expect?” he asked after a moment.

Lan Wangji considered the question, and what he knew of his brother. Lan Xichen would be appreciative of a variety of approaches, being less by-the-book than Lan Wangji, but he nonetheless would hope for certain events, he knew.

“A private proposal,” he finally said. “He will not want the pressure of the public pressing in. And while rings are not so important, whatever you purchase for the occasion should be tasteful.” Aesthetic was important to the Lans, after all. “Be direct,” he added. That much seemed obvious, but given Lan Xichen’s track record with two-faced traitors… he wasn’t actually worried about that with Laurence, but nonetheless, no need to invite past memories.

Laurence certainly hadn’t intended to make a spectacle of the proposal, but he still listened to Lan Wangji’s advice, nodding along with all the seriousness the topic deserved. “Thank you,” he said. “I hope I’ll not do anything to cause Lan Huan any embarrassment.” He smiled then at Lan Wangji. “Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for the advice. I hope that I’ll be able to call you my brother-in-law in the near future.”

“He has a much higher threshold for embarrassment than I do.” Lan Wangji smiled, then - not that you could really tell, so much as a lightening of his expression, and thought of his husband fondly. Talk about annoying your way into somebody’s heart. He’d have it no other way.

He gave a graceful bow then to acknowledge Laurence’s kind statement, and to indicate that the sentiment was returned. “When will you ask him?” It was a nosy question, and likely not his business, and Lan Wangji could keep a secret until the cows came home but he didn’t like to do so with his brother for too long.

Laurence thought he’d spent enough time amongst the Lans so far to recognize the lightening of Lan Wangji’s expression, wondered, perhaps, if he was thinking of his own husband. For a man who claimed to have a low threshold for embarrassment, he’d certainly made a strange choice in a spouse. Laurence could still recall with a blush his comments about riding Lan Xichen’s sword when their relationship had still been new. But then, Lan Wangji seemed to take whatever comments Wei Wuxain made with grace, and Laurence thought he had a much higher tolerance for embarrassment than he’d have admitted. Laurence would not have been able to credit it, if he’d not seen it for himself, but Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxain did make a fine pair together, despite – or perhaps because of – their differing temperaments.

He could make no such comment without overstepping though.

“Soon, I hope,” Laurence said. “Provided that Vallo itself doesn’t interfere.” Laurence was well used to the idea that there was little in the way of the ideal time, but he had no wish to extend some half-hearted, spontaneous proposal, as he had in the past, and his life had been chaotic enough that he hoped this, at least, would not be. “Ideally by Christmas.”

Lan Wangji considered it, and gave a decisive nod of his head. “It would be a wonderful addition to this year,” he observed, and very nearly smiled at the thought. Not quite, but nearly. His brother deserved all the joy in his estimation. “But there is one additional thing to discuss.”

Lan Wangji did not drag it out; he was not a sadist: “You are very bad at meditation.”

There was a moment where Laurence was at a loss for words, and then, realizing that it wasn’t a true criticism, he burst out laughing. “I’ll not deny it,” he said. “For the sake of your brother, I’ll make the occasional attempt, but I think I may have to rely on him to meditate for the both of us.” He inclined his head back the way they had come. “Speaking of, we should return. Thank you for agreeing to come away with me.”

Lan Wangji did not verbally reply; as far as he was concerned, the verbal aspect of this conversation was clearly over. (Small talk really was NOT his thing.) Instead, he gave a polite nod and gestured toward the walkway so that they might return. Although his expression was as impassive as always, a perceptive person might be able to see the slight - very slight - uptick in the corner of his mouth as they returned to the others.