dǫçţǫŗ şɭęęƥ (shone) wrote in valloic, @ 2021-09-25 10:56:00 |
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Entry tags: | !: action/thread/log, wicked saints: serefin meleski, ₴ inactive: dan torrance |
WHO: Dan & Serefin
WHAT: Serefin's making the rounds on his Apology Tour - there's something he needs to talk to Dan about (and he takes a nap)
WHERE: Snooze Room, Chakrabarti Clinic
WHEN: Today!
WARNINGS: Not really?
STATUS: Complete
Hiding during bad situations was a personality trait for Serefin. In Tranavia, he had done it for months after his first death. After the first dealings with Velyos, he had done it for a few weeks. But no one really explained what he was allowed to do for second times. His second death was brutal, but he wasn't allowed to wallow. Just push through it because more pressing matters needed to be attended to. The second situation with Velyos seemed to hold the same urgency. That did not stop Serefin from hiding underneath the covers of the bed he shared with Jacob for a few days after they had removed and replaced his soul. Deep regret, even deeper remorse, and unfiltered embarrassment plagued him. How had he let it get that bad? Why had he not said anything sooner when he feared it could happen? He was certain that if Jacob and Evie hadn't stopped him, there would have been more blood in his wake. And knowing the person that had put Velyos in the lockbox in the first place could have been on that list led Serefin into the clinic after days of being incommunicado with most of Vallo. Serefin was quiet as he went toward the snooze room. He heard shuffling around in there, and came to an abrupt stop when he saw Dan inside. Words escaped him, and all he could manage out was, "Hello, Dan." The past couple of days had been rough - the fatigue felt like a slab of metal, just right there. On top of Dan. Waves and waves of pure unadulterated heaviness, as if he would have better luck trying to crawl his way through a thick and heavy fog - but he’d be of no use as a nurse to anyone if he was exceedingly tired so luckily he’d gotten some rest, once he was certain that Diego was healing up as he should be. He’d been concerned about Gideon too and, well, all the other injured people - finding out what happened was a punch in the gut, to be sure. Or a failure, actually. That’s what Dan considered it - a failure. And he hated that sensation. In the Snooze Room, the walls were still that sea of cool blue - the temperature a pleasant and comfortable sixty-five degrees Fahrenheit, with enough soft sheets and freshly-washed blankets to accommodate anyone who chose to use the cozy bed, curling up for a nap. He was in the process of fluffing the seasonal pumpkin pillows when he heard a familiar voice, turning to confirm that it was in fact Serefin. “Well, hey,” he greeted warmly. “I was hoping you’d show up. Come on in.” Serefin took one slow step inside but didn't come farther. If he was still feeling a bit on edge, that was on him, not because anything was seriously wrong. Dan wasn't in danger, but the trust between himself and his own mind was broken. It would take some time to get it back. "I thought that, well. I wanted to, that is—" Serefin exhaled, attempting to slow down. Jacob had made his rounds immediately after the series of incidents to let people know everything was—well, not fine, but over. However, Serefin made it a point to be the one to go to Dan. Before he apologized to Diego and Gideon, both who had the opportunity to stab him in return. Serefin was confident he'd let them; appropriate retaliation. "I have not been myself. For some time. And there were things I have done that were because of Velyos. Again," Serefin said, wringing his hands together, a nervous gesture. Now he took another step in, and when he spoke again, Serefin sounded overwhelmingly sad. "I did not realize until it was too late that he had slipped out, and even then there was nothing I could do or anyone could, no one knew. Suspected but.." Sometimes Dan forgot just how young Serefin was - but times like these, when he was standing right here in front of Dan carrying the weight of the world and wearing invisible chains dragging behind him, well. He saw it. Saw all the ghosts of his too-short past, settling in the corner of the room with an unresolved sort of sorrow. “I’m sorry that he even slipped out at all,” Dan apologized, his own nerves showing themselves as he fiddled with the stethoscope around his neck. He was convinced part of it was his fault - even if logically he knew Vanya was right, that there was no predicting what Vallo would do. Not to any of them, or their various abilities - Vallo taketh and Vallo giveth, and it was a crapshoot as to what it would be on any given day. Did he like the idea of the Shining, his ability, being messed with? Well, no. Not if it meant that other people got hurt because of a danger that was meant to be contained. “I thought the lockboxes were strong enough to hold anything. I thought I was strong enough.” Maybe he was wrong about that too. It was a strange comfort to see Dan, but as Serefin watched him grow equally anxious and then apologize, something knotted in Serefin's stomach. It made him jerk his head up abruptly from gazing at the floor. "Dan, no. I do not—I do not blame you," Serefin said, taking another step into the room. He still felt like closeness to people would be a danger, but there was that little voice, and Jacob's constant coaxing since the events of the past week, that let him not sink into that hole. Well, not completely. "You couldn't have known. How is anyone supposed to know that the things we know for certain might not be in Vallo? Nothing here is expected or predictable, in the best and worst ways. " His fingers curled, grabbing for phantom magic that no longer existed. Mentally working out his autonomy and that it was still his control, his hands still his. Not stabbing or burning or poisoning. And almost like his legs could no longer hold him up, Serefin sat gracelessly down on one of the beds. He was so tired. "I do not believe that your strength was in question. You left your lockbox in my hands, this goes both ways." With a heavy sigh, Serefin glanced past Dan for a moment, then back. "He will not be an issue anymore." That had been Dan’s next question, and he was relieved to hear that Velyos was gone - as in truly gone. Vaporized. Not returning. It was something that he wished he could have done before, but he understood the trepidation when it came to messing with something as powerful as a god. And what it would mean to potentially unleash it in order to take it out - highly possible that Velyos would take that as an opportunity to ruin them all and, as they just had seen, it almost happened anyway. No, the lockbox had been the safer option before - and Dan knew that it was true; he couldn’t control what Vallo did. That was like trying to decipher the impossible blueprint of a storm. Or even capture one at all. He sat on the mattress next to Serefin, a mirror exhale coming from Dan - something relieved, something that understood the fatigue; this youngin’ looked like he hadn’t slept in a week. “Nothing is expected or predictable here,” he agreed. “And you still deserve to be happy. Even after all this. Especially after all of this.” He wasn’t here to kick Serefin when he was down - that wasn’t going to help. Ultimately, Dan was here to keep rooting for him. "Ah, well—" Serefin was attempting to argue that. He didn't think he quite particularly deserved happiness. Peace, maybe. Maybe a reason to not worry that he could and would be at jeopardy again when it came to old gods who were bitchhikers into Vallo. He was still working the logistics of feeling happiness. It couldn't come while people were still hurting, betrayed, distrustful. Serefin deserved that, even if most people knew it wasn't him. "I'm sorry if this makes you..." Serefin didn't want to say it, couldn't seem to voice it. But this was one of the many hard conversations he was going to have to have. He pushed through. "If it makes you doubt. You have never been anything but strong to me, Dan. And even after this, I do not doubt you." Dan had been a steady person in the wake of the upheaval of Vallo. Serefin wished his terrible luck had not bled out so badly to others. Serefin eyed one of the pumpkin pillows, a familiar and somehow calming presence. He remembered how he had teased Dan for having them last year, another lifetime. "I would ask you to do it again if that was what needed to be done. I would not hesitate." “Thank you.” Two simple words, but they were said sincerely and Dan meant them. “And I would do it again for you, no hesitation. I know that you’re strong too - and I know you’re going to get through this. I’m not giving up on you, and neither are the other people who care about you. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone has the capability to go to these dark places - owning up to it is the part that separates the strong from the weak.” He reached for one of the pumpkin pillows and gently whacked Serefin on the arm with it. These things really were ridiculous, but they’d brought him comfort - brought other people comfort too when they felt like everything outside of this door was too much to handle. So he hoped they would again or, at the very least, it made Dan appreciate that light-hearted teasing even more now. “So what’s the plan for moving forward? I hope you came here to take a nap, as a starting point.” How anyone could still believe that he was strong was surprising. Hearing it from Dan was another measure entirely. He nodded, trying to convince himself with the same conviction Dan had. Maybe he was able to, maybe he was taking the steps now—this was owning up to his mistakes when he was in the dark place. "The plan, the plan, the plan," Serefin said. He didn't have much of a plan. Surviving through most face-to-face conversations sounded like a manageable step. Taking a nap first though, was far more likely. "Keep Vanya from turning me into dust, ask Gideon not to retaliate, beg Diego not to stab me as penance, Evie already took care of that part. I am fairly certain that I poisoned Jacob under the guise of our anniversary, so the pressure is on to make it up to him tenfold. And that's not considering what else I unintentionally asked of him to end it. And then, Ostyia—" Serefin had barely scratched the surface of everything. He reached for the pillow Dan had smacked him with. "Sleeping would be nice, and you are the best at making it happen," Serefin said, waving a free hand around. "I also missed the ambiance of the snooze room." Well, all of that sounded - vaguely like a plan? Or the barest bones of one, anyway. “There’s no way Diego will retaliate,” he assured, because there were few people that his (favorite) brother-in-law happened to be squishy for - and Serefin was definitely one of them. But there was also another very important reason. “...he’s not supposed to overexert himself for another week or so.” Wounds like that didn’t take too long to heal - but the best part was preventing anything from re-opening or infection from setting in; Dan would keep on top of it, either way. “But if you need any help with the other parts, I’m here - though all I can say about the anniversary gift is that the course of true love never did run smooth,” he smiled a bit, standing up to scoot the decorative pillows to another side of the bed. Serefin could cling to the one he already had, or any other pillow he wanted. A nap would be ideal for him. Those dark circles beneath his eyes looked like the missing rungs to Hell. If nothing else, Dan would assure that he rested. “Make yourself cozy. And try to focus on something happy for me. If you can’t, if you’re too tired - I can look. I promise I’ll be gentle.” "There are benefits to you overseeing his medical care," Serefin said with a half-grin. He knew ultimately Diego would forgive him. Give him a lot of shit for the foreseeable future, but forgiveness was not completely off the table he hoped. As Serefin settled back on the bed, clutching the pumpkin pillow, he squinted his one good eye at Dan. "But if you are in the mood for favors, especially the kinds that I should not truly be asking for, a small lie about keeping his activity to a minimum for a little longer than necessary would go far." Serefin let out a long breath, attempting to relax. He had done this before, gone to Dan for voluntary napping, but it had been a long time. And he hadn't quite shaken the feeling that he was allowed. But happy memories, those he could reach for. They felt so far away but he longed for them, to banish all the bad thoughts for a little while. He was quiet for a second, then another, before he nodded, decisive. There was a nice thought, with Jacob, that constantly lingered around the edges of his mind for such moments. "I have a good one. I'm ready." It had involved Jacob the last time, and it did again - Dan had a feeling it would. Most of his happy memories, as of late, involved Allison too. Or her family that had become his family when he’d been alone and struggling to accept his own inevitable end - and the family that he’d built here. Sabrina and Nick and the others who were close to him, who he protected with the same ferocity that had brought him to the Overlook’s boiler room and to the fire that burned hot as a crematorium would (and it had become that very thing for him, in the end). He settled in a chair by the bed, making sure Serefin was comfortable. And then Dan reached further into his mind, that psychic river of thoughts - he caught the one about Jacob drifting by and Dan grasped gently onto it with a figurative hand, holding it carefully as other less important memories filtered through his fingers like sand. That kind of love and contentment, what your partner represented to you, felt as warm as spring breaking through the winter - that was what he focused on. The emergence of something better for when Serefin woke up. Sleep, Dan told him - and his mind would ultimately let him. The dawn that was silvery, mother-of-pearl against a gray sky. Sleep. A heated blanket, the breeze coming off the ocean. Nothing to be scared of. That was a mantra he often repeated for those on their way out - but it was just as important for the living too. A connection in the space between the two of them. The sun’s rays burst from your fingertips. Nothing to be scared of. |