I always knew my mom was mental but what was she thinking swinging around a frying pan? She could have damaged my lovely face. I mean sure, maybe I should have mentioned I was coming home but I thought it would be a nice surprise! I have been gone three months! Geeze.
Okay, maybe I shouldn't have crept into the house at 1am either. I admit it but airports are about as accurate and on time as the weather forecast.
At least I know our house is safe from burgers. Mum has terrific aim, I might add. My reflexes are just better.