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Tweak says, "I was so fuckin' scared . . ."

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Defender of the Rainbow ([info]starlightlady) wrote in [info]valarnet,
@ 2019-01-03 20:21:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:blake belladonna, feyre archeron, hayley marshall, nico di angelo

In my Dreamworld, the lesser Fae have to give tithes to the Lord of the Spring Court. And it seems kind of unfair, especially when food is scarce and they have nothing to give.



So I helped one of the water-fae pay her debt. Tamlin didn't take that well and when I tried to tell him how I felt controlled and trapped, he blew up.

Almost literally.

I somehow produced a wall of air that protected me from his energy. He was apologetic and I forgave him but...He still wasn't noticing how I'm wasting away.

Only the Lord of the Night Court is noticing there's something wrong, and I'm not willing to trust him yet.

But last night it came to a head. Tamlin locked me in the estate and warded it so I couldn't get out. For my own protection, he said. Watching yourself get fucking abused and not being able to do anything about it is a great New Year's gift, right?

I kinda lost it. Fire and shadow and wind and I don't know what happened except Rhysand tore down Tamlin's wards and had his cousin Morrigan come and get me because if he came himself it would start a war between the two courts.

Woke up and my room is trashed.


(Post a new comment)


[info]imnotrunning
2019-01-04 07:52 am UTC (link)
I'm sorry you had to suffer that, though at least someone came to help you.

I know what it's like...to be abused. To know what it's like to waste away with next to no one noticing and being too scared to say anything.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]starlightlady
2019-01-04 08:03 am UTC (link)
That ... that is exactly what it was like. My fiance didn't even notice. Even my friends weren't paying attention. Or refused to see what he was doing to me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]imnotrunning
2019-01-04 08:09 am UTC (link)
I don't think anyone noticed in my dreams. At least, I don't recall any of my friends bringing it up.

This life...people noticed, but there was no help to be given for us. Not the help we needed, at any rate.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]starlightlady
2019-01-04 10:16 am UTC (link)
The sad and scary thing is I don't think he... means it. Which makes me wonder if something is wrong with me.

I'm glad I never met him here.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]imnotrunning
2019-01-11 07:56 pm UTC (link)
Or maybe it's something with him that he can't control? Like some spell or something. I just wish the same was true in my case, but both of my abusers meant it.

I'm glad for that as well. Dealing with it in one life is more than enough.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]starlightlady
2019-01-11 08:00 pm UTC (link)
He was cursed, I broke that curse.

So this is... all him. I get being overprotective but it's veered into controlling and a little sexist.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]imnotrunning
2019-01-11 08:12 pm UTC (link)
Ah, I see. Clearly he just believes he's protecting you, but doesn't see that he crossed the line. Are you able to bring it up to him in the dreams or is he not giving you the chance to do so?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]starlightlady
2019-01-11 08:33 pm UTC (link)
Every time I tried he shuts it down. I'm not going back.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]imnotrunning
2019-01-11 08:37 pm UTC (link)
Good, you deserve better than that.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]starlightlady
2019-01-11 08:42 pm UTC (link)
I still can't quite believe I might find friends in the Night Court.

Everyone else calls them monsters. But they've been so kind to me.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]imnotrunning
2019-01-11 08:45 pm UTC (link)
Sometimes you find friends in the most unlikely of places. Hopefully they will continue to be kind to you.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]starlightlady
2019-01-11 09:07 pm UTC (link)
Thank you.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]wolfgirl
2019-01-04 04:41 pm UTC (link)
I have no words from all your dreams have put you through, I'm so sorry they have gotten worse.

Why don't you come down to the studio for a meditation session, free on the house, than we can go out for drinks?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]starlightlady
2019-01-04 08:35 pm UTC (link)
I think that sounds nice...

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wolfgirl
2019-01-04 08:58 pm UTC (link)
Come on down.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]starlightlady
2019-01-04 09:02 pm UTC (link)
Want me to bring anything?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wolfgirl
2019-01-05 01:09 pm UTC (link)
Unless you want to, but there's nothing to bring.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]starlightlady
2019-01-05 06:54 pm UTC (link)
All right.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wolfgirl
2019-01-06 05:32 pm UTC (link)
Maybe a change of clothes. Wear something loose and comfortable.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]starlightlady
2019-01-06 08:34 pm UTC (link)
Baggy sweats it is

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]wolfgirl
2019-01-08 06:37 pm UTC (link)
Sounds good.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]starlightlady
2019-01-08 06:55 pm UTC (link)
See you soon

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]angelsbreath
2019-01-07 03:29 am UTC (link)
Yeah I doubt anyone could blame you for kind of losing it. I really hope somebody punches this Tamlin dude in the nuts for doing that to you.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]starlightlady
2019-01-07 08:00 am UTC (link)
I'm pretty sure Mor and Rhysand want to.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]angelsbreath
2019-01-08 02:23 am UTC (link)
Might sink in more if your dreamself did it but fingers crossed one of them does.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]starlightlady
2019-01-08 02:36 am UTC (link)
It's bizarre that I'm more scared of my fiance than the Lord of the Night Court.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]angelsbreath
2019-01-08 03:16 am UTC (link)
It'd be more bizarre if you weren't more scared of the guy who locked you up than the guy who sent someone to rescue you.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]starlightlady
2019-01-08 05:03 am UTC (link)
..that was probably the gaslighting talking yeah

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]angelsbreath
2019-01-11 11:24 pm UTC (link)
Just a little bit I think.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]starlightlady
2019-01-11 11:30 pm UTC (link)
I love him and I hate him

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]angelsbreath
2019-01-13 02:34 am UTC (link)
You talking about at the same time or kind of alternating?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]starlightlady
2019-01-13 02:36 am UTC (link)
Yes

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]angelsbreath
2019-01-13 03:40 am UTC (link)
That makes a weird amount of sense to me I think.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]starlightlady
2019-01-13 04:30 am UTC (link)
I wish it didn't

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]angelsbreath
2019-01-14 02:44 am UTC (link)
Not due to a love interest or anything like yours but I get it in a way.

Eventually it could get better for you.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

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