The Tomb Raider (lara) wrote in valarnet, @ 2013-10-11 15:38:00 |
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Entry tags: | alexandra roivas, ezio auditore da firenze, lara croft, lorna dane (polaris), renji abarai, sam nishimura |
I don’t know what I’m becoming. I wake up with a new scar every day. Some of them are angry and raw, others faded. My bones ache, my fingernails, my teeth. I look in the mirror and there’s a stranger staring back. Her eyes… there’s a hardness in them. A darkness, like something that could consume me.I kill these men in my dreams. They’re hopeless. They’re twisted by that island into something beastial. Most of them are insane. They want to kill me. Kill me, and they have Sam. I want to make them afraid of me. I want them to know I’m coming and I want them to die. Before anything could happen to any of my friends.
I count. One. Then three, then ten. I kill them with a pistol, I kill them with a bow. Oh, I’m so good with that bow. I still feel sick, each time I kill. The worse are up close. When I have to kill with the climbing axe, or choke them with my bow. But I don’t pause, I don’t reflect on it, because if I did, I’d die. And if I died, there’d be no one for Sam.
They’re afraid of me. Last night they saw me coming. They were afraid of me and I made them run.
I feel like I lost control of my life. I thought these dreams were going to be exciting, but they’ve become an utter nightmare. I can’t even relax. Shepard snuck up behind me and I nearly stabbed her with a knife.
She just gave me this look. Like she knew. Like she understood. And that scares me most of all.