WHERE:Vallo Forest: Physical Kids' Cottage WHEN:June 24th, 2021 (Backdated) WHAT:Margo's had a long day, is feeling a little emotional, and whiplashes between 'I don't care about anything.' to 'Hi, just hold me.' Jake's along for the ride and for some answers. WARNINGS:None STATUS:Complete
Jake had a better idea of what to expect from that night's planning session since Kady had shown up Saturday after things had gone to hell. He'd heard about their trip and Margo getting shot, and had dealt with her nervous energy that had manifested as anger and frustration but had masked genuine concern in the midst of it.
Or so Jake thought.
So the list of what they were up against was no surprise and he had managed to get a decent idea of the layout from Kady's ranting. The group had dispersed, Eliot was off somewhere dealing with her newfound womanhood, and that left Jake hanging out in the kitchen, eating pie. He hadn't been lying when he'd said he'd bring snacks.
"So, you're doing alright?" he asked. "Wound still healing well?"
Between Kady’s half in, half out attitude which she recognized from any number of times she had worked with the Hedge when she was convinced something was going to go tits up, Eliot being overdramatic about his new female body and all the lovely perks that came with it, and the unusual quietness from Jake, Margo had one hell of a headache. All the daydrinking she had done probably hadn’t helped, especially considering she was still healing from the more-than-a-graze she had, but ‘alright’ was Margo’s default. There was never a time she wasn’t ‘alright.’ But could she be better? Definitely.
But she didn’t say as much. She had realized her mistake over a week ago when Jake had made that comment about her not leaving and she realized she had been oversharing and getting too comfortable with him. And whenever she got comfortable with anyone...well, she ended up wearing their blood on her. So she wasn’t going to go through that again, which is why she gave him a non-committal “Mm,” as she cleaned up the mess from the snacks that had been eaten by the rest of the group before they had left for the night.
Margo had been hoping Jake would have taken off with Kady, but of course her luck wasn’t that good. “Good pie?” She asked, instead of answering any of his questions, as she washed the crumbs off the other plates and stuck them in the dishwasher. Normally, she would do them by hand, but she was going to be nice to herself and not try to have a lot to do before bed. It was already late and once Jake was gone, she was going to crawl into bed and sleep for a year.
"The best," Jake said enthusiastically, allowing himself to be temporarily distracted. "Saw that post on the network and it means that I have to run an extra half mile each day. Worth it though."
He held the plate in one hand, fork in the other, and took another bite before he looked at her. She hadn't answered his question, just like she'd gone silent in their odd conversation in which she seemed primed to just up and vanish without a trace, something that he still didn't understand.
Rather than pointing out the obvious, he instead asked the question again, this time more directly.
"How are you, Margo?"
She had been relieved when he had started in on the pie and how it was good, thinking she had gotten away with not sharing anything of her own, until he asked again, pointedly. Margo didn’t answer for a few moments, still resisting talking about herself, and spent a few moments washing her hands. But once she was done doing that, she had no choice but to answer. “I’m great,” she said, lying easily, the throbbing behind her eyes pointing out how much of a liar she was. “Good meeting, wasn’t it? Hearing all the ways that we’re going to die if we don’t get it right?”
The enthusiasm of her tone was at odds with her words, but what else could she do? She just wanted to sleep at this point. Today was supposed to be a good day and everything was going wrong. The softer side of her just wanted Eliot to hold her and tell her everything was fine, but he was in the wrong body and focused on Quentin and the Asgardian lately. “Want more pie? I think there’s a piece or two left.”
"I'd split a piece," he answered, more out of habit than anything else. Jake wasn't the type to turn down food, especially food that he'd bought, that he'd have had to barter for back home when he'd been living in the shattered cities. Of course, when his most desired items were cookies and hot sauce, he clearly hadn't had it too rough. Either way though, food was food.
He waited to see if she was going to cut a slice in half or pass, considering her again. "I like a good challenge," he said with a shrug. "And I'm in. But is what that coven did really worth this risk?"
He was all in. He'd paid attention, made suggestions where he could, pointed out where he could be more than just a getaway driver. He was military after all. They had taught him some things. But mostly, he cared about the people involved. He wasn't about to do any of this half-assed and make the odds more difficult than they already were.
In all honesty? It probably wasn’t worth all the trouble Margo was going through. Nick had moved on and seemed happier for it, but Margo had a little problem where she was, unfortunately, bored. With no kingdom to run, classes to teach, or quests to be had, she was listless. Without purpose, she tended toward trouble. And, as Ostyia had pointed out, she had something to prove.
Margo merely shrugged, unwilling to look too deep into her own motives. “If you’re not up for it, that’s okay. I’m still doing it and I don’t mind finding another way or with other people. I trust the rest of you which is why I brought you in, but I’m definitely not going to hold anyone hostage over this.” God, she wished that Hennesey was still around. She seemed exactly like her kind of trouble.
She took his plate and put another slice on it. But instead of making him eat it by himself, she sat down next to him with a fork of her own.
"I'm in," Jake repeated, before taking another bite and thinking over what he wanted to say. He pushed the plate slightly closer to her, because he was counting on her to eat at least half of it. "Like I'd back out and let you try that mess without me. I care about all of you, and we're all getting out of there unscathed. With the magic bird."
He had no idea what she was going to do with the phoenix once she got it and he wasn't sure that was something he could liquidate, but if she wanted him to try, he would. There was probably some market for magic birds he was unaware of, just as he had been unaware that such birds existed.
Phoenix feathers were rare and their tears were even more sought after. Margo had plans for both, but her ultimate hope was to pull some do gooder shit and release the thing into the wild so it could live in peace. The rest of them would get a payout, sure, but Margo was in it to free that bird because it was a little fucked up to have something so rare and beautiful trapped like it was.
“Great,” she said, poking the pie with her fork and spearing a small piece to bring to her mouth. “I think I’m going to disband the group though, after this one.” The bombshell was dropped all too casually, as she chewed on her food.
It was dropped casually, and Jake turned to look at her for a moment, before taking another bite of the pie. When he finished, he said, "If I pissed you off, you would tell me." It wasn't phrased at all like a question. He knew she wouldn't be shy about telling him, but that was the only thing that came to mine when she suddenly didn't want anything to do with him, apparently. "But I have no clue what's going on right now. Care to fill me in?"
Talking about disappearing, now talking about disbanding the group which to be fair, almost everyone seemed to have questions after finding out Margo had been shot, but nothing sat right with him. They'd gone from having an easy level of comfort with each other to whatever this was.
“If you had pissed me off, you wouldn’t be sitting here, sharing a pie with me,” Margo said with a roll of her eyes, before cutting a look at him. “Relax. It’s time for something new, before people catch up to us. There’s some precog bullshit being murmured about too and I know all of you got spooked after my graze. So it’s time to call it quits before you all start feeling obligated to be around.”
The way Jake spoke about caring about them had just helped her solidify the thought. If she was going to do anymore reckless shit, she would have to do it solo. She didn’t want to be responsible for any of the others getting hurt and she would be, if they did. “Anyway, it’s always good to go out on a high note. And I think this one is worth it.”
"I don't think this group would feel like they had to stick around," Jake pointed out. Kady might be doing that on this one, he wasn't sure. But he could see her bailing after it all the same, so Margo might have had a point.
"What's worth it about this one?" he asked, genuinely curious. "So much so that a bullet won't keep you away?"
“Pettiness,” Margo said, not caring to elaborate because Ostyia had hit the nail on its head, earlier in her messages to the group. Margo rarely failed and when she did, she was stubborn enough to keep trying. “And I keep telling you guys, it was just a graze. I would have lived either way, once the bleeding was stopped.”
She was intently focused on the pie, trying to seem more aloof than she was feeling.
"Well, good," Jake replied, snagging another bite of pie. "But I don't think that's the whole story." He took one last bite and then got up and dropped his fork into the dishwasher. He knew better than to think he was going to get it from her though.
"I wanted to check up on you," he pointed out, now that there was some distance between them. "But I also don't want you to just up and disappear. So when you're willing to tell me what that was about, let me know."
“What do you want to know? How I underestimated the guards and their willingness to shoot a bitch? Because I did. And not loving being reminded of that,” Margo said, stabbing what was left of the pie before grumpily eating it. She took a long minute to properly chew it, before she got up and dumped the plate and fork in the sink. She’d rinse and stick it in the dishwasher later, when she wasn’t feeling so wound up.
Pacing, she ran her hand through hair and the words started to spill out. “Listen, I’m no good at people. Big fucking shock, I know. And when people get close, they end up getting disappointed because I’m not who they thought I was or I end up getting disappointed because they fuck up somehow. So yeah, I don’t set a lot of roots down. So you? Talking about not wanting me to disappear if I feel like I need to? Makes me want to do exactly that, Pentecost.”
There were a lot of words coming out of her that she didn’t intend to have out that night, but there they were. Margo’s bad habit of repressing everything until it came out at the most inopportune moment kept on tracking.
Wow. That was a lot. Jake took everything in, not speaking right away, but when he did he addressed what he considered the most pressing issue first. "Okay, so like those are two extremes, right?" he asked. "Like if we had a scale of where we fell as friends and down here," he gestured, hold his hand out low, "we have you fucking off without a word and we're not friends at all anymore, and up here…" Again, he demonstrated by raising his hand above his head. "We have the pressure of being up on pedestals and expecting too much of each other, surely we can find a nice happy medium around here?"
He moved his hand, still laid flat, to eye level. "Or here?" he asked, lowering it a bit. "Don't make me go too low, Hanson." Was the entire demonstration slightly ridiculous? Probably. Did he care? No.
"Look, I don't want to scare you off but I don't want you to feel pressured to be someone you're not, either. What we have is good. It's comfortable. Nothing wrong with enjoying that."
The tiny smile that escaped her didn't have her permission to make itself known, but there it was, amused by his dumb demonstration. "Fine, I can admit that I like whatever is going on." But the amusement faded quickly because he still didn't get it. He thought he did, but he really, really didn't.
It wasn't him she was worried about making this more than it was. It was her. But no way in hell was she going to say that. Not now. Not ever.
"But you gotta stop talking like this is more than what it is. Just...don't talk about things like they're permanent. Makes me itchy and I don't like it," Margo explained. "Good?"
The tiny smile did not go unnoticed, and Jake smiled right back at her. "So we're here," he said, moving his hand back up to where they'd decided things were good. "For now. Not permanent. Good. I got it."
He may have been slightly teasing, but he was also caught up in that hint of a smile before it had faded. His expression sobered slightly though as he added, "As to things not going according to plan? Things rarely go according to plan. We'd been lucky, really. But it's not just planning everything out perfectly when the slightest variation can throw everything off, it's being able to think on your feet and the two of you managed to do that, and you're alright. That's what matters."
He walked over to her then and asked, "Are you alright?" Because she clearly had a lot going on.
She let the conversation on the crime gang her injury dropped. Margo had been over that subject before it had even begun. Instead, she shrugged and turned away to grab her chilled bottle of water from the fridge, something she would take up to her room for the night. It was an excuse to put a little distance between them. She needed it, after being unintentionally vulnerable in front of Jake.
"All good. Just a lot on my mind and I'm probably a little hungover, to be honest. I think I'm going to turn in though…" she trailed off, unsure whether she wanted to invite him up so he could fuck her to sleep or whether she just wanted to be held. So she considered kicking him out and found that option wasn't satisfactory either. "You wanna come up or…?"
Like Jake wasn't going to stick around, glad that she'd invited him up rather than sending him home after that particular conversation. Maybe he didn't really understand the extent of what she'd told him. He definitely hadn't caught on that she was worried that she was making it out to be something.
He did, however, manage to catch on to just how tired she was. So when he climbed into the bed, he simply reached for her, ignoring previous comments she'd made about not having people spend the night. He thought she could get over that for one night.
Margo had a whole routine she normally did before bed. Shower, teeth, lotions, and serums. But tonight, she settled for getting out of her clothes and getting in bed. She waited for him to get out of his own clothes and join her, but she was very surprised to find that he had no sexy intentions toward her.
That made her internal conflict about their whole situation flare up again, but she told it to shut up for the moment. Letting him be the big spoon to her little spoon, which was exactly what she wanted at the moment, albeit, originally from Eliot’s regular body, she felt a little bit better about everything piling up today.
But because she was Margo, she muttered as she started to fall asleep, “Don’t get used to this.” Because she still didn’t do overnights. Just tonight...was the exception.