Okay, I thought I knew all the rubbish about tipping people in America because you lot are too harebrained to pay people a living wage. I hadn't the faintest idea that you're actually supposed to tip the people who package a takeaway order you pick up yourself. And then I got called a "twat" when I said I hadn't got cash.
I'm fucking Irish, mate; don't take it out on me, take it out on your absurd wage laws.