Will Laurence (gentlemanly) wrote in valloic, @ 2021-09-19 10:44:00 |
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Entry tags: | !: action/thread/log, temeraire: william laurence, ₴ inactive: dorian pavus |
Who: Dorian and Laurence
What: Chocolate, wine, and Laurence has some awkward questions
When: This afternoon
Where: Dorian's penthouse apartment
Rating/Warning: Low, some mild references to the treatment of homosexuality in early 19th-century England.
Laurence had been pleased when Dorian had suggested they meet at his home for Laurence to return the books Dorian had loaned him and to share in some of the chocolate he’d won at the charity gala. He would have invited Dorian to his own apartment, of course, except for the fact that, as nice as the apartment was, it didn’t seem appropriate to have over any but the closest of his friends - friends like Tharkay, or Jane, or Granby, if the situation were appropriate. He could not complain of free housing, especially free housing so nice as this, but he did lament the fact that he’d not be able to entertain until he was able to find new lodging.
Vallo was becoming more familiar to him day by day. He was more comfortable with the towers that stretched to the heavens - his own apartment was on the highest level of Morningside Manor - and so he wasn’t at all uncomfortable buzzing to be let in, or taking the elevator up to the top floor. There were things, however - customs that Laurence couldn’t quite understand - that he hoped to bring up with Dorian today, and he hoped his friend would be patient with his ignorance.
“Dorian, how good it is to see you,” he said. The bag containing Dorian’s books and the chocolates he’d brought to share was resting on the crook of his left elbow, but he extended his right hand for a handshake.
Living with a skilled hedge witch such as Marina meant that the penthouse was well-protected - and given all that went wrong with Vallo on a weekly basis, well, Dorian appreciated the security backup. By now he was familiar with the magic to make some adjustments in case either of them had guests - in this case, for Laurence’s sake. The wards that kept the home safe shimmered when Dorian weaved the magic strands to allow another’s entrance, a series of complex hand gestures - he could see it, they way the strands flickered gold and seemed to sparkle as if dusted with little diamonds. Should anyone attempt to break into the penthouse he doubted these wards would behave so beautifully but that was their job so he expected nothing less.
“You as well, my friend,” he shook Laurence’s hand, a warm clasp before letting go and waving him inside. “Please, come in. A couple of questions - one, do you mind dogs? Or cats? Also, what can I get you to drink?”
He was nothing if not a good host. And would certainly squirrel Blackwall, the giant mastiff, away in another room if he wouldn’t be welcomed for this visit. The cats were probably hiding anyway. Both FB and JG were about as social as Marina, which wasn’t very.
Magic was something that still awed Laurence and it was something that he didn’t think would ever stop aweing him, like seeing a particularly breathtaking sunset with nothing but the ocean surrounding you, or watching a tower of black storm clouds arise from nowhere to bear down upon you, giving you hardly enough time to drop the storm anchors. It was nothing like the sorcery and witchcraft men had spoken of while he was growing up, which had all seemed rather commonplace to him, or easily explained away by coincidence and superstition.
“I mind neither,” Laurence answered, stepping into Dorian’s home. “And I’ll take wine if you are, but if not either coffee or tea will do nicely.”
“Always am willing to indulge in wine,” Dorian chuckled good-naturedly. He would take something from his own personal collection - nice Merlot, a versatile Merlot, that went with just about anything. Including the blackberry-tinged dark chocolate that Beketh was relatively famous for producing, and that Laurence was going to be so kind as to share. Merlot even went with pizza (and he would know - he and Marina had enjoyed that particular combo once or twice, in her massive kitchen).
He procured a bottle from the wine rack, and a corkscrew, busying himself with removing the obstruction and grabbing two wine glasses from the cabinet. “Make yourself cozy,” he instructed - he’d just let the cats wander in and out as they pleased, then. Blackwall was around too, coming into the living room to see what all of the fuss was about - and greet the new person by putting his gigantic head in Laurence’s hand, his own personal way of asking politely to be pet (or as polite as a massive literal blockhead could get - Blackwall was very much like his namesake, he wasn’t very subtle).
“How have you been faring, in our rather strange world?”
Laurence found a seat and had managed to place Dorian’s books and the box of chocolates on th table in front of him before his hand was occupied by the head of a large dog. He blinked, a little startled, and then took to scratching it gently behind the ear. Laurence had never had much interest in dogs or their breeding, so it was little wonder that while the breed looked familiar - he thought it must be related to the Bandogs that the Galmans used to guard their residence - he couldn’t quite place it.
Even still, he murmured “Aren’t you handsome,” to it before he turned his attention back to Dorian, still absently stroking the great beast’s head.
“Quite well, I think,” Laurence said. “I’ve not stopped being shocked by some things.” Things, in fact, that he had several questions about for Dorian, though those could wait until after the pleasantries had been exchanged. “But overall, I think I’m finding my stride quite nicely. The learning curve has been steep, but I believe it’s finally starting to level off a little. I hope the school year has been treating you kindly, thus far?”
The wine was poured into two glasses, and Dorian carried them both into the living room. He figured Blackwall would seek out attention (and yes, he was very handsome - thank you for noticing, Laurence) but he’d also settle soon enough; the mastiff was fond of regally lying near Dorian, resting heavy bones in all of his derptitude (was that a word?) while his owner read a book or graded papers from the comfort of the penthouse. And speaking of grading papers.
“Oh, yes, it’s been an intriguing introduction thus far,” Dorian said, settling on the sofa. “I’ve missed teaching and am glad summer break has come to a close. The shop keeps me busy too, of course, but - there’s something about seeing all those shining happy faces at the University.” Or bleary-eyed, depending on the time of day his classes were - he had some control over that, being Headmaster, so he attempted to not go too hard too early. “That learning curve really is steep, isn’t it? But do be assured - you’ve been doing spectacularly.” It was important to be supportive.
Laurence said his thanks as he took the wine glass and took a sip, pleased but unsurprised that the wine was quite good. Dorian did not seem the kind of man who kept subpar wine in his home.
“I’d hardly say spectacularly,” Laurence said, waving a hand dismissively. He could think of half a dozen missteps he’d made that morning alone. He was willing to admit, quietly to himself, that he was handling the situation better than some; he was sure he’d seen on the Network a man who had been living in a tree and drinking river water.
The dog seemed satisfied by the attention Laurence had given him and left to settle by his master, and with his hand no longer occupied, Laurence reached for the box of chocolates and opened them. “But I do thank you. I cannot repeat enough how much your help has meant to me, and I must thank you again for the books.” He offered Dorian his choice of chocolates. “Please, help yourself.”
Oooh. These chocolates looked delightfully familiar. “You won these at the charity gala, yes?” he asked, reaching in to pluck one of the hand-crafted pieces. “Beketh makes wonderful chocolates. And good wine too - their cave city is fantastic.” The way they’d carved their own space, their solitude, and the crispness of the underground springs; it was quiet and serene and he always found solace in visiting, when he could just let himself get comfortable in a nest of handmade pillows and ignore Vallo proper for awhile. Dorian had been a good number of times, and also was asked to join the coven at one point - it was something he was still considering, for different reasons than before.
The chocolate had a smooth, velvety texture and melted easily - plus the twinge of blackberry gave it a nice sweetness too, contrasted with the bitterness of the dark; he had to close his eyes and savor it for a moment. “You’re quite welcome for the assistance, however. And you know if you need anything else, I’m happy to do what I can.”
Once Dorian selected his chocolate, Laurence did the same. He needed a moment once he popped it in his mouth. He feared that he was liable to become quite the chocoholic if he wasn’t careful. He did wish Temeraire could taste this, though finding a Temeraire-sized chocolate would no doubt be quite the feat.
“I’d tried for a wine basket as well,” he said after his moment of bliss. “I don’t believe it was Beketh though. Unfortunately, I was outbid.” Laurence still wasn’t sure if he’d underbid or overbid. He was becoming much more familiar with the general worth of the currency here, but there were things he thought that should be quite expensive that were relatively cheap compared to other things, and vice versa, and he wasn’t quite sure how to work out its worth. It was very nearly like being back in China for the first time, except that everything in China was markedly cheaper than he’d been expecting.
Laurence shifted in his seat and reached for the wine glass, taking a sip - it paired remarkably well with the chocolate, well done, Dorian - and then taking a breath. “Actually, I was hoping that I might ask you a question that may be a little awkward in nature,” he said, trying but not quite succeeding in hiding his unease. “I don’t mean to keep taking advantage, so you’re of course welcome to refuse if you wish.”
The wine basket might have been Silniara - their vineyards were also gorgeous, and Dorian was glad that they had partnered with various bars in the city to peddle their wares. His attention shifted from the nuances of the fermented grape juice to Laurence’s inquiry - and before he said he didn’t want to gossip. Well. Nothing quite like questions that were awkward to really add some juiciness to the conversation, yes?
“You may ask me anything,” he assured, sipping on his wine and still holding the glass - he held it by the stem, however. Carefully, as he tucked one knee over the other and maintained a regal pose upon the sofa (while Blackwall, the quasi-regal pup, snoozed at his feet). “I’ve faced my fair share of awkward situations, so I doubt a question will even register.”
“Well…” Laurence said, struggling to get his thoughts in some sort of order that would allow him to ask his question by causing the least amount of awkwardness. “I think I’ve become accustomed to the idea that people here are much more open in their affections than they are back home.” He knew, for instance, that his parents had real affection for one another, but it would be hard to tell if it wasn’t for the existence of himself and his two older brothers. Their affections were kept privately, and were rarely even seen by their children. “But I’ve noticed… That is to say…”
No, this was all wrong. He took a hearty gulp of his wine, and started again. “For instance, at the Charity Gala, I saw men dancing with one another, but I had assumed, at the time, that it was just some local custom; it doesn’t indicate anything about my relationship with a woman when I dance with her, and so…”
No, this wasn’t any good at all. He gave Dorian a pleading glance, hoping he could understand what, exactly, it was that he was trying to ask.
Oh. Oh Maker. This was the greatest day of Dorian’s life, it truly was. Never did he think he would have to explain the gay to someone and right now he just felt like an artist of the highest caliber - should he volunteer to give Laurence a hands-on lesson in all things dick?
No. No. They were friends but that would surely kill the poor man and then Dorian would have to pull ‘raise the dead’ from his bag of tricks and wouldn’t that be awkward? Even more awkward than this conversation?
Alas. He would attempt to muster up enough tact to be helpful and reassure Laurence that these questions were perfectly normal for some. In Thedas, it wasn’t strange to be involved with someone of the same gender - it didn’t really even have to be hidden (unless you were like Dorian and expected to breed, then the gayness caused problems). “Relationships with someone of the same gender are widely accepted here, yes,” he replied, going for another chocolate. Just one more - Laurence could have the rest, but Dorian needed something sweet to go along with this conversation since he was liable to turn bitter if they delved into how he’d failed his family for not wanting to marry and reproduce with someone he couldn’t stand.
“There’s even a festival that celebrates those sorts of relationships - same gendered ones, or those who are attracted to both genders, those who aren’t attracted to any. It’s nice to see, and participate in. Especially for those of us who faced trials and tribulations for loving who we chose to love,” he shared.
Laurence blinked in clear astonishment at the idea of there being a festival in celebration of it; the idea was so utterly foreign to him that he couldn’t even imagine how such a thing could be done. “It is a capital crime where I am from,” Laurence said, startled into speaking before he had time to think over his words. “The practice is not unknown to me, of course. I came up in the Navy. The bulkheads are hardly thick enough to keep something like that anything like that a proper secret even if it were possible with over 200 men living in such close quarters, so we all knew of several fine officers gui - who practiced it, but I’d always thought it arose from a lack of opportunity.”
“In some cases, it may very well be,” Dorian lifted one shoulder in a casual shrug. “Others - not so much. It’s not exactly a crime in Tevinter, but the Imperium is very much about preserving bloodlines and perfect mage families producing heirs who will become more perfect mages. If you’re not interested in that, then who knows - your own father may very well try to cure you of your affliction.”
That was said bitterly, but they weren’t here to talk about him. He swirled his dark wine in the glass, sipping from it as he considered what to say next. “My lover at the time - Max, he’s actually here too - faced a lot of scrutiny for being involved with me, but that wasn’t due to the fact that I’m a man, it was...more where I was from. Anyway, point is, there’s a lot of openness in Vallo when it comes to sexual proclivities and as long as what you’re doing isn’t hurting anyone else and everyone is consenting and adult, well. ‘Go off’ is the phrase, I suppose.”
Now for a more difficult question. “Are you - considering that you may be interested in something like that?” Dorian wanted to know. “You don’t have to answer, mind you. I only bring it up because I went through the same thing - the questioning and the trying to figure out who I am and what made me happy sort of journey.”
Laurence's lips thinned a little at the bitterness in Dorian's voice. He had, of course, remembered that Dorian thought rather poorly of his father - it was difficult to forget when it had proclaimed it so openly - and he thought he might have understood a little more now. He couldn't ask for details, of course - he'd not pry into Dorian's personal life for any information not freely given - but he thought he might understand. He'd known several boys who'd run to joined the Navy because of a parent's proclivity for beating some unwanted trait out of them.
"I suppose that also would pertain to people who are openly in relationships with more than one person," Laurence said, a little slower. Seeing that at the dinner party he'd attended had thrown him as much as the fact that all members of the relationship were of the same sex. Infidelity was hardly unknown in a world where marriage was more often a matter of standing than because of anything resembling love or even like - there were, in fact, rules governing how to properly conduct one's affairs - but it was never so open and this hadn't seemed to be its like.
He blinked at Dorian's question, and then waved a hand dismissively. "Oh no, nothing like that," he said.
He hadn't, if fact, wanted anyone, man or woman, since he'd proposed to his previous lover - his superior officer, though she hadn't been when they'd entered into their relationship - and she'd turned him down without hesitation, which he could not hold against her. He'd betrayed her and his country the next night, expecting the hangman's noose for his crime, and even if he hadn't died, some small, vital part of him necessary to desire had. He hardly thought himself worthy of it, all said and done, after all a connection to him had done to the reputations of the two women in his life with whom he'd had relations.
"I hope your journey has brought you to happiness," Laurence said, a gentle query that Dorian was free to answer or ignore as he saw fit.
Yes, some people were polyamorous as well - not Dorian’s cup of tea, but he certainly didn’t begrudge anyone their happiness in that regard, if everyone in the open relationship was on the same page and on board with whatever was going on. Was he happy though? Well. He had been - until he ended up living here after Atreus ended their relationship and their cohabitation, feeling as if he could no longer return to Skyhold either. The emptiness was like the same wound, carved over and over within him - Max had moved on, Cullen had moved on, they all found their own lives and their own joy here in Vallo and Dorian was glad for them, truly. But he wanted to give them the space to let his loved ones enjoy what they’d built, without being reminded of all he personally had lost.
“Vallo has had its up and downs,” he replied, finishing off his first glass of wine and splashing a bit more in there - just halfway, something he could leisurely sip on. “I’m just now coming out of a very depressing down but I believe that things will turn around. I’ve got you now, and other new friends - and that’s a comfort to me.”
Laurence could not be happy that Dorian had just come through a depressing time, but he did feel a curious sort of warmth at Dorian mentioning that he considered Laurence's presence a comfort. A warmth that was tinged with a shade of guilt, because he'd not yet been completely honest with his new friend. He'd spoken no falsehoods, but the very act of not disclosing his act of treason and the less-than-honourable conduct that had followed was a cowardly sort of avoidance that was close enough to a lie to make no real difference. It was a choice he'd made, and he should not escape the consequences of it simply by finding himself in a place where no one could reasonably know of his crimes.
"Dorian, there is something you must know," Laurence said, placing his wine glass down on the table. He continued on before he had a chance to be dissuaded. "Nearly three years ago, I committed an act of treason against my king and country. I would be willing to go into my reasons for it, should you wish for them. I should have, rightly, been hanged for what I did, but because of my unique position as Temeraire's captain, they could not without risking his defecting to France; by keeping me alive they could ensure his good behaviour and obedience in the breeding grounds. Afterward, I-" and here he stumbled, "After, Britain was invaded and I was permitted to fight for her again, in an unofficial capacity, but I… I conducted battle in a way which no decent man could be proud. They've since transported myself and Temeraire to a penal colony so we can no longer trouble them. I'm dreadfully sorry for keeping all of this from you for so long; if you wish to terminate our acquaintance, I would understand and would bear you no ill will."
Now that was quite the tangent. Not that Dorian minded - he suspected perhaps Laurence needed to get this all of his chest, which was fair. He really was quite adorable though, wasn’t he? “Laurence,” Dorian chuckled, but not unkindly. It was warm and fond, spiced in his own unique sort of way.
“You don’t have to go into your reasons, but I’m sure whatever they were - you thought what you were doing was the right thing. And it’s not as if I’m one to talk about treason,” he scoffed. “I went against everything I’ve ever known and what was expected of me, I threw away a life of privilege and comfort to join the Inquisition and fight to save the world from being swallowed by evil - and I did it because it was my choice. Because I believed strongly in what I was doing.”
He felt as if he could see Laurence’s heart for what it was - and it was good. Dorian knew what ‘vile’ and ‘twisted’ looked like; he’d seen it all in Tevinter, in Magisters who used their help as blood magic fodder for their forbidden rituals. In slave traders, the rubbish who paraded elves around markets as if they weren’t people but pets instead. That wasn’t anything like his friend.
“And honestly, your story is your own to tell. You can tell what you feel comfortable telling me, whenever you’re comfortable telling it.” Safe to say, their acquaintance wasn’t going anywhere.
Laurence had no shame about the reasons for his treason - if he were offered the choice a hundred times or more, he'd make the same choice every time, for it had been nothing less than his duty, regardless of the consequences. He could almost be considered proud of his reasons. It was the treason itself - the fact that what he'd done could be considered treason at all, the fact that his choices had negatively impacted so many people that he cared about, the idea of knowing that, even if he didn't think himself a traitor, he was a traitor in fact - that pained him, and so it was likely the only part of the story he'd be liable to bring up unprompted.
But Dorian's acceptance brought a smile to his face and drew some of the tension out from his shoulders, and he reached for his wine glass again. His and Dorian's histories were remarkably similar, more so than he would have thought possible. Laurence hadn't done anything so noble as quell an evil that threatened the world entire, but the rest of it, the sacrifice for doing what was right…
"Then, Dorian, I am honoured that you consider me a friend, and I hope that I may be able to offer you even a fraction of the comfort you've given me in my short time here."
“You already do,” Dorian assured. “Having stalwart companions is important to me. Means a lot.” It really did - especially as of recent times, when his whole life got upended and he worked to pick up the pieces of whatever was smashed onto the proverbial floor. He was much better now, in a decent place, and busy with his teachings, the shop, and his other various research projects.
The corners of his mouth quirked northward in a smile, a twitch of that elegantly groomed mustache. “Besides, who else am I going to enjoy such fine chocolate and wine with? Certainly not Blackwall.” The mastiff looked up when his name was mentioned, ears perked - he appeared to be hopeful, in fact, as if either of the two humans were fit and ready to drop scraps for him to eagerly consume.
“Chocolate is terrible for you. Don’t you even think about it.”
Laurence didn't think he'd ever been described as stalwart before, and he was unexpectedly touched.
"Then, I hope we'll have plenty more opportunities to enjoy chocolate, wine, and pleasant company," Laurence said, raising his glass in a casual sort of toast.