InsaneJournal

Leon had been putting this off - putting off seeing James even - for too long. He knew he wasn’t being prime boyfriend material, knew that he should’ve talked to him days ago about this whole thing, but it wasn’t like he knew how to go about the whole thing, and it had been easier to just wait until he got over it.

He wasn’t getting over it.

He'd tried everything short of actually talking about it, in fact. Stepping up his workout routine, drinking, punching it out at Catra and Adora's place and then at fight club. Even after his talk with Catra, it had taken him another two days before he finally gathered the nerve to show up on James' doorstop.

“Hey,” Leon said, leaning in to give James a light kiss when the other man opened the door - a door Leon could have opened his own damn self if he lived there - and started to make his way to the couch, the distant look in his eye that showed up any time he got caught up in his own thoughts.

“For fucks sake, Leon,” was James’s response to that greeting and honestly, this whole idea of Leon being pissed off at him and not telling him why (and also purposefully ignoring him) could fuck off about five miles to the left and keep going a hundred kilometers yet. If James had done something, he didn’t know what it was - so he didn’t know how to fix it (he’d promised not to read Leon’s mind, he wouldn’t). If he hadn’t done something, he didn’t know that either - point was, they weren’t communicating and it was grating on James’ nerves, the physical equivalent of what a shovel beneath bones would sound like, and felt like a chicken bone caught in his throat.

He slammed the door behind his petulant boyfriend (James loved him, he did, but - why), perhaps a bit harder than he intended, and decided to just get straight to the point. No offer of coffee, no tea, no have you eaten today? Should I make something? No, this was going to be a fucking fight and James was ready for it.

All couples fought, though. You came out stronger in the end, for the most part.

“What’s the matter? Are you finally going to tell me?” And sit down, sure, Leon could do that too. He was always welcome. James might stand, however. Maybe pace.

Leon started at the door slam, not quite having expected it, though when he looked at James, actually looked at him, he realized he probably should have.

"Yeah, I --" Leon started, and then stopped, frowning sharply. Christ, he couldn't even have a private conversation in his boyfriend's home anymore. "We alone? Or is what's-her-face lurking around here someplace?"

“Her name’s Yelena and no, she’s not here. She’s actually not here all that often.” Not to mention the woman was an assassin in her world - which meant she crept around on a velvet tread, silent footsteps; when she was here, she was very quiet. James barely heard her and didn’t hear Mango much either, though he mostly kept to himself and the likewise was also true - he and Yelena were friends but she was respectful of boundaries. They didn’t need to be up each other’s butts all the time.

Which - wait a second. Cerulean eyes narrowed into a whiplash squint - because the pieces were starting to come together now. “This is why you’re mad?” James guessed. “Because of her?” What the actual fuck?

Leon might’ve come here thinking that he was going to have a nice, calm discussion about how he wasn’t exactly happy about the whole roommate situation, but he probably should’ve have known in advance that nice, calm discussions weren’t his forte, and then incredulity in James’ voice was enough to get his hackles up. As if confirming that yeah, Leon had no fucking say in the matter.

“Well, I’m not exactly happy that you decided to invite some chick you used to flirt with to come live with you without even asking how I felt about it,” he snapped. “So yeah, this is why I’m pissed.”

No, that definitely wasn’t how he’d wanted to get the ball rolling on this, he definitely hadn’t meant to bring up the whole flirting thing, especially since he didn’t actually think James was going to cheat on him, or leave him for Yelena, or anything else like that. But he’d shoved that ball off the precipice and it was gaining speed fast.

“I didn’t flirt with her, what the fuck are you talking about??” James demanded. If he had, he couldn’t exactly remember that - or maybe Yelena flirted with him and he never reciprocated but either way, he had zero romantic feelings for her. “She’s just a friend and she lost her landlord somewhat quickly - I don’t know how long she’ll stay or if she even wants to stay long.”

However, if Yelena knew that James’s boyfriend was throwing a tantrum about her being here she’d likely vacate pretty quick - and he wouldn’t blame her for it either. He’d simply feel mortified, that was all.

“It’s just a room, Leon. It doesn’t mean anything - I was only trying to help her and it doesn’t mean we won’t share a home someday either,” he added, because he couldn’t even begin to pinpoint what the true issue was since Leon hadn’t told him; basically, he was just taking shots in the dark. “There are lots of ways to make that happen if we decide it’s something we want but I can’t know what you want or when you’re upset if you don’t talk to me.”

It doesn’t mean we won’t share a home someday.

Leon nearly deflated, the anger that had given his shoulders such tension leaving him, whatever tirade he’d been about to unleash disipting. “I know it doesn’t mean anything for you and her,” Leon said, running a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I said that.”

He flopped down onto the couch. “Look, I know it’s your house and that you can do whatever you want without… I just… Look, man, I didn’t want to say anything because I know it’s stupid and I thought I’d get over it. You don’t need my input on what you do in your own house.”

James pursed his lips, following a mirror gesture - his hand touched his hair, fingertips rubbing over the slightly messy black strands; just for something to do with his hands, not really an attempt to fix something disheveled. “That’s not entirely true,” he said, coming around to sit beside Leon on the couch - the anger had seeped out of his tone, which was softer now and he was glad for it. He didn’t like feeling angry, the way it resembled heat gathering and settling inside the bowl of a stormy sky - he didn’t really have much of a temper, the fuse wasn’t terribly slow-burning. He’d get angry and it would pass quickly - he wasn’t one to sit and stew, though it seemed to be different for Leon.

“You’re my partner - I don’t want to make you feel like you can’t talk to me about things,” he added, leaning forward and resting an elbow on his knee. “Because what you think matters. I didn’t - I didn’t realize her taking the room, even temporarily, would bother you this much but maybe I should have said something before I offered. I’m sorry.”

"It's alright," Leon said. "And like I said, it's not like I live here so…" He shrugged, and shot James a brief smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. He knocked his knee against James': a soft, brief point of contact. "But I'm sorry, too. I've been a real asshole these last few days. I didn't want to be, but it wasn't like I couldn't see it. I should've come talk to you."

“You should have,” James agreed, because they couldn’t move past this until they were talking about it - but hopefully next time, they’d know better. Because of course there would be a next time. “But - well.”

He reached over and threaded his fingers through Leon’s hair, as Cheeto crept into the room and jumped up on his cat tower - it was conveniently right by the window where he could sun himself, curled up in the rays and happy with the warmth. If only it were so easy for humans. “Is that something you want to talk about? Living together?” he asked, gesturing around him. “I can always rent this place out and we can look for something for us.”

James doubted that Yelena would complain about having a house to herself - he’d just, like he said, rent it out. And no one would have to worry about him disappearing. He was born in Vallo and wasn’t going anywhere.

Leon leaned into the touch, not unlike a cat himself. “Maybe,” he admitted. “I know we haven’t been together for that long, really, and I don’t want to make you move out of your place. And I haven’t lived with anyone else since my parents.” James had seen the state of Leon’s apartment; Leon wasn’t what anyone would ever mistake for ‘tidy’. “But I figured that, you know, someday we might move in together, and when you offered the room to Yelena I realized how much I’d wanted that. And… I don’t know, I guess it hurt because it made it seem like you hadn’t been thinking of the same thing. But I don’t want you to live with me just because, I don’t know, I acted like an asshole and made you feel bad about it.”

“I wouldn’t live with you because I feel bad,” James chuckled, tugging lightly on Leon’s hair after scrunching fingers in all the blonde. That sounded like the worst way to make a big decision. “I’d live with you because I love you and want to wake up with you everyday. Even though you steal the covers.” He had thought about it in passing, of course, but nothing concrete - mostly he figured they’d approach that relationship milestone when they were ready; there wasn’t really a rush, or a checklist they had to accomplish by a certain date.

He already knew that Leon couldn’t be pushed into anything - and James didn’t try. No, he was more like a gentle nudger, taking into account that his boyfriend was as stubborn as the day was long, oftentimes an immovable mountain, and James had to love that quirk about him. Loved everything about him, even the flaws - and would forgive his mistakes, just like he hoped Leon would forgive his too.

“It also doesn’t have to be tomorrow - but this place is just a house, something I escaped to in order to get away from my family. I don’t have any particular attachment to it but I would be attached to what we have - and now you know that I do want it someday. I honestly do. I want everything with you.”

"You're the one that steals all the covers," Leon snorted, letting himself be tugged. "I just have to steal them back is all." He closed the distance, catching James' lips with his own, the fabric of James' shirt bunched in his fist.

"I want it all with you too. I'm not in any rush; I'm not planning on going anywhere." Maybe Leon's plans didn't matter to Vallo, but if he started thinking about that he'd just drive himself nuts.

On his end, James wouldn’t consider the fact that Vallo could take it all away in the blink of an eye - that was the nature of his homeland, and he couldn’t fully understand it. He didn’t think anyone did - all he knew was that he was going to fully embrace the time he had and, if Leon went home, not regret anything they shared. He wouldn’t let the unknowns stop him from living how he wanted to - they realized that spontaneous poofing was a risk. You simply couldn’t exist with that at the forefront - James didn’t want it to be.

“Then we’ll talk about it again when we’re both ready to talk about it,” he decided, going for another press of lips; James stroked the back of Leon’s neck, thumb coming around to swoop over his jawline and up along his cheekbone - making actual decisions about their relationship was a lot better than fighting about it. “You just let me know.”

He really wasn’t attached to this house either, like he said - there were plenty in Vallo, places they could make their own. It was kind of a thrilling thought.

Leon shivered at James’ touch, and was nearly ready to tell him that he was ready right now. Except he didn’t want to rush into things just because he was annoyed about needing to share his space with James with someone else. He pulled himself onto James’ lap instead, so he could kiss him deeper.

“I am sorry. It’s been a long time since the last time I had to, you know, actually talk about shit.”

He wouldn’t complain about the shift in positions. James laughed a little, hands resting on Leon’s back, knuckles skipping upward like he was intent on kneading out any knots of tension - surely there were quite a few, if he had spent this long stewing about Yelena being here.

And she really wasn’t here all that much. Plus James put privacy spells on the rooms - she wouldn’t overhear them, he wouldn’t overhear her, it was fine. Live and let live.

“It’s alright,” he assured. “Having an argument once in awhile isn’t uncommon, I hear.” A chapter in the couple’s handbook, or something - James was still learning about what exactly was in there, since he hadn’t experienced many relationships in his day. “We can always skip to the making up part, however? If we’re done with the arguing part.”

Leon let out a low moan as James knuckled his back, resting his forehead against James’. “I mean, we could keep arguing, if you wanted,” Leon said. “I could start in about what a pain in the ass it is that we can’t just ‘make up’ right here on the couch.”

“She’s not going to be back for awhile - I think she’s working,” James pointed out with a snort of a laugh, and while he didn’t know Yelena’s schedule down to the exact minute he at least knew enough. Enough to know what he could get away with on the couch, anyway - it would take a little bit of maneuvering and finagling, and being more conscientious about time, but James was confident that it would turn out. Until he and Leon eventually decided to get their own place and rent this one out. “So if you want to make up with me right now, maybe stop bitching and get on with it.”

Just, you know, a suggestion - he tugged at Leon’s shirt, at the bottom, just enough to get his hands beneath the fabric and feel out the grooves of ab muscles, which were always nice. He had a stubborn-ass boyfriend, but certainly a ridiculously handsome one.

Really, it didn’t take much to convince Leon to stop talking and get to getting on with it, and if James said Yelena wouldn’t be home for a while, that was good enough for him. “Alright, alright, shutting up now,” he said, grinning wolfishly. He leaned back on James’ lap to peel his shirt off, slow enough that it became a bit of a show. Once he had the shirt off and thrown to the floor, he leaned forward to kiss James again, slipping his own hands under his shirt.

Show appreciated. James made a sound to convey as much, closing the space between them again to let those murmurs reverberate against Leon’s throat - though he helped toss his own shirt off too, making sure he didn’t accidentally hit Leon in the face when he divested himself of the annoyance known as clothing. Couch fucking was sort of like a puzzle, having to figure out the best position and where to put your limbs all in a small space without much room to spread out but they could make it work. Much like anything else.

It was tempting to toss Leon on his back and fuck the stubbornness out of him, but if he needed to know that James was his and that he wanted to live with him, then he would offer himself up too. So he did swap positions, arms and one leg in a configuration to get Leon to move - just so James could shimmy on his back, already feeling like a stainless steel pinwheel was pricking its way down nerves that were gradually awakening. He squeezed Leon’s ribcage between his knees. “You should have just shown up here mad and not wearing any pants.”

"That's an option?" Leon asked, a little surprised, deftly unbuttoning James' pants. He tugged them off and tossed them into the ether where the rest of their clothes now lay. "Because that beats the hell out of wailing on Catra and Adora's punching bag."