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Faramir doesn't believe the darkness will endure. (without_glory) wrote in valarnet,

Yes, I'm afraid we will have to agree to disagree. I realize that it takes some measure of effort during times of disagreement to make a relationship work. Despite having one family member that I do not see eye to eye with, I don't seek out confrontations and it is sometimes best to let sleeping dogs lie.

To my thinking, if you find the right person, one's definition of 'work' is put in question. It shouldn't be a chore, or something one person has to strive for, definitely not more than the other. It has to be that which is mutual, hand in hand, shared and cooperative. The word 'work' when used with the word 'relationship' or 'love' makes me think more of tedium and toil, than that which should be bringing one joy and companionship. It shouldn't dredge up thoughts of receiving some form of output because of imputing x amount of effort into an equation.

The same pertains to my friends, and even to my brother, since we are friends as well. I do not have to work at all to keep up with them. Friends are those whom I find myself naturally at ease with. Spending time with them brings me happiness and seems to do the same for them. It's mutually beneficial and I make no demands of their time, if they are busy or preoccupied with other matters. I don't want them to think of spending time with me, to feel like a chore.

Ultimately, you are more cynical than I am, but that is due to your life experiences. Even if I haven't endured such issues as you have faced, I am simply more cautious when it comes to romance. Everyone is different. Personalities and the way in which we each handle a wide variety of situations will never be the same. It is all subjective. And despite any other circumstances, trials, or bitter cynical fathers tribulations? I am already happy with my life. I am not looking for a precise piece to fit into the puzzle that I am. I would rather have someone complimentary and have a mutual understanding, than not.

When the time is right and I think the person is right, I will offer to share my life with them. In the meantime, I will continue to see my friends and my brother, and that is well enough for me. Casual dating of several different people is not my style, since I need to...feel, or sense...a connection to that person, beforehand. I simply have not, yet, and have not had that happen in a while. :)

I must thank you for the conversation and your unique outlook. I hope you go for it where your happiness is concerned, and that you someday find someone who isn't disappointing in a long term sense.