About a week had gone by, and Roz hadn’t heard anything from Sabrina yet. She sent messages daily, sometimes several times a day. They varied in content from ‘please talk to me’ to ‘take care of yourself’ or heart emojis when she couldn’t think of anything to say. Roz hadn’t received a response yet, but she didn’t really expect to. The new memories she had woken up with had been horrible, soul crushing, the type of thing no teenager should have to deal with, and they hadn’t even happened to her. She knew Sabrina and Nick would need time, but Roz still wanted Sabrina (both of them) to know that she was here.
She had taken some time off from school, though she had her homework delivered to the Sanctum to keep on top of learning. Roz kept herself busy studying, or taking extra care of the library that really didn’t need that much care at this point. She’d kept to herself for most of the week, only venturing into the kitchen when it was empty, or speaking to the other residents when spoken to.
Roz had finished organizing a bookshelf for the second time when she felt her phone buzz in the pocket of her pants. She expected it to be someone from school, so when Sabrina’s name flashed across her screen she sucked in a breath, and quickly unlocked it to read the message. After reading the response she had been waiting for, Roz was hurrying out of the Sanctum and teleporting to Morningside without a second though. She knew that was where they had been staying, but now Roz knew if she showed up there was a chance she’d actually be able to see them.
“Sabrina?” she called out, her fist knocking on the door of the apartment her friends had escaped to. “Can I come in?”
It had been a long, tiring week. One full of fitful sleep and Sabrina mostly laying around, trying not to dream and remember anything anymore. But exhaustion always seemed to win out, pulling her into a restless slumber and reminding her of every awful thing that had happened. She hadn’t checked the network, hadn’t known where her phone was or even cared about its location until earlier that morning. Talking to others had been too difficult. Even Nick hadn’t gotten much from her those first few days and she’d sent Dan off without much of a conversation either.
Talking to Ambrose had helped and then finally really talking to Nick and having that conversation that had needed to happen had helped as well. So when she’d finally been able to look at her phone, it was Roz’s messages that she read first and replied right away to them.
She had missed her best friend and waved the front door open. She’d been in the middle of eating some lunch when she’d texted her friend and wasn’t surprised to find Roz teleporting directly over. “Nick made sandwiches,” Sabrina said, by way of greeting as she scooted off the chair she’d been sitting on and headed over to her friend, wrapping her arms tightly around Roz.
As soon as the door had opened, Roz stepped into the apartment and scanned the space until she found Sabrina in a chair with some sandwiches. That was good, she silently noted. She was at least eating something.
Roz met Sabrina half way, and returned the hug as tightly as she could. She’d be lying if she said there was a knot that loosened ever so slightly in her stomach. Being able to see her best friend and know that she was safe here was something Roz had been trying to keep at the front of her mind all week.
There wasn’t exactly a ‘right’ thing to say in this situation. Roz had thought about what she might say when Sabrina was ready to see people again, but everything she had considered was already gone from Roz’s mind. Instead she hugged Sabrina just a little more tightly. “I love you, Brina.”
Figuring out the words to say wasn’t any easier today than it had been nearly a week ago. The waves of grief were at least not as overpowering anymore, no longer pulling her down into their undertow until she couldn’t handle being around anyone. Seeing others helped, reminders that at least in this world her life wasn’t over. That Nick’s life wasn’t over either.
It didn’t help with the knowledge that her death had hurt so many people though. But there was little Sabrina could say or do to comfort anyone with that. She’d done what she thought had needed to happen in order for the world to be saved. Hindsight was twenty-twenty and all of the alternatives she’d been coming up with meant very little in the grand scheme of things. Nick and her were still dead back there.
So Sabrina settled for, “I love you too.”
She didn’t want to let Sabrina go, the memory of her laying on that altar in the cave was all too fresh in Roz’s mind. It was something that was probably going to haunt her even here, where Sabrina was alive and safe. But she had to let go at some point. As she pulled away, she quickly dabbed at her eyes to banish any tears that were threatening to mist over. She would hold herself together as long as Sabrina was.
“Is Nick here with you?” She hadn’t heard him, but maybe he was hiding in the bedrooms, or somewhere else. She hadn’t spent a lot of time in these apartments, she’d only been inside of one in regular Vallo once or twice. The ones in Dark Vallo had hardly been comparable.
“He’s currently trying to do our laundry.” Sabrina had to laugh at that, remembering his questions earlier before she’d texted Roz back finally. She’d offered to help but he’d insisted he could manage it while she talked to Roz. She was expecting their whites to all be red or shrunk by the time he was done.
Laughing had been good. She was pretty sure it was the first time she had since...well. Sabrina finally pulled away from her friend and headed back to the table. She’d promised she’d eat the entire sandwich. “I don’t really know what to say.”
I’m sorry just seemed so inadequate for all the pain that had been caused.
The idea of Nick doing laundry did cause her to smile just slightly, and then Sabrina’s laughter just a little more. “I hope he knows to separate colors, and not everything goes in the dryer.” Hopefully magic could undo any potential damage.
Roz followed Sabrina to the table, sliding into the seat beside her, arms resting crossed on the table surface. “I don’t either.” she admitted, quietly, looking down at her hands. How was it possible that the coven had access to so much magic, and they hadn’t been able to save either one of the Sabrinas. “I wish I could say I remember the coven forming a plan to….” get them back? Fix it? “...do something.” But she hadn’t been spending a lot of time with any of them since the funeral. She’d mostly been with her parents, or Harvey, or Theo and Robin. Prudence had popped up once or twice with Agatha. “I’m sorry.”
The worst part was that Sabrina didn’t even want a plan to get her back any longer. Not if it meant that Nick would be locked away in that weird white realm she’d somehow ended up in. If the coven managed to get her back and he was left behind...Sabrina couldn’t even think of how that would ache. It’d be like losing him to Hell all over again but worse. So much worse. And she’d have to do everything in her power to try and get to him again. A vicious cycle that would probably never end.
They were okay in Vallo though. She had to keep trying to hold tightly to that knowledge or everything would come crashing down again. “It’s not your fault, Roz. You don’t need to apologize.”
Sabrina wasn’t sure there was anyone to really blame anymore.
Maybe the False God.
Or Lucifer. Lilith. Blackwood. Everyone who’d ever manipulated all of them.
She wasn’t all that fond of Hecate either anymore.
Roz knew it wasn’t her fault. Or Sabrina’s. If she was going to blame someone it would be Blackwood, for unleashing the terrors onto their world. But even that was going to get them nowhere. He was scattered to the far corners of the Earth. But she was still sorry, still felt terrible, because she didn’t know if there was a plan to save them. She didn’t even know if it was possible.
But that wasn’t something she needed to say to Sabrina, because she had enough to try and process now. So Roz just nodded.
There wasn’t any point in asking if Sabrina was okay, or how she was doing. Those questions were all stupid. Roz had no idea what she wanted to say anymore, her focus had just being able to see Sabrina again. “Is there anything you need? Anything I can do?”
Sabrina was grateful that Roz hadn’t asked her the obvious. She wasn’t okay and Sabrina doubted that she would be okay for a long while. The question she’d been asked were just as hard to answer though. Part of her wanted to give some sort of response that would maybe put her friend at ease but she was at a loss for what that would even be any longer.
“I don’t think so. Just kind of need to take it day by day, I think.”
She could do that. It was what she had been doing now. One day at a time. “Would it be okay if I hung out here with you until Nick comes back?” she didn’t want to overstay her welcome, but she didn’t want to leave yet. Even if the visit was sandwiched in silence for another ten minutes or so.
“I am definitely okay with you hanging out with me until Nick gets back.” She didn’t feel the need to be completely alone like she had earlier in the week, feeling a little more at ease to be around others again. “I think we’ll head back to the mortuary in another day or so.” She was nearly ready to step back into that place.
She visibly relaxed a little when Sabrina confirmed she could stay until Nick was back. She needed just a few more minutes with visible proof that Sabrina was as okay as to be expected. Though if Sabrina had said no, she wouldn’t have argued. “I’ve been at the Sanctum,” she said with a shrug. “It felt a little weird to stay there without the two of you.” And she needed her own time and space to start to sort through her own grief. “Whenever you’re ready though, it will be nice to have you just down the hall again.”
Sabrina had wondered what Roz had done, especially now that she knew Roz knew what was going on. “I’m glad you have that place to go to.” It helped to have somewhere to call one’s own. The mortuary was that for her and so was Hell even a little there. And Lux. It helped to know she could go to her dad’s place when she needed.
She probably needed to reach out to him too soon. But one step at a time.
Honestly, she was too. Despite the large number of objects in the Sanctum that were still unknown to her and had potentially dangerous purposes, she felt comfortable there. But that wasn’t what she wanted to focus on for now. “It’s nice there.” she said with a casual shrug. “But so are these apartments though?” she finally noted, actually looking and paying attention for the first time. She had only really spent time in the Dark Vallo version. “I didn’t realize they were this nice.” It was definitely a different vibe from the mortuary. Which was apparently the only thing she could think to talk about when she was trying to avoid talking about the most obvious thing that they both wanted to avoid. “Hey, when you’re ready maybe we could have another girls day? We could find a theatre playing some old horror movies,” there was probably one somewhere, this city seemed to have everything, “Maybe go shopping and dinner after? No rush for when.”
Sabrina glanced around. “I lived in one of these when I first got here, before Dan and I moved into the mortuary when it showed up.” They weren’t bad. Just lacked a hominess feeling to them. Though that could probably change with some time and effort. They still felt a little sterile to her. Very cookie cutter and almost all the same from what she remembered.
Talk of plans was a little daunting. She had only made it out of the apartment with Nick for a little while the other day, but nothing had to be set in stone just yet, and Sabrina did want to hang out with Roz eventually. “A girl’s day would definitely be nice. I’m sure we can figure something out.”
Figuring something out was all she could really ask for. It didn’t have to be anytime soon. Just the fact that she was willing to talk about anything mundane in the future was hopeful. “Sounds good.” she said with a small smile. One day at a time, following their lead.