Eliot’s had a little time to get used to Vallo all over again before Quentin decides he needs to finally tell him about some of the shit that goes on back
home.
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MENTIONS OF TRAUMA AND CHARACTER DEATH CAUSE THE MAGICIANS IS A SUPER HAPPY SHOW, Y’ALL.
Quentin didn't know what had spurred him into asking Eliot what exactly he knew about home, but there wasn't really any backing down from it now. Margo had seemed annoyed that she was going to be delegated to telling Eliot yet again and Quentin wasn't sure that was fair. Even though he only knew up to a certain point.
He grabbed a glass of whatever he could find at the bar in the Cottage and tossed it back, grimacing as the burning of the alcohol went down his throat and into his stomach. Then he braced himself, climbing the stairs up toward Eliot's room. One, two, three...
Finding himself at his doorway, he took a slow breath and then quietly knocked on the frame, before letting himself into the space. "Hey," he said quietly, tucking his hands into the front pockets of his jeans nervously. How was he supposed to tell Eliot about this stuff? All of the horrible things that happened in the year that followed them getting magic back? He was starting to regret offering this information up, but Eliot needed to know and it was better he heard it from him or Margo -- but especially him, when it came to one particular event.
Eliot knew some of what happened after the got magic back thanks to Fen. However, he knew she had held some things back. He could feel it. Knew it in his gut and he wasn't sure he wanted to know everything. Yet he was sure he did. He had a bottle of vodka and two glasses at the ready. It would be needed.
A knock came on the door and moments later Quentin was standing in his room. "Hey." He looked him over slowly from where he sat propped up against the headboard of his bed. Uncertain. Awkward. Scared. Anxious. "The fact that you look like someone just stole your puppy has me slightly worried. Come," he patted the space beside him, "Sit with me and tell me everything."
He reached for one of the glasses and took a sip. "Before you begin I want to let you know that Fen told me about being possessed by the monster." It was still something he had a hard time grasping. "She said I did some terrible things and that was it. I have a feeling there's more to that part of the story. I'd like you to tell me all of it, and everything else." Fen had told him he hadn't hurt any of his friends at least not physically. This led him to believe Quentin was a bigger part of the monster story. Everyone was careful when it came the mental health of Q.
When Q saw the glasses and vodka at the ready he found himself only slightly regretting choosing to do this on a semi-empty stomach. He was bound to get at least a little drunk and everyone knew, especially Eliot, how mopey and sloppy he tended to get when drunk. But at least he'd have good reason with the things he was bound to tell him.
He crossed over to the bed and crawled up onto the mattress to sit beside him, slipping his shoes off and leaning against the headboard as well. Might as well be comfortable, at least. There was a pause as the other man explained what Fen had told him and while he was a little relieved, he was also dreading having to go into further detail. He frowned.
"There's only so much I can tell you, honestly. Physically I never went through any of it... I... well, I got injured a couple of months ago pretty badly and there's a thing that can sometimes happen here? Like getting a memory update of things that happen in your own world. It's weird, but it happened to me." He shrugged a bit and reached for the other glass. "Anyways, that update only gave me so much information, so I won't be able to tell you everything, but I can tell you a lot." He bit back a sigh, eyebrows furrowing a little as he looked down at the glass in his hands. "The Monster that took over your body absolutely did some really awful things. He was... a god, created by the old gods but shunned away for being too terrible. They considered him and his sister a mistake, so they had them trapped. A lot of super shitty things happened while he was in your body, but you managed to get control at least once that I saw." Peaches and plums, motherfucker. Q nervously side glanced over at Eliot before taking a sip. "Margo was King and then let herself get banished from Fillory so that she could get these axes that help dispel spirits that have possessed people. We used those on you and Julia -- oh, uh, yeah. Julia got possessed by the Monster's sister because he had us finding these stones that were being guarded by other gods to build her body and... yeah. It was just a lot."
Quentin joined him and Eliot could feel the nerves coming off him. Part of him almost wanted to tell him to not worry about telling him. He never liked seeing him distressed. A bigger part wanted to know everything. He may never get back to home for all he knew.
Eliot cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean you were badly injured? What happened?" Q looked fine physically. Seemed about the same mentally, but he was no expert. "A coma? Fuck, Q, what the hell happened?" He was alarmed. Sure, they all went through some fucked up shit on Earth, but not comas.
"So you all were with me when I was the monster? Making you gather these stones? Julia was my sister?" Damn. "That seems kind of fucked up." He paused to take a sip of vodka. "I'm almost afraid to ask what Margo did with those axes. Did I die in that timeline?" Because axes.
Q glanced over at him, a concerned look on his face, before he looked back down at his drink. "Um, I mean. Basically some ridiculously tall evil woman managed to brainwash a bunch of folks with magic and my understanding is that she used me as a shield against an attack. I took the brunt of it and... tada, coma." His nose briefly scrunched up at the memory. "I'm deaf in my left ear now as a result, but I'm lucky that's the worst of it."
Truly, he was lucky he hadn't died.
He gave a small nod to his questions. "For a while it was just you and me, but eventually, yeah. Everyone kind of got involved to help, especially once we found out you were still alive. But no, you didn't die." He paused, fidgeting a little.
Eliot frowned as Quentin explained why he'd been in a coma. He didn't like it. Still having to deal with monsters, evil people and all that other shit in Vallo didn't make him like it anymore. "You’re deaf in your left ear?" He turned to look at Q. "Isn't there something they could do? Or some magic we can use to restore it? Fuck, it's the twenty first century. Surely there's something that can be done." Plus they were here, Vallo, where everything was supposedly a little bit more advanced.
That news didn't sit well with him. "You were with me when I was the monster? Did I hurt you Q?" It was the most important question. The only one that really mattered to him. He always felt when people weren't as forthcoming it was because they were hiding something. That's how he'd felt with Fen when she told him about the whole possession thing. Eliot took a long draw of his vodka. "That's good that I didn't die I suppose. So what happened after I was saved? By the axes, I assume." He wasn't sure he wanted to know exactly how.
"I mean, probably?" he replied, shrugging his shoulders a little. "I haven't really looked into it yet, mainly because I have no idea what kind of money that would cost. Besides, it's not really that big of a deal in the big picture. I just have to make sure people talk more at my right ear now, that's all."
Q's eyes moved back over to Eliot and he frowned a bit, pausing. "You... no, you didn't hurt me. The Monster thought I was his friend, so even though threats were definitely made and I got sick of his shit real fast, he never did anything to me." Not physically, anyway. When Eliot inquired about what happened to him after he was saved, the frown on his face deepened a bit more. Time to rip off the bandage, so to speak. "I... don't know what happened to you, exactly. I know you survive, but um, that's the part Margo is gonna have to fill you in on. After we got the Monster out of you, we were able to trap him and his sister, but in order to make sure they'd never hurt anyone again we had to take them to this place called The Seam, that was in the Mirror World. I, uh..." He picked nervously at a thread coming off of the hem of his hoodie that he was wearing. "I didn't make it out."
"Why haven't you looked into it? This is your hearing, your health." Quentin mentioned money and Eliot almost rolled his eyes. "Not a big deal? Come on, Quentin. It is a big deal. You have a job. Don't you have insurance or something? Don't you want to get it fixed?" He didn't understand why Quentin was being so casual about it.
"The monster thought you were his friend..." How strange. Monsters were monsters. They didn't have friends, did they? Eliot's gaze moved back to Quentin when he shared he didn't know what happened to him and that Margo would have to fill him in on that. Why wouldn't he know? Quentin went on to explain that once the monster was out of him and trapped they took them to a place called The Mirror World. He assumed that's where they sent them forever away from others.
Quentin wasn't looking at him though and was fidgeting around with the hem of his shirt. Then he said words that Eliot was sure he misunderstood. "What do you mean you didn't make it out?" he said slowly, not for a moment letting what those words might actually mean take hold. "What does that mean, Q?" he repeated, then reached over to grab his hand that was pulling at his shirt.
"It just doesn't really bother me, that's all, I guess." And it didn't. There were definitely worse injuries he could have sustained. Like when Alice couldn't do magic with both of her hands anymore. At least he still had that, right?
The feeling of Eliot's hand grabbing his made his heart lurch into his throat. He hesitated a moment and then turned his hand in his enough to give it what he hoped was a reassuring squeeze. Not that there was going to be anything reassuring about what he was going to say. "Back home, I don't... survive going there. To get rid of the things we trapped them in. That's what it means, El." His voice was quiet and sad as he explained his meaning, and he couldn't bring himself to look over at him.
Eliot felt like his very breath had been stolen from him when Quentin revealed what it meant. His heart dropped to his stomach. He swallowed thickly, his mouth suddenly dry. No. That couldn't be. Quentin couldn't die. The very thought of the word made him sick.
His mind reeled and Eliot was sure he wanted to scream, but nothing came out. He looked over at Quentin and in one move he turned and pulled him into his arms holding him tightly. "You can't ever leave me," he whispered in his ear, not even realizing it was the one he couldn't hear in. He fought back tears that threatened to spill over. It was his fault. If he hadn't been possessed by the monster Quentin and the others would have never had to get rid of them.
Suddenly feeling Eliot's arms around him and being pulled into an embrace gave him a brief, split second's moment of panic before he settled into it, relaxing. He tucked his head against Eliot's shoulder and kind of stared ahead, sadly. He could feel the other man say something against his ear, but what the words were, he didn't know. Q lifted a hand and gently wrapped his fingers around one of Eliot's forearms, brushing his thumb over his skin softly. "I'm sorry. You needed to know and I needed to be the one to tell you, but it still sucks to hear, especially since it doesn't... it doesn't really matter, does it? I'm here, I'm alive."
Eliot wasn't sure what to feel. It was like every emotion possible was running through him at once. Quentin's touch had him pull back enough to look into his face, eyes taking in the soft features he knew so well. "I'm glad you're here and alive. But," he paused, not liking the thought, "it also means you can't ever leave here." If he did, Quentin would die. That thought scared him. It made him angry as well because he had no control over whenever Vallo felt like yanking someone away.
"I'm going to super glue your ass here," he said with a small grin. Eliot tentatively reached out to caress Quentin's cheek. "I don't want to lose you again."
Though he didn't pull away from Eliot's touch to his face, he didn't lean into it either, instead looking up at him with his eyebrows knit together sadly. "I wish I had a say in whether or not I get to stay here, El," he replied softly. "If I end up going home, I'll at least have a couple more years." Which wasn't much, but he'd get to actually experience those things he had memories of now, even if he wouldn't remember Vallo at all.
"And you haven't lost me. You do, at home, in the future. But I'm here, you know? The best I can do right now is try not to get myself killed here, I guess."
"I wish I had a say in it as well. I know we don't." It wasn't fair, but when had life ever been fair? His thumb rubbed over Quentin's cheek for a moment before he let his hand fall away. "Please don't say that. I don't want to even think about it." Life without Quentin wasn't life.
Eliot hadn't meant losing Q like that. He'd meant when he'd been too stupid, stubborn and scared to tell him how he really felt. "I know you're here now and that's how I want it to stay. The best you can do is not try and be a hero." That might be easier said than done when it came to Quentin though. "Just stay safe, okay?"
"Yeah, well..." Quentin Coldwater did have a bit of a hero complex and he knew it, but didn't they all to a degree? He bit back a sight and leaned back into Eliot, forcing his arms back around him and tucking his head against his neck. "I do my best to stay safe here. Some of the shit that happens around here makes me feel completely out of my depth, even as a Magician."
Eliot wrapped his arms back around Quentin and held him close. He had the urge to squeeze him tightly to make sure he was still there, solid, warm and alive. Instead he placed a soft kiss on top of his head.
I'll take care of you now and keep you safe. That's what his heart said, but his words were different. "We magicians aren't Gods. We have to take care of ourselves and each other. Just don't do anything stupid. I mean, be safe. Promise me that, Q." That's really what mattered most to Eliot. At least in the moment.
He let his eyes drift shut when he felt Eliot's arms tighten around him. The kiss to the top of his head was just a bonus and he actively felt himself relax a little. He'd missed Eliot -- he always missed him when he wasn't around, but having him disappear without any idea of if or when he'd come back had been hell on his mentality.
"I promise. Or at least I'll try really hard to keep the stupidity to a minimum." Q felt a corner of his mouth perk a bit in a weak smile before he let it droop back down. "You be safe too though, okay?" Which roughly translated to don't leave me again in Quentin's mind, but he didn't speak that part out loud. Instead he leaned into Eliot a bit more and turned his head, tucking his face against his neck and breathing out a quiet sigh, feeling absolutely content right in that moment.
Holding Quentin felt so familiar. Yet it seemed like it had been years. He wasn't sure he wanted to let go anytime soon.
Eliot smiled a little. "That's all I can ask." Maybe being there he could keep Quentin safer. Then again some version had been there before and look what happened. "I will, Q. I promise." He had a reason to keep that promise now. He closed his eyes when Quentin shifted, feeling his warm breath play over his skin. Don't worry, Q. I'm here and I'm not leaving. Fuck Vallo.