InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "It's not my club. Not my rules"

Alyssa Collins (shegrewup) wrote in valarnet,
@ 2014-10-05 18:36:00

Entry tags:

alyssa collins, catty turner, michael glass, michael saratoga, shane collins

This morning at work one of the guys who works with my some days started going off on really, really bad surf jokes, I thought I should share them...

Surfing Wisdom
Give a man a surfboard, and you've distracted him for a day.

Teach a man to surf, and you can't get him to work If you think it's hard to meet new people, try taking off on the wrong wave.

Golf: For people who don't know how to surf. The best day at work will never be as good as your worst day surfing.

Q: Why is surfing like sex?
A: When it's good, it's really, really good. And when it's bad.....it's still pretty good.

Q: Why does a blonde throw water on her keyboard?
A: To surf the internet

Q: Why are surfer's generally more cheerful and relaxed then most others?
A: They are the only grownups who get to pee in their cloths on a regular basis.

Q: What do you call a surfer who just broke up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless

Q: What do you call a Samoan surfing the outside break at Pipeline on a five-foot day?
A: Tufa Out.

Q: What is the most popular sport following a Tsunami?
A: Body Surfing!

Q: What detergent do surfers use to wash their wet suit?
A: Tide!

Q: How do people surfing say HI to each other?
A: They Wave!

There were more, but I can't remember all of them. I know they're horrible.

(Post a new comment)

	fistsfirst 2014-10-06 02:22 am UTC (link)
	Those really are some bad jokes. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-06 02:32 am UTC (link)
	They are kind of hysterically bad though. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fistsfirst 2014-10-06 04:13 pm UTC (link)
	Maybe. A little. I think I like the one about the blonde the most. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-07 05:26 pm UTC (link)
	You would, seeing as you're nearly blond as it is! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fistsfirst 2014-10-07 09:08 pm UTC (link)
	I think you're going crazy. Too much time in the sun. Have you seen my hair? :P (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-08 12:18 am UTC (link)
	You're blond at heart, and I've seen some little strands of blond lately. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fistsfirst 2014-10-08 12:54 am UTC (link)
	As long as their not grays. I'll take it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-08 12:57 am UTC (link)
	You are so vein. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fistsfirst 2014-10-08 01:02 am UTC (link)
	Don't be jealous, brat. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-08 01:08 am UTC (link)
	You're the old fart, not me! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fistsfirst 2014-10-08 01:09 am UTC (link)
	Young and handsome. Have you seen this face? Flawless. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-08 01:11 am UTC (link)
	Wrinkles! I see Wrinkles! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fistsfirst 2014-10-08 01:17 am UTC (link)
	You better watch it! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-08 01:19 am UTC (link)
	What?! I'm speaking the truth! We could get you some anti-wrinkle cream. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fistsfirst 2014-10-14 04:56 am UTC (link)
	I'll put something extra in your chili next time. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-16 10:57 pm UTC (link)
	No you wont. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	fallengoddess 2014-10-06 04:50 pm UTC (link)
	I think they're pretty funny! Is he cute? (Reply to this) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-07 05:26 pm UTC (link)
	He's okay. He's kind of got a good smile. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	fallengoddess 2014-10-07 09:08 pm UTC (link)
	Cute boys make work go by much quicker. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-08 12:18 am UTC (link)
	I agree. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	loveshisvan 2014-10-06 04:51 pm UTC (link)
	You're making me want to surf again. It's been awhile. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-07 05:26 pm UTC (link)
	So, come surfing! I'm still getting better at it, but it's so much fun. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	loveshisvan 2014-10-07 09:06 pm UTC (link)
	It's been awhile. After swimming in the ocean here I couldn't bring myself to go into the ocean out on the East Coast. I'll have to come by. I need a new board. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-08 12:18 am UTC (link)
	Come in on Sunday morning, that's when I work. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	loveshisvan 2014-10-08 12:53 am UTC (link)
	Sunday it is. I'll come by! Thanks! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-08 12:58 am UTC (link)
	Great! Looking forward to see you! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	loveshisvan 2014-10-15 02:59 am UTC (link)
	Likewise! Maybe I'll even be nice and come with coffee. If you're nice. ;) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-16 11:00 pm UTC (link)
	Really? Oh, I'm really nice, really nice. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	loveshisvan 2014-10-19 10:57 pm UTC (link)
	What kind of coffee would you like? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-20 12:02 am UTC (link)
	Pumpkin spice! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	loveshisvan 2014-10-20 12:06 am UTC (link)
	I knew you were one of those pumpkin people! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-20 12:11 am UTC (link)
	Not every single day, but more like every other day. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	loveshisvan 2014-10-20 12:16 am UTC (link)
	I guess that isn't so bad. ;) (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-20 02:40 am UTC (link)
	It's not bad! What? Do you hate pumpkin or something? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	loveshisvan 2014-10-22 03:40 am UTC (link)
	I'm a regular coffee kind of guy. When I drink it. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-22 03:52 am UTC (link)
	Boring! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	loveshisvan 2014-10-22 03:53 am UTC (link)
	Better than one of the pumpkin crazed people! (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-22 03:54 am UTC (link)
	I love pumpkin stuff, way before it got overly popular. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	loveshisvan 2014-10-22 04:26 am UTC (link)
	Then I suppose you're cool. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-22 04:29 am UTC (link)
	I am awesomely cool. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	towngoldenboy 2014-10-13 02:09 am UTC (link)
	I think I'm going to have to take back everything I've ever said about Shane and his bad jokes. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-13 03:35 pm UTC (link)
	I don't know... Shane has REALLY bad jokes. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	towngoldenboy 2014-10-17 04:47 am UTC (link)
	Good point. I guess I can take back half of it. But those are almost as bad as some of the ones he's thrown out there. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	shegrewup 2014-10-19 11:44 pm UTC (link)
	Just half of it? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	towngoldenboy 2014-10-23 12:00 am UTC (link)
	Just half of what I've said about his bad jokes over the years. (Reply to this) (Parent)