WHAT.Atreus wakes up with Ragnarƶk on the brain. WHERE. The Sanctuary WHEN. Very early this morning. WARNINGS. SPOILERS FOR GOD OF WAR RAGNAROK. Some sadness, some general angst, working through feelings. STATUS. Complete!
Atreus had woken up in a lot of different places lately.
No, that was wrong.
Loki had woken up in a lot of different places lately. Atreus was in Vallo. Loki had ventured out of the nine realms, and had gone further off his path than heād anticipated, so quickly, but not until heād-- well, spied on his father as a falcon and spent a little extra time in Midgard, hidden, before really leaving. Heād checked in with friends a little, too.
Watched Sindri, without the Huldra brother knowing it. Atreus had just needed to know they were all okay, before he left for real. It felt too final, even though he knew heād visit regularly, or even return if heād managed to accomplish his goal quickly.
It had really only been a few weeks since Ragnarok, but it felt like a lifetime, as his memories merged with Vallo upon waking. Despite the fact that heād been dreaming of winter, of snow, of fire and destruction for the last two weeks, it was still unexpected and jolted him right out of sleep.
And out of the bed. Atreus fell from the warm comforts of their cozy bed, stark ass naked, with a quiet oof. āFuck.ā Heād made enough noise to wake up a sleeping dragon at this point, so he wouldāve been shocked if Lance was still asleep. Still, Atreus whispered into the darkness of their room. āShit. Sorry- Ow.ā
While Lance was doing a hell of a lot better with the whole sleeping thing than he had been, he was still easy to wake. The sudden noise kick starting an ingrained response of get up, fight that had come from years of living in a constant state of alarms interrupting the little sleep they all managed to scrape together. He had, however, gotten better at not completely following through that instinct. He bolted up himself at the sudden noise that had easily roused him and paused - took a moment to look around, instead of jumping out of the bed.
Hearing Atreus from the floor, Lance moved to the other side of the bed and glanced down. "Uhhā¦ hey?" he said, voice rough still with sleep and a brow raised in questioning.
Lance shifted to sit better and offered a hand to Atreus to pull him back up into the bed. "You okay?"
Atreus took that hand and let it linger, his fingers took the chance to brush against Lanceās forearm as he raised himself back onto the bed and under a cover. āThanks.ā Atreus wanted to flop back against the pillow and put the covers over his head and pretend his brain hadnāt just gotten overloaded with a rush of memories from home.
āI-uh.ā He rubbed his hands over his face and let out a breath, the stretch showed off the new tattoo that had appeared on his arm, a rope knot with a symbol of his home weaved into it. āGot some stuff from home. Ragnarƶk. Odinās death.ā He couldnāt say things had turned out the best they could have, they won, but they won at a cost, and Atreusā voice caught in his throat with that rush of emotion hitting him all at once. āBrok--ā Atreus shook his head, not ready to touch on that one just yet.
Lance's gaze settled on the new tattoo on Atreus' arm - there were a lot to keep track of but Lance had more than memorized every single one and that one stood out as not having been there six hours ago. Which had his brain going down the path of memories from home before Atreus confirmed it.
He shifted, haphazardly slung a leg between Atreus' and shuffled in close. He gently took Atreus' arm away from his face, one hand holding lightly at the other traced the new marking. Lance could vividly remember his own go at this all. The way four odd years of memories had been unceremoniously shoved into his brain in a matter of hours, the way he'd felt so damn disconnected from reality as his mind struggled to put it all into place, pulled in countless directions. He hoped, at the very least, the touch was grounding when the world probably felt anything but in that moment.
Atreus didn't need to finish the sentence for the meaning to come through, and Lance's heart broke a little for him. His hand trailed down Atreus' arm to link their fingers and gave Atreus' hand a squeeze.
"I'm so sorry, Atreus," he said softly, pressed his lips against Atreus' shoulder and then dropped his forehead to the shoulder. "What do you need?"
Atreus took the opportunity to rest his cheek against Lanceās head, to give them both just a moment of nothing, of just sitting there in the quiet of their room. His life had really been anything but quiet lately, so having that felt good.
But he didnāt realy know the answer to Lanceās question. He loved Vallo, and his life here, but his brain had been in sudden overdrive for what he was supposed to be doing. Heād just come to terms with that, with finding the other Giants, and then it flipped right back here. That didnāt mean he wanted to go home - this still felt right, like it was meant to be at the same time. āI donāt know.ā
He knew he should explain further, there was a lot unsaid that Lance would likely never pressure him to talk about, but keeping secrets had already gotten him in trouble lately. āItās not all bad, I promise. Thereās--,ā He huffed out an incredulous little laugh. āI have my own Torunn? Her name is ThrĆŗd, sheās Thor and Sifās daughter and my friend. And Iāve gotten a lot of answers about who I am and where I come from. Fatherās okay. Everything worked out with Freya.ā
Lance would be content to sit in the quiet morning, in their own little cocoon of blankets and warm touches, for as long as Atreus wanted or needed. It was still a little bit earlier than they usually got up, if the lack of light starting to peek through the curtains was anything to go by. He knew, eventually, the world would call. But there was something to be said about letting it wait.
"Yeah?" he replied, an undertone of warm curiosity there. "I'm glad to hear that there was good in there too." There usually was. Even in the worst of the war Voltron had fought there'd been those pockets of good. Memories that were nice to look back on instead of still feeling like the end of the world some days. "You'll have to tell me more about ThrĆŗd, I'd love to hear what she's like." Truthfully he'd listen to whatever Atreus wanted to talk about, good or bad. "I'm glad to hear about Freya, maybe she'll have the same memories today as you." It seemed half and half as far as that one went. Sabrina and Roz had both woken up with the same, but so far Keith and Shiro hadn't caught up to him (not that he wanted them to, he was perfectly content knowing his friends hadn't lived through some of the things he had thank you).
"Were they good answers? About who you are?" alright, maybe a loaded question he realized as soon as he asked it. But it was asked without the expectation of being answered if Atreus wasn't quite there yet.
Atreus wouldāve loved to keep on talking about his friends and everything on the good end of home. The things that made this all far more bearable, than thinking about the creeping guilt that had settled into the darker parts of his mind. He knew some of what Sindri said was grief, and Atreus knew grief. But Sindri hadnāt been wrong about a lot of it. Theyād leaned on the Huldra brothers to an unfair degree.
Heād thought of them like family. The fact that Sindri had put that to rest still hurt, but someday, maybe heād make it better. Nothing would make it right, but-- maybe, something.
Atreus exhaled a deep breath and rested against Lance, his whole body suddenly as tired as his mind. āI think so? I think Odin wanted to use it against me, and I had the chance to have answers to everything but-- Iām okay figuring things out from here. Iām Loki as much as Iām Atreus, and I know that not all of my people are gone, that I can help find them and bring them back home now that itās safe.ā
Lance shifted so he could properly wrap his arms around Atreus, easily taking on the weight as Atreus sagged against him. "Answers aren't really worth it if you can't live with how you got them," he offered.
"And once you bring the others back home," because there wasn't a doubt in Lance's mind that Atreus would. He knew how much finding other Jƶtnar would mean to Atreus - others like himself, like his mother. The missing pieces of who he was that he'd never really been able to put together. "I'm sure they'll help fill in whatever answers you're still looking for."
Or at least the Atreus back in the Nine Realms might find those answers. The one here would have to wait until Vallo decided to dump it all into his head overnight again.
"Do you want - " a pause. "Would you rather be called Loki?" Lance wasn't entirely sure how that all worked, if Iām Loki as much as Iām Atreus meant one name resonated more than the other.
Atreus smiled gently at Lanceās answer, given that had been a similar wavelength for why heād decided to break the mask. He knew, ultimately, things would work out for him, and it hurt Odin far more than it did Atreus to see the mask snap before answers could be had. Letting Odin get that knowledge, to use it against them or the realms, was out of the question. Everything else would just fall into place later.
āI think itās going to work out,ā Atreus confirmed softly. He couldnāt be sure that heād find everyone, but all signs pointed to the journey he knew heād be taking back home, a far cry from the one here.
He did at least appreciate his boyfriend asking about the name, most people outside of his father hadnāt given him much of a choice there. āNo, both names are important to me but I think I still prefer Atreus, especially to you.ā His head dipped down to bury into Lanceās neck so he could muffle a laugh and hide his blush. āI think at this point itād be too weird to hear you moan āLokiā in bed.ā
"Atreus it is then," Lance said softly. And if Atreus' mind changed on that later, or something new from home came that prompted it, he'd easily adjust. It didn't change who Lance knew to be Atreus at his core, and it didn't change how Lance felt about him.
There was a soft laugh of his own at the comment and he dropped a kiss to the top of Atreus' head before letting his head rest against Atreus'. "Well, Atreus does have a nice ring to it when you're completely wrecking me," he added with a shameless grin.
"I love you," he said after a moment, "and I know how big all this feels, how hard it is to put everything in order when there's suddenly a whole bunch of memories and feelings you didn't have yesterday vying for attention." A brief pause. "Whatever you need from me - to help make that make sense or just trying to sort it all out? I got you. And I know that goes for more than a few people here."
āOh no,ā Atreus dissolved into a deeper blush and his shoulders were shaking with laughter he was holding in. It had always been much easier for him to throw in a dirty joke or two when he was hidden behind a screen and no one could see him get all flustered, but Lance got to see it on a regular basis in person.
Right now that embarrassment was a nice break, though the warmth of his cheek was spreading down his neck now too. āI love you too. And Iāll take you up on that, promise.ā Atreus wasnāt especially good at keeping his emotions contained for long. Burying shit under the skin just had a nasty way of burrowing out, in his experience.
He kissed Lanceās shoulder, āItās going to take a while to sort through everything, and in the meantime we have a few dozen animals that need feeding.ā
Lance laughed a little at Atreus' flustering, and he was glad he could pull that from him then. A momentary pause to the heaviness that tended to come with getting all those memories from home. And the fact Atreus seemed content to have that moment gave Lance hope that there wasn't anything he'd learned overnight that he wouldn't be able to sort out, eventually. Lance knew it would still take time, but they'd get through it. He'd hold onto that.
"Ah yes, the ever demanding menagerie," he said, his tone joking. He took a moment to steal a kiss, as lingering as they could get in the mornings with everything on their plates.
"I can handle most of them if you want to go check on your dad?" he offered. Lance had no clue if Kratos would have woken up with the same memories, but either way he knew Atreus would want to check in. Lance didn't mind taking on the majority of the morning chores to let him go do so.
āItās not my fault we ended up with two dozen ducklings.ā They were adorable as they were demanding, and likely to be waking up any time now as the sun rose overhead. Monty was already starting to wake up as well, his tail quietly flopping on the floor as he half-hung off his dog bed nearby. āYou love this ever-demanding menagerie.ā Atreus felt confident in that, at least. Lance had taken to all of this almost as well as Atreus had.
He went in for another kiss, even knowing that they had stuff to be doing, he gave them another few moments of quiet first. Before he oh-so-cutely turned that smile into a question. āYou know what would help would be a reminder of cronuts. Itās been a very long winter, Lance. No sugar. No fresh fruitsā¦ā
And one slightly-pathetic god with a sugar addiction batting his eyelashes. āItāll help fortify me for checking on my dad.ā
Lance didn't blame Atreus for the request. Sure while it had technically only been a few days since they'd done a cronut run, it was probably feeling a lot longer for Atreus. And Lance knew all too well what it was like to miss good food. Space had always been a crapshoot if they weren't somewhere to find edible ingredients, relying on goo or bars instead that tended to run the scale from tasteless slime to tastes like dirty chalk but make it weirdly spicy for some reason.
And well, Lance was weak for said god with a sugar addiction batting his pretty eyelashes.
He laughed, "my poor baby, how did you ever survive?" He kissed Atreus lightly before getting up to look for clothes. "Okay but I'm getting the fruit too because that just sounds like scurvy waiting to happen." Not that gods probably got scurvy but the sentiment stood.
āIām weak,ā Atreus deadpanned but broke into a grin after a moment, unable to keep it up for long. āIāll accept your fruit as long as it has something delicious and bad for you with it.ā He rolled off the side and grabbed for his pants and boots, just as the sound of fox screams drifted closer.
A normal, everyday wakeup for them. Atreus loved it. He threw Lance his shirt. āShit, go now. Out the side door before they spot you, otherwise youāll never escape.ā
Lance pulled on the shirt that was tossed at him and grabbed his hoodie. "One mostly terrible for you breakfast and some less terrible for you things coming up," he said with a grin.
He stole another quick kiss and laughed softly at the ridiculousness of sneaking out on Bessie. "I look forward to our next clandestine meeting," he joked lightly as he prepared to make his escape. But he took the words to heart and darted out the side door before he could be spotted and escape was no longer an option - a love you called back as he disappeared out the door.