InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I ated the purple berry!"

Kate Bishop (hawkeve) wrote in valloic,
@ 2022-08-12 09:44:00

Entry tags:

!: network post, ₴ inactive: kate bishop, ₴ inactive: loki, ₴ inactive: wanda maximoff

[FILTERED TO WANDA MAXIMOFF]

Hi, Wanda. I know we've actually seen a lot of each other lately, but we haven't really gotten to talk. So I wanted to check in on you, see how you're doing with Dr. Strange gone?

I hope that's not weird.

[FILTERED TO LOKI]

Are you okay?

(Post a new comment)

	kate/wanda. scarlets 2022-08-12 02:15 pm UTC (link)
	It has been ten days but I feel like the 84 years.gif from that one movie. I am managing. What about you? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. hawkeve 2022-08-12 02:21 pm UTC (link)
	Vallo has that way about it, right? It's like there's always so much happening and everything moves so quickly. I kinda wonder if it's intentional sometimes. I'm managing, too, I guess. I've been trying to keep myself distracted, but a wave of SAD just hit me last night and I can't shake it off. I miss her so much. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. scarlets 2022-08-12 02:47 pm UTC (link)
	The grief of losing people tends to come in waves. One moment you think you are fine because you are doing things - and then the next it hits you like a fresh wound all over again. I'm sorry. All I know is that it gets easier one day. We just never know when that day is. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kate/wanda.

hawkeve
2022-08-12 02:54 pm UTC (link)

Yeah, that about sums it up. And intellectually, I know that. I just wish it was easier now, instead of one day.

I'm sorry, too. And I'm extra sorry for dumping this on you. I think I needed to talk to someone who gets exactly this feeling. I know Nat and Yelena know loss, but theirs were so much more intense. It feels petty in comparison, especially knowing Elsa is back home and okay. Probably even happy.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. scarlets 2022-08-12 02:59 pm UTC (link)
	No need to apologize. This is not some Olympic sport of suffering. It hurts to lose people no matter how you lose them, but there is something very bittersweet about them being home and probably fine that sometimes makes it feel like you shouldn't be as upset as you are. I get that too. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. hawkeve 2022-08-12 03:09 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah, that. And then there's the possibility that they just moved onto another weird pocket universe without you that really sucks to think about. The lack of definites is the worst feeling. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. scarlets 2022-08-12 03:16 pm UTC (link)
	Yes. The unknown is maddening. How have you been dealing without Mobius? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. hawkeve 2022-08-12 03:23 pm UTC (link)
	I miss him a lot, too. He was always just this constant presence, and it's weird to not be able to text him or have crazy breakfast pastries with him. Brigitte took his jetski back, too. I'm worried about Loki, but I guess nothing's been blown up or anything, so that's good. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. scarlets 2022-08-12 03:46 pm UTC (link)
	He was a very comforting presence. It must have been the mustache. I know Thor went to look for Loki but last I heard he wasn't successful. I hope he makes himself known soon to put worries at ease though. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. hawkeve 2022-08-12 03:55 pm UTC (link)
	😂 That’s probably part of it. He was a really great dad. I loved him. I messaged him. I won’t be surprised if he doesn’t answer, though. I don’t know what I can really say to him. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. scarlets 2022-08-12 04:00 pm UTC (link)
	You may cross paths with him again some day. So much of home is fractured right now - I have to believe we will all overlap at some point. Knowing that people care might be enough, although I don't know Loki very well to say that with certainty. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. hawkeve 2022-08-12 05:58 pm UTC (link)
	I hope so. All of them gone at once was a lot. I think that's one of the longest lists I've seen so far. We're... okay. I never really bonded with Loki the way I did with Mobius. I tried not to be his problem. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. scarlets 2022-08-12 07:00 pm UTC (link)
	It is definitely up there. Sometimes people come back but it isn't too common. And if they do, well - look at Bucky Barnes. It isn't always the same one we know. You were not anyone's problem, you know. I doubt he saw you as an inconvenience. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kate/wanda.

hawkeve
2022-08-12 07:05 pm UTC (link)

Yeah, I saw that. The last version of him was nice to me, but I didn't know him well. It has to be hard on the people he was close to here. I guess I'd rather not have either of them back unless they're mine, but it's all up to Vallo.

No, I know. I have bad associations with Loki from home, but this version seems okay. We learned how to live together and talk to each other. It's just always a little awkward?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. scarlets 2022-08-12 07:34 pm UTC (link)
	It is. We control nothing. Enjoy the ride while you are on it, I suppose. You are with Natasha now, right? That seems like a more comfortable fit for you. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kate/wanda.

hawkeve
2022-08-12 07:48 pm UTC (link)

Yeah. Elsa and I were living together before she was gone, but that same day, Natasha and Yelena got their old house from when they were kids. We've all just moved in there together, and it's been pretty seamless. I lucked out with them.

The cottage is beautiful by the way, if I didn't say that already. I'm glad you and Peter are staying together. He's really protective of you.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. scarlets 2022-08-12 07:55 pm UTC (link)
	If only Clint knew. I think he would be happy about this arrangement. Thank you. I am glad he chose to tag along too. He's a good kid even if he just turned eighteen. They grow up too fast. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. hawkeve 2022-08-12 07:57 pm UTC (link)
	I think so, too! I wish he was here a lot, but if he's just going to disappear - I want him to just be at home with his family instead. You'll have to start collecting some younger ones, too. Be a cool mom. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. scarlets 2022-08-12 08:03 pm UTC (link)
	As do I. He deserves to be. ~~All my hopes for a younger one have~~ I'm happy playing mother hen with the young adult boys I have. They keep me entertained. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. hawkeve 2022-08-12 08:08 pm UTC (link)
	They seem like chaos! I think Billy and Tommy were a little disappointed I wasn't their Kate, though. Hey, do you still have those plushies I made you and Dr. Strange during the whole weird powers thing? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. scarlets 2022-08-12 08:34 pm UTC (link)
	I can understand the disappointment. They have a lot of history with that Kate but I hope you didn't take it personally. I do. They're on one of my bedroom shelves. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. hawkeve 2022-08-12 08:36 pm UTC (link)
	Oh no, not at all, I definitely understood. I haven't really known what to say to them since then, but I'm glad they have you. Well, I don't know if it'll help you, but - I have ~~a bunch~~ one of Elsa, too. It helps. And hurts, too, but mostly helps. Having it close, I mean. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. scarlets 2022-08-12 10:12 pm UTC (link)
	It can be awkward sometimes to approach but they don't bite. Well, Billy doesn't. Tommy is more on the prickly side. Do you have any pictures? I hung some of our wedding ones. I'm not sure if having some around you will make you feel better though. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. hawkeve 2022-08-12 10:18 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah, I might take another shot there. Lots of pictures. Once she figured out her phone and cameras worked, she was always taking pictures. I have a lot of her artwork, too. I need to finish cleaning out our place in New Asgard so I can have more of that. I haven't been able to bring myself to go back yet. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. scarlets 2022-08-12 10:21 pm UTC (link)
	I doubt you are restricted by a timeframe. Go whenever you feel ready? And if you need company I am sure Natasha or Yelena would not mind going with you. I wouldn't either. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. hawkeve 2022-08-12 10:30 pm UTC (link)
	Really? You'd go with me? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. scarlets 2022-08-12 10:43 pm UTC (link)
	Of course. To put it simply: shit sucks, I know how you feel. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. hawkeve 2022-08-12 10:46 pm UTC (link)
	You're totally correct. I guess we could have started with that and had a much shorter conversation. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	kate/wanda. scarlets 2022-08-12 10:50 pm UTC (link)
	I don't mind a long conversation. Sometimes there are words you just want to let out. It tends to be more productive than screaming into the air. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

kate/wanda.

hawkeve
2022-08-12 10:59 pm UTC (link)

I don't know, screaming sounds cathartic, too. I can only get my ass kicked by two Russian assassins so many times before it starts to get old.

But seriously, thank you. For letting me text-vent at you and for the offer to go back to New Asgard with me. I'll probably give it another week before I suck it up and go over. Nat brought me some clothes and my archery stuff, but I can't just let everything sit like that forever.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	[Kate/Loki] seidr 2022-08-15 06:31 pm UTC (link)
	[...] No. Are you? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	[Kate/Loki] hawkeve 2022-08-15 06:32 pm UTC (link)
	Not really, no. Are you still hiding out? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Kate/Loki] seidr 2022-08-17 08:42 pm UTC (link)
	I'm not... hiding out. I don't want to see anybody, so I'm staying away. Gods know I don't need anybody's pity right now. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Kate/Loki] hawkeve 2022-08-17 08:47 pm UTC (link)
	You're totally hiding out. It's been ten days. Nobody wants to give you pity, but they might want to give you support. Especially your brother. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Kate/Loki] seidr 2022-08-17 08:51 pm UTC (link)
	Ten days is hardly anything. ~~At least I didn't fake my~~ [...] Thor's idea of support trends towards distraction, which isn't something I want. I'm not intending on attacking Vallo in a fit of anger, if that's a concern. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Kate/Loki] hawkeve 2022-08-17 08:53 pm UTC (link)
	Okay, that's fair. Do you want to just come wallow and watch sad movies with me instead? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Kate/Loki] seidr 2022-08-17 08:57 pm UTC (link)
	As long as it isn't Love Actually. I can't stand the part where that man buys a gift for another woman. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	[Kate/Loki] hawkeve 2022-08-17 09:03 pm UTC (link)
	Love Actually is the worst. How do you feel about Brokeback Mountain? (Reply to this) (Parent)